That was my main point - it comes down to what the wife wants to do. I will look for your previous posts, but I'm surprised that NY makes it so that the accused can prevent their spouse from testifying. All the case law I can find (Supreme Court cases) say that it is entirely up to the spouse.
The NY Statute is complex. It's not a blanket "you can't testify against your spouse if the defendant spouse says you can't." Instead, the Judge has to look at the situation. One situation given in case law is that if a spouse has knowledge that can lead to finding evidence hidden by the defendant or a body hidden by the defendant, they can testify because the action of hiding something from one's spouse and others is NOT protected under statute. It's only confidential communication. So, if your spouse and you are in a restaurant and your spouse says/does something publicly that's illegal, it's not protected. If you are at home and your spouse says, "Don't tell anyone" or the nature of the communication seems confidential, THEN it is protected. Oddly, in the same case, the fact that a husband brought home stolen goods and stored them in the house WAS protected and the wife could not testify. To me, that's bizarre, but that's case law in NY.
One big area of exception to one spouse being able to prohibit another spouse from testifying is, of course, a situation of domestic violence or where the spouse who wants to testify says they were in fear for their own life. NO exemption. Also doesn't apply if any other people were present when the communication happened (oral or written).
Fascinating differences between NY and some other states.
IMO. IANAL obviously.