Fraud/Scam which led to a suicide-advice required if possible please

[The Grafter]

Im posting for a 60 yo friend from school who took his life on August 4 2-25.

'Matt' started an online 'relationship' in 2022 which led to him thinking he was going to be married eventually to this person.

Matt lived in New Zealand where he was born. 'Julie' was in the United States. Matt's mental health hadnt been right for a number of years. He was married with a just left home daughter. Matt was a potential groomers target waiting to happen, which it did. Julie made constant promises, always had 'feel good' stories of helping grandmother's overseas, children locally, animals etc etc. She slowly started to obtain small amounts of funds from Matt which we have found he transferred via Western Union. This led to larger amounts where he took on personal, unsecured loans to send to Julie.

Matts wife Trina came home from work early one afternoon to find a real estate agent putting up a For Sale sign in front of their home and Matt taking a photo of the sign and house in the background, obviously for Julie to see.

Matt and Trina were living under the same roof, but in affect separated.

These patterns continued and Matt was constantly plastering Julie's facebook account declaring his love to her and that they were getting married.

Matt left New Zealand in late July this year without disclosing to his wife, or daughter. He bought a one way ticket to London, UK. We believe he thought he could start a new life there with Julie as he had worked in the UK on and off since the 1990's and was familar. He was contacted by his wife once he landed, then discarded his phone, passport and other identifying documents. Fortunately he had failed to remove his NZ drivers licence.

Within 5 days of landing, Matt took his life by jumping off a 6 story building in London. Police disclosed he was spotted alone pacing in front of the building prior to ascending then jumping.

Matt's daughter in NZ (he had made her next of kin) was informed on his passing within two days. He was subsequently cremated and his Ashes returned to NZ.

Matts wife Trina has recently discovered Julie is a 78 yo living in Florida and has fraud history. She is aware I am on this site and seeking any advice to where we should take this? I think the local police in her area should be made aware with a view to investigating it further.

Would they take this case?

Would they care?

Its likely Julie has many Matt's on her books (shes likely a front person for others) and this is her 'career'.

Thank you very much in advance for reading this sad journey of what was once a very bright, reliable and thoroughly decent man.

 

[PromotedPawn]

It is worth filing a report with authorities in Florida, IMO. At minimum, it could put her on their radar.

Sorry for the loss of your friend.

 

[The Grafter]

It is worth filing a report with authorities in Florida, IMO. At minimum, it could put her on their radar.

Sorry for the loss of your friend.

Thank you for your kind thoughts.

I agree, the authorities should be notified.

 

[bluefantastic]

My condolences. Online, this kind of scam is called a “pig butchering” scam— you might consult r/scams on Reddit, which has a lot of people more experienced with this sort of thing

 

[The Grafter]

My condolences. Online, this kind of scam is called a “pig butchering” scam— you might consult r/scams on Reddit, which has a lot of people more experienced with this sort of thing

Thank you very much.

A new phrase Ive just learnt for the day

Much appreciated.

 

[thref23]

One of the easiest things you can do is simply to submit a report at https://tips.fbi.gov.

Reporting to local authorities in Florida can't hurt. My guess is that they will care, but will be limited in what they can do b/c jurisdiction, and also limited in what they want to do b/c budget.

 

[Coppertop15]

My condolences. Online, this kind of scam is called a “pig butchering” scam— you might consult r/scams on Reddit, which has a lot of people more experienced with this sort of thing

This one is more romance than pig. Pig butchering often has the victim "learning crypto" with an attractive person.
But this is so so so common.

The big problem is that the scammers are most definitely not from where they say they are from . Nigeria and Myanmar are two hotbeds for the romance scam. Often there's a whole team of scammers working, with hired or trafficked women to do the videos, although AI is coming up on that.
It's really hard to get your home town police to prosecute in, say, Cambodia. It's terrible too, because people hand over *everything*.

 

[3llecia]

Hi, I am sorry about your friend Matt. What a horrible, complicated situation. I feel very sorry for Trina and their children.

I would assume NZ’s foreign affairs department was involved in the police investigation in the UK and repatriating his remains. Are there any contacts there who could connect the family to authorities or legal assistance?

Local police probably don’t have jurisdiction over international fraud cases like this. This would likely need to involve federal/commonwealth and international agencies who regulate and enforce financial crime. Whoever issued the loans will be helpful, as financial institutions have fraud investigators in-house, and regulations/policies that aim to protect customers.

The complication may be that Trina and children are secondary victims in the romance scam.

Matt, the primary victim, would be assumed responsible for financial decisions that disadvantaged who he was legally married to (like unilateral sale of marital assets; debt). There’s limited chance of restorative justice for Trina or children, in that sense.

He would also be assumed responsible for his death by suicide if it was in non-suspicious circumstances.

Sadly, it could be possible (based on your information) that Matt took his life and/or fled NZ due to the shame and guilt of being victimised.

Matt could have had a strong case as a victim of a romance scam, and there’s many avenues he could have taken to recoup the lost money and fix the problems in his family.

But he may have also been unwilling to admit it after taking drastic risks and public declarations about his new relationship, especially if he is liable for debt/financial problems in NZ, and that mindset would reasonably explain the circumstances of his death to investigators.

