Internet fury after customer describes on Facebook how salon owner 'made mom and her

[looneymama]

RSBM: I am the mother of a disabled adult. Some place would freeze before I had my husband come get my child- and went into that salon and had my hair done.



Acceptance of bad behavior continues the bad behavior.

I agree. You teach people how to treat you.

 

[gitana1]

I have a problem with her going back in- after sending child home, and allowing the child's hair to be cut outside. What message did that send to the child.... not a good one, imo. It may be her temperment is different- however- as parent, ( or a stranger for that matter) it is imperative to protect, stand up for, and be a positive role model for child/children- no matter how scary, difficult or uneasy a situation makes one feel.

Well, the kid is probably too young yet to receive a message. But I do agree with you. I think it is hard but important to speak up and speak out. But your post somehow suggested that the salon owner must not have been that rude or the mom wouldn't have gone back in. I was explaining how A does not necessarily equal B.

respectfully snipped by me

This is exactly what I am trying to say...I might not be doing a great job at it, but this is what I am trying to say.

Everyone should try to be more accepting of differences and work together. That means that it is not okay for me to walk around feeling like the world should revolve around me and my child because he has a disability. I can hope that people will be tolerant of whatever we are dealing with, but I also need to remember that everyone out there is going through something so I need to do my part to take them into consideration as well.

This goes both ways, why are people not seeing that? I think a lot of people here just want exactly this. They just want to meet somewhere in the middle. They aren't even talking about exactly in the middle. I don't think people are saying "keep those kids at home" I think they are saying that it is nice when people are mindful of those around them.

I know, this is not what this thread is about....I just think people are being attacked and shamed and they aren't trying to be intolerant, they are just asking for some tolerance in return. I think that is a fair request.

Because it doesnt make sense, respectfully. When someone can show me how this particular mother wasn't tolerant of the rights of others, then I think your point will be a logical one. But i heard nothing to indicate she just blithely ignored the screaming of her child or the potential discomfort of other patrons.

And again, if the suggestion your post makes is that the parents of an autistic child who may be prone to fits or outbursts is intolerant by bringing his child to public establishments, then please refer to my earlier post.

By your logic, this mom couldn't bring her kid anywhere for fear she would not be tolerant of the rights of others because you could have a kid at a kiddie hair salon who is traumatized by noise.

That makes little sense to me. Instead, the reaction to the unexpected or the uncomfortable, by those with the power to change the situation, is what's important. And again, no report indicates this mom reacted badly or didn't try to rectify the situatiOn.

 

[momrids6]

Well, the kid is probably too young yet to receive a message. But I do agree with you. I think it is hard but important to speak up and speak out. But your post somehow suggested that the salon owner must not have been that rude or the mom wouldn't have gone back in. I was explaining how A does not necessarily equal B.

It was certainly was not my intention to imply somehow that the owner was not "that rude". The mother "embraced" the behavior of the owner- however bad / rude it was/was not (I wasn't there). She sent a clear message to both her child and the other patrons that it was acceptable to treat someone in that fashion.

 

[looneymama]

Well, the kid is probably too young yet to receive a message. But I do agree with you. I think it is hard but important to speak up and speak out. But your post somehow suggested that the salon owner must not have been that rude or the mom wouldn't have gone back in. I was explaining how A does not necessarily equal B.



Because it doesnt make sense, respectfully. When someone can show me how this particular mother wasn't tolerant of the rights of others, then I think your point will be a logical one. But i heard nothing to indicate she just blithely ignored the screaming of her child or the potential discomfort of other patrons.

And again, if the suggestion your post makes is that the parents of an autistic child who may be prone to fits or outbursts is intolerant by bringing his child to public establishments, then please refer to my earlier post.

By your logic, this mom couldn't bring her kid anywhere for fear she would not be tolerant of the rights of others because you could have a kid at a kiddie hair salon who is traumatized by noise.

That makes little sense to me. Instead, the reaction to the unexpected or the uncomfortable, by those with the power to change the situation, is what's important. And again, no report indicates this mom reacted badly or didn't try to rectify the situatiOn.

This is why I said that this is not what this thread is about. I wasn't talking about this mother. Like I said before, I do not think the woman who owned the salon reacted appropriately.

I was reacting to the people who were shaming the people who were asking for tolerance as well.

I am absolutely not saying that someone who brings their autistic child to public establishments is being intolerant. I wouldn't bring my son to a kiddie hair salon because it would be sensory overload for him. That's exactly what I am talking about. Like I mentioned before, it wouldn't be fair for me to go to an amusement park and ask them to turn off all of the lights and sounds, ask people to talk quietly and walk in single file lines because my son has sensory issues. I'm not talking about being uncomfortable here, I'm talking about having sensory overload, each noise making you feel like you are being physically attacked and movements scattering your brain so you can't think straight. I'm talking about feeling like you are being attacked and you are trapped. This is something that is common with autistic children as well. I have two cousins who are autistic and they deal with this as well.

