I am 40s w/ kids, no grandkids.... and on charges for the A's I can't say an absolute yes or no because it depends what they've done. IF they had anything to do with the actual murder or disposal of the body, then I say charge them. For things that could have been to a large extent done out of denial, a desperate wish for Caylee to be alive and not murdered by her mother, I say don't charge them, they have suffered plenty.
I have heard so many people say what they would do under such circumstances but I really don't see how we can know for sure. We can say what we HOPE we would do. I don't think it is extremely unusual for victims families to go into various forms of denial including of things that they at one time suspected or accepted as fact. This can range from a variation on "speak no ill of the dead" where they are in denial about the victim's character and habits, all the way up to denying the death even when the body has been found and there's been a funeral.
Then there are examples where they get into denial about some aspect of the crime (for example it has happened that the relative of a victim is in denial that she was raped before being murdered -- even though the mother had seen the post mortem report and at first had "known" this was true, she later was absolutely convinced it had stated the rape happened after death. Probably just could not stand to think of the suffering. )
So I feel like, although the A's behavior has seemed bizarre and dishonest, because of contradicting previous statements etc., much of it could be from an inability to face the kind of suffering their beloved Caylee might have gone through if her mother turned on her and killed her.
And when the victim's family is also the perp's family, they have an additional burden. Surely there must be guilt that they did not somehow see it coming and stop it. and with the likely killer being their own child, that must make a sense of guilt for having raised such a person. That too must be very hard to accept. All of those things together would create a lot of pain. and the mind can play some amazing tricks when one is going through trauma and grief.
The different stages of grief overlap and come and go.... I have sometimes wondered if in a combination of the denial and the bargaining stage (which I think usually are mixed together anyway), Cindy might have thought how awful she would feel for having suspected Casey if she later turned out to be innocent....then felt guilty for suspecting and sort of "bargained" that if they would believe Casey to be innocent and Caylee was alive then Caylee would still be OK and would come home. Sort of like in the old cartoons when the character goes running off a cliff and is OK as long as they don't look down.
Thank heavens the remains were finally found and at least they have been able to believe Caylee is really gone. From there it is a matter of being able to look at the evidence and face what it means. It is a long process of grieving they have to go through. and a tragedy I hope NEVER to have to deal with in my family. I can say how I think I would react. But I can't know for sure how my mind might be affected by it, and how I might behave out of being so traumatized.
