Jaycee's Bio dad

[songline]

I'd be really surprised if there isn't a backstory you don't know about. This whole thing screams of it.

And your posts scream of your own personal case.
therapists can read through the lines.

 

[RainbowsAndGumdrops]

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lan...jaycee-dugards-father-pleads-for-reunion.html
"Allred said Slayton wants to get in touch with Dugard or a family representative to arrange a private meeting and a confidential paternity test. If the family does not consent to the test, she said Slayton may take legal action."

I just searched this entire thread to find where the whole "DNA test or he'll sue" anger came from.

It came from Alred's statement, not the dad's. It also says that he wanted a confidential paternity test. Legal action doesn't just mean sueing her. If this is truely what he (bio-dad) wants, not just Allred talking, the court action could be a request for a paternity test to determine the parental rights etc.

If you were him, wouldn't you want a confidential DNA test to confirm? I would.

 

[LinasK]

I need to correct Jaycee's mother's name...I called her Susan in that last post. Her name is Terry. Sorry, I knew that! But, the abc news article that had the video with bio dad referred to her as Susan and that got me confused. Come to think of it, that is interesting that abc news referred to her by the wrong name. I wonder if that is their error or if Ken Slayton is referring to her by the wrong name? What a mess!



http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/state&id=7029846

No you are correct, I saw in another article her real name was Terry Susan Dugard, and for awhile she went by her middle name Susan.

 

[Stephens]

@RainbowsandGumdrops:

Good Lord. Who do you think hired Allred? She works for Slayton (i.e. she wouldn't be demanding a paternity test unless he wanted her to). And no, if I were him, I would not be demanding that a child who I chose to abandon* and who just escaped 18 years of captivity give me proof of my paternity. I would not be demanding anything, not even a "Hello" from her considering the hellish brutality she's been through and that, to her, I'd be a total stranger. Also: he has no parental rights since Dugard is no longer a child. You can't force your own grown children to do anything, let alone a grown child you didn't bother to raise.

*For the last time: he knew about Terry Probyn's pregnancy, she told him he was the father (in addition to another person telling him the baby looks like him), and he chose not to be involved. Only now is he claiming that he was trying to look for them, but that is seriously suspect considering he had basically 12 years and how he's been acting recently (read: like a man who doesn't care about Dugard's wellbeing). The FBI informed him that Probyn identified him as the father in '91 when the girl went missing. Don't you think if he had been actively searching for Dugard when she went missing he would have mentioned it by now? Of course he would have, but he didn't because he didn't do anything. All he has to show any tie to Dugard is some old photo of Terry Probyn. Not actions that show any concern for her, just an old photo of her mother. I don't doubt he's the biological father, but he's chosen time and time again to refuse being any hint of a parent to her.

You can't force a horse to drink, but boy am I tired of beating a dead one. I'm done with this.

 

[kbl8201]

NO, you DON'T know where Jaycee is coming from here. That's just it...NO ONE does, just like NO ONE knows where Ken is coming from here. I'm sorry for your situation, however, you can't possibly believe that your personal experience and Jaycee's experiences are comparable, do you? Mainly because you don't know the circumstances surrounding his uninvolvement in her childhood. TERRY MAY HAVE BEEN THE ONE THAT WANTED IT THAT WAY! Do you know for a fact that he was pursued for involvement or financial help for Jaycee but didn't comply? Do you? Until you can verify otherwise, it's kinda ridiculous to judge Mr. Slayton so harshly for simply putting himself out there to offer his help if/when it's necessary. It's not like Terry demonstrated the best decision making skills when she got pregnant with Jaycee to begin with. It was claimed, after all, to have only been a months long "fling". And if she didn't pursue any kind of paternity judgement against him, well I'm sorry, but that just speaks volumes to me. So how can you be so certain that she isn't responsible for his having been absent? Maybe she was in another relationship, too, and didn't want to be found out?

