Recovered/Located CT - Robert Hoagland, 50, Newtown, 28 Jul 2013

[BeckyF]

How he was able to find a formal job without having valid social security identification? Was his employment/tax status legal?

That’s what I’m wondering. Was he being paid under the table? Any sort of activity related to his SS number would be traceable by investigators who searched for him, right?

 

[radiator]

How he was able to find a formal job without having valid social security identification? Was his employment/tax status legal?

The article said he was a contractor so the employer isn't required to take out taxes but, I think, the employer is required to issue a 1099 if he pays somebody more than around $400 in a year. My guess is he was working under the table which is why the business owner didn't respond to messages from the reporter though several of his coworkers verified that he worked there.

 

[neesaki]

Just discovered this case. It’s fascinating how he was able to live under the radar that long, and wasn’t even that far from his home. I can actually understand why someone would leave to start a new life, but it’s very sad for his family, especially his sons.

 

[ilovewings]

For anyone that is interested the show Disappeared is on featuring the disappearance of Hoagland. I have to tell you I am not watching it since I know what he did and his walking away from his wife and especially his children makes me extremely angry. Those children will be damaged to some extent- children always make it personal, thinking it was something about them that caused their father to walk away from them. To do what he did, walking away and leaving his family wondering what happened to him is an unforgiveable act IMO.

 

[Valiant]

There are people who leave their family for selfish reasons.
There are people who leave their family thinking the family is better off without them, though those are usually suicides.

 

[ChatteringBirds]

There are people who leave their family for selfish reasons.
There are people who leave their family thinking the family is better off without them, though those are usually suicides.

I think there are also people who walk away from their lives feeling it's for pure survival.
You would hope they would leave a note explaining ... but maybe they feel unable.

 

[G.Keelie]

It bothers me that one of his sons got a lot of blame for his father’s disappearance and I think it caused a rift in the family. We will never know his reasons for doing what he did, but he really left his son with an unfair burden. He had left the family once before, so it was not completely out of the realm of possibility that he had left again, but there was an awful cloud left over the family.

 

[caradana]

If nothing else, am glad they have closure. The one gift in a horrible and painful situation of many years. They don’t have to wonder anymore.

 

[ilovewings]

It bothers me that one of his sons got a lot of blame for his father’s disappearance and I think it caused a rift in the family. We will never know his reasons for doing what he did, but he really left his son with an unfair burden. He had left the family once before, so it was not completely out of the realm of possibility that he had left again, but there was an awful cloud left over the family.

Such a selfish act- especially for the children left in his wake---

 

[Deleted member 287549]

This one had me 50/50 for awhile. Now I’m feeling that he voluntarily walked away. I don’t know why I feel this, I have for years now.

I think it’s more of the family dynamic or yet, the way it appears. Families are all different but, sometimes with the drug issues, wife traveling periodically other sons away sometimes it’s overwhelming I would imagine. His employment also had recently changed if I remember correctly..... Everyone has a breaking point and possibly this was his. Confronting the drug dealers may have been his break. Living with an addict that was not ready to get help must surely be difficult. Hiding your stuff, always worried and then on top of that, he would need to start watching his back. Whew.

Exactly - you called it; this post was written long before RH was eventually located in late 2022.

I definitely sympathize with someone leaving a bad situation like this. RH was in fear for his life and on top of that his valuables/belongings kept getting stolen. Who would want to stay in a situation like this?! Those who are criticizing his choice to vanish have obviously never walked in his shoes/been in this specific situation.

 

[nannymo]

But just a nice i am out of here don't look for me would have been nice. I understand tho. Sad situation.

 

[Queena]

Exactly - you called it; this post was written long before RH was eventually located in late 2022.

I definitely sympathize with someone leaving a bad situation like this. RH was in fear for his life and on top of that his valuables/belongings kept getting stolen. Who would want to stay in a situation like this?! Those who are criticizing his choice to vanish have obviously never walked in his shoes/been in this specific situation.

I pray that if my child is having drug abuse problems, I won't walk away and let everyone think that he is responsible for my disappearance. He feared for his life, but moved less than 2 hours away and pretty much watched his family look for him. He watched and read about his son being a suspect in his disappearance. That's not courage, that's a coward. He left his wife to deal with it all. It takes courage to stay and fight your battles and help your family. Walking away is cowardly, especially when you think about the fact that his son was a suspect and it affected his life so much that he wanted to sue the media.

And his dad was 2 hours away watching it all.

 

[ilovewings]

I pray that if my child is having drug abuse problems, I won't walk away and let everyone think that he is responsible for my disappearance. He feared for his life, but moved less than 2 hours away and pretty much watched his family look for him. He watched and read about his son being a suspect in his disappearance. That's not courage, that's a coward. He left his wife to deal with it all. It takes courage to stay and fight your battles and help your family. Walking away is cowardly, especially when you think about the fact that his son was a suspect and it affected his life so much that he wanted to sue the media.

And his dad was 2 hours away watching it all.

despicable

 

[azure]

I pray that if my child is having drug abuse problems, I won't walk away and let everyone think that he is responsible for my disappearance. He feared for his life, but moved less than 2 hours away and pretty much watched his family look for him. He watched and read about his son being a suspect in his disappearance. That's not courage, that's a coward. He left his wife to deal with it all. It takes courage to stay and fight your battles and help your family. Walking away is cowardly, especially when you think about the fact that his son was a suspect and it affected his life so much that he wanted to sue the media.

And his dad was 2 hours away watching it all.

There but for the grace of god go all of us.

 

[ChatteringBirds]

And his dad was 2 hours away watching it all.

Quote snipped by me. MOO:

Maybe he left, didn't look back, and wasn't watching anything.

It's very complex- and hard to understand- everything our minds will do, to try to protect us emotionally.

 

[Barbara Ann Wilson]

At least his family left a nice tribute in the local press.

Regarding Robert Hoagland​

Regarding Robert Hoagland

The following letter has been received for publication from the Hoagland Family

www.newtownbee.com

Apparently he left behind a journal where he apologizes to his family:

He apologizes to us, his family, deeply and mournfully, and page after page, he pleads his love for each of us by name, as if a mantra.