What I am saying is that I do not expect the world to revolve around me and my son because he has sensory issues. I find quiet places for him to sit and "decompress" when he is feeling that way. I bring ear plugs when we go places in case it gets to be too much. I plan for down time and I try my best to avoid places that will cause things like this to happen.I understand that even though there is no one more important to me in this world than my children, there are other people out there who have their own lives. I understand that it is unfair for me to expect everyone to cater to my son's needs before their own or those of their children's. I understand that it would be unfair for me to expect everyone to be quiet for my son, because there might be a kid who needs to be loud at that moment. Kids need to be loud. All kids, not just kids with special needs. As a matter of fact, my kid with sensory issues is sometimes the loudest kid I know because he talks and sings constantly to block out sounds and keep himself from freaking out. That's one of the ways he tries to self soothe. Knowing that, if we were somewhere that people go to for a relaxing experience, if my son were to start his loud rapid fire non stop talking and pacing, I would leave out of respect for the other people in that establishment. It's not about keeping kids locked up at home, I take my kids everywhere with me. However, if there is a meltdown, we leave. Just because I have to deal with it, doesn't mean everyone else should.

This is so hard to explain. I'm not trying to be intolerant, I'm trying to look at this from a point of understanding towards everyone....not the woman who owns the salon who yelled at the child. That is never okay. I'm just trying to understand where everyone in this thread is coming from. I think they are being attacked and vilified and accused of saying these children should be locked up...just like I have just been accused of, and that is not the case. I know this is hard because you don't know me but I'm sitting here not even knowing how to explain how far from the truth that is. My son has special needs, autism runs in my family, I grew up with an autistic cousin, my friends have autistic children and children with other special needs. I would fight for anyone's rights to have chances to go out and do things. I would (and do) put myself out to make sure they are able to do so. My house is the safe house for my neighbor's son when his sister who has asperger's has a meltdown and turns violent towards her mother. I am the only adult who is willing to spend time with that sister who isn't related to her or being paid to do so. I dye her hair funky colors, I've taught her how to decorate cookies. I like her. She's sweet and witty, but she's also lonely and that makes my heart hurt. I just think everyone deserves empathy. Even "normal" people. It's not a black and white situation. Just because I believe one person deserves compassion it doesn't mean I think the other person should be locked in a cage. I think it goes both ways. It doesn't have to meet exactly in the middle, but it goes both ways.

I don't know how else to explain it. I mean well, I really do. I'm so empathetic it hurts. My husband tells me I can't let myself feel everyone elses pain...but I do. So if I'm still explaining this poorly and still sound like an evil person...I'm going to have to be okay with that.

 

[TheDuchess]

I don't know how else to explain it. I mean well, I really do. I'm so empathetic it hurts. My husband tells me I can't let myself feel everyone elses pain...but I do. So if I'm still explaining this poorly and still sound like an evil person...I'm going to have to be okay with that.

(Snipped by me) Thanks for your explanation and of course you aren't "evil." :truce:

That said, I would like to address a few specific things that have come up that specifically relate to this particular story (as opposed to the generalizes discussion.)

Returning to the salon to have her hair cut: I think this actually demonstrates just how sweet and considerate this young mother actually is. According to the original FB post, she apologized over and over through tears, told the owner the child was autistic and the owner said "I know that." The stylist was sweet and very embarrassed by the owner's treatment of the woman and child, which is why she followed them outside to finish the haircut. The mother had an appointment-a commitment, not just to the salon, but to the stylist. She kept her commitment regardless of how she was treated and the father took the child home to allow his wife the time to take care of her personal needs to have her hair done-sounds like a stand up guy.

The decision to take the child there: The child is only 2, which is young to be diagnosed with autism. I would imagine autism is very new to this family and they are just beginning to learn how best to navigate through the world with an autistic child. My sister-in-law took a long time to learn what her child can and cannot tolerate. Yes-they took them to church for a while and did the whole walking him outside when things went awry. Eventually, they went in 2 "shifts." Voila-problem solved, although attending church as a "family" was now out of the equation. When my brother passed away, she didn't have anyone to swap with, so she stopped attending church altogether.

Now-for a quick story unrelated to this particular story that illustrates the point many are trying to make:

When we visited the island of Molokai, Hawaii, we took a tour of the isolated peninsula where the lepers were sent. They were dropped off a boat and had to swim ashore. Father Damian was a priest who chose to go to the island to serve the people there, at his own peril. Not something most would want to do, understandably, but he did it anyway. The man who gave us the tour was an actual leper who had been cured, but had lost his parents and little sister to the disease before there was a cure. Father Damien built a church on the peninsula, which we got to visit. It was a small, simple, but beautiful little church. There were about 10 rows of pews on either side of the aisle, with windows all along both walls. The island breezes and floral scents wafted through the church and it was what you would imagine to be a very serene and spiritual setting.

When we looked down underneath the pews, there were slots cut out in the floor that went straight through to the ground. The tour guide explained the presence of those notches. While Father Damien would be saying mass inside the church he began to notice parishioners standing outside the windows listening to the mass. One day, he asked one of these "outside listeners" why they didn't come in and sit down and enjoy the mass with the others. The parishioner explained to him that in the later stages of leprosy, there is a lot of phlegm that builds up in the lungs and requires a lot of spitting. So as to not interfere with the mass and make others uncomfortable, they stood outside the windows.