Maybe seeing things from an objective point of view might help you. Are you perfect? Have you never made a decision in your life that you regret? Mr. Slayton is not the criminal here, Nancy n Phil are. Aim your anger towards the people deserving of it. While his timing may not be the best, his heart is in the right place, he just wants to offer his help, to show that she has more love available to her. Not so bad in my book.

I'm not saying he couldn't have pushed for more rights where Jaycee, the little girl with no daddy, is involved. He could have. He should have been there for her. But he wasn't. I don't condone being a deadbeat dad and find it repulsive, but this situation is A LOT different than your average run of the mill paternity case. Now he has a second chance to try to make it right. To me, that is a miracle. And I don't think it's right to condemn this man just yet, without ALL of the FACTS. None of which you have. All you know is what you've been told, the same as me. Calm down already....

actually i do know where jaycee is coming from in regards to my father not seeing me for 30 years, that is not unfair comparison. and if my dad came into my life and "demanded" a paternity suit and a meeting, id tell him where to stick it. the point is, this is up to jaycee, not deadbeat bio dad............what part of that is so hard to grasp here? he wants to force her to do things his way........doesnt want to let her have time to heal. you just dont get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[songline]

@RainbowsandGumdrops:

Good Lord. Who do you think hired Allred? She works for Slayton (i.e. she wouldn't be demanding a paternity test unless he wanted her to). And no, if I were him, I would not be demanding that a child who I chose to abandon* and who just escaped 18 years of captivity give me proof of my paternity. I would not be demanding anything, not even a "Hello" from her considering the hellish brutality she's been through and that, to her, I'd be a total stranger. Also: he has no parental rights since Dugard is no longer a child. You can't force your own grown children to do anything, let alone a grown child you didn't bother to raise.

*For the last time: he knew about Terry Probyn's pregnancy, she told him he was the father (in addition to another person telling him the baby looks like him), and he chose not to be involved. Only now is he claiming that he was trying to look for them, but that is seriously suspect considering he had basically 12 years and how he's been acting recently (read: like a man who doesn't care about Dugard's wellbeing). The FBI informed him that Probyn identified him as the father in '91 when the girl went missing. Don't you think if he had been actively searching for Dugard when she went missing he would have mentioned it by now? Of course he would have, but he didn't because he didn't do anything. All he has to show any tie to Dugard is some old photo of Terry Probyn. Not actions that show any concern for her, just an old photo of her mother. I don't doubt he's the biological father, but he's chosen time and time again to refuse being any hint of a parent to her.

You can't force a horse to drink, but boy am I tired of beating a dead one. I'm done with this.

:blowkiss: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :blowkiss: Stephen, Great post.

RIGHT ON...A PERSON OF TRUE CHARACHTER ! ! ! ! ! !

Tell it like it is and keep on telling it. I am going away for a week.

And some here are truly making me ill. :sick:

 

[songline]

actually i do know where jaycee is coming from in regards to my father not seeing me for 30 years, that is not unfair comparison. and if my dad came into my life and "demanded" a paternity suit and a meeting, id tell him where to stick it.and you would be right the point is, this is up to Jaycee, not deadbeat bio dad............what part of that is so hard to grasp here? he wants to force her to do things his way........No different then the dad she just escaped; in some way,doesn't want to let her have time to healThat would require a heart..
you just don't get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some people do not want to get IT.
They just want to be right.
Boy do I get sick of the strokes. :sick:

 

[LillyRush]

No you are correct, I saw in another article her real name was Terry Susan Dugard, and for awhile she went by her middle name Susan.

Ah, thanks for clearing that up, Linask!