There would need to be evidence that this was not so, like he was being coerced and threatened when taking out loans/selling the house/leaving NZ, or he tried to get support and help from a GP, mental health services, lawyers or authorities.

Communication between Matt and this person would be crucial evidence about his mindset. Is that accessible?

It sounds like he discovered the truth in the week he flew to the UK. Destroying and/or abandoning the phone and documents is a sign of suicidal intent.

It’s also a potential sign of trafficking though, if there’s anything that proves he met up with the people scamming him in the UK who took those items in order to gain control over him. Or if there’s any indication that someone else was with him the days leading up to when he died. Otherwise, is it the assumption that no one showed up in the UK, which unravelled the scam?

Can I ask how the 78 year old woman’s identity was discovered?

 

[The Grafter]

This one is more romance than pig. Pig butchering often has the victim "learning crypto" with an attractive person.
But this is so so so common.

The big problem is that the scammers are most definitely not from where they say they are from . Nigeria and Myanmar are two hotbeds for the romance scam. Often there's a whole team of scammers working, with hired or trafficked women to do the videos, although AI is coming up on that.
It's really hard to get your home town police to prosecute in, say, Cambodia. It's terrible too, because people hand over *everything*.

Yes for sure.

I guess this situation the transferring of funds via Western Union consistently to the same person has opened a window to identify at least a front or related offender.

We think they convinced him to meet in London (possibly to wring out the last bit of $$ from him), then when it became clear to him it was a fantasy, he took the ultimate step.

We would like to try and stop current and future Matt's if possible from going down a similar path hence wanting to notify authorities.

Thanks for your imput.

 

[Serononin]

My condolences. Online, this kind of scam is called a “pig butchering” scam— you might consult r/scams on Reddit, which has a lot of people more experienced with this sort of thing

Seconding this, r/Scams is a great resource

 

[The Grafter]

Hi, I am sorry about your friend Matt. What a horrible, complicated situation. I feel very sorry for Trina and their children.

I would assume NZ’s foreign affairs department was involved in the police investigation in the UK and repatriating his remains. Are there any contacts there who could connect the family to authorities or legal assistance?

Local police probably don’t have jurisdiction over international fraud cases like this. This would likely need to involve federal/commonwealth and international agencies who regulate and enforce financial crime. Whoever issued the loans will be helpful, as financial institutions have fraud investigators in-house, and regulations/policies that aim to protect customers.

The complication may be that Trina and children are secondary victims in the romance scam.

Matt, the primary victim, would be assumed responsible for financial decisions that disadvantaged who he was legally married to (like unilateral sale of marital assets; debt). There’s limited chance of restorative justice for Trina or children, in that sense.

He would also be assumed responsible for his death by suicide if it was in non-suspicious circumstances.

Sadly, it could be possible (based on your information) that Matt took his life and/or fled NZ due to the shame and guilt of being victimised.

Matt could have had a strong case as a victim of a romance scam, and there’s many avenues he could have taken to recoup the lost money and fix the problems in his family.

But he may have also been unwilling to admit it after taking drastic risks and public declarations about his new relationship, especially if he is liable for debt/financial problems in NZ, and that mindset would reasonably explain the circumstances of his death to investigators.

There would need to be evidence that this was not so, like he was being coerced and threatened when taking out loans/selling the house/leaving NZ, or he tried to get support and help from a GP, mental health services, lawyers or authorities.

Communication between Matt and this person would be crucial evidence about his mindset. Is that accessible?

It sounds like he discovered the truth in the week he flew to the UK. Destroying and/or abandoning the phone and documents is a sign of suicidal intent.

It’s also a potential sign of trafficking though, if there’s anything that proves he met up with the people scamming him in the UK who took those items in order to gain control over him. Or if there’s any indication that someone else was with him the days leading up to when he died. Otherwise, is it the assumption that no one showed up in the UK, which unravelled the scam?

Can I ask how the 78 year old woman’s identity was discovered?

Thank you so much for your kind words.

No, I worked with the Coroner and a London Funeral Director to arrange a cremation and his ashes sent back to his family. The cost was approx NZ$7000.

Very sad on his daughter being told at work her Dad had taken his life like that We laid him to rest 9 days ago, just over three months after he died.

I think his mental health issues slipped through the cracks. The system in NZ is broken sadly, the country is broke.

We are assuming he went there to 'meet' Julie, possibly 'she' took the last of lot of money for a ticket and them it dawned on him whats happened. Humiliation perhaps, possibly wanting to be a John Doe? His car his drove to his local airport in NZ has yet to be found. There were no notes.

The family are waiting for the toxicology report and death certificate to dig into his affairs further. That is due anytime.

His wife Trina is thinking exactly how you are, that possibly there was someone in London.

Trina has dug around using I believe an old Western Union receipt. She is fairly adamant this is the person involved. The photos used on social media to do the fishing we tracked to a porn star (28 y o) in NE US. I would suggest she is a victim.

 

[The Grafter]

One of the easiest things you can do is simply to submit a report at https://tips.fbi.gov.

Reporting to local authorities in Florida can't hurt. My guess is that they will care, but will be limited in what they can do b/c jurisdiction, and also limited in what they want to do b/c budget.

Thank you very much. It certainly wouldnt hurt.

 

[The Grafter]

Seconding this, r/Scams is a great resource

Thanks, will check it out.