Deborah Bradley & Jeremy Irwin - Dr. Phil Interview - 3 February 2012 #2

[justbetweenus]

Hey all (Been out of the loop in the hospital - so just now catching back up on things.)

I watched the DrP show. I've read through most of this thread. I *have no clue* as to what happened to BL (a total fence sitter).....

With that said - I can't help but say that it seems like DB is going to be crucified regardless of what she says or does:

**If she cries during the interview -- it's because she feels guilt. If she doesn't cry - she's cold blooded and clearly the person responsible for BL being gone.
**If she stays out of the media - she is wrong for not keeping the story going. If she appears in the media - she's looking for personal attention, not really trying to find her daughter.
**If she tries to explain something because she mis-spoke or something was reported slightly off from what she actually said - then she's a liar, changing her story.
**If she holds onto JI during the interview she is controlling. Had she not had contact with him (holding his leg or his hand) it would said that there was no physical contact between her and JI - a sign that something nefarious is going on.
*** etc, etc, etc.....

I don't think either DB or JI are highly intelligent people. I think they are normal folk who have never had to take time to choose their words carefully. I think they are taking advice from someone - but you can't make an not so educated, non-pristine speaker and turn them into someone who can suddenly speak in interviews etc in a way that is clear.
It's so easy to say 'this is what I would do' but I can look into my own extended family and say that if a scenario like this happened to OUR immediate family - WE would handle it far differently then say my sister and her husband would (my dh & I are very much outgoing, personable people while my sis and her husband are quite the opposite). I just can't imagine - as articulate as I consider myself to be, in a situation in which EVERY SINGLE WORD I SPOKE would be analyzed, ripped apart, mis-reported, etc. I can't imagine the pressure that must bring.

The things that still bother me about this case are:

1. We do know there were calls made to the MW chick - and that DB nor JI have no idea who she is/was.
2. There were independent sightings of a man with a baby - and although that's not much - I find it a HUGE coincidence at the least. How many other cases have there been with outside 'witnesses' reporting something regarding a missing child that amounted to little or nothing? (I don't know of many if any at all)
3. You can't have it both ways. DB was sooooo drunk - then explain how she was able to pull off the perfect crime (could she have 'snapped to' and regained some sense of sober? Probably......but to the point she was able to get rid of her child, clean up in a manner that would leave NO evidence, play sleeping and put on an amazing show for police and family within a few hours? I find that kind of near impossible. (Note: I said 'near' )
4. The dumpster fire with the baby clothes in it along with independent reports of seeing a man with an unclothed child. LE have confirmed that JI's timeline excluded him as a suspect so I just feel like there's something that will end up being connected with BL's disappearance.

All of this is just MOO....... My hope and prayer is that there will come a day when either BL is found alive or that LE find evidence indicating that they know what happened to her without doubt.

Standing ovation....excellent post!

 

[Meri]

Unless there is a lot more evidence of DB killing Lisa and we just don't know about it yet, the only way I think she could have pulled off killing Baby Lisa is if she did it outside the home. Got mad, grabbed the kid, drove to the river, threw her in. That seems far-fetched.

 

[Donjeta]

If the dogs are able to smell the transfer on someone's hands (even after washing them?) I don't understand why we don't simply solve murder cases by letting all the suspects stand in line and let dogs pick the one that smells.

 

[melissasmom]

Those kinds of comments frustrate me SO much. I'm a GREAT mom. I've raised not one, not two, but THREE amazing sons who I love more than life itself. They are grown, contributing members of society, with great lives. I have lived and would die for my children.

I also had 'mommy time' during their childhood. There's a wise saying of "you have to take care of yourself so that you can truly take care of others" --

For all we know DB had 2 glasses of wine before knowing all the children were asleep - and then she drank 2, 4, 6, more glasses. To say she loved her 'mommy time' more than her baby is just well, harsh.

Yes I think it is a little harsh too. We are going based off one incident. This seems to be the first night Jeremy had ever worked a late shift. I got the impression that normally they were BOTH home in the evenings. Should DB have chosen that night to get drunk when there was no other adult around to take care of the children? Most assuredly NO. It was irresponsible. maybe her "adult time" on other nights meant that she had a couple glasses of wine after the kids went to bed, when Jeremy would have been there also. Maybe she did get drunk every night, but we don't know that.
Just because she was a dumb $@# on this night and did something stupid does not mean that she did not love Lisa. I think that is totally unfair to say that. We have no idea what these people's regular habits were or how they parented their children. One idiotic thing does not tell the whole story.

 

[mrsu]

You know...I am going to put this out there. I have been out with my husband at a Christmas party having adult fun before. We had a babysitter for my 3 girls who were 3+yo at the time. We both ended up getting a little too intoxicated, my husband worst than I (a bunch of the guys were doing shots). Got a ride home by some friends. The babysitter went home. My husband and I went to bed. We did not check on the girls. We don't have monitors. We woke up in the morning when they came and jumped on us in bed like they usually do.

