Silver Alert CT - Jennifer Dulos, 50, New Canaan, 24 May 2019 #13 *ARRESTS*

[Deleted member 229974]

The bottom line is that JD was both smarter and richer than FD, and that was the fatal flaw, literally it seems, for him as a narcissist.

JD was highly empathetic, and you can see from the years of her blog how she tried to adapt and justify to herself his controlling narcissism by focusing on the kids and putting her needs aside, everything from not having her own bathroom (when the house had 7.5 bathrooms) to naming the youngest daughter, to the party heavy lifestyle and excessive mad rush of extravagant holiday travel that she dreaded. Also how she tried to be supportive and take pride in his obsession as a champion water skier, convincing herself how happy she was for him to have a world renowned coach even as he travelled 10 days a month to pursue this fantasy. She absorbed all of his demands at her own expense, in the name of keeping him from exploding and for the sake of the kids.

It was only when she found out about MT and FD suggested that MT and daughter move in, that she couldn’t absorb it anymore. Not because she wasn’t capable, but because there was no way for her to hide this egregious violation by convincing herself it was her own limitation, or for the sake of the kids. She couldn’t look away or pursue perfectionism as a solution, because it was so obvious and disruptive, and it would be so visible to others. It was also about this time that she found out he had a gun that he had purchased without a permit in FL and brought to CT; and he cornered her in the bedroom with the nanny watching. There was no more way for her to cover it up, and she realized that her life was at stake.

Once she decided to go, she executed it perfectly, which was of course a huge insult to FDs controlling narcissism. His calling 911 and urging them to “hurry up” the night she left to NC was the start. In court over the next 2 years FD faced battle after battle with her attorney RM who isn’t one to let anything go. Plus narcissism isn’t the best strategy in court where your opposition can draw clear lines from fact to fact and where narcissistic invincibility doesn’t always work out so well. Lying under oath, and manipulating your children to do so, doesn’t pan out well when you’re found out, and is even more infuriating when your opponent (JD) has outsmarted you by hiring a private investigator to out you. And then you’re running out of money, too, and it’s your wife’s money to begin with. And, you’re about to be exposed for the fraud you are, and maybe even face charges related to the lies you’ve been living and running your business on.

It’s clear from the divorce filings that he was cornered and running out of options. The so-called “favorable” custody report, his last resort, was down the drain too, inadmissible as evidence and unconvincing to the judge when he narcissistically asked for emergency custody after it was revealed. It was clear that by making JD “disappear” he could solve this big problem, and he knew he was smart enough to do it well. Classic textbook narcissistic rage.

Once arrested, feeling cornered again, he found just the narcissistic mirror he needed in NP. Someone equally dependent on attention and willing to collaborate on building a fantasy about who’s in control, who’s really the one being harmed the most here. And so the saga continues.

Bravo!

 

[skyedaze]

This was several days ago but I heard there was some interview with FD. Like why? And why would his lawyer be ok with that? Whatever it was, I didn't listen to it...don't want to hear him say anything but "guilty."

 

[MemPat]

The bottom line is that JD was both smarter and richer than FD, and that was the fatal flaw, literally it seems, for him as a narcissist.

JD was highly empathetic, and you can see from the years of her blog how she tried to adapt and justify to herself his controlling narcissism by focusing on the kids and putting her needs aside, everything from not having her own bathroom (when the house had 7.5 bathrooms) to naming the youngest daughter, to the party heavy lifestyle and excessive mad rush of extravagant holiday travel that she dreaded. Also how she tried to be supportive and take pride in his obsession as a champion water skier, convincing herself how happy she was for him to have a world renowned coach even as he travelled 10 days a month to pursue this fantasy. She absorbed all of his demands at her own expense, in the name of keeping him from exploding and for the sake of the kids.

It was only when she found out about MT and FD suggested that MT and daughter move in, that she couldn’t absorb it anymore. Not because she wasn’t capable, but because there was no way for her to hide this egregious violation by convincing herself it was her own limitation, or for the sake of the kids. She couldn’t look away or pursue perfectionism as a solution, because it was so obvious and disruptive, and it would be so visible to others. It was also about this time that she found out he had a gun that he had purchased without a permit in FL and brought to CT; and he cornered her in the bedroom with the nanny watching. There was no more way for her to cover it up, and she realized that her life was at stake.