Father Damien immediately carved the notches into the floors of the church, so that those parishioners could come in to enjoy the mass as a community, without the fear of offending others. His message was clear: as a community, we needed to accept others who may be different, or who may make us feel uncomfortable for no fault of their own, and we should take any steps we can to better accommodate them and make them feel welcome. It was a simple solution of an afternoon of carpentry and made a world of difference to people who simply wanted to be a part of the mass.

Father Damien is on the path to sainthood and rightfully so (he ended up contracting leprosy and died from it.) But his message wasn't that you needed to do what he did. He did what he did to spread the word and to show that even the smallest acts of kindness can go so far in this world. One doesn't need to be Catholic or even religious at all to understand and appreciate this message.

 

[my_tee_mouse]

respectfully snipped by me

This is exactly what I am trying to say...I might not be doing a great job at it, but this is what I am trying to say.

Everyone should try to be more accepting of differences and work together. That means that it is not okay for me to walk around feeling like the world should revolve around me and my child because he has a disability. I can hope that people will be tolerant of whatever we are dealing with, but I also need to remember that everyone out there is going through something so I need to do my part to take them into consideration as well.

This goes both ways, why are people not seeing that? I think a lot of people here just want exactly this. They just want to meet somewhere in the middle. They aren't even talking about exactly in the middle. I don't think people are saying "keep those kids at home" I think they are saying that it is nice when people are mindful of those around them.

I know, this is not what this thread is about....I just think people are being attacked and shamed and they aren't trying to be intolerant, they are just asking for some tolerance in return. I think that is a fair request.

Well I am seeing quite a bit of intolerance on this thread. I work with people with disabilities who want to get back into the workforce and work as much as they can. Their biggest barrier? The intolerance (which should be an anagram for ignorance) of others.

I do not see this mother expecting more than is fair for her child. If this were a mother sitting in the corner with her head stuck in her phone while her child ran wild through the salon, I could see the attitudes we are seeing here. But that is not the case in this situation. This child has autism. It is not a "behavioral problem." And this child seemed to be making far less of a scene than I see on any given visit to Walmart. Heck, I've seen plenty of adults make more of a scene in public than this child.

 

[my_tee_mouse]

It was certainly was not my intention to imply somehow that the owner was not "that rude". The mother "embraced" the behavior of the owner- however bad / rude it was/was not (I wasn't there). She sent a clear message to both her child and the other patrons that it was acceptable to treat someone in that fashion.

So it is up to the mother to change the behaviors/attitudes of the masses? I think not.

 

[BeginnersLuck]

I am so confused about this thread? Why we are we talking about rude, disrespectful parents who take their bratty kids to nice restaurants where they allow them to flail about, or entitled parents who take their children to what we feel are inappropriately adult-centric places like non-kid friendly movies, or swank dining or shopping venues, and then let their kids act like monsters and run around?

For the record, I get irked about that stuff. I do. When I pay money or have the scant time for a nice evening at a good movie or restaurant, I don't want to have to deal with screaming, tantruming kids whose parents won;t remove them. (In fact, I can;t stand the sound of angrily screaming children anywhere, really).

But again, that's not what this is about.

This is about a mother and child INVITED to get their hair done at a certain establishment. The salon ALLOWED the toddler to have his hair cut there and we all know toddlers often scream and cry and throw fits, whether they have a disability or not.

Then, after the haircut - which the salon AGREED to perform - began, the baby started crying. And then the mother and her toddler, according to an independent witness, were berated, yelled at and forced to go outside where the child was groomed like a dog.

Can you all tell me how that relates at all to the repeated stories about creepy parents who disrespect the rights of others? Because there is nothing, zilch, zip, nada, in that report, indicating that the mother just negligently sat there while her child screamed and flailed about, or helped herself to coffee or chatted on the phone while uncomfortable patrons suffered through the thrashings of her kid. So why are there so many dang posts that act like that's what happened?

Again, the salon invited the baby to come there, agreed to cut his hair and allowed the hair cut to occur. So how is this a parent bringing a child to an "inappropriately" adult venue?

We don;t know how the mother tried to calm her child or whether she picked him up and walked out right away to try not to disturb other patrons. The salon owner allowed the haircut to continue so clearly they wanted the money for it and if they were willing to take her money, then they should have treated her with kindness and understanding. And honey child, if they couldn't do that, they shouldn't be in a service-orientated business. Period.

Now maybe I am misunderstanding some of these posts. Maybe the message is not that the mother was rude, but that because some human beings with disabilities may act socially inappropriately (as if non-disabled people never do!), then these human beings should be kept at home because the rest of the people on the planet have rights that trump theirs, since how dare they disrupt anyone's peace.

If that's the case, excuse me while I puke.