Are *WE* bad parents? Maybe some of you think so. So be it. I would NEVER harm one of my kids.

Did my kids get kidnapped? No. Do I think that someone is going to come in my home on any given night and take my kids? No, I don't. Did Debbie think her child would be kidnapped that night (IF that's what happened)? Probably not. Does anyone ever believe they are going to be the family that has a child kidnapped? No.

Now do those things excuse anything...no, they don't. But they happen. Should she have been drinking with a sick toddler? No, probably not, but who am I to judge? Should I have went out with my husband and got a little carried away? No, I probably shouldn't have. But who are you to judge? I can GUARANTEE there are other parents who have done this as well. No, their children were never kidnapped in the night, but had they been, had mine been, I'm sure I would likely feel as guilty as Debbie.

The fact of the matter is, Lisa was kidnapped (allegedly) in the dark of night. It's possible that Debbie may have not heard anything even IF she was completely sober. Or maybe she would have. We simply do not know...IMO.

I will admit right here. I LOVE my "Mommy Time" and would probably not be sane without it! That being said, I'm going to give this thread a break or I will probably end up in the dungeon as well.

 

[norest4thewicked]

Then I can't help but wonder why that person hasn't come forward?

Seriously? That person might not know anything about this. I've known younger people (the "type" to be out at that time of night) who wouldn't know if there was a murder next door. There are many people who are not tuned in to the news at all. No matter what it is.

 

[norest4thewicked]

Yes, Shawn Hornback comes to mind. Hidden in plain sight. Allowed to ride a bike and socialize with friends, even. Elizabeth Smart was taken out in public many times also. I could go on but it seems repetitive. Plain sight is not all that uncommon so in the dark of the night doesn't sound like much of a stretch.

Neither of these cases match this case. Neither SH or ES were taken out into public for many months (and in Shawn's case years) after their abductions. They were instead kept privately for sexual reasons.

 

[Jacie Estes]

If she would have used the car, the dogs should have hit on it. Oriah has so graciously explained that even with all of that packaging, especially if all of that packaging, you still have all of that transfer on YOUR hands. The dogs should have hit on the doorknobs, the door handles of the car, the steering wheel, the spot where the package laid.......

I have seen more dead people than I care too; when I was 16 the lady next door was screaming for help and I ran over. Her husband was dead as a door nail sitting on the sofa. There is oozing and seeping and smelling. It is not just about skin cells 'flaking off' but the bowels and the bladder muscles relax and it isn't pleasant. Imagine the worst 'filled diaper' you can and add more. There would be more than one 'spot' and someone who was drunk would be wretching, as well.

 

[Meri]

Yes I think it is a little harsh too. We are going based off one incident. This seems to be the first night Jeremy had ever worked a late shift. I got the impression that normally they were BOTH home in the evenings. Should DB have chosen that night to get drunk when there was no other adult around to take care of the children? Most assuredly NO. It was irresponsible. maybe her "adult time" on other nights meant that she had a couple glasses of wine after the kids went to bed, when Jeremy would have been there also. Maybe she did get drunk every night, but we don't know that.
Just because she was a dumb $@# on this night and did something stupid does not mean that she did not love Lisa. I think that is totally unfair to say that. We have no idea what these people's regular habits were or how they parented their children. One idiotic thing does not tell the whole story.

I have to say, too, that I became a first-time mom at the age of 40. I believe that helped me immensely in the kind of parent I was. But, had I been DB's age, I have to admit that I probably would have been sitting on a porch or two some nights. I was such a different person then. As it was, I never had a drink again after I adopted my little girl.

 

[norest4thewicked]

I don't think the one boy was ever in bed with her. I think it was the baby and the other boy.

She said yesterday on Dr. Phil that both boys were in bed with her that night. These are the things that make me believe what I do about DB.

 

[Donjeta]

Seriously? That person might not know anything about this. I've known younger people (the "type" to be out at that time of night) who wouldn't know if there was a murder next door. There are many people who are not tuned in to the news at all. No matter what it is.

Also, IIRC the gas station video came out some time after Lisa went missing. It could easily be that the person doesn't even recognize himself from the video if he didn't take enough notice to remember where he was the night Lisa disappeared.