Once she decided to go, she executed it perfectly, which was of course a huge insult to FDs controlling narcissism. His calling 911 and urging them to “hurry up” the night she left to NC was the start. In court over the next 2 years FD faced battle after battle with her attorney RM who isn’t one to let anything go. Plus narcissism isn’t the best strategy in court where your opposition can draw clear lines from fact to fact and where narcissistic invincibility doesn’t always work out so well. Lying under oath, and manipulating your children to do so, doesn’t pan out well when you’re found out, and is even more infuriating when your opponent (JD) has outsmarted you by hiring a private investigator to out you. And then you’re running out of money, too, and it’s your wife’s money to begin with. And, you’re about to be exposed for the fraud you are, and maybe even face charges related to the lies you’ve been living and running your business on.

It’s clear from the divorce filings that he was cornered and running out of options. The so-called “favorable” custody report, his last resort, was down the drain too, inadmissible as evidence and unconvincing to the judge when he narcissistically asked for emergency custody after it was revealed. It was clear that by making JD “disappear” he could solve this big problem, and he knew he was smart enough to do it well. Classic textbook narcissistic rage.

Once arrested, feeling cornered again, he found just the narcissistic mirror he needed in NP. Someone equally dependent on attention and willing to collaborate on building a fantasy about who’s in control, who’s really the one being harmed the most here. And so the saga continues.

sleuth66, this is the best look inside Jennifer's life I've seen and I had almost a visceral reaction to your words.

We will all take such pleasure in seeing FD exposed and imprisoned for what he is.
(He will, of course, still find someone to manipulate in jail but at least it will be another criminal
and the most he can get is the guy's Commissary tuna fish.)

My greatest joy will be the humiliation FD will feel when all of America and Greece knows he was never a financial success, just a gigolo who glommed off defenseless (but rich) women.

Let justice come soon!

 

[Jewel220]

I noticed on one of his pics amongst all the waterskiing pics...he had a pic holding boxing gloves in front of his face...not sure if I can say where I found those...so I won’t....but My son boxes and he has the power to knock someone out cold quite easily if he wanted to...if FD was a regular boxer he would not need to bring a weapon...and he wouldn’t need gloves either his hands would not bruise if he hit a bag at times..they would be conditioned...he did punch a garage attendant previously so I do think his own hands was his weapon

 

[Mrs. M]

I am new to this site...but I can’t help but wonder...GF had armed guards relatively quick...JD had filed to argue the new visitation order....I also noticed FD had filed a complaint that JD previously was scheduling things for the kids that interrupted his visitation....any chance her plan to go to NYC was for the entire weekend...and the armed guards were prearranged?....maybe one of the kids tipped him off by text that they weren’t coming?....I do think the forensic audit definitely played a factor in this but he also had many complaints about not getting to see his kids

Welcome Jewel220!

 

[MemPat]

I noticed on one of his pics amongst all the waterskiing pics...he had a pic holding boxing gloves in front of his face...not sure if I can say where I found those...so I won’t....but My son boxes and he has the power to knock someone out cold quite easily if he wanted to...if FD was a regular boxer he would not need to bring a weapon...and he wouldn’t need gloves either his hands would not bruise if he hit a bag at times..they would be conditioned...he did punch a garage attendant previously so I do think his own hands was his weapon

Welcome, Jewel220! That's such a good point and not one I've heard made here. The waterskiing would also build up great strength in his hands and arms.

 

[MyBelle]

I know. But aggressive litigants take advantage of due process rights. There's not much that can be done.

People who are parties to divorces often don't understand the ins and outs.

They assume too much. "Why does he keep getting away with this!!"

"Well, the judge hasn't read the motions yet because due to an impacted calendar we keep getting continued."

"Yes but he keeps doing all these terrible things! Look at all his emails and letters that I have to pay you to respond to!"