I have to admit that it is that attitude that is one of the things that make our beautiful country not as perfect as it could be. I want to paint a picture of how things could be better:

My family is from Spain. My family is made up of a huge number of performers. They are Spanish Gypsies - those are the people who created Flamenco - and they are professional dancers, singers and guitarists. In the south of Spain where my family is from, Flamenco is a part of life. Weddings are three day affairs among Gypsies and I vividly remember being at one at which I really paid attention to just how many brilliant dancers and singers there were.

So picture a huge, ugly concrete warehouse. Massive. Just fulled to brimming with various, different groups of people, dressed to the nines, sitting in circles where they talked and sang and drank and ate and danced - all these different groups within this big group - and the best food, all the booze you can drink, all to fuel the most passionate, incredible artists ever assembled in one, vast room.

Now, these events are so incredible, that people try to crash them all the time. You keep seeing non-Gypsies trying to sneak in and being tossed out on their ears. (All the GYpsies are related so they are all invited). And the beauty of it, the artistry, among a population of people who entertain for a living or who don;t but who just bleed Flamenco - "They come out dancing". And you see just one phenomenal dancer after another get up, go into the center of the circles and dance as everyone claps out a rhythm for them and as the incredible singers sing and guitarists play and as people yell out, "Ole!" "Asa" "Toma ya!".

And then you watch as a tiny child gets up and starts to try to dance, moving her chubby little hands in time as the adults look on adoringly. Then comes the incredibly old lady who can barely stand, let alone dance. But she gets up. And she shuffles her little feet about and moves her hands ever so slightly. But she does it in perfect "compass"or timing and in her subtle movements, the echoes of mastery and a soul infused with the art, bleed out of her.

Then comes up a clearly, very intellectually disabled woman who begins dancing, moving her hips and skirt, trying to dance with the rhythm. And she somehow does. But no one would ever pay to watch this person "dance". In fact, I surmise that many would find it a gross display and want to avert their eyes.

But it's not gross and no one averts their eyes. And she is dancing and it IS flamenco. Because that is what Flamenco is - the group, the inclusion, the shared blood and cultural threads that connect every last person in that vast chamber, together, and their ancestors, for generations back. And when that disabled woman gets up to dance in that circle, they clap the rhythms just as beautifully, maybe even a bit more artfully, they yell out to her just as moved as they did when they saw a master dance and the guitarist and the singer, they play as remarkably as ever, if not just a bit more so. Because that woman, so disabled, is part of the fabric of who they all are.

You know, no one is segregated in Gypsy culture. For that matter, In Spanish culture in general, every human being, no matter their age, or condition, including the "lunatic"in the street, the gay guys who come flouncing in to the bar to dance, the babies, the elderly, the disabled, whatever. Everyone is at every party, and every local bar (yes, even babies and kids). Everyone is taken care of by family and by their community. No one is considered "too whatever" to participate in daily life.

I think we lack that here. We need our tidy suburbs with our jewel bright lawns and private back yards and large garages into which we drive our cars, entering our homes through the back door, not even saying hi to our neighbors. And to pay for that, there are no neighbors on the street to watch the kids play. Our babies are put in daycares and our elderly in retirement homes. Our disabled? Forget it. They have the home for the deaf, the blind, in some case and they even have segregated proms, I suppose so they don't disturb others with their odd behavior and loud noises.

When did we become such an uptight, lonely society? Why is this okay? Why can't people realize that the messy things in life, the messy people, the imperfections, the distractions and "disturbances", those things are exactly what makes us alive and what makes our lives full and rich and real?

What ever happened to society, community, inclusion, tolerance?

Something I've always wished for but have yet been able to find. I've have yet to find my fit. It's rather depressing to feel this way all your life.

Sorry O/T carry on....

 

[21merc7]

Has the mother or father of the child said anything about how they perceived the situation yet? It seems they were okay with whatever if mom went back in for her appointment. Sort of like asking 10 people that saw the car accident what they saw, and all 10 give a different version.

I don't know what happened. Just someone's perception.


I just know when DD was little, terrible 2's , 3's, and 4's, lol, we only went to family places. If she started crying I would rush outside with her, telling the first employee I saw along the way "Be right back, meltdown." That always worked for us.

DD now has a 2 year old and a 4 year old. When they go out, it is the same thing. Rarely to a restaurant, but if it is it is a family one, usually to the zoo or a park. That is just their thing. She will get up and take them outside if a meltdown starts. In fact, she says she will not take them many places because of meltdowns and how much she never liked being around them. Absolutely no flying until they reach no more meltdown age. Bravo to her I say.

I haven't been out to eat in years, I used to hate it due to the noise. Not from families - just noise. I can't take noise anymore, nor is there anything I want to go out for. I would rather make my own, and be happy in peace. I go to any stores during slow hours that I figured out for my area.

Guess the points of my rambling is take responsibility for yourself and your family, that is all that is expected of anyone. Don't expect others to do it for you, or to watch you or your child go crazy in public. Don't be surprised at how others react if you do.

The other point is, if the mother and father were not offended then it is no one else's problem. If they were okay with how things were handled, then they were okay with it.

