FL - Girl arrested for hitting teacher...

[cynpat2000]

THis isn't always the case. I have a 5 yr old that has uncontrolable violent outburst, and he did NOT learn it from home. I have tried everything to rectify his behavior and so far with no luck. I can see how a mother could be at whits end and just say " I give up, I have tried, do what you must with this child"

I agree....I have a son whos 12 now but when he was 5 and younger he would have violent outbursts, I took him to a psychiatrist and hes bipolar. He just couldnt help it. hes on a pharmacy and has been for quite awhile but its worth it, because now he is under control.

 

[cynpat2000]

That's too bad. If the child is that disruptive, then she needs to be removed from the class. Its not fair to the teacher or the other children to have the constant drama that can be created during these situations.

true so true . my son whos bipolar and was having severe problems was put in special classes. but when there is a behavior problem the schools dont want to deal with it.even when they are mentally ill. they just want to suspend them and get them out of their hair. I had to fight tooth and nail to get my son in special classes. its not that easy. I was getting phone calls everyday! the schools nowadays think parents have all the answers and when there is a real problem with the child such as the case with my son, there are no easy answers. but thanks to my hard work he is now in special classes and doing just fine.

 

[jubie]

THis isn't always the case. I have a 5 yr old that has uncontrolable violent outburst, and he did NOT learn it from home. I have tried everything to rectify his behavior and so far with no luck. I can see how a mother could be at whits end and just say " I give up, I have tried, do what you must with this child"

:blowkiss:
I have a friend who knows your pain. The parents are happily married and two of their three kids are great but one has been 'odd' since he was very young. He hits and glares at other children and adults for no reason. When he was almost three yrs old his mum found two large kitchen knives under his bed. That was it, they were at the doctors office the same day. It's been a bumpy couple of years and I can tell you it's awful to see a child so un-happy.



Jubie

 

[Malapoo]

The girl herself claims to have been violent 15 times the previous year at school.

HBO had a special on a few years ago about violent children. One foster family really was devoted to this little boy who was just EVIL. I felt bad for him because he was in a lot of emotional pain, but he scared the hell out of me. I wouldn't have put up with what they did. The foster Mom sometimes had to literally lie on top of him to get him calmed and while that may sound awful to some, she was very verbally comforting the whole time and it was the only way she could "contain his body" to keep him from hurting her or himself. There were times he was distraught and tearful about "the way he was" and others when he was proud and boastful telling everyone including the film crew how he could kill them. They were working with doctors and medicine to try and get him more "level", but nothing was really doing much unless they basically made him a zombie.

 

[Mabel]

THis isn't always the case. I have a 5 yr old that has uncontrolable violent outburst, and he did NOT learn it from home. I have tried everything to rectify his behavior and so far with no luck. I can see how a mother could be at whits end and just say " I give up, I have tried, do what you must with this child"

The article doesn't say what steps the mother has taken in the past so, at this point, I agree that it's unfair to judge her. Mom might just be so totally tired and fed up that she doesn't know what to do anymore. How many times might she have been called out of work or on the way to an appointment because her daughter was misbehaving? Maybe she's trying to make a point to her daughter, that she will no longer jump every time the daughter acts up.

When my son was nine I got a call from a security guard at K Mart. It seems my son had helped himself to a pack of baseball cards. I was very surprised, especially since son was supposed to be visiting at his friend's house, no where near K Mart. Anyway, I went to the store to pick him up and told the Security Guard, with Jeff sitting there, that I was willing to take him home and discipline him this one time, but that if Jeff was ever caught shoplifting there again not to bother calling me; just take him straight to jail. Of course I didn't mean it, but I wanted Jeff to think I did. Maybe the mom is trying the same tactic.

Or, maybe she just doesn't care.

 

[OneLostGrl]

The girl herself claims to have been violent 15 times the previous year at school.

