General Discussion Thread #2

[Estelle]

A report from Reeva's friend, stated that Reeva told her that she thought OP was too possessive. I have also stated that he has shown examples of narcissistic behaviour. No one from afar can diagnose him with NPD but if you read this article and apply it to what we have been told about OP, you might understand what I have been getting at:

http://www.toddlertime.com/sam/79.htm

It is a long article so I have only chosen a small part of it. There are many other parts of this article which could apply to their relationship:

"The emotional and sexual exclusivity of his partner (a pillar in the temple of his uniqueness) must be both spatial and temporal. To satisfy the narcissist, the partner must be sexually and emotionally exclusive in both her past and her present. This sounds highly possessive - and it is. The narcissist shivers at the thought of his partner's past lovers and her exploits with them. He is even jealous of movie actors, whom his partner finds appealing.

This need not deteriorate into active, violent jealousy. In most cases, it is an insidious form of envy, which poisons the relationship through mutated forms of aggression.

The narcissist's possessiveness is geared to safeguard his self-imputed uniqueness. The partner's exclusivity enhances the narcissist's sensation of uniqueness. But why can't the narcissist be unique to his partner today as others have been to her in the past?"

 

[Carol70]

::

Unless the phone, for some reason, didn't have any bars in the bathroom and she wasn't able to call out on it. jmo

Unless the phones were off and in Oscars panic he grabbed them trying to call emergency, threw them down when realizing it may take too long to power them up or didn't even bother with them. I wonder if he called from a landline instead?

 

[Carol70]

Very important question here.

These witnesses who said they heard fighting for an hour and then gunshots. Did ANY of them call the police when they heard the gun shots and report this THEN? Or did their memories adjust to the new information.

This will be interesting too..did neighbours calls police or just estate management???

 

[natsound]

Oh absolutely...we cannot know for sure until such a time as the trial.

However, for now..I'm going to disregard what the medic reported she was wearing...it has been stated that she was covered in a towels and I'm sure since she was dead when they arrived, they wouldn't have pulled the towels off her and tried to resuscitate her. Botha stated she was wearing shorts and a vest. Either a sleeping outfit like above but also possibly what she was wearing for her yoga although I'm not sure about that , surely you work up some kind of sweat with yoga ( I don't do yoga so don't know) and she wouldn't climb into bed in her exercise clothes surely?? Anyhow, since Botha said a "vest", we can conclude at this time that it was a spaghetti type top and shorts, be it sleeping shorts or normal shorts( not below the knee type short, but anytype higher than mid thigh)

It's hot, it's summer...I agree that if it comes to light that she was wearing sweat pants, then this would absolutely be detrimental to his story. It would indicate that they were NOT sleeping and she was intending to leave. I would absolutely vouch for the fact that in this heat, she would not have been sleeping in sweats. Also, the fact that he felt the need to get the fan off the balcony indicates that it was needed in the room after he closed the door thereby telling us it was indeed a hot evening.

Also, no one has mentioned the fact that just because it has been mentioned that she was "dressed", this could be just simply alluding to the fact that she was not naked. People sleep in the nude too.

IMO, it's pretty simple. She was not dressed for bed. They never went to bed (RS didn't,
anyway), they argued, perhaps over Francois, OP went nuts. I will be very interested to learn why the cell phones were in a heap in the bathroom. Was she in there communicating with another man, and the entire shouting match took place in the bathroom? How long was she locked in the toilet, with OP on the other side, terrorizing her? Jus tsome thoughts.

 

[Carol70]

I think the pro are saving the motive for trial.I can almost see an ex getting on that stand and telling what she knows-he is not who everyone thinks he is!!

I also see another ex getting on the stand stating she was with him for a lot longer than ST and he had been nothing more than a gentleman and she never once thought her life may be in danger.of course, you can bet you arse the defence will be laying into ST stating that he practically broke up with her for Reeva. Woman scorned and all that...