I agree it sounds more about a 2 year old meltdown than about any special needs.

 

[gitana1]

This is why I said that this is not what this thread is about. I wasn't talking about this mother. Like I said before, I do not think the woman who owned the salon reacted appropriately.

I was reacting to the people who were shaming the people who were asking for tolerance as well.

Respectfully snipped for space.

I am certain you are not evil. I just don't find your post to be logical at all, or perhaps I am being thick headed here. if so, my apologies but right now I just don;t understand.

This is a thread about a little boy with autism who began crying during a haircut at a place he had been to before, and who, along with his mother, was yelled at and berated by the owner for his crying, even though the owner knew the child and knew he had autism.

An independent observer observed what happened, saw the mother and child leave the establishment as they were being yelled at, saw the stylist go outside with them to finish the kid's haircut on the lawn and saw the mom REPEATEDLY APOLOGIZING AND CRYING, and explaining that the boy had autism. The independent observer was horrified by the angry behavior of the salon owner.

How did this thread veer so far from that?


This is a thread about intolerance faced by people with disabilities and their parents. After people posted their sadness and outrage about the situation, a whole bunch of posts popped up about entitled, negligent parents who trample everyone else's rights to peace with their unruly, bratty or yes, even disabled children's behavior at places like restaurants, and upscale salons. Even though in this story, nothing has been reported to indicate that the TEARFUL AND APOLOGETIC mother in this case was rude, dismissive, neglectful or inappropriately hauling her disabled child around to adult-orientated locations, OR demanding that everyone accommodate her son's special needs. Remember, the salon invited the child there and knew about his condition beforehand as he had been there before!

Some people then posted, what some of us translate, in essence, to mean that so unpleasant is the behavior of the disabled, that they should be forced to get haircuts at home or essentially, not appear at public events where the rights of the normal people might be violated by their unpredictable behavior. When those posts were called out, you stated that it is also intolerant to criticize the intolerant, even though the situations you described, I think, do not apply here. Or at least that's as best as I can gather.

I don't follow that. First of all, it is not intolerant to call out intolerance. To say it another way, if someone said that black people were culturally louder than others and that person's rights not to be disturbed while out for an evening are violated if they have to share that evening in proximity to loud black people, well, that's ugly intolerance and calling that person out for their attitude is not intolerance. It's truth.

Second, it is not logical to use an analogy or example that doesn;t apply or relate at all to the situation being discussed. Anyone can express whatever opinion they want but if we are trying to understand each other's viewpoints, it is hard to do so if there isn;t a logical connection.

So here, saying, "Well, some people might have issues that make it difficult for them to deal with unruly kids whose parents are letting them cause scenes while out in public, and some people force others to bend to their every need and adapt and accommodate only their own needs, so even though that is not the situation here, I am going to use it to say that those who are shaming others for expressing distaste at the thought of kids with disabilities being out in public at places where they might disturb others with their unpredictable behavior, are also being intolerant", just doesn't make logical sense to me.

If the situation you describe is not the case here, then how can it be used to justify an intolerant attitude toward people with disabilities or their parents and how can it be used to criticize those who call out the intolerant attitude?

Again, it is not intolerance to call out intolerance. It's truth. Coming from a family who fought Nazi occupiers during WWII and who suffered executions and imprisonments and oppression for speaking out during
Franco dictatorship, I have a hard time with excusing intolerance, no matter how minor, or criticizing those who dare to speak out against it.

Has the mother or father of the child said anything about how they perceived the situation yet? It seems they were okay with whatever if mom went back in for her appointment. Sort of like asking 10 people that saw the car accident what they saw, and all 10 give a different version.

I don't know what happened. Just someone's perception.

I agree it sounds more about a 2 year old meltdown than about any special needs.

Respectfully snipped for space.

Again, nothing in the report suggests the mother didn't take responsibility for her child so I am surprised at what seems to me to be an angry or self-righteous assumption by some (not pinpointing you, friend), that that is what happened here, or a volley of multiple posts discussing dismissive parents of unruly children, when that's just not the context. To review:

According to Hunt’s post, she and a friend were visiting the salon to get manicures.

She said a toddler was crying while getting a haircut when she witnessed the owner of the salon, Michelle Mott, give the mother ‘a severe tongue lashing’ and tell her ‘how inappropriate her son's behavior was.’
The mother left with her son, followed by the hair stylist who was cutting the young boy's hair.
‘It was seriously painful to watch,’ Hunt wrote on Facebook.

‘At the conclusion of this woman's tantrum, the mother said through tears, “I'm so sorry, he's autistic.”
'I walked outside to see the hairstylist finishing the little boy's haircut on the lawn – The mom, still crying and cradling her precious son. We hugged her and cried with her too. It was so awful to see this.’

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-autistic-boy-haircut-OUTSIDE-goes-viral.html

I find it telling that someone unconnected to the mother perceived this event as horrible and discriminatory.

I also found it telling that this salon apparently had several reviews PRIOR to this incident in which the owner's mean and unprofessional behavior was discussed. So again, why are we automatically going to rude parents who don't care to control their unruly children at adult-centered locations scenarios?

