IN - Nancy Dyer for child endangerment, Indianapolis, 2006

[JanetElaine]

Wow.... her father sounds like an awesome person. So glad he's not trying to defend her actions. I agree with everything the man said, and I hope the children will have a lot of good stuff coming yet. I also hope that Nancy can get her life straightened around... it isn't too late for her either.

 

[mfmangel1]

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070105/LOCAL1804/701050455

The children are with Ms. Dyer's father and stepmother. Turns out Damon is not autistic. The father and stepmother have already adopted Dyer's oldest child, a 15-year-old son. Two additional children live with their father in Florida. Dyer is pregnant with #6.

Interesting read.

Very interesting read!

Nancy Dyer is now pregnant with child number 6....Even though she was not able to care for her prior children.
The oldest has been adopted by his grandparents, the next two are being raised by their father.
Now she is giving up parental rights to Damon and Gabrielle. I thought the father of Damon and Gabrielle was on his way to take care of the children. Nancy states on her myspace acct. that she wanted the father to take care of them.Where is he now?
She also stated that she was willing to either keep child #6 away from the father of that child or give the child up to him to raise, depending on his decisions about certain things.
Does this woman have any emotional, loving, maternal connection with her children at all?
I have to wonder where her bio mom is.

AND this woman is the beneficiary to a $250,000.00 trust fund.
I HAVE to wonder how that came about!

 

[Amraann]

I read the article .... The father of Nancy is not sure the child is autistic.

But it should be noted that people from his generation would deny autisim because it had a certain stigma associated with it.
I am done defending her in light of recent articles and 5 children ...3 she does not have custody of.
I do question why ... if her father knew she was not capable... did he leave the children there??
Now he says he knew?? Spare me...
Anyone who leaves a child in a bad situation is just as guilty as the parent who caused it.

 

[txsvicki]

Her "detox" blog entry is about staying away from a relationship partner for 60 days to remove the addiction and to focus on strengthening the self and focusing on other positive aspects of life. It wasn't about detoxing from drugs.

Did anyone else catch that she is pregnant? Apparently by her boyfriend Richie who's been playing her and now wants to only be friends (she says she's been his ). She alternates between terminating her parental rights of the child she's carrying and letting Richie raise his son versus letting Richie walk away and seeing his son when the boy is 18. She seems defeated, betrayed and hurt by men (haven't we all been, though?), and self-absorbed. At 30 she's stuck in that adolescent stage where she's pondering relationships ad nausem. With children I think you have to grow up quick and stop all the philosophical nonsense and take care of your children and the business of life. That said, I remember how utterly exhausted I was in the early months of pregnancy. Add in an autistic toddler and another toddler sibling close in age. Factor in poor coping skills, depression, apathy, lack of support, and being in a new city. Mix in personality weaknesses and alcohol use (admitted) and you have a recipe for disaster.

I have no patience for women who get themselves on drugs when they have children. This woman has been a parent for 15 years already. When I was 30 I had a newborn born by C section, a toddler, 2 other kids, a husband who had just been disabled in an accident when I was 8 months pregnant. In fact, we both got out of the hospital on the same day and I had no help at all and was able to make it through it all without any neglect. Anyone with a brain could get their self straightened out and take care of their children. Now that I am still raising kids, grandkids due to drugs, I just hate to hear of even more grandparents having to take on the responsibility due to drugs.

 

[southcitymom]

I have no patience for women who get themselves on drugs when they have children. This woman has been a parent for 15 years already. When I was 30 I had a newborn born by C section, a toddler, 2 other kids, a husband who had just been disabled in an accident when I was 8 months pregnant. In fact, we both got out of the hospital on the same day and I had no help at all and was able to make it through it all without any neglect. Anyone with a brain could get their self straightened out and take care of their children. Now that I am still raising kids, grandkids due to drugs, I just hate to hear of even more grandparents having to take on the responsibility due to drugs.

Though I definitely understand your point of view, I need to weigh in. As a recovering drug addict who had many years clean, the birth of my second child found me scurrying back to heavy drug use for a number of reasons. Having children is extraordinarily stressful - oftentimes people given to using chemicals to relieve stress turn back to that coping mechanism during stressful times.

