How is This affecting you, your kids and your family?

[tlcya]

I appreciate your viewpoint okiedokietoo. However, we live in a scary world where these things happen and are covered heavily on television. I prefer to answer my kids questions about what they see and hear as they arise and as honestly as possible in an age appropriate way.

 

[Kat]

I have 3 teens at home and 2 children that are grown and gone.

The older 2 that are gone aren't even aware of KC or Caylee.

The youngest of my teens isn't interested in her alleged crimes but said today when she walked through the computer room---"hmmm justice is a'comin huh mom?" A statement made in reference to the trial and me reading on WS about it.

My two older teens at home (aged 16 and almost 18) haven't really followed closely but do watch the national news on their own and have made comments to me about this case. Their take on the defense strategy is that it's "ridiculous" and "worse than some b rated movie plot" . Their words not mine. They are only interested in the conclusion and to hear about her sentence.

 

[dkatiemom]

I have so much love and respect for the websleuths who are following this trial day to day. Your lives are affected daily by this trial, as is mine.

It is very emotionally draining for me, and I wanted to start a thread so that others can share or vent on how this is affecting their lives. <3

 

[krt]

It's not an appropriate subject for children IMO
-definitely not the details-

I for one do NOT watch ng or any other show or news channels in my son's presence as well as when he would come out into the sunroom I would turn the volume off of the live coverage. However he asked a specific question and I answered it as general as possible.......children NEED to be aware that there are bad people out there....."stranger danger"......and so on.....how I presented my answer to his question was appropriate in MHO.....to pretend or ignore a child's question is doing him/her a dis-service in my opinion.

 

[QueenD]

Gawd I can't stay away from this case. I don't want to do anything else but following this trial. Took the day off today to have a long week-end and what did I do stayed inside all day and watch the trial. I was hoping no trial tomorrow but I lost. Back at it @ 9am Saturday morning. It's driving me crazy.

 

[January.]

I'm very torn on this subject. My 3 year old baby girl saw Caylee's picture on TV, and she just loves other little girls, so she asked what her name was. I said that's Caylee, honey. She asked where Caylee lives. I told her she lives in Heaven with the angels. She's too smart for her own good, so I don't know why I was surprised when her next question was, "But did Caylee die mommy?" And this is where I hesitated. Which path do you go down? What is appropriate? I told her the truth. "Yes, Caylee did die." Which brought her next question, "But why did she die, Mommy?" Ack! I didn't know what to say so I started her on a new subject. But everytime she sees a picture of Caylee now, she points her out, "There's Caylee!"

 

[tlcya]

I'm very torn on this subject. My 3 year old baby girl saw Caylee's picture on TV, and she just loves other little girls, so she asked what her name was. I said that's Caylee, honey. She asked where Caylee lives. I told her she lives in Heaven with the angels. She's too smart for her own good, so I don't know why I was surprised when her next question was, "But did Caylee die mommy?" And this is where I hesitated. Which path do you go down? What is appropriate? I told her the truth. "Yes, Caylee did die." Which brought her next question, "But why did she die, Mommy?" Ack! I didn't know what to say so I started her on a new subject. But everytime she sees a picture of Caylee now, she points her out, "There's Caylee!"

"That's what everyone is trying to understand honey"

 

[January.]

I need to think quicker LOL

 

[bogeygal]

Have to say I'm blessed with Mr. Bogey & Son's support. As long as I give them a good dinner & clean clothes they give me free reign to do whatever I want!

They all know about little Caylee, and how much I care about justice for her sweet soul.

All three of my guys haven't fully formed an opinion. But as of late, I've caught Mr. Bogey watching Nancy Grace last night! That was a first!!!! He has his own mancave golf/tv room to himself. I sat with him & watched. He's slowly coming along to talk about the current trial. He likes to play devil's advocate, but at the end of the show, he was leaning toward KC's guilt.

My son's are just like him, they haven't formed an opinion. They are too busy with their lives at this time in their life. But they support what they call my hobby..