 

[ExpectingUnicorns]

Yes I think it is a little harsh too. We are going based off one incident. This seems to be the first night Jeremy had ever worked a late shift. I got the impression that normally they were BOTH home in the evenings. Should DB have chosen that night to get drunk when there was no other adult around to take care of the children? Most assuredly NO. It was irresponsible. maybe her "adult time" on other nights meant that she had a couple glasses of wine after the kids went to bed, when Jeremy would have been there also. Maybe she did get drunk every night, but we don't know that.
Just because she was a dumb $@# on this night and did something stupid does not mean that she did not love Lisa. I think that is totally unfair to say that. We have no idea what these people's regular habits were or how they parented their children. One idiotic thing does not tell the whole story.

Hi melissasmom. :wave: I'm sorry if you misread or misunderstood my post. I said I believe that she does love Lisa. On this particular night she chose to put herself first. I questioned only her degree of love and her priorities. Who came first that night? Baby Lisa or Deborah?

 

[Jacie Estes]

Seriously? That person might not know anything about this. I've known younger people (the "type" to be out at that time of night) who wouldn't know if there was a murder next door. There are many people who are not tuned in to the news at all. No matter what it is.

I distinctly remember LE speaking with younger adults/teenagers on the lawn at the side of the house w/red shutters. I believe that people knew, even younger people; LE went door to door in that neighborhood.

 

[In da Middle]

I have to get something off my chest. It's about a lot of people on here saying what a horrible mother she was for putting her child in bed and not checking on her for all those hours.

I have a daughter who is almost 17 now. When she was an baby, I put her to bed at 6 p.m. and she woke up every morning at exactly 6 a.m. I NEVER once in all those months checked on her (after the age of 4 months when I took her out of her bassinet and let her sleep in her crib) throughout the night. This is coming from a fairly neurotic and overly protective first-time mom who cared for her daughter VERY well. The main reason I didn't check on her was because I had a baby monitor always by my side - I could hear every single breath she made - but, also, she was an extremely light sleeper and had I gone in to check on her, she would have woken up.

I just don't understand why so many think she is a horrible mother for not checking on her child throughout the night. Was *I* a horrible mother? Hardly.

Same situation here. Kids were all light sleepers and if they were sleeping, there was no way I was going to take the chance of waking them up. Especially if I was ready to go to bed. They would have waken up and I would not have been able to go to bed like I was trying to do. NOOOO way!

 

[NFYIAMY]

I distinctly remember LE speaking with younger adults/teenagers on the lawn at the side of the house w/red shutters. I believe that people knew, even younger people; LE went door to door in that neighborhood.

And we live 1000+ miles away and even my 23 yr old son has asked me if I knew about this baby being missing. Truly this has captured a huge audience - and I'm sure created way more conversations in that local area. Could that person in the video not have heard a word about this? Possibly - but I tend to think the odds are much higher that whomever is in that video knows about it.

With that said.............I could be 100% wrong.

 

[Jacie Estes]

Cookies too??? Sheesh I have been out of the loop

Seriously I have a huge problem when people say "he/she" is innocent because they don't look like the type.

(coffee check, space heater check, milk for the cookies check, exercise video check, bikini nope.)

Or conversely, they are guilty because they do look the type. Wasn't Ted Bundy described as pleasant and charming? Look how that turned out.


I realize the cold thing is subjective; we live in South Dakota so anything above 30 is a heat wave. Bring a hoodie.

 

[In da Middle]

The flaw in this is that "every other night," your baby did not go missing. That is what would make this night stand out.

But that would be having to know ahead of time that she was going to go missing. She is being asked about a very routine thing that she would not have any reason to have to remember before hand. Hind sight is great. Too bad it doesn't happen before the fact.

 

[Dewey2Me1MoThyme]

time for yours' truly to take a break, have some we time with the DW and watch a movie. Please don't ask what I did today because I'll likely omit or rearrange the facts as they are. I'm going to turn off some of the lights, which may end up most of the lights, and relax.

Welcome back Cityslik and Hoppy, to all the rest, enjoy your day, it's been interesting hearing all the facts and theories played out. If I get an invitation to the dungeon in my absense, send me a list of things to pack. did someone mention cookies?

 

[melissasmom]

I have to say, too, that I became a first-time mom at the age of 40. I believe that helped me immensely in the kind of parent I was. But, had I been DB's age, I have to admit that I probably would have been sitting on a porch or two some nights. I was such a different person then. As it was, I never had a drink again after I adopted my little girl.

Nice post I understand what you are saying. As I said before, there was over
a decade beween what I call my first "batch" of children and my second "batch". lol
My parenting of the younger 2 is a lot different. I am calmer, more patient, a little more easy-going, etc. And other circumstances are different too like finances and such things. When I was younger I did want "mommy time". now I don't care, I am old and I just want to go to bed after dinner. lol
Congrats on becoming a first-time mommy over 40!

 

[Sherbie]

Sorry I haven't transcribed that segment of the show I promised earlier. Been trying to shake a rotten headache all afternoon. If you guys still want it tomorrow, I'll work on it and post it then.