Oh man. My heart sunk this morning when I checked for updates. I was devastated.
The kids going back to school. Kids whose innocence has been destroyed; lives turned into a nightmare. The family must have been advised to keep the kids on some kind of familiar schedule with familiar surroundings and familiar people. And all the kids at their school. Their innocence also lost. What do you say to their peers about what has happened? And how can you possibly explain to the Dulos children what has happened to their mother and father? At their different ages, there are different ways of telling them what is going on. However they are all together and discussing with each other so it's just a disaster and beyond my comprehension.
Then there is the family of Jennifer. Raising 5 traumatized children and being no doubt traumatized yourself will be no small feat. The grandmother simply does not have enough time to raise them. So by default it will go to her sister I suppose? Having 5 children to raise by choice is an immense job, doing so by default is mind-blowing to me. Thank God the family has money. It will make things much easier to take care of all of them. There is nothing, however, to solve for having both parents gone in the most sinister manner. Children can simply not process this. I am not saying money solves this; it will just make things easier. Money just does make life easier.
Then there is MT's daughter. Her life also has been blown up. There is much more of a chance for her to be okay.
My fervent prayers go to all of the children who have been affected. The children of the community included. Prayers also go to all the adults who are tasked with caring for these children.
My prayers go to everyone involved in this case legally. Can you imagine going into mounds of garbage that has been sitting for two weeks to look for what may pieces of Jennifer. Jennifer, a once beautiful, vibrant, dedicated woman who has been ripped from the earth in an unimaginably violent manner.
This is where my my emotions turn to rage. FD. Pure, bone-chilling evil. I would bet the farm that in his mind, he blames JD for all of this. For "making" him resort to this. If we follow with his psychological profile, he feels he is a victim. He feels victimized, and that he was bullied into doing this. If he had any empathy or felt personally responsible he would throw himself into the fire and confess. This man is trying to save his own life. I cannot even wrap my head around this. How could he not hate himself. If I were law enforcement I would have a hard time not torturing this man for answers.
For my own mental health, I am going to have to limit myself to checking on this case only once a day. My young daughter is a recovering heroin addict. She feels like she has no value and fights to want to live. I think I gravitate toward this story because feeling the pain for everyone in this scenario is easier than facing my own pain. I am going to have to focus on all the beauty life has to offer. I will concentrate on everything I have to be grateful for. I hope you all take some time to focus on the blessings and goodness in your own lives as well.