It's simple to say people who have a drug addiction problem shouldn't have children, but individuals have individual paths. I didn't start using after my first child was born and had no reason to believe I would after my second one was born. But I did - such is often the nature of addiction.

I have a bit of of a brain - I'm college-educated and have owned my own business for ten years - but I was absolutely unable to straighten myself out at that time in my life. In fact, I was convinced that I was a better mother on drugs than off them. Again, such is the nature of addiction and I do not expect anyone who hasn't personally struggled with drug addiction to "get" it.

There just aren't any simple black and white answers.

I am not trying to defend this woman. I don't even know if she is a drug addict though I have my suspicions! But I wanted to offer my perspective of a woman who "got herself on drugs when she had children."

 

[IndyLaw]

This was from Sunday's paper. Dyer gave an interview to the Indianapolis Star.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007701070440

And today she's changed her mind.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200770108040

 

[mfmangel1]

This was from Sunday's paper. Dyer gave an interview to the Indianapolis Star.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007701070440

And today she's changed her mind.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200770108040

Absolutely unbelievable!

I previously questioned where the father is that was supposedly on his way from Fla. to take care of his children. What has happened to him?

Dyer is thinking of no one, but herself. She thinks taking the children from loving relatives and throwing them into foster care is really best for the children?

I can not believe she is giving interviews and making statements such as
her life is over and that she will never have a decent job, etc....Oh poor me!

She states her children are her world. Right!!!! We can tell!!!! Not! :behindbar

GMAB! She needs to grow up!

I still wonder how she is the beneficiary of a $250,000.00 trust. Unreal!

 

[southcitymom]

I don't know much about social services/foster care. Can anyone explain to me why the kids need to go from their grandparents into the foster system in order for the mother to retain (or win back) custody?

 

[IndyLaw]

I don't know much about social services/foster care. Can anyone explain to me why the kids need to go from their grandparents into the foster system in order for the mother to retain (or win back) custody?

From what I understand, her father and stepmother all already licensed foster parents with the state. If Nancy were to have signed away her parental rights, her father and stepmother could either have retained the children as foster parents or chosen to adopt them. Without termination of parental rights and the mother's desire to fight to keep them, the children are wards of the state until a determination can be made. Since her father's health is a concern, they are unable to care for them. The article at the link below talks about Nancy's stepsister having flown here from Germany to adopt Damon and Gabrielle.

Another interesting quirk about this is that Nancy herself posted on several Indianapolis Star message boards over the past 48 hours to "explain" her position. Her stepsister has also posted. If you want to read these, click at the link at the bottom of each article. Each article has a different "comments" board. Nancy posted as "Rush to Judgment" and her stepsister posted as "Set Record Straight."

A most unusual situation, to say the least.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007701090377

 

[southcitymom]

From what I understand, her father and stepmother all already licensed foster parents with the state. If Nancy were to have signed away her parental rights, her father and stepmother could either have retained the children as foster parents or chosen to adopt them. Without termination of parental rights and the mother's desire to fight to keep them, the children are wards of the state until a determination can be made. Since her father's health is a concern, they are unable to care for them. The article at the link below talks about Nancy's stepsister having flown here from Germany to adopt Damon and Gabrielle.

Another interesting quirk about this is that Nancy herself posted on several Indianapolis Star message boards over the past 48 hours to "explain" her position. Her stepsister has also posted. If you want to read these, click at the link at the bottom of each article. Each article has a different "comments" board. Nancy posted as "Rush to Judgment" and her stepsister posted as "Set Record Straight."

A most unusual situation, to say the least.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007701090377

Thanks..it is a strange case.

 

[Amraann]

The Step sister is not defending her... However, the father of the children also posted and he is defending her.

 

[2sisters]

I hope she never sees the kids again. how would she like to sit in her own waste for days. I seriously doubt if the baby sat in something. The police I am sure know the difference between that and a diaper bursting with doodie.

 

[Bobbisangel]

I hope she never sees the kids again. how would she like to sit in her own waste for days. I seriously doubt if the baby sat in something. The police I am sure know the difference between that and a diaper bursting with doodie.

I hope that she never gets them back. Good grief...her oldest son lives with the grandparents....the next two kids live with their dad...these little ones should be adopted out and the baby taken away right after it is born.