HBO had a special on a few years ago about violent children. One foster family really was devoted to this little boy who was just EVIL. I felt bad for him because he was in a lot of emotional pain, but he scared the hell out of me. I wouldn't have put up with what they did. The foster Mom sometimes had to literally lie on top of him to get him calmed and while that may sound awful to some, she was very verbally comforting the whole time and it was the only way she could "contain his body" to keep him from hurting her or himself. There were times he was distraught and tearful about "the way he was" and others when he was proud and boastful telling everyone including the film crew how he could kill them. They were working with doctors and medicine to try and get him more "level", but nothing was really doing much unless they basically made him a zombie.

Good for the mother! *That's* love!! And love is a huge part of what our troubled youth needs!

 

[OneLostGrl]

The article doesn't say what steps the mother has taken in the past so, at this point, I agree that it's unfair to judge her. Mom might just be so totally tired and fed up that she doesn't know what to do anymore. How many times might she have been called out of work or on the way to an appointment because her daughter was misbehaving? Maybe she's trying to make a point to her daughter, that she will no longer jump every time the daughter acts up.

When my son was nine I got a call from a security guard at K Mart. It seems my son had helped himself to a pack of baseball cards. I was very surprised, especially since son was supposed to be visiting at his friend's house, no where near K Mart. Anyway, I went to the store to pick him up and told the Security Guard, with Jeff sitting there, that I was willing to take him home and discipline him this one time, but that if Jeff was ever caught shoplifting there again not to bother calling me; just take him straight to jail. Of course I didn't mean it, but I wanted Jeff to think I did. Maybe the mom is trying the same tactic.

Or, maybe she just doesn't care.

Mabel-

I agree that sometimes as parents we need to give 'em a dose of "tough love" in order for them to learn right from wrong.

Our job is to prepare our children for the world.. to be a productive member of society and sometimes we have to give 'em harsh lessons if nothing else works!

I hope that is all this girls mother was doing but for some reason I doubt it.

 

[CyberLaw]

Too many parents do nothing or make excuses for their kids and or deflect any type of responsibility or personal responsibility and accountability.

So lets say: The school said: We need to help her, how about........

Then Mom rejects the idea.

If one of our kids was like this, if I was called many times, or had to go and pick him up, or whatever. Well the second time, I would do something about it, like get him the help he needs. It is not like it is going to get better.

But again, it is easier for the Mom to just ignore the problem and expect the school to co-parent the child. It seems like the parent resents the school calling them when the child is in trouble or causing trouble. When you send your kid to school, it is not like the child's behavior is now the school problem. You are deflecting your parental and personal responsibility. Then the school has to ignore the problem, as the parent will not take their calls. So why bother calling. The kid is now free to do what ever they want.

A problem ignored is a crisis invited.......

A parent was called many times about their child. He was a problem. The "stay at home Dad" "stormed" angry and screaming into the school and told them in no uncertain terms not to call him about his son. When he is at school "he is your problem", Dad shouts.

So when this kid was a problem, he was allowed to get away with it. I saw him "talking" and laughing during the National Anthem and all the teacher could do was "allow him to do this", as it is not the schools job to "parent" a kid at school, their job is to educate him/her.

I could not believe it, I asked the teacher why she allowed this with him and not the other kids. She said that his parents would not come and get him, not to call them, so she has no choice, as he will not listen to the principal and she cannot "discipline" him because that is the parents job and they don't see this or him as a problem. You point out a problem to a parent and they make excuses, and "blame" you for "finding" fault with their little darling. It is everyone elses fault, but not the parent or kid.

Our oldest was "out of control" at three. We took him to counselling and we went to. Because if you do nothing, the problem is not going to solve itself. It is not going to get better. If you try a solution and it does not work, then do not keep on doing the same thing, to see if it will work again when it has not in the past.

I held the door knob to his "bedroom" door from the outside closed, he pulled from the inside when he "refused" to go to bed after being tucked in. He just thought, I don't want to go to sleep. He was screaming he did not want to go to bed, let me out, you can't tell me what to do, I want to watch TV.