 

[Kavya01]

I am an older mommy who finally conceived at high cost and effort during "advanced maternal age"

My sons are 4 and 5. They have no idea about this case. I wouldn't know what to say. They are just starting to be interested in and be afraid of the mystery of death. I am a realist and all for demystification so encourage their thoughts and expressions, however, I could not bear to have them know yet of the bizarre violence in this world, and how unsafe and volatile the world truly can be.

So, I shield them from all this just yet, and we keep death discussions to the topic of a natural conclusion, not a violent one.

I weep about how Caylee and other children are forced to find out about violent endings first hand.
Just weep. And weep. In private, though.
And pray to Karma and the Universe to stop that!! and to keep all children safe!!

And squeeze my precious miracle children just a bit tighter.

My husband listens to me talk about the case. He does not watch or read or keep current, but knows how moved I am by it and lets me talk for my mental health And out of love he's a good man.

In the end, this all constantly keeps me aware to not take even a minute of life-in-peace for granted. Not even one.

 

[wallflower67]

This is work related, not family, but today I was talking to a patient about what medications he took. I had a medication list from the last time he was here and I said, "Is this list an accurate representation of the medications you take?" Seriously, I said it like that. Definitely have been watching too much court!

My step-daughter has only been living with us for a year, so she missed my initial obsession with this case in 2008. She's been polite, but she is looking at me a bit funny at times

 

[cluciano63]

I find myself watching and rooting for Tampa in the hockey game tonight...

(Rats, they just lost... )

 

[SailorMoon]

My family and kids are the same, I've followed cases and trials since they were born --was off on maternity leave and watched the Menendez brothers trial. It is kind of sad though, I tell my DD, or I attempt to tell my DD who is home for summer from college "something that happened in the Casey trial" and she will listen for a minute, she's well aware of it, but really no one to share it with other than ya'll!!

My work at work - yes that's suffering. Never seen 8 hours go by so quickly. I wonder if they notice that I type occasionally but basically just stare at monitor and mutter all day.

 

[Kitty Kat]

My kids are too young to understand. However, they have seen me watch the trial/hearing from day 1. Last week in WESH chat someone posted a youtube link to a video of caylee sitting in her high chair eating breakfast. My one (2 next week) year old daughter was sitting on my lap and kept pointing at caylee and saying "baybee." My 4 year old son said "who is that" I said that's Caylee, isn't she cute. He said "yea, can we go play with her sometime?" it broke my heart. All I could say to him is "no sweetie, she's way far away." What more can you say about it to a 4 year old.

 

[okiedokietoo]

I appreciate your viewpoint okiedokietoo. However, we live in a scary world where these things happen and are covered heavily on television. I prefer to answer my kids questions about what they see and hear as they arise and as honestly as possible in an age appropriate way.

Yes, I appreciate your viewpoint also, truly. Although, the television could be turned off when children are in the room. There are some things that children should not be subjected/exposed to. We, adults, need to tell children about "stranger danger" and what to do if they are approached by a stranger but re: ICA Trial, this isn't something that has happened to a family member of the child nor to a school friend nor a child that lives next door. Yes, I agree, in those circumstances the death of the child should be talked about with the child, in an age appropriate way. Because the child has been exposed to the death and it needs to be discussed. But the murder/death of Caylee doesn't apply as something that a child needs to be talked to about - I'm really adamant about this, being the responsible adults, how much effort does it take to not discuss this in front of children and/or turn the tv off when there is a child in the room if details about a dead 2 year old child, duct tape, trash bags etc are being talked about?
(this post re:children, not referring to teenagers nor young adults)

 

[Quiche]

My children are adults one of which is very close to KC's age-- he's been aware of her since this began, he finds her ugly to the core and is embarrassed she's of his generation.

Oh, and how does this affect them? At first a little concerned about the horrid details I was taking in, but gradually understanding, and now ultimately glad I have an interest outside of their business.

 

[Sleuth5]

Well, it's consumed my wife and I for the better part of three years. At this point, we feel obligated to watch the proceedings. She has more resistance than I do, so she won't get up at 5:30 to hear motions (I'm doing that!). She also has more sense, as you can see. From 2008 on, we used to talk about it nearly every day to and from the office (driving to work) in some respect or another. Then, there was the long wait for the trial, the occasional excitement of a doc dump, hoping for news, etc. So now it's here.

