Father abandons 9 children in Nebraska

[Vegas Bride]

I agree, better for him to do this than something much worse, however, I do hope that he gets himself snipped also so he has no other children!

VB

 

[anoukaimee]

Well I hope there are more choices in life when you have problems than to drop your family off at the nearest hospital, or murder them. There are social services, relatives, friends, and family. There are churches, and crisis nurseries, and many other sources of help.

I very much agree. This guy just took the easy way out and should not get the protections afforded by the safe haven law.

It isn't whether or not these children would have been taken care of, regardless of the law. Of course a group of seven children left at a hospital would attract the attention of social services. The issue is whether this law now, because it was apparently poorly drafted to include children other than newborns, should allow this man to claim total immunity and anonymity after the fact. I don't think it should, either in fairness or as a matter of social policy. The fact is, this man is the parent of seven children; if he has a justifiable reason for abandoning them, let him explain it to the authorities. Basically, man up.

 

[txsvicki]

If the kids have grandparents who are suitable and willing, I have a feeling that there's going to be yet more grands raising grandkids. The state always tries to place kids with family because it's way cheaper for them.

 

[PrayersForMaura]

i feel sad for the man who did this.
My parents had a tough time raising the 6 of us and we lost our house, cars and everything. They stuck through it and we turned out ok for the most part but times were tough and we almost got taken away from our parents.

He must have had a good reason to do what he did and I would have to think that he's a good man with a conscience.

I am seeking more info about this, but this whole story makes me sad.
I pray for all of them ... the 9 kids and the father.

 

[MissieMt]

here is a link to a new story
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080926..._safe_haven;_ylt=ArS27aKdjsOY1STpYtw35TNH2ocA

 

[OrdinaryLife]

here is a link to a new story
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080926..._safe_haven;_ylt=ArS27aKdjsOY1STpYtw35TNH2ocA

My heart breaks for the man. He is not a slacker nor a person who just tossed his children aside. This man was lost and overwhelmed. He did not think of himself, but of the well being of his own.

I wish him strength and give him heartfelt hugs. He is not a bad person. Just a person who felt he had no other options. Truly breaks my heart for him and his own....

 

[PrayersForMaura]

here is a link to a new story
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080926..._safe_haven;_ylt=ArS27aKdjsOY1STpYtw35TNH2ocA

oh my Gosh, that story just broke my heart. And i thought my troubles were bad.

Especially these parts:
"
Staton said his wife died early last year, shortly after delivering their youngest child. He said he quit his job because of his family responsibilities but couldn't pay rent or utilities or take care of his kids.
"I was with her for 17 years, and then she was gone," he said of his late wife. "What was I going to do? We raised them together. I didn't think I could do it alone. I fell apart. I couldn't take care of them."
Staton said he surrendered them so they would be safe.
...
A 2007 interview with Staton's oldest daughter in Omaha North High School's student newspaper said she shouldered some of the parenting duties at home. Despite helping to feed her siblings, check their homework and put them to bed, the teen managed to graduate a year early."

 

[OkGrace]

His wife died last year, he was at the end of his rope......

I think he tried, hopefully this situation will be resolved happily, maybe he will be able to get some help somehow.

I raised two, it blows me away that he had nine.

 

[PattyCake]

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/26/national/main4480627.shtml

just another link about this man oh how sad

 

[jannuncutt]

God Bless this man and his family. I think that he did the best that he could do. He did not hurt his children. He put their well-being first. I am sure that he wishes that he could have done better but, apparently he could not. He loves his children. This is sad.

 

[GreenEyedGirl]

My heart breaks for this man. I really hope that the kids get through this and I hope they can keep them all together.

 

[Angels_Not_Forgotten]

its so easy for us to sit back and judge. for this man to have been a father for 17 years (to the oldest) and now dropping them off...this doesn't sound like a man that doesn't care...yes, there SHOULD be more options out there...but let me ask you this, have you ever tried to get government assistance? It really hurts the middle class who are struggling because the state says oh you can survive on crackers and water and wear potato sacks, we're gonna help those who can't/dont want to help themselves...who knows...the man may very well be depressed and want to end HIS life but didn't want his children to see it...all I can say is please think twice before you judge others, you will never truly know what goes on in someone else's life...

 

[RainbowsAndGumdrops]

This story reminds me how important it is to have life insurance on a stay at home mom.

I didn't read the last posted article, so I appologize if this was clarified. There are 2 ways the kids could have been left at the hospital. One is to just dump them there saying he couldn't take it anymore. The other way is to have explained to the children that he couldn't afford to take care of them and that there life would be too hard without the dad having a job. He may have explained to them that he wanted to stay in touch, but that he was doing it for their good. This really could have been done out of love for the kids in an attempt to give them something better.

 

[CaliKid]

its so easy for us to sit back and judge. for this man to have been a father for 17 years (to the oldest) and now dropping them off...this doesn't sound like a man that doesn't care...yes, there SHOULD be more options out there...but let me ask you this, have you ever tried to get government assistance? It really hurts the middle class who are struggling because the state says oh you can survive on crackers and water and wear potato sacks, we're gonna help those who can't/dont want to help themselves...who knows...the man may very well be depressed and want to end HIS life but didn't want his children to see it...all I can say is please think twice before you judge others, you will never truly know what goes on in someone else's life...