 

[21merc7]

A report from Reeva's friend, stated that Reeva told her that she thought OP was too possessive. I have also stated that he has shown examples of narcissistic behaviour. No one from afar can diagnose him with NPD but if you read this article and apply it to what we have been told about OP, you might understand what I have been getting at:

http://www.toddlertime.com/sam/79.htm

It is a long article so I have only chosen a small part of it. There are many other parts of this article which could apply to their relationship:

"The emotional and sexual exclusivity of his partner (a pillar in the temple of his uniqueness) must be both spatial and temporal. To satisfy the narcissist, the partner must be sexually and emotionally exclusive in both her past and her present. This sounds highly possessive - and it is. The narcissist shivers at the thought of his partner's past lovers and her exploits with them. He is even jealous of movie actors, whom his partner finds appealing.

This need not deteriorate into active, violent jealousy. In most cases, it is an insidious form of envy, which poisons the relationship through mutated forms of aggression.

The narcissist's possessiveness is geared to safeguard his self-imputed uniqueness. The partner's exclusivity enhances the narcissist's sensation of uniqueness. But why can't the narcissist be unique to his partner today as others have been to her in the past?"

Ugh. I had a BF like that once. I thought it was simply immaturity and insecurity. He also liked to start arguments for no real reason. Needless to say, that didn't work for me. Never knew it was narcissism, but it sure makes sense!

 

[Carol70]

Piers Morgan tonight:

http://piersmorgan.blogs.cnn.com/20...-a-major-drinker-or-that-he-does-drink-a-lot/

Pistorius' friend on alcohol being banned as part of his bail: "I don't think that he is a major drinker, or that he does drink a lot"
On the heels of Friday's ruling that Oscar Pistorius could be released on bail, this evening "Piers Morgan Tonight" invites Kevin Lerena to share his reaction to some of the additional details coming out of the South African courtroom.

A close friend of the disgraced Paralympian, Lerena responded to learning that as part of Pistorius' agreement, he must abstain from drinking:

"He's a normal human being. We go out, we have fun," says the guest of his friend, a fellow South African. "As a person, he's never, ever, in my company, has alcohol changed his personality, or changed him as a person. Never around me has he ever changed in any way, when having alcohol in his system, at any time."

Noting that Lerena is confirming that Pistorius does drink, a detail that contradicts prior statement's by the sprinter's own attorney, Piers Morgan follows up:

"Would you say that the reality is he would have alcohol, just not to excess?"

"That's obviously something that he'd do in his private time, or his off time," says Lerena, of Pistorius drinking. "He's definitely not a person that goes out, and goes to clubs, and that type of thing. He's a very homely person that spends a lot of time with his friends, so, I don't think that he is a major drinker, or that he does drink a lot."

I actually saw a picture of him standing in his kitchen, looks like he is cooking lunch or some thing and there is a half bottle of wine on the counter, in front of him is half a glass of chilled water.

It would not surprise me if Reeva and him drank something that night. Maybe, she could have cooked him a romantic dinner, they drank wine together, she hands him her gift, it was valentines. Certainly does not indicate he was a violent alcoholic.

 

[21merc7]

I also see another ex getting on the stand stating she was with him for a lot longer than ST and he had been nothing more than a gentleman and she never once thought her life may be in danger.of course, you can bet you arse the defence will be laying into ST stating that he practically broke up with her for Reeva. Woman scorned and all that...

You know all the juicy stuff, lol. :crazy:

Seriously, I did not know who OP was until this case.

 

[Carol70]

I do have a little trouble with the neighbor saying she heard shots, then screaming, then shots. Did the 4 shots come 2 at a time? Doesn't seem plausible. Were more than 4 shots fired, and if so, why didn't attorneys allude to this?