 

[Tizzle]

actually i do know where jaycee is coming from in regards to my father not seeing me for 30 years, that is not unfair comparison. and if my dad came into my life and "demanded" a paternity suit and a meeting, id tell him where to stick it. the point is, this is up to jaycee, not deadbeat bio dad............what part of that is so hard to grasp here? he wants to force her to do things his way........doesnt want to let her have time to heal. you just dont get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you know what the definitions of "force" and "demand" even are? Where are these demands you speak of? It was a REQUEST or an OFFER TO HELP, not the same as forcing or demanding....Dictionary.com Look it up. Also, I didn't say it was an unfair comparison, I said it is not a comparison at all.

 

[songline]

Do you know what the definitions of "force" and "demand" even are? Where are these demands you speak of? It was a REQUEST or an OFFER TO HELP, not the same as forcing or demanding....Dictionary.com Look it up. Also, I didn't say it was an unfair comparison, I said it is not a comparison at all.

Actually post #224 by Stephans is as clear as day.
If you don't subscribe to that kind of thinking, keep enabling people.
[ame="http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showpost.php?p=4206859&postcount=224"]Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community - View Single Post - Jaycee's Bio dad[/ame]

kbl8201 is right
He is inappropriate, insensitive, and unkind.
Good gesturs do not look like that. He is a voyeur of the worst kind.
He... like the public is curiouse and he wants a front row seat , :sick:
but he is supposd to be related not a voyeur. Kindness does not look like what he is doing at all.

Perhapes instead of telling her to look up words in the dictionary you can get a jump start by
looking up a few.
KINDNESS, GOOD GESTURE. They do not require lawyering up.

 

[Tizzle]

Actually post #224 by Stephans is as clear as day.
If you don't subscribe to that kind of thinking, keep enabling people.
Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community - View Single Post - Jaycee's Bio dad

That is a quote of someone's OPINON. Where are the links that verify it was Mr. Slayton's choice alone to be absent from Jaycee's childhood? Where are the links that verify he said he'd sue for DNA? Where are the links that verify he made "demands" or is "forcing" anything? You speak of these things, but have no evidence of them. I don't need links to posts on WS, I can find those all by myself. I am, however, having trouble finding the all these horrible Slayton deeds you speak of? Besides your version of how you think things happened, I need evidence of these things to believe he is no good.

 

[Tizzle]

:blowkiss: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :blowkiss: Stephen, Great post.

RIGHT ON...A PERSON OF TRUE CHARACHTER ! ! ! ! ! !

Tell it like it is and keep on telling it. I am going away for a week.

And some here are truly making me ill. :sick:

I also find it interesting that you are quick to praise someone for standing up and speaking out for what they believe in...as long as it's the same as what you believe. But when someone speaks out from a different point of view, they are wrong because it doesn't align with your way of seeing things. Very interesting. You learn that from all the conseling you've done?

 

[Tizzle]

I definitely know the definitions of KINDNESS and GOOD GESTURE. It's my understanding of those words that gives me the ability to view the world with an open mind.

 

[mysteriew]

NO, you DON'T know where Jaycee is coming from here. That's just it...NO ONE does, just like NO ONE knows where Ken is coming from here. I'm sorry for your situation, however, you can't possibly believe that your personal experience and Jaycee's experiences are comparable, do you? Mainly because you don't know the circumstances surrounding his uninvolvement in her childhood. TERRY MAY HAVE BEEN THE ONE THAT WANTED IT THAT WAY! Do you know for a fact that he was pursued for involvement or financial help for Jaycee but didn't comply? Do you? Until you can verify otherwise, it's kinda ridiculous to judge Mr. Slayton so harshly for simply putting himself out there to offer his help if/when it's necessary. It's not like Terry demonstrated the best decision making skills when she got pregnant with Jaycee to begin with. It was claimed, after all, to have only been a months long "fling". And if she didn't pursue any kind of paternity judgement against him, well I'm sorry, but that just speaks volumes to me. So how can you be so certain that she isn't responsible for his having been absent? Maybe she was in another relationship, too, and didn't want to be found out?