After several times putting him back to bed, this was the method we used. The door knob actually came loose. That was "an exhausting job", but it had to be done. He finally settled, fell asleep on the floor, we went in and put him to bed.

This happend several times, but he did learn that he was not in control of us, we were the parent. Finally when he learned that this method was not going to work, he stayed in bed when we put him there. We won.

 

[Jeana (DP)]

true so true . my son whos bipolar and was having severe problems was put in special classes. but when there is a behavior problem the schools dont want to deal with it.even when they are mentally ill. they just want to suspend them and get them out of their hair. I had to fight tooth and nail to get my son in special classes. its not that easy. I was getting phone calls everyday! the schools nowadays think parents have all the answers and when there is a real problem with the child such as the case with my son, there are no easy answers. but thanks to my hard work he is now in special classes and doing just fine.

He's very lucky to have you!!!! I applaud you for doing the right thing. My best wishes to you all for sucess in the future.

 

[Kymistry35]

I did not know they could diagnose very young children as bi-polar. My son see's a counselor, and like the foster parent in that HBO special, sometimes I have to wrap my arms and legs around him or wrap his own arms around him like a straight jacket to keep him from getting hurt until he wears himselfout and calms down. He is not always disruptive or "bad", most days he is a very loving child. My whole family has a history of mental health issues and behavioral problems, but none of my other children (I have 4 boys and a girl) seem to be affected.

 

[cynpat2000]

I did not know they could diagnose very young children as bi-polar. My son see's a counselor, and like the foster parent in that HBO special, sometimes I have to wrap my arms and legs around him or wrap his own arms around him like a straight jacket to keep him from getting hurt until he wears himselfout and calms down. He is not always disruptive or "bad", most days he is a very loving child. My whole family has a history of mental health issues and behavioral problems, but none of my other children (I have 4 boys and a girl) seem to be affected.

Yeah they can diagnose them real young as being bi-polar. Actually the symptoms are different in children than in adults. In children they are overly hyperactive, agressive, impulsive, saying a simple no to these children can trigger rage, among other things. Before my son was medicated I had to hold him down also. My son was 5 when he was diagnosed , in a hospital, this was after he tried to stab a classmate at school with scissors. So it can get bad.Think ADHD times 100...

 

[Malapoo]

I heard a parent on talk radio one day call in to complain that teachers were the ones who were supposed to teach kids about behavior & right & wrong. I wanted to crawl into my dashboard & smack him. He said most parents work and don't have time to "train" their kids.

 

[GlitchWizard]

I think you're right. They tend to emulate what they see at home. For instance, in my home striking another person isn't allowed EVER. That includes parents striking children. If its a routine part of their lives, they think nothing of doing it to others.

Maybe sometimes. I know I've NEVER disrespected anyone in front of my daughter, not even her. Somehow, she is extremely rude to my mother, and sometimes me - but it's never been "modeled" for her by me.

(And her father isn't around for her to see that he's rude.)

 

[Boyz_Mum]

I heard a parent on talk radio one day call in to complain that teachers were the ones who were supposed to teach kids about behavior & right & wrong. I wanted to crawl into my dashboard & smack him. He said most parents work and don't have time to "train" their kids.

I do believe that this is a common sentiment among some parents these days. I have heard similar comments by parents in real life and it is so hard not to yell at them! I really know I could never be a teacher and be subject to this kind of parent- or the child that they didn't "train" at home! It is so sad...

 

[CyberLaw]

The school and teachers are "paid" to educate the child, the parents "are parents to "raise" the child into a responsible adult.

The schools' mandate, so the "chagrin" of some parents is not to co-parent kids, the school are not their parents and are not responsible for the behavior of the children if the parents 'do not train" their kids.

MY Gawd.........

