First Baptist Church of Crystal Springs, MS cancels minority wedding

[believe09]

My personal favorites are "but some of my best friends are..." fill in the blank.

I get that discussions of race, sexual orientation etc can be loaded. But I wish they didnt have to be. I dont think we should have to prove tolerance of one another-I think we should just be tolerant of one another.

In any case, I have a higher standard for clergy because they signed on to lead their flock.

 

[Nova]

To clarify my convoluted post, Nova-what I meant was I would expect that the pastor would have applied a "What would Jesus do" response to the situation.

I dont see that he did. I wasnt there, of course, but I dont see that he led his parishioners to their duty to this couple and society in general.

That's what I thought you meant, believe. And I emphatically agree!

 

[Nova]

Yes it does. Racism, sexism, ageism, classism, religiocentrism, homophobia still exist.

Too often we hear the preface of statements with---well I'm not a racist~ BUT "fill in the blank" or I'm not a sexist~ But "fill in the blank", or I'm not a homophobe~ But..."fill in the blank". It's not a crime to hold those opinons within our hearts, everyone is entitled to their own private opinions about anything but to act on those opinions in a way that it infringes on the rights of others or compromises their pursuit of happiness then it becomes a crime against humanity. JMHO.

It's all the same. Bigotry is bigotry is bigotry. Bigotry is simply: an intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself.

I'm sure this pastor would deny any bigotry but isn't it funny that we can't see our own blind spots? That we hold opinions that are bigoted and are able to find a way to justify and rationalize them? For example: it's always been this way, this is the way I was taught, my religion says this is wrong...

I know I am guilty of this at times and when I learn better I do better (angelou). This pastor needs a hard lesson in acceptance. But then again, don't we all? JMHO

Kat's remarks are worth repeating for their own sake. But they also lead me to wonder about those who complain so bitterly about so-called "political correctness".

Would it really be such a bad thing if racists kept their thoughts to themselves?

 

[Quiche]

I think bigotry is lazy,

I grew up hearing the nickname for every race/ethnicity on earth-- it wasn't until I was 11 or so that I realized they were derogatory and hateful. Now, what do I do with a head full of words that need to be trashed? I'll tell you what I did-- every time one of those monikers announced itself in my mind, I refused it utterance; every time, after I'd conquered saying them, I chastised myself for the thought even occurring to me; years later, when those terms had long been silenced and left alone, what becomes "fashionable"? The N-word. :banghead::banghead::banghead: ...and the door to locked chambers of language are opened every time I hear it, or anything like it. THIS is the harm in using/feeling/stating/sharing/living with the terms of hate that have influence far beyond the offender's original intent.

This pastor's weakness emboldens the wrong, pollutes the righteous, and he is the responsible party. (I'm sure the feedback he's getting will explain all the ways and why.)

Seriously, if an individual can't adjust their attitude toward others, then at least adhere to some agreed upon social manners (call it PC if you like, to me it's just common courtesy): bigotry and hate are like a verbal fart, it's rude, does NOT go unnoticed, and alters the atmosphere similarly.

 

[momtective]

Blech.
He can't have seriously thought that banning a minority wedding wouldn't cause controversy within the church or affect C and T's special day so he should just have done the right thing.

Have y'all looked at the church website? http://www.roc.fbccrystalsprings.org/rocphotos.html I'm not at all surprised by the attitude of the congregation...disappointed but not surprised. jmo
I believe this Pastor made the decision he made because the men with the "money", those who actually pay his salary; said "not NO but "*$&& NO!"

 

[Seek&Find]

Have y'all looked at the church website? http://www.roc.fbccrystalsprings.org/rocphotos.html I'm not at all surprised by the attitude of the congregation...disappointed but not surprised. jmo
I believe this Pastor made the decision he made because the men with the "money", those who actually pay his salary; said "not NO but "*$&& NO!"