Maybe seeing things from an objective point of view might help you. Are you perfect? Have you never made a decision in your life that you regret? Mr. Slayton is not the criminal here, Nancy n Phil are. Aim your anger towards the people deserving of it. While his timing may not be the best, his heart is in the right place, he just wants to offer his help, to show that she has more love available to her. Not so bad in my book.

I'm not saying he couldn't have pushed for more rights where Jaycee, the little girl with no daddy, is involved. He could have. He should have been there for her. But he wasn't. I don't condone being a deadbeat dad and find it repulsive, but this situation is A LOT different than your average run of the mill paternity case. Now he has a second chance to try to make it right. To me, that is a miracle. And I don't think it's right to condemn this man just yet, without ALL of the FACTS. None of which you have. All you know is what you've been told, the same as me. Calm down already....

I always find it interesting when an alleged bio dad says that he would have seen his kid but the mother wouldn't let him. Then with a little probing you find out that paternity was never established. A paternity test can be requested by a prospective father. But if that test is positive they will usually be required to pay child support. That is why it is usually the mothers who end up requesting the test. If the mother doesn't request the test then the father doesn't, usually because they don't want to pay the support.

So the idea that it might have been because of the mother really doesn't apply here. He had the right to become her legal father and didn't take the steps to obtain it. Period. If he had established paternity and the mother still wouldn't let him see her, then he would have had a right to complain. But he didn't do that did he?

He may have changed at some point. But he had had 11 years to request the test and didn't. So 11 years go by and no test, but she becomes a hot media story and suddenly it is imperative that the test gets done immediately! No time to take care of the legal issues of declaring that she actually had daughters of her own that didn't legally exist. No time to get counseling to deal with the issues of her captivity. No time to get used to being an adult in a very different world than she was used to living in. No time to deal with the legal issues and preparation for prosecuting the G's. No time to think about supporting herself and her children, where they will live and all those other pesky details. NO it is imperative that she meets that long lost father, you know the one who didn't bother with becoming her father.

And let's not give her any choice in the matter. She is over 18 now and should have the legal right to make her own choices. But when she was with the G's, she didn't have a choice so she should be used to someone else making her choices for her. Why not the alleged bio dad? So no chance to catch her breath or make any choices on her own. (Sarcasm intended)

I don't know if alleged bio dad has the legal right to even take this to court. Maybe he does. But if he does, it is supposed to be in the best interest of the child. Namely the 29 year old child named Jaycee. The court could order the paternity test. But as an adult it still won't order visitation for her. And it could and should order back child support for Jaycee. That should help to establish an income for Jaycee and her children and help her to get a new start in life.

 

[songline]

I also find it interesting that you are quick to praise someone for standing up and speaking out for what they believe in...as long as it's the same as what you believe. But when someone speaks out from a different point of view, they are wrong because it doesn't align with your way of seeing things. Very interesting. You learn that from all the counseling you've done?

Counseling did teach me that the truth is always the truth and love is always love, and goodness is always goodness, an pure is always pure. and good character and fine principle do not sway, they too are always the same. Opinions may change, but not character.

There is not a white and black definition to kindness and self serving does not fall in the mix.
It would never include lawyer up, but it would include sensitivity to these times.
The truth is always the same it does not change.

IF it is kindness he had in mind, then he could have done thing without top dog lawyers on TV.
You do not need a lawyer to say I want to be in your life.
You just do the right things and maybe someone will want to be in your life.You send donations, you send a card that says when you are ready, you don't get a TOP DOG LAWYER and go on TV.
Especially after the first 11 years there is no hiring a cheep lawyer to find her.
HIS TIMING IS UGLY HIS METHOD IS UGLY and frankly he looks pretty bad too.
BEAUTY IS AS BEAUTY DOES.. nothing he has done shows kindness.

But then again some people are used to getting so little
that they stick up for a crumb. I do not care if you need to be right, and I sure do not care
if you have issues with me.
IF JC cares to know him for any reasoon even curiosity, it will not a relationship make.
But it will be on her terms, at her time. and he really need to go away now.
HER PLATE IS FULL AND HE WON'T BE A PRIORITY AT ALL. That I am certain.