Witness claimed she heard 6-8 shots. Only 4 were fired.
I speculate: screaming, 4 shots fired, screaming, 2-4 loud bangs ( that could sound like shots but could have been a solid cricket bat making contact with the bathroom door)

 

[whiterum]

Is that the long term on and off one, who is on until better pickings come along then she's off.
Sounds like someone willing to be treated like a doormat IMO (referring to the ex girlfriend who might be called by the defence )

 

[Carol70]

it has everything to do with the case! The media might try to depict this woman as a "nutter" but I also have grave concerns about his mental state myself. I stated in a previous post that it seems to have been a "moment of madness".

"The former wife of Dr Gerald Versfeld, who amputated Pistorius’ legs when Pistorius was a small boy, claimed to have known the Olympian since childhood.

She said he “obviously” suffered some form of mental breakdown and it was in the interests of justice he be seen by experts."

The woman's name was probably Annemarie Versfeld. Childhood history (which she could know about) is important as the "child is father to the man".

Even if his statement is true, I think some of his past and present actions show bizarre or abnormal behaviour. He should be also assessed for any suicidal tendencies. IMO he was a disaster waiting to happen.

If she really had grave concerns, she should have been a little more intellengent to go about this the right way, she clearly felt so strongly about this that she came over from the states to bring it up...however, mentioning that his mother came to her in a dream, arriving in court with her papers in a checkers bag etc etc perpetuates that she could be a nutter, instantaneously loosing any credibility what's so ever. She has wasted her time.

And I'm not at all dissing the dream/pychic factor thing.

 

[Estelle]

For the temporary relief of sexual prowess in males, irritability, exhaustion and lightheadedness. I wonder if this stuff can be addictive.

http://www.modernhomeopathicproducts.co.uk/Testis-Compositum-N

This link shows even more indications:

Indications: Disorders of male sexual function such as impotence, premature ejaculation, Peyronie's disease (penile induration), adi-positogenital syndrome and andropause and related disorders such as exhaustion, for metabolic support in males such as in di*abetes mellitus and osteomalacia (see below), damaged liver. Stimulation of regressive vicariation.

As soon as Roux mentioned Testis Compositum, I looked it up and immediately felt that his taking this herbal remedy while not banned might lead us to knowing more about OP and whether understanding his sexuality was relevant or not. I saw a red flag.

IMO mutual sexual satisfaction in a relationship is very important and it sounded to me so boring (only nine weeks into a relationship) that she would be doing yoga and he would be watching TV at 10pm as if to possibly avoid sex - not to say that he needed to tell us the details of that but it started me wondering if he was impotent - hence his feeling jealous and threatened by her many male admirers on Facebook if that is true and he did find their messages on her iPad that night which could be the case.

Reeva was an extremely beautiful woman going out with a younger man who is/was an icon in South Africa so was she really just a "handbag" to him to take out, show off and have pictures taken for the media? Was he capable of intimacy with her - sexually and emotionally? Or was it all just for show on his side but she needed more? And he pretended to friends and family that it was more? Maybe they had never had sex in the nine weeks they had known each other so he had bought the herbal remedy hoping it would work?

 

[21merc7]

Just watched the bit on The Today Show here.

They had a female prosecutor discussing the case. I was saddened about the Judge only issue being because of racial discrimination. I still live in my imaginary world where we are all one. I must say, there is a good bit of that in the U.S. but not to that extreme.

I was surprised when she said that it is not in OP's favor to have Judge only. Yes, they have seen it all and heard it all, just like here. However, I always thought a Judge would be better than a jury b/c you never know where a jury will go in their minds with tiny issues and of course feelings. I thought the Judges would be better as it must be based on case law and logic. In this case, I would see that as extremely positive!