 

[cynpat2000]

The school and teachers are "paid" to educate the child, the parents "are parents to "raise" the child into a responsible adult.

The schools' mandate, so the "chagrin" of some parents is not to co-parent kids, the school are not their parents and are not responsible for the behavior of the children if the parents 'do not train" their kids.

MY Gawd.........

True, but special needs children have special needs and many have behavior problems that the parents have no control over.And if they are going to be special needs teachers they MUST be aware of this and be educated themselves on how to deal with these types of children.Like the little girl in this case, Im not condoning her behavior ,but some children are mentally ill and act out. Parents cant be blamed all the time.

 

[SadieMae]

I heard a parent on talk radio one day call in to complain that teachers were the ones who were supposed to teach kids about behavior & right & wrong. I wanted to crawl into my dashboard & smack him. He said most parents work and don't have time to "train" their kids.

OMG!!! That makes me furious also!!! I raised my two as a single parent working a full time job. No teacher EVER had a problem with mine. At their parent/teacher conferences, the boys were always complimented on their excellent manners and behavior. Their training began way before they started school...when I was a single parent of toddlers, working a part time job, and completing my degree full time. I see those parents as just lazy and they put more importance on making a dollar than effort in raising their kids. I would be dead dog tired most days, but I still took time to play and read to mine.

Most teachers are also working parents, so why does that bozo think teachers should raise his kids also. Some people really shouldn't have kids!! :banghead: :banghead:

 

[cynpat2000]

I heard a parent on talk radio one day call in to complain that teachers were the ones who were supposed to teach kids about behavior & right & wrong. I wanted to crawl into my dashboard & smack him. He said most parents work and don't have time to "train" their kids.

I think parents do have responsibility to kids but so do teachers. Its when children get in large groups they learn how to get along and share and things of that nature.And the parents arent there the teacher is. I agree parents should show their children correct behavior, but so should the teacher. It works both ways.

 

[CyberLaw]

If a teacher does not show good behavior, then guess what it would easily and quickly get back to the school board. Our son had a "very strict" teacher, he was "molding" the kids to be more responsible and did not let anything slide. That was great, our son did not do his math homework, so instead of "fluffing" it off, he went to school at 7:30 a.m to get it done as he knew this "teacher" would not accept this.

One thing people do not understand, this child is a danger to all students, the teacher is there to teach, not to be assaulted. This child does not belong in a classroom, as her "actions" affect other kids. If the child is mentally ill, then get help, if the child cannot "learn" in a class then she needs to be seperated from others.

Teachers do not go into special ed to be assaulted. That is not in teachers college, and the sad part is this teacher cannot defend herself, she is victimized by a child. She is a target who cannot defend herself and she will keep on being a target, other children may "emulate" the girls behavior and then what, they all assault the teacher. The teacher will and is bullied by a child. The teacher cannot control this child and it seems like the Mom cannot also.

The child is responsible for her "reaction" and if that reaction is not appropriate, she needs to learn "life skills" because she will be let loose on society where she will hurt others and end up in Prison, or beat her kids when she gets angry.

This is just not about school it is about her reaction to anger and lashing out with violence.

 

[SewingDeb]

I think parents do have responsibility to kids but so do teachers. Its when children get in large groups they learn how to get along and share and things of that nature.And the parents arent there the teacher is. I agree parents should show their children correct behavior, but so should the teacher. It works both ways.

It has to work both ways to work at all. The student who was allowed to talk and laugh during the national anthem was not being served well by a teacher who basically threw her hands up because of the father's reaction to being called on other occaisions. She could have removed him from the classroom and had him sit in the principal's office rather than have the other children see him get away with it. He could be kept after school for infractions, etc. Calling the parent to come get them is not the only option.

Of course, with the little girl who had already assaulted so many times and the mother wouldn't come get her---the school had no choice but to call the police and hopefully DCF will now be involved and the girl may get the help she needs but most importantly the students and the teacher are safer without her in the school.