If the state does give her a second chance they better stay right on top of her. They should make it part of her CPS plan to take parenting classes, living skills, and anything else that would teach her how to take care of her children and herself....clean a house...cook...etc. They should make house visits without calling first and on different days of the week....surprise visits. The state should be held accountable for keeping those kids safe if they give them back to her.

 

[IndyLaw]

The mother of a 3-year-old found wandering on I-465 was freed from Marion County Jail on Friday after someone posted her bond, records show.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070203/LOCAL/70203002

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/10922313/detail.html

 

[JanetElaine]

I hope that she never gets them back. Good grief...her oldest son lives with the grandparents....the next two kids live with their dad...these little ones should be adopted out and the baby taken away right after it is born.

Bobbisangel, with all due respect, but you put the kids living with their dad in the same sum-up of 'bad' places for kids to live. Bad as in, it's the mom's fault, I don't know, can't find the right words LOL. Hope you know what I mean, though. The two living with their father should be left out of the equation IMO, because they live with a parent, their father. I know of many kids who live with their father and their moms ain't bad moms at all. I also lived with my grandparents for a while when I was little and my mom picked up the pieces of life after an abusive husband, and she wasn't (and isn't) a bad mom at all. The kids living where they live isn't an indication IMO about how fit of a mother she is. I'm still not sure about this case.

 

[Kymistry35]

http://www.courttv.com/news/2007/0710/neglect_ap.html

"Dyer admitted in court before her bench trial was to start that she had been sleeping about 9 a.m. the day her son was found on the highway and that she knew the boy could get out of their apartment. She pleaded guilty to three of four counts against her of neglect of a dependent.
Prosecutor Carl Brizzi said his office would seek a two-year prison term for Dyer when she is sentenced Aug. 20. He said it was just happenstance that the boy was not hurt"

More at link

 

[cenasangel]

HANG ON........

First im the mother of a 5 year old Autistic boy with severe behaviour problems and social issues. He is an absconder and has escaped from his daycare center on several occasions. The finger of blame can only be pointed so far in this case. I'm not responsable for what goes on in his brain when he decides to have a violent episode, absconds from a fully inclosed yard or the bite marks and bruises that i'm forced to hide day after day. Id say neither is this lady ??. Maybe she was so overcome with caring for her son she simply had no time to do anything like house work or devote extra time to the other children ?? Maybe she was scared to ask for help and support because of fear she would be CONDEMMED or BLAMED for the boys behaviour or maybe she thought there was no point because no one would UNDERSTAND anyways. Maybe she did not have the funds to access the type of help he needed. At the end of the day noone knows what sort of a nightmore it is until your actually living so so please don't judge or condemm unless you are living it or have been there.

 

[SadieMae]

This child was only 3, and was neglected. It shouldn't make any difference how tired or overwhelmed she was, or if the child is autistic. The child's welfare and safety is her responsibility. If she couldn't handle it then she should have checked into other options or available help. There was NO excuse for the filth they found in her apartment. My Aunt raised 8 kids, all no more than 2 years apart. Her home was always spotless and she worked full time. 2 years is letting her off easy IMO, her child could have been killed. She should also never regain custody of them.

 

[cenasangel]

Well your allowed to say that.... your not living in my shoes or hers. You have no idea the burden and weight that carries.

On any regular day i can have 3-4 bite marks and bruises on my arms and legs. Thats just getting him dressed and fed in the mornings. He also has smashed up most of the furniture in his room plus other assorted items around the house. He also has tantrums last 5-6 hours which often does require being physicaly restrained so he does not hurt himself and his siblings.

Like i said maybe she did not have the funds to aquire help for him or maybe it was simply a case of help not being accessable to her. Support is very hard to find when your living in a situation like ours. Your constantly in fear of being blamed for behaviour and situations that is BEYOND anyones control. Theres to many people out there ready to condem but not enough to actually go lend support when it's needed.

p.s So am i to understand that i'm responsable everytime he escapes from daycare even though i'm physicaly not even there at the time ??

 

[Diamond]

Shouldn't he be supervised, especially since it's a known problem? I truly can imagine how difficult it would be, I'm not saying it's easy by any stretch. It's just that he can't help it (he wouldn't chose this if he had a choice), so the adults need to look out for him and make sure it doesn't happen.