There should be a video up as soon as they can publish it here:

http://www.today.com/

 

[Carol70]

A report from Reeva's friend, stated that Reeva told her that she thought OP was too possessive. I have also stated that he has shown examples of narcissistic behaviour. No one from afar can diagnose him with NPD but if you read this article and apply it to what we have been told about OP, you might understand what I have been getting at:

http://www.toddlertime.com/sam/79.htm

It is a long article so I have only chosen a small part of it. There are many other parts of this article which could apply to their relationship:

"The emotional and sexual exclusivity of his partner (a pillar in the temple of his uniqueness) must be both spatial and temporal. To satisfy the narcissist, the partner must be sexually and emotionally exclusive in both her past and her present. This sounds highly possessive - and it is. The narcissist shivers at the thought of his partner's past lovers and her exploits with them. He is even jealous of movie actors, whom his partner finds appealing.

This need not deteriorate into active, violent jealousy. In most cases, it is an insidious form of envy, which poisons the relationship through mutated forms of aggression.

The narcissist's possessiveness is geared to safeguard his self-imputed uniqueness. The partner's exclusivity enhances the narcissist's sensation of uniqueness. But why can't the narcissist be unique to his partner today as others have been to her in the past?"

And yet another friend of Reeva claimed that Reeva told her that if Oscar asked her to marry him, she would say yes!!

But I do hear you, I cannot jump to any conclusions about him being narcissist until I have heard the testimony from witnesses brought in for the prosecution or any others who may gibe interviews before then. Most witness testimony has been positive for Oscar so far but I'm sure in time, others will come forward. I absolutely disregard anything Mark Bachelour has to say (of the break legs incident) and I even imagine that the prosecution would be foolish to put him on the stand, the defense will rip him a new one.

 

[Carol70]

A narcissist like OP would diss anyone who does not give him unconditional love, worship and attention.

My dad and I don't have a good relationship but I know with certainty, that should I ever ,god forbid lol, need him, he would be right behind me.....I'm
sure I speak for thousands of people.

 

[natsound]

II

Witness claimed she heard 6-8 shots. Only 4 were fired.
I speculate: screaming, 4 shots fired, screaming, 2-4 loud bangs ( that could sound like shots but could have been a solid cricket bat making contact with the bathroom door)

I don't know much about bullet injuries (praise God), but I can't see RS screaming after being shot in the head. Will more bullet holes/shell casings be found in other rooms? Remains to be seen.

 

[Carol70]

IMO, it's pretty simple. She was not dressed for bed. They never went to bed (RS didn't,
anyway), they argued, perhaps over Francois, OP went nuts. I will be very interested to learn why the cell phones were in a heap in the bathroom. Was she in there communicating with another man, and the entire shouting match took place in the bathroom? How long was she locked in the toilet, with OP on the other side, terrorizing her? Jus tsome thoughts.

Lol...maybe

It would help to know loads where the neighbour witness resides in relation to the house, if they were indeed having this supposed screaming match in the bathroom and the witness's house was on the otherside of the house, meaning closest to his bedroom, with the door shut and blinds closed, she couldn't have heard as clearly than if she were to live on the side of the house where the bathroom is located with its open window. OP house is pretty large compared to standard homes.

 

[Carol70]

You know all the juicy stuff, lol. :crazy:

Seriously, I did not know who OP was until this case.

Haha lol...truth be told, neither did I. I knew who he was but was not a fan, didn't follow his sport etc etc.

 

[Estelle]

Ugh. I had a BF like that once. I thought it was simply immaturity and insecurity. He also liked to start arguments for no real reason. Needless to say, that didn't work for me. Never knew it was narcissism, but it sure makes sense!

I come from a family of narcissists so I know one now when I see one but I only learnt about NPD about 10 years ago. I have tried to have relationshps with narcissists in the past not knowing about it then and they were disastrous. Luckily I am not a narcissist myself but we all have a few traits of it so it depends on the degree.

 

[Carol70]

Is that the long term on and off one, who is on until better pickings come along then she's off.
Sounds like someone willing to be treated like a doormat IMO (referring to the ex girlfriend who might be called by the defence )

Lol yes, but I would go with that argument if it was established that Oscar was dating alot in between and they were not calling it off/on due to his lifestyle, he travels a lot, long distance relationships etc etc.