At this point, I want to see justice done, and I feel confident that will occur given that it is now in the courtroom. I'm reminding myself constantly that the jurors do not know what we do and probably never will. Fighting lots of frustration with JB. Nothing the rest of you don't already know well.

Oh, then there's the minor issue of not getting my work done because I'm so distracted! That has been a problem, I must admit. However, I feel like I'll just have to work the rest of my life around this for a while. Like many of you, I do not recall being so compelled to see a case like this through to the end -- but ICA can do that to anybody, I think, if they are willing to sit down and learn the whole, sordid tale. It is thoroughly unbelievable and maddening. Justice for Caylee!!!

 

[MaureenN]

It probably depends on the age of your children, their awareness level & your usual candor with them regarding the world. My kids (9yo &11yo now) would be more curious and imagine much worse things if I turned off the TV/computer when they came in & acted like there was something secret that I couldn't talk to them about. They know that there isn't any time in their lives when they've asked a question where I've told them 'You're too young to know the answer to that'. So, if I ever started doing that, they would definitely turn their fear & imaginations on to try to understand.

I think that, for me, the effect that this case is having on my kids has first been more of a questioning of my own parenting. I watch Casey lying & manipulating & wonder how she got there - what went wrong that she never developed a conscience? I hope that I don't make the same mistakes.

We had a niece living with us during her middle school years, about 10 years ago. She had a lot of neglect in her infancy & twisted parenting in her childhood overall. She was a pathological liar much like Casey, so I can see the shell-shock in Cindy, George & Lee. In my niece's case, I diagnosed the lying as a symptom of her reactive attachment disorder that she got in her broken childhood. But, in Casey's case, she didn't have (as far as I know) any attachment issues. But, maybe she did. Did Cindy suffer from PPD in Casey's infancy? Was George a detached parent?

Anyway, watching Casey makes me worried & determined to make sure that my kids are grounded in reality, responsibility, self-respect & respect for others.


BTW - my kids finally saw me looking at Casey stuff online today. I had mostly been doing it at work & after bedtime until today. They asked me about it. We used the opportunity to talk about it, about empathy for broken sad people in the world. About being careful. About being responsible, trustworthy human beings, etc.

From our brief convo, they are thinking/hoping that it was somehow an accident - maybe the mom (Casey) was drunk when it happened, was crazy & not aware of what she was doing, maybe it was an accident or maybe it really was a kidnapping & they'll find out the truth. My kids have a lot of empathy & I'm proud of them for that. They have much to teach me in life.

 

[GracieLu]

hmmmm, "how is this affecting you, your kids, and your family."

Back in 2008 when my little one was almost 4, my hubby and I didn't realize she was paying attention to Nancy Grace while we were watching. I would give her a "keep her busy fun activity" like coloring or barbie's in her playroom while NG was on and one day she saw a picture of Caylee on TV and asked if she could play with "Caylee" when they found her. We turned off NG after that (although I still watched late at night when all were sleeping). Now, at almost 7, she's seen her on TV briefly but hasn't said anything.

I work from home so this has been a long 2 weeks. I been playing catch up at night and today I almost passed out because I'm so tired but I'm going to continue, I'm here for Caylee!

Surprisingly this has brought my mom and I closer together. We've always had a pretty good relationship but now I feel like we've become friends. We talk every sidebar, lunch, and at night to recap.

The most significant way this has affected me is that I realize how short and precious life is more than ever! Im even surprised my little one isn't full of bruises from all the hugs and kisses I give her each day!

 

[Turnadot]

I mention this case to my husband sometimes. He has no interest though, but understands that I'm fascinated by this case and true crime, so he humours me. My 4 year old knows absolutely nothing about this case at all, and I don't discuss it with my husband if my son is in the room. If I'm watching on my laptop and he comes into the room, I close the top and tend to whatever he wants, or go and play with him, make him a snack, etc.

The only visible way it has affected my family is they have to eat sandwiches for dinner a couple of times a week.

It affects me emotionally to some degree, but not life shattering.