"The judge isn't reading all of that. I am. The judge only reads what's before her and set for that day. She has hundreds of cases and doesn't know every fact of every one. No judge could."

"But he keeps hassling me!"

"But the judge doesn't know everything he's done. She only knows what is before her in the subject of a motion."

And on and on.

The fact is FD absolutely did NOT get away with contempt. His rights to his kids were taken away for the most part. Contact was totally suspended for months. Which is super rare and super harsh as parents have constitutional rights to raise their kids. So this was a major punishment for contempt.

Next, he was given only minimal, supervised visits. Again for months. Lasting to the point when his contact was again halted.

For a guy who has high priced lawyers and is aggressive in litigation, he got an extremely poor outcome for himself. That was directly related to his contempt of orders not to expose his kids to his sidepiece.

There are consequences in court but it can take a long time and be a long process. The court has no choice but to entertain motions filed by the parties unless they're absolutely gibberish. Or repeat the same thing.

There's nothing much the court can do if someone has money and the means to litigate at this level of aggressiveness unless it is clearly frivolous.

But I can think of so much to slow the process that would be legitimate if my clients could afford it - intricate discovery (depos, request for admissions, special interrogatories, depositions), motions, requests for forensic evaluations, emergency motions, on and on.

And all would be valid.

Litigants like this take advantage of an impacted court system. Never enough judges for the caseload.

But while people complain they become super offended when they're asked to pay taxes to make the system run more smoothly and faster (such that special masters, for example, can be appointed on county dime and handle cases and bring them to a conclusion).

And frankly, I don't think that's the most important use of our stretched tax dollars right now.

Finally, I must point out that the docket shows Jennifer was a pretty aggressive litigant herself.

ITA Jennifer was a pretty aggressive litigant but her attorneys sure didn't address her own safety or maybe there was nothing they could do? I don't know the laws in CT about obtaining an EPO. <modsnipped>

JMO

 

[MyBelle]

The bottom line is that JD was both smarter and richer than FD, and that was the fatal flaw, literally it seems, for him as a narcissist.

JD was highly empathetic, and you can see from the years of her blog how she tried to adapt and justify to herself his controlling narcissism by focusing on the kids and putting her needs aside, everything from not having her own bathroom (when the house had 7.5 bathrooms) to naming the youngest daughter, to the party heavy lifestyle and excessive mad rush of extravagant holiday travel that she dreaded. Also how she tried to be supportive and take pride in his obsession as a champion water skier, convincing herself how happy she was for him to have a world renowned coach even as he travelled 10 days a month to pursue this fantasy. She absorbed all of his demands at her own expense, in the name of keeping him from exploding and for the sake of the kids.

It was only when she found out about MT and FD suggested that MT and daughter move in, that she couldn’t absorb it anymore. Not because she wasn’t capable, but because there was no way for her to hide this egregious violation by convincing herself it was her own limitation, or for the sake of the kids. She couldn’t look away or pursue perfectionism as a solution, because it was so obvious and disruptive, and it would be so visible to others. It was also about this time that she found out he had a gun that he had purchased without a permit in FL and brought to CT; and he cornered her in the bedroom with the nanny watching. There was no more way for her to cover it up, and she realized that her life was at stake.

Once she decided to go, she executed it perfectly, which was of course a huge insult to FDs controlling narcissism. His calling 911 and urging them to “hurry up” the night she left to NC was the start. In court over the next 2 years FD faced battle after battle with her attorney RM who isn’t one to let anything go. Plus narcissism isn’t the best strategy in court where your opposition can draw clear lines from fact to fact and where narcissistic invincibility doesn’t always work out so well. Lying under oath, and manipulating your children to do so, doesn’t pan out well when you’re found out, and is even more infuriating when your opponent (JD) has outsmarted you by hiring a private investigator to out you. And then you’re running out of money, too, and it’s your wife’s money to begin with. And, you’re about to be exposed for the fraud you are, and maybe even face charges related to the lies you’ve been living and running your business on.