It wasn't the whole congregation. Many weren't even aware this was happening until after the fact. See link and quote^^. It was a vocal few who need to examine their hearts and minds. I hope the scrutiny causes some reflection.

The groom seems gracious. I do think the pastor meant well, just didn't do well.

Wilson told the newspaper that he understands Weatherford was caught in a difficult position and he still likes the pastor, but he also thinks the pastor should have stood up to the members who didn't want the couple to marry in the church.

"It's not reflective of the spirit of the Lord and Mississippi Baptists," the Mississippi Baptist Convention executive director, the Rev. Jim Futral, said. "It's just a step backward. ... It's a sad thing."

link

Thankfully, it looks like other parishioners, the mayor, townsfolk, Baptist leaders and others are speaking out.

The vast majority of Crystal Springs residents, blacks and whites alike, were "blown away" by the church's decision, said Theresa Norwood, 48, who was born in Crystal Springs and has lived there her entire life.

While the Wilsons were not members of the church, they often attended services there, and Te'Andrea's uncle is an employee of the church, and her father is a member. Charles Wilson told WAPT that the couple had planned to join as members after their wedding, which was planned for July 20.

link

 

[Seek&Find]

Insiders say five or six members went to the Rev. Stan Weatherford after seeing the couple's wedding rehearsal the Thursday night before their Saturday wedding.

"If you're for Christ, you can't straddle the fence," Wilson said of Weatherford. "He knew it was wrong."

link

Crystal Springs Mayor Sally Garland said she is heartbroken about the church's decision and its potential ramifications on the community.

"I would hate for a few people to be a reflection of our whole town because it's not that way," she said. "We pride ourselves on unity. We don't want to be known for that."

Garland said although she's not sure who all had a hand in Weatherford's decision, townspeople and other First Baptist members say it's definitely a small minority.

"Maybe it's a wake-up call for people to say we're not standing for this," she said. "This is not OK. For us to be as successful of a place as I want it to be, we have to do it together."

more here, including community event

 

[Nova]

Since I am sometimes critical of Christians and their beliefs, I want to reiterate how surprised I am by this whole event. I don't for a moment think it represents "most" Christians, not even most Christians in Mississippi. (And as Seek points out, it may not even represent a majority of Weatherford's own congregation.)

I do think something weird has happened since the election of the current president. It's as if a racist minority has been emboldened by any and all criticism of this President and now feels free to express all sorts of racist bigotry. This is by no means the fault of those who exercise their constitutional right to criticize the President, nor am I saying that all such criticism is racially motivated.

But I am hearing and reading racist assertions that I have not heard since I was a kid in the segregated South.

 

[Seek&Find]

"When I first heard the story, I just thought it wasn't God," Wolfe said. "If you think there is one God, it doesn't matter what color you are."

"We're all God's children. There's no color," she said. "This is not the people's temple. They are in God's house. This is God's temple."

"This is not a reflection of our city," Garland said, referencing a passage from John 17: 'I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one - I in them and you in me - so that they may be brought to complete unity.'

Link

 

[Seek&Find]

I don't see it as politically related at all. The five or six church members were concerned with skin color, not political affiliation.

I think it's good so many of us are shocked, and I think those subjected to racism are more likely to cry foul and stand up for themselves, due to how far we've come. So what was the norm, is thankfully now so out of the ordinary, it's news.

We humans have a tendency to group and stereotype, to varying degrees. That won't end but we can certainly diminish it by looking at ourselves.

Racism & serving Jesus don't fit together well. This small group was very wrong, and I'm glad so many are saying so. All have sinned. Hoping this bitter few can let go of their hardheartedness and learn & grow. If not, they need to face church discipline.

Moo

 

[songline]

more here (2 pgs)

I wish I can say that I totally believe that pastor, but I don’t.
IF he had felt NO bigotry at all, he would have known how to handle it.

I hope the couple goes to court.
then the crap MAY shake out.
They better find another Church.