I have never had to rely on government assistance, but I know women who have. I suppose with the number of scammers around, it's only right that they have extremely strick guidelines and frequent re-checks, but it's like jumping through hoops.

I think there is also a definite double standard. A single women with children might find the requirements rigorous, but a man? He would be labeled a slacker, a bum, etc. for even applying.

 

[TheShadow]

The later news article said that he never asked his relatives for help before dropping the kids off. What's up with that? I know that it hurts a man's pride to say that he needs help, but family, friends, and church would probably have helped him in a heartbeat.

 

[MissieMt]

The later news article said that he never asked his relatives for help before dropping the kids off. What's up with that? I know that it hurts a man's pride to say that he needs help, but family, friends, and church would probably have helped him in a heartbeat.

I see where you are coming from but I wouldn't ask most of my family for help if I were in his situation. We don't know what type of family he comes from, we can only assume his family and friends would be able to help. But what if they would end up being more harm than good? I have a few relatives that would swoop in and "help"...by teaching my kids how to sell crack, or worse.
A church would only be able to offer temporary help, maybe he wanted a permanent one?
Either way, I'm happy these children are safe.

 

[OrdinaryLife]

The later news article said that he never asked his relatives for help before dropping the kids off. What's up with that? I know that it hurts a man's pride to say that he needs help, but family, friends, and church would probably have helped him in a heartbeat.

For the sake of argument (a healthy one, not a judgmental one), it is very possible that this was not about male pride. Not knowing the outside of his family dynamics, perhaps it was not an option. Perhaps he had asked for help, but family could/would only do what they could and it was not enough.

Just a statement here and not personally directed towards you.....

Many are so very quick to say there are friends, church, or family. It is truly not like that in real life. I'm finding that out personally and I do not have the concerns that this man has/had. For all we know he did reach out and many could only help to a certain point. It's not a long term fix. I think this father did the best he could and as a last resort, chose as he did for his family. I honestly do not see him as selfish, but as a parent who only wanted to do the best by his own. I cannot even imagine having to get to that point. It breaks my heart.

I hope days will shine brighter for all within this family...

 

[anoukaimee]

[/QUOTE]I think there is also a definite double standard. A single women with children might find the requirements rigorous, but a man? He would be labeled a slacker, a bum, etc. for even applying.[/QUOTE]

I hate to sound mean, but there seems to be a double standard HERE too: would we all feel the same way about a woman who had nine kids just dropping them off at the hospital like that? Some of us would feel sympathetic, certainly, but I think a lot more would be judging her wisdom in having nine--I think of how many people stigmatized the mythological "welfare queen" in the eighties. This man's wife died--she was ostensibly caring for the children--what if it had been a husband who died and left the wife with nine kids, and she abandoned them?

I feel really bad for this guy, too. He obviously needed help. The government should give more help, not less, for single parents, so that they can cope with their situations. The point is that this creates a really dangerous precedent where people who just don't want to deal w/ their teenagers can say "ok, take 'em," and get off scot free. Not right.

Here's something on the radio that was interesting:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=95157334

 

[gaia227]

This is a completely different scenario but still applies somewhat to the topic I think:

My grandmother had 7 brothers and sisters and her mother died during childbirth in 1927 when my grandma was 8. Her father was an alcoholic and he abandoned her and her siblings days after her mother died. He left one day and never came back leaving them to fend for themselves and care for a newborn baby. They lived on their own as orphans for over 2 years before anyone noticed. Her older siblings at 12, 13, 14 were able to find work - they were still starving but they had some income. They would go out at night and scavenge in trash cans for food.

If our gov't provided more assistance to families who needed it and social programs were designed to actually help people get on their feet instead of keeping them down then maybe this man would not have had to do this. Programs like welfare do help people but what really gets me is that the minute you go get a job and try to start rebuilding your life they shut off your benefits the minute you have any income coming in so a lot of people chose to not work and keep their welfare because in some cases they might actually be making more. Like medicare - I know a woman who had cancer and was getting medi-care to help pay for all of her meds and chemo and then her social security disability checks started coming and they were only $500 a month but medi-care immediately dropped her because she made too much money.....so she was left with cancer with no insurance. She died unneccessarily.

 

[anoukaimee]

This is a completely different scenario but still applies somewhat to the topic I think:

My grandmother had 7 brothers and sisters and her mother died during childbirth in 1927 when my grandma was 8. Her father was an alcoholic and he abandoned her and her siblings days after her mother died. He left one day and never came back leaving them to fend for themselves and care for a newborn baby. They lived on their own as orphans for over 2 years before anyone noticed. Her older siblings at 12, 13, 14 were able to find work - they were still starving but they had some income. They would go out at night and scavenge in trash cans for food.

If our gov't provided more assistance to families who needed it and social programs were designed to actually help people get on their feet instead of keeping them down then maybe this man would not have had to do this. Programs like welfare do help people but what really gets me is that the minute you go get a job and try to start rebuilding your life they shut off your benefits the minute you have any income coming in so a lot of people chose to not work and keep their welfare because in some cases they might actually be making more. Like medicare - I know a woman who had cancer and was getting medi-care to help pay for all of her meds and chemo and then her social security disability checks started coming and they were only $500 a month but medi-care immediately dropped her because she made too much money.....so she was left with cancer with no insurance. She died unneccessarily.

You said it! The system is broken... hopefully a new administration that actually cares about people instead of profits can do something to make things better, so parents aren't left with no options but the worst.