It’s clear from the divorce filings that he was cornered and running out of options. The so-called “favorable” custody report, his last resort, was down the drain too, inadmissible as evidence and unconvincing to the judge when he narcissistically asked for emergency custody after it was revealed. It was clear that by making JD “disappear” he could solve this big problem, and he knew he was smart enough to do it well. Classic textbook narcissistic rage.

Once arrested, feeling cornered again, he found just the narcissistic mirror he needed in NP. Someone equally dependent on attention and willing to collaborate on building a fantasy about who’s in control, who’s really the one being harmed the most here. And so the saga continues.

BBM. Narcissists are attracted to empathetic women like moths to a flame. Such women always seem to come from a loving home and they are blind-sided by the manipulation and control. Several books have been written about "Empaths." Look at all the high profile murders of mothers and the women's parents actually liked the guy and had no idea he was capable of such brutality.

FD has lost all public respect and I'm sure that really makes him pout far more than losing his children.

JMO

 

[gitana1]

You mentioned that NP sees Jennifer as being the crazy one in this case. So, he’s sees the same case as you, but thinks his client is the insane one while you see FD as the crazy one. And either way, it is a crazy mess!

I don't think NP thinks Jennifer was insane. He's a liar. It must have been someone else!

 

[Chicago54]

The bottom line is that JD was both smarter and richer than FD, and that was the fatal flaw, literally it seems, for him as a narcissist.

JD was highly empathetic, and you can see from the years of her blog how she tried to adapt and justify to herself his controlling narcissism by focusing on the kids and putting her needs aside, everything from not having her own bathroom (when the house had 7.5 bathrooms) to naming the youngest daughter, to the party heavy lifestyle and excessive mad rush of extravagant holiday travel that she dreaded. Also how she tried to be supportive and take pride in his obsession as a champion water skier, convincing herself how happy she was for him to have a world renowned coach even as he travelled 10 days a month to pursue this fantasy. She absorbed all of his demands at her own expense, in the name of keeping him from exploding and for the sake of the kids.

It was only when she found out about MT and FD suggested that MT and daughter move in, that she couldn’t absorb it anymore. Not because she wasn’t capable, but because there was no way for her to hide this egregious violation by convincing herself it was her own limitation, or for the sake of the kids. She couldn’t look away or pursue perfectionism as a solution, because it was so obvious and disruptive, and it would be so visible to others. It was also about this time that she found out he had a gun that he had purchased without a permit in FL and brought to CT; and he cornered her in the bedroom with the nanny watching. There was no more way for her to cover it up, and she realized that her life was at stake.

Once she decided to go, she executed it perfectly, which was of course a huge insult to FDs controlling narcissism. His calling 911 and urging them to “hurry up” the night she left to NC was the start. In court over the next 2 years FD faced battle after battle with her attorney RM who isn’t one to let anything go. Plus narcissism isn’t the best strategy in court where your opposition can draw clear lines from fact to fact and where narcissistic invincibility doesn’t always work out so well. Lying under oath, and manipulating your children to do so, doesn’t pan out well when you’re found out, and is even more infuriating when your opponent (JD) has outsmarted you by hiring a private investigator to out you. And then you’re running out of money, too, and it’s your wife’s money to begin with. And, you’re about to be exposed for the fraud you are, and maybe even face charges related to the lies you’ve been living and running your business on.

It’s clear from the divorce filings that he was cornered and running out of options. The so-called “favorable” custody report, his last resort, was down the drain too, inadmissible as evidence and unconvincing to the judge when he narcissistically asked for emergency custody after it was revealed. It was clear that by making JD “disappear” he could solve this big problem, and he knew he was smart enough to do it well. Classic textbook narcissistic rage.

Once arrested, feeling cornered again, he found just the narcissistic mirror he needed in NP. Someone equally dependent on attention and willing to collaborate on building a fantasy about who’s in control, who’s really the one being harmed the most here. And so the saga continues.

I wish so could give you 100 “likes” for this!
Perfect summation.

 

[Bulldogs2]

‘I’m not Charles Manson:’ Court transcripts show escalating tension and anger in two-year Dulos divorce
Did y’all see this? This is a fantastic summary of the divorce motions the last two years. Some interesting info.