 

[Tizzle]

I always find it interesting when an alleged bio dad says that he would have seen his kid but the mother wouldn't let him. Then with a little probing you find out that paternity was never established. A paternity test can be requested by a prospective father. But if that test is positive they will usually be required to pay child support. That is why it is usually the mothers who end up requesting the test. If the mother doesn't request the test then the father doesn't, usually because they don't want to pay the support.

So the idea that it might have been because of the mother really doesn't apply here. He had the right to become her legal father and didn't take the steps to obtain it. Period. If he had established paternity and the mother still wouldn't let him see her, then he would have had a right to complain. But he didn't do that did he?

He may have changed at some point. But he had had 11 years to request the test and didn't. So 11 years go by and no test, but she becomes a hot media story and suddenly it is imperative that the test gets done immediately! No time to take care of the legal issues of declaring that she actually had daughters of her own that didn't legally exist. No time to get counseling to deal with the issues of her captivity. No time to get used to being an adult in a very different world than she was used to living in. No time to deal with the legal issues and preparation for prosecuting the G's. No time to think about supporting herself and her children, where they will live and all those other pesky details. NO it is imperative that she meets that long lost father, you know the one who didn't bother with becoming her father.

And let's not give her any choice in the matter. She is over 18 now and should have the legal right to make her own choices. But when she was with the G's, she didn't have a choice so she should be used to someone else making her choices for her. Why not the alleged bio dad? So no chance to catch her breath or make any choices on her own. (Sarcasm intended)

I don't know if alleged bio dad has the legal right to even take this to court. Maybe he does. But if he does, it is supposed to be in the best interest of the child. Namely the 29 year old child named Jaycee. The court could order the paternity test. But as an adult it still won't order visitation for her. And it could and should order back child support for Jaycee. That should help to establish an income for Jaycee and her children and help her to get a new start in life.

1.DNA testing wasn't available then and 2. It isn't at all possible that Terry didn't want to be found? People can hide, ya know?
Also, where is it said that she isn't being given a choice? He said they would wait for her to call if and whenever she is ready. And I didn't hear anything about an immediate DNA test, I'm pretty sure he's willing to wait until she's ready for that, too. There was nothing about his voice or body language that said urgency. I saw regret, guilt and grief. But no urgency or pushing the issue. Did I miss something?

 

[mysteriew]

I would guess maybe for the benefit of his daughters?

If they don't get the chance to connect with their nieces now, the familial bond will likely never be forged, so it is kind of important. At this point in their lives the girls are connecting with their relatives on their mothers side as a blank slate, if some of those relatives are excluded, those bonds will be lost forever. They can't be formed later.

From the point of view of the girls, they carry no baggage from the past as far as family is concerned. There is no reason why Sarah and Britney should be treated differently from Shayna in that regard, they are all Jaycee's half sisters, and none of them had any prior relationship with the nieces.

From a legal point of view, however, the Slayton girls have no standing because there is no proof that their father is Jaycee's father, other than anecdotal accounts. That IMO is the reason for all of this. I would guess that Slayton has either been ignored by the Probyns or their representatives, or told to get lost. Jaycee probably hasn't been told about all of this and since she is being kept in isolation from external news sources she would have no other way of finding out about it. So, in that situation what is Slayton supposed to do? Just let any chance of him and/or his daughters connecting with Jaycee and the two girls slide, possibly forever? But, in order for him to get past the shield around Jaycee and the kids, and ask directly, he needs to prove that he is her real father. And that is why a paternity test would be needed. With that in place he would be able to appeal directly to Jaycee (since she is an adult and not subject to parental consent), and not her mother, who is likely not very sympathetic to him.

