True fact: grieving parents learn to create their own little worlds. People were like, "How were you able to get up and talk at his funeral? Do those interviews? Be on that news show? etc. etc." You learn to do it because you learn how to fake being "normal." I could tell ANYONE about his death, describe all the events of that day-even what his body looked like as lividity started setting in-without blinking an eye. People around me were falling apart but I never cried as I spoke to them. It's because I honestly felt like I was living outside myself, just watching a movie. I could laugh, volunteer on my oldest son's field trips, sing Christmas carols, tell jokes, go listen to music with friends, etc. and put on a REAL good public image. I certainly played the public part well. At home, however, it was a different story. Sheer terror. My husband and I would stay up all night, unwilling to go to sleep because we were too depressed to wake up in the morning. We hated facing new days. We talked about different ways we could commit suicide-ways that would be quick and painless and not too messy to clean up. I honestly believe that the only reason we didn't is because we had a surviving son and, four months later, I got pregnant with our daughter. Her pregnancy pretty much saved our lives.
My point, and I do have one, is that the inner workings of a bereaved parent are strange. It's weird what we would react to and what we wouldn't. I could sit there and tell a total stranger about how it took the coroner 6 hours to get to the hospital, because I live in a small town and he was out hunting. And how, while I waited, I sat there and dabbled away at the tiny blood droplets. I could talk about that in a scientific way. But you look at me and tell me that it was "all part of God's plan" or that he was "in a better place" and I would absolutely go ballistic on you.
Sorry, I don't normally talk about these things but watching the families today just kind of brought some of that out. I wouldn't read too much into what they know or what their expressions were or how they said something or didn't say something (and I know you didn't, Rocket, so this wasn't aimed at you).