 

[Sillybilly]

This post lands at random ... for members who are questioning why personal anecdotes get removed.

We don't remove posts just to be mean . Other members, guests and family members come here to read about the case, not about the experiences or lives of individual Websleuths members.

Websleuths has grown to over 150,000 members. If all members are allowed to veer off topic by discussing themselves and their personal experiences or just whatever they feel like commenting on, it makes the thread about them instead of the case at hand. This has the potential of derailing the thread.

Example: Say someone speculates that possibly the perp comes from an abusive childhood (a harmless speculative post, right?). Next thing we know we have people posting about their Cousin Joe's abusive childhood what it did or didn't do to him, and from there we get to members arguing over what does or does not constitute childhood abuse or that their marriage failed due to spouse having experienced it. Gosh, maybe the perp in this case didn't even have an abusive childhood, so what's the point of taking the discussion off in that direction?

If members feel the need to discuss and compare personal experiences, please use the private messaging feature instead of the public threads.

On another note, discussing moderation is a violation of TOS, one of the few violations that can result in an immediate Time Out. If you have a concern or question about moderation, contact a Mod or Admin through private messaging rather than complaining about it on the thread.

 

[gitana1]

ITA Jennifer was a pretty aggressive litigant but her attorneys sure didn't address her own safety or maybe there was nothing they could do? I don't know the laws in CT about obtaining an EPO. <modsnipped personal anecdote>

JMO

I think she was aggressive because she could afford it and felt she had to.

Her attorneys did seek a temporary restraining order but were unsuccessful. So they did indeed address her safety. It's very easy to see in retrospect for us because Jennifer's missing and it seems clear that FD killed her. But the court didn't have the benefit of hindsight at the time. The judge just had a he said she said situation and as many of the restraining order requests are based on lies by angry litigants who want to do whatever they can to get custody or not have to pay support or whatever.

And she simply didn't find enough evidence to issue such an order. And believe me, courts tend to err on the side of caution.

I have a feeling that while Jennifer knew FD was dangerous she didn't have enough evidence to actually support current domestic violence of threats. So she didn't have a way to protect herself until he did something violent. Unfortunately by then it was too late.

<modsnipped>

 

[MyBelle]

I think she was aggressive because she could afford it and felt she had to.

Her attorneys did seek a temporary restraining order but were unsuccessful. So they did indeed address her safety. It's very easy to see in retrospect for us because Jennifer's missing and it seems clear that FD killed her. But the court didn't have the benefit of hindsight at the time. The judge just had a he said she said situation and as many of the restraining order requests are based on lies by angry litigants who want to do whatever they can to get custody or not have to pay support or whatever.

And she simply didn't find enough evidence to issue such an order. And believe me, courts tend to err on the side of caution.

I have a feeling that while Jennifer knew FD was dangerous she didn't have enough evidence to actually support current domestic violence of threats. So she didn't have a way to protect herself until he did something violent. Unfortunately by then it was too late.

<modsnipped>

<modsnipped>

Just read the linked article and see that JD did get a PO but was unsuccessful in getting the protection order extended after several hearings. But it appears that the PO only covered the children, not herself. I also question whether the children had forensic interviews.

The Courts don't have benefit of hindsight but I do believe Judges need much better training in understanding the strong link between domestic violence and the point a woman tries to leave. It is a very dangerous time for victims and their children. Both Jennifer and her children have suffered for two years and have paid a very dear price.

JMO

 

[MyBelle]

duplicate

 

[peace9274]

Thanks so much for that. Interestingly, Jennifer, who NP claims is so insane, is the one who was hell bent on the custody eval. She filed at least four motions for it. And one for an educational eval.

In the meantime the controlling freak filed a motion for orders regarding "waterskiing".

I reviewed the docket. I saw nothing filed by Jennifer seeking to disqualify the GAL. I saw a motion filed on 12-29-17 by her seeking to modify the order appointing the GAL, which she had sought.

It doesn't say disqualify and it could be any sort of terms of the order.