 

[michmi]

I would have loved for the pastor to hold an open meeting in the church (members, non-members, the press) to bring the issue out in the open and have the "small" group of people stand up proudly and tell everyone WHY they did not wish for this wedding to be held.

Bet they wouldn't utter a peep.

 

[Seek&Find]

From seeing the pastor on the video, and from the groom's comments, I think he was sincere. He strikes me as having a timid demeanor.

I do wish, when the handful said they'd never had a black couple married here, he'd have said, "Well then, it's about time we did!" winked and walked out of his office.

 

[believe09]

I suspect Pastor Weatherford will be relocated unless he steps up. This is a character building exercise for sure. I believe that he didnt know what to do and felt he had appeased both sides....I do believe that.

I am glad the church and the town are having a chance to have some dialogue now.

 

[hambirg]

Have y'all looked at the church website? http://www.roc.fbccrystalsprings.org/rocphotos.html I'm not at all surprised by the attitude of the congregation...disappointed but not surprised. jmo
I believe this Pastor made the decision he made because the men with the "money", those who actually pay his salary; said "not NO but "*$&& NO!"

I suspect you are right. It was my first inclination. Not knocking anybody, but organized religion is a business. . .and times are tough. I don't condone what this pastor did. . .but I understand his dilemma.

 

[believe09]

There has never been a black wedding at the First Baptist Church in Crystal Springs, Miss., since its founding in 1883. According to Pastor Stan Weatherford, some church members objected so strongly to breaking that precedent, they threatened to oust him from his pastorship.
Rather than risk his job, Weatherford, who is white, said he decided to marry the pair at a black church down the road.

If this is accurately reported, this pretty much closes the loop for me. I wish them all healing!!

link here

 

[FrayedKnot]

I was all set to play Devil's Advocate and share my story of being told by TWO churches that we couldn't have our wedding there because we were not members nor did we have family who were. (we were getting married in a different city from which we live), but I see that this church DOES allow non-members to have weddings there, so never mind.

That's just WRONG.

 

[sharkeyes]

What a spineless pastor! Hope those that caused the problem for this couple don't break their necks when they fall off their high horses....see ya in church!

 

[Nova]

I don't see it as politically related at all. The five or six church members were concerned with skin color, not political affiliation....

If racism isn't "political", what is it?

My point wasn't that the couple in question were banned from marrying at the church because they were presumed to support Barack Obama.

My point was that people who once kept their racist beliefs to themselves seem to conflate their own prejudices with all criticism of the President. And so even the fairest criticism of Obama seems to embolden them to openly display their racist hatred.

There's no question in my mind that such incidents have increased since 2008. Of course the bad economy is a factor (fear brings out the worst in folks), but it's hard not to see a connection between the first African-American president and a sudden increase in overt racism. IMO, obviously.

 

[Trident]

Racism is alive and well in 2012. My husband, born in Lompoc CA, and of Mexican heritage (although both of his parents were born here in the US, and his mom's mom was Caucasian) will tell you that.

And you would think that those experiencing racism would band together, but I was shocked to learn that Mexicans don't like Puerto Ricans don't like African Americans don't like Hispanics don't like darker/lighter (whatever they're not), etc., etc.

(I know I wrote it kind of funny up there, but that's just to illustrate the circuitous relationships between these different groups)

My husband was out mowing the lawn of his very nice house one day when a man pulled up and said, "Is the owner atLhome?", thinking, I suppose, that anyone who was Mexican must be a landscaper. My husband looked him right in the eye and said, "I AM the owner."

Yep. It's alive and well in 2012.

BBM I answered the door one day when I was eight months prego. It was my ex-hubby's uncle whom we were expecting. He asked me if my father was home, LOL, and that was my 6th kid. Sometimes I believe people just say weird stuff.

Other people wanted to hire my "Mexican" son to do yard work for them, and we're of Germanic heritage. Go figure.