As for it being just one person's perception, here's the moms' reaction:

Ashley Bays, 28, said she and her family are in shock about how they were treated by salon-owner Mott.
‘I’ve never experienced anything else like this before. I understand if she doesn’t want children in the salon, but she could have handled it a lot differently,’ Bays told MLive. ‘She could have pulled us to the side. She was very insensitive that he does have special needs.’

Bays said she has been a regular at the salon for many years and her been taking her son with her for the past 18 months.

‘This wasn’t the first time he acted that way at her salon and she was yelling at us the whole time (Saturday) in front of the staff and clientele,’ she Bays, whose husband, Josh, and their younger son, Wesley, were also present during the incident.


While Bays said she had not met Mott before Saturday, she said the stylist cutting Grayson's hair she had informed Mott previously that the boy has autism.
Bays said she apologized to Mott during the incident, telling her more than once that her son has autism.

‘When I told Michelle, “I'm sorry, he's autistic,” she said, “I know,"’ Bays said. ‘She confirmed to me she was aware.’

Bays said Mott ‘wouldn’t stop yelling.’

‘So I took that as we needed to leave,’ Bays said. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-autistic-boy-haircut-OUTSIDE-goes-viral.html

Frankly, I think the fact that some are quite willing to add facts to this story or automatically disbelieve the mom and the bystander's version of events, despite no evidence that they are incorrect or lying, and despite the fact that there were several complaints about this salon owner prior, may indicate of a lot of anger, feelings of entitlement and an unwillingness to put oneself in another person's shoes. Or maybe people just haven't read the article!! :blushing: Lol!

BTW, here are some previous reviews:

5/25/2012 I agree with other reviewers who have said to take your money elsewhere! I had a great facial at M Spa last summer, but that practioner moved on. I had one recently, though, and it was not good. The worst part of my experience, though, was my conversation with Michelle, a manager there. She was rude, she had NO interest in listening to my feedback, and ended our conversation by saying she was glad I wouldn't be back. This salon, and those who staff it, have a lot to learn.


2/17/2012
I will NEVER go to M Spa again. I got my hair done there about a year ago and the stylist told me to bring my 2 and a half year old daughter back to get her hair trimmed. I liked her so I made the appointment for a few days later. When we arrived I noticed the person behind the desk watching us. It was rude, like she was just waiting for my daughter to do something wrong. Sensing this, I tried to keep her occupied by showing her some hats on a rack. I put one on her so she could look in the mirror and the woman came flying out from behind the counter, ripped the hat off her head and scolded me in the rudest tone imaginable. "I don't think so. Those are for sale." She stomped away. I stood there shocked for a moment wondering how someone could treat a paying customer that way. I got so upset I walked out. To my amazement I later found out it had been the OWNER! Then it clicked because I had heard that she is a nightmare but I never thought that she'd treat a customer like that. I wouldn't go back to that place if you paid me to do so. I'm not paying anyone to treat me like dirt. Trust me on this and ask around. M Spa has a bad reputation for rudeness. Don't waste your time.

5/31/2013 I tried this Spa twice....hoping the first time was just an "off" day for them.The people in the reception area act like you are bothering them if you have any questions ( found out on the 2nd visit it was actually the owner who was working the desk and she was more rude than the girl that was there the first visit). Definitely overpriced for the service provided. Many other choices in the area.....

10/31/2011
I've been to M Spa a few times and am always disappointed. I came in for dual birthday appointments with a friend. We purposely scheduled them right when they opened so that we could get on with our day, and came in in comfy clothes, no makeup, hair pulled back (we were getting facials and massages). We were treated rather rudely at the front desk, taken back and given paperwork, and then left alone. The massage was okay; my masseuse was a tiny girl who couldn't put much power behind her strokes (and I'm not much bigger than she was). My facial left a lot to be desired. The room was FREEZING and I felt like I was in a doctor's office with the sterile white walls and floor tiles. The esthetician wore a white lab coat and messed with stuff on the counter while my masks were setting, then left for a really long time. I was so cold that I couldn't relax. We were given snide looks at the counter, especially after we explained that I would be paying for her facial and my massage, and she was paying for my facial.

I stopped back in on my way home from work a few weeks later to book another appointment. There were FOUR receptionists behind the desk, all looking bored (and none of them had their hair done, a big no-no in an upscale salon), and all of them ignored me until I said something. I said that I wanted to book a spa appointment, and wanted to know what they had open. The receptionist who apparently drew the short straw pointed at the spa menu and went back to clicking around the computer. I flipped through and picked out a few services, only to be told that each one was booked. Again, I asked if she would just tell me what they DID have open, and was told that they were all booked. I left and have never been back. I've heard a myriad of other bad experiences here, too, mostly dealing with the reception staff. There are a few other, better, spas in the area; take your business to a place that actually cares about its guests.http://www.yelp.com/biz/m-spa-portage

 

[Karmady]

I, too, am confused by this thread. What does autism and intolerance have to do with a screaming 2 yo getting his hair cut. The kid just happens to be autistic - per his mom, anyway (I honestly didn't know think they could diagnose so young), but LOTS of 2 yo's scream when they get a haircut. That's why there are 1000's of establishments that are specifically designed to cut kids' hair. They sit on fun chairs and watch cartoons or play games, etc. To me, this is a story about a woman who took her toddler to an establishment with an owner that is "intolerant" of crying children getting haircuts. Autism has nothing whatsoever to do with it, imo. Not sure how/why it got spun that way in the first place.