However, FD filed a motion on 3-19-19 seeking to disqualify. I believe that was as to the GAL. But I can't be sure.

This is the post I was referring to.

“Interestingly, Jennifer, who NP claims is so insane, is the one who was hell bent on the custody eval.”

 

[Spider92]

Are there any remote or quiet bridges that cross over the Connecticut or Hudson Rivers? I think disposal in a water body would be more likely to occur in a spot with direct access to deep water. Disposal in a pond or lake would generally involve shallow water by the shore or use of a boat, each of which carries its own risks.

 

[afitzy]

No Case Norm seems to be having to go quite far afield and is digging deep IMO to locate 'character' references for his client and he seems to have found someone from Greece to talk about his client. Guess he is doing this in advance of the battle for full custody. Putting this article into the thread for your reading pleasure....

We now get to meet the following individual from Greece:

"Nancy Mastrocosta, secretary general of the Hellenic Waterski and Wakeboard Federation in Athens, Greece, released a statement Sunday night through Fotis Dulos’ divorce attorney". Ms. Mastrocosta allegedly knew FD and met the children when they competed in Greece during 2013-2016 and she admits to never having met JD who did not attend the events in Greece at the training facility (my guess is that she paid for these costly trips though and I wonder if these trips were the ones where FD bought the tickets for entire family but didnt' invite JD?!).

According to this article Jennifer Dulos case: Fotis seen as ‘caring father’ while coaching water skiing

“Fotis Dulos is not the person portrayed in the media; far from it,” Mastrocosta said in the statement. “We witnessed Fotis for many years as a calm, balanced, respectful, kind person. We witnessed a caring father, not only for his kids’ skiing activities, but for every aspect of their daily lives, feeding them, putting them to sleep, taking his children and sometimes other children to different activities, such as swimming, bowling, dinner, etc. No one ever witnessed Fotis abusing his children in any way or form, or even forcing the children to ski.”

Contrast above statement to court documents detailed in the article:

"In divorce documents, Jennifer Dulos described her husband’s affinity for water skiing as an “obsession.” She said he insisted their children train to be world-class water skiers, and had them on a strict regimen that she believed was “dangerous and excessive” and would sometimes last all day".

 

[afitzy]

For some comic relief on this very sad case with no news of note, I read through the google reviews on FORE Group hoping to learn more about what people thought of the construction build quality. Not much on the reviews about build quality but there are some very angry people!

But in sifting through the reviews, I came across one that was actually a good idea as a way to use the 'white elephant' houses that FORE Group owns in Farmington that most likely can't or won't be sold anytime soon based on market conditions.

The person posted the following:

Eleni LoDolce
Local Guide · 2 reviews · 8 photos
Do you think anyone should by these homes?

I would love to see them Named after Jennifer and be a safe home for DV victims with children, while waiting for a place. [BBM]

If FD and No Case Norm want to do something to rehab the image of their client who the public believes to be a monster and a person seen by the Family Court in CT as unfit to see them except on a highly supervised basis then why not follow through on Eleni's suggestion and turn the houses into safe homes for DV victims with children? CT is very short on safe houses and so I'm sure the DV community in Hartford would embrace this idea!

 

[enelram]

just some food for thought..... The article linked last night to
Larry Noodles' insight in the investigation of FD shows some
things to think about:
Larry calls FD a 'Turk' who grew up in Greece. Interesting that
he did not call him 'Greek'. What was he saying without saying
it? Was he implying 'Turks' are a different type of person than a
Greek? Is Turk a more derogatory term rather than calling him
Greek? There was a subtle message in his statement, IMO.

In searching for some info on 'Turks' and their opinions of how
their family operates I found that they are very Patriarchal,
women are low on the totem pole and wife beating and abuse
is acceptable. College aged students in Turkey were studied
to see their opinions of this. Not surprising the male students
thought it was perfectly fine to beat your wife/and or abuse them.
Beliefs About Wife Beating Among Turkish College Students: The Effects of Patriarchy, Sexism, and Sex Differences
Also historically in divorce Turks usually get full custody of all marital children
since children are considered part of the husband's household property.