 

[Deleted member 96356]

I haven't had this mother's experience of raising an autistic child and I haven't walked in her shoes, so i won't judge her. But as someone who has been in business for herself I will ABSOLUTELY judge the salon owner for her conduct. Unacceptable and cruel.

Having said that, I can't help but think the child got lost in this mess. If the boy is autistic and thus prone to sensory overload, why take him to a busy spa salon with music playing, and one that apparently doesn't cater to kids and/or families? Why not book a stylist who is willing to cut his hair after hours, when it will be quieter for him? Or someone who will come to the house where he may be more comfortable?

The salon owner's reaction baffles me. The simple answer was to move him to a quieter spot, even the office. Yelling? At a child? Good lord.

But I do wonder how the mother planned to supervise and care for her two year old while she was getting a color and cut... that can take at least an hour. The whole story seems like there are a few pieces missing. JMO.

 

[gitana1]

I, too, am confused by this thread. What does autism and intolerance have to do with a screaming 2 yo getting his hair cut. The kid just happens to be autistic - per his mom, anyway (I honestly didn't know think they could diagnose so young), but LOTS of 2 yo's scream when they get a haircut. That's why there are 1000's of establishments that are specifically designed to cut kids' hair. They sit on fun chairs and watch cartoons or play games, etc. To me, this is a story about a woman who took her toddler to an establishment with an owner that is "intolerant" of crying children getting haircuts. Autism has nothing whatsoever to do with it, imo. Not sure how/why it got spun that way in the first place.

BBM. You know, I see your point! Based on earlier reviews, the owner is just rude, period. Not because a person is disabled - she doesn't discriminate - she;s rude across the board!

But I say to some degree because the mom had never met the owner before and she had taken her son to the salon before, without incident. So it;s not like she knowingly set her son up, which your post may imply.

I did find one salon therein portage that caters to kids: http://www.childfranchise.com/franc...ge?PHPSESSID=1f3e7de7f732ef550af8dc32ca6eebac

It looks super cute. Hopefully this mom can try it and it won't be sensory overload for him there. But I;m sure they are much more understanding at a place like that.

Though, you know, it is okay to take your kid to a regular barber or salon as long as they accept kids, like the one featured in this story did. People do it all the time, everyday. That may be easier for families who don;t have a lot of time when the parents needs cuts as well. I don;t think that's irresponsibility. No way could this mom have predicted an angry woman like the owner of M Spa Salon.

 

[21merc7]

Oh gitana, I was not putting this mom down at all. I was just responding to the in general stuff. I am so very unclear what this is about, I should have never responded at all!

 

[Karmady]

BBM. You know, I see your point! Based on earlier reviews, the owner is just rude, period. Not because a person is disabled - she doesn't discriminate - she;s rude across the board!

But I say to some degree because the mom had never met the owner before and she had taken her son to the salon before, without incident. So it;s not like she knowingly set her son up, which your post may imply.

I did find one salon therein portage that caters to kids: http://www.childfranchise.com/franc...ge?PHPSESSID=1f3e7de7f732ef550af8dc32ca6eebac

It looks super cute. Hopefully this mom can try it and it won't be sensory overload for him there. But I;m sure they are much more understanding at a place like that.

Though, you know, it is okay to take your kid to a regular barber or salon as long as they accept kids, like the one featured in this story did. People do it all the time, everyday. That may be easier for families who don;t have a lot of time when the parents needs cuts as well. I don;t think that's irresponsibility. No way could this mom have predicted an angry woman like the owner of M Spa Salon.

Sure it's okay to take your kid to a salon for a haircut if the salon is open to it. I can see that it might be more convenient and if it doesn't work out the first time, maybe not go back. I think mom said he was fine before, so no reason not to give it another go. I wasn't implying that she set him up. My point was, yes, just a rude owner and a tantruming toddler.

 

[gitana1]

I haven't had this mother's experience of raising an autistic child and I haven't walked in her shoes, so i won't judge her. But as someone who has been in business for herself I will ABSOLUTELY judge the salon owner for her conduct. Unacceptable and cruel.

Having said that, I can't help but think the child got lost in this mess. If the boy is autistic and thus prone to sensory overload, why take him to a busy spa salon with music playing, and one that apparently doesn't cater to kids and/or families? Why not book a stylist who is willing to cut his hair after hours, when it will be quieter for him? Or someone who will come to the house where he may be more comfortable?

The salon owner's reaction baffles me. The simple answer was to move him to a quieter spot, even the office. Yelling? At a child? Good lord.

But I do wonder how the mother planned to supervise and care for her two year old while she was getting a color and cut... that can take at least an hour. The whole story seems like there are a few pieces missing. JMO.

The whole family was there and dad ultimately took the kid home. According to the initial yelp review by the bystander, the child was crying but she couldn't even really hear it over the music. I don;t think the kid, or sensory overload or whatever is the problem here. I think it;s that the owner should not be in the service industry.

 

[gitana1]

Oh gitana, I was not putting this mom down at all. I was just responding to the in general stuff. I am so very unclear what this is about, I should have never responded at all!

I know you, so I figured as much! Don't worry. I was reacting to a number of posts and just used yours as a way to respond to the sentiment. I think I'm too wound up about the reaction here to the story! My apologies!:blushing:

 

[Deleted member 96356]

The whole family was there and dad ultimately took the kid home. According to the initial yelp review by the bystander, the child was crying but she couldn't even really hear it over the music. I don;t think the kid, or sensory overload or whatever is the problem here. I think it;s that the owner should not be in the service industry.

My bad, I thought I read that she had to call her husband to come get the kid and take him home. If the father was there during the whole episode it's probably good he didn't step in, god knows how much further the salon owner would have escalated.

BUT if the music was loud enough that you could barely hear a kid crying, I still wonder about the environment for him, even if he hadn't reacted before. Who knows, kids are different. This is just unfortunate all the way around.

Still can't imagine yelling at a customer, let alone one with a child, autistic or not. What's that owner thinking??? I guess she received enough business in the past to get away with shoddy behavior. Reminds me of a salon near me (minus the screaming)...

 

[looneymama]

I have no idea how thinking that everyone deserves compassion makes me an intolerant person. In our day to day lives we have absolutely no idea what other people are going through. I would never say that people with special needs deserve less compassion. I'm just saying that everybody has their own struggles. Everyone deserves compassion. My heart is in the right place. Maybe this wacky ADHD brain of mine can't seem to organize my thoughts enough to get these feelings out of my head and onto my computer screen in a way that adequately conveys my thoughts. I don't know...

gitana1, This thread evolved and went off topic. My posts were in response to other posts in the conversation. When taken out of context and applied to the original thread, my comments wont seem logical. I have been here for a while and I read a lot more than I post. We have followed many similar cases and I have a lot of respect for you. There are some people on here who seem to just "get" things in my opinion and really have great input when it comes to cases and to me, you are one of those people. When scanning through threads, if I see that you have posted, I slow down and take the time to read what you have to say. You have swayed my opinion on things many times. I'm not going to continue to try and explain what I am trying to say. I've obviously done a terrible job at that so far. I don't know how to explain that I am coming from a place with love and understanding in my heart towards everyone. Everything I'm saying is being misinterpreted and I don't want to waste anymore of your time or mine trying to explain myself. eace:

 

[gitana1]

I have no idea how thinking that everyone deserves compassion makes me an intolerant person. In our day to day lives we have absolutely no idea what other people are going through. I would never say that people with special needs deserve less compassion. I'm just saying that everybody has their own struggles. Everyone deserves compassion. My heart is in the right place. Maybe this wacky ADHD brain of mine can't seem to organize my thoughts enough to get these feelings out of my head and onto my computer screen in a way that adequately conveys my thoughts. I don't know...

gitana1, This thread evolved and went off topic. My posts were in response to other posts in the conversation. When taken out of context and applied to the original thread, my comments wont seem logical. I have been here for a while and I read a lot more than I post. We have followed many similar cases and I have a lot of respect for you. There are some people on here who seem to just "get" things in my opinion and really have great input when it comes to cases and to me, you are one of those people. When scanning through threads, if I see that you have posted, I slow down and take the time to read what you have to say. You have swayed my opinion on things many times. I'm not going to continue to try and explain what I am trying to say. I've obviously done a terrible job at that so far. I don't know how to explain that I am coming from a place with love and understanding in my heart towards everyone. Everything I'm saying is being misinterpreted and I don't want to waste anymore of your time or mine trying to explain myself. eace:

Hey, that's really sweet of you. Maybe I'm just overreacting! Both you and Merc have pointed out that indeed, you were responding to responses, not necessarily lecturing about this particular mom. That's totally fair and I should not jump all over posts so quickly. I think it is clear to me now that the thread just evolved into general discussions.

In my defense, I view people with intellectual or developmental disorders as precious jewels on earth, especially the kids. My dad used to have this theory that people aren't born with souls - they have to earn them. Except people born with those disorders. According to his theory they automatically received a soul at birth, just as pure of heart as can be. I understand his sentiment. I see such kids as among the most vulnerable and feel they need so much protection. And although I haven't walked in their parents' shoes, I have a pretty vivid imagination and I get this pang in my heart and swooping sensation in my stomach picturing how excruciating it would feel to hear or see someone be cruel or rude or whatever to the child such a parent spends every moment cherishing and worrying about. I'm sensitive about it so I guess I flew to their defense when perhaps there wasn't much of an attack from most!

Thanks for being patient with me, friends.