Interesting points. Which daughters is he so concerned about? His legal daughters or his alleged daughter? Their interests are not necessarily the same at this point. His legal daughters wish to meet their sister. I can see that. But does that take prescidence over his alleged daughters need for privacy at this time? Or her need for care and treatment?

As far as the viewpoint of the girls, Jaycee remembered her mother, her aunt and her sister. So when she met with them she wasn't meeting strangers. However, meeting up with the alleged bio dad means meeting another stranger. And even the siblings would be strangers to her. As far as the grandchildren, even if he proves paternity, that doesn't mean that he will establish an ongoing relationship to Jaycee. And if there is no ongoing relationship to Jaycee, likely there will be no relationship to the grandchildren. Remember the court cannot order visitation for an adult.

To push the issue through the media, and maybe the courts at this time in Jaycee's life he is more likely to ruin any chance he ever had of establishing a relationship with Jaycee and her daughters. Granted I am looking at this from a personal prospective only, but if it were me and I was being told that this person was insisting on meeting me, if I had no memory of ever meeting this person previously..... well I would probably find it frightening. Or it might make me angry. And neither emotion is a good one for establishing a relationship on.

If he really cared about any of his daughters and a future relationship, he might consider biding his time until she had had a chance to get on her feet a little, he might approach her through an intermediary, maybe through her attorney and quietly express an interest in meeting her. Offering her the choices and letting her set the time and method of meeting. That is the way to begin a relationship. Offering her the choice and letting her know how he could be reached if/when she was ready. Much less frightening and much calmer way to approach her.

 

[JBean]

Those of you getting personal on this thread need to stop please.
The topic is not about each other but the possible bio father trying to meet Jaycee.
Anyone that attacks personally on this thread will get a TO. If you have anything that should be edited please take care of it.
thanks.

ETA: the placement of this post is random so it has no bearing on anything.

 

[Tizzle]

Counseling did teach me that the truth is always the truth and love is always love, and goodness is always goodness, an pure is always pure. and good character and fine principle do not sway, they too are always the same. Opinions may change, but not character.

There is not a white and black definition to kindness and self serving does not fall in the mix.
It would never include lawyer up, but it would include sensitivity to these times.
The truth is always the same it does not change.

IF it is kindness he had in mind, then he could have done thing without top dog lawyers on TV.
You do not need a lawyer to say I want to be in your life.
You just do the right things and maybe someone will want to be in your life.You send donations, you send a card that says when you are ready, you don't get a TOP DOG LAWYER and go on TV.
Especially after the first 11 years there is no hiring a cheep lawyer to find her.
HIS TIMING IS UGLY HIS METHOD IS UGLY and frankly he looks pretty bad too.
BEAUTY IS AS BEAUTY DOES.. nothing he has done shows kindness.

But then again some people are used to getting so little
that they stick up for a crumb. I do not care if you need to be right, and I sure do not care
if you have issues with me.
IF JC cares to know him for any reasoon even curiosity, it will not a relationship make.
But it will be on her terms, at her time. and he really need to go away now.
HER PLATE IS FULL AND HE WON'T BE A PRIORITY AT ALL. That I am certain.

BBM
Please, Do not even attempt to think you know anything about me. I get plenty of love and completion in my life, you needn't worry about that. That's why I'm able to try to see the good in people. If I were sticking up for a "crumb", as you say, then I would be defending the Garridos, not Mr. Slayton. It is mean and silly for you to refer to a perfect stranger in that way. You don't know a thing about him or his life. He's nowhere near the despicable level of the Garrido's, yet some insist on slamming him as though he is. And, I assure you, I do not need to be right, but I do need to be just in my opinions of others. And please do not flatter yourself to think I have taken issue with you personally, especially when you posted in response to my post to begin with. I simply responded.

 

[mysteriew]

1.DNA testing wasn't available then and 2. It isn't at all possible that Terry didn't want to be found? People can hide, ya know?
Also, where is it said that she isn't being given a choice? He said they would wait for her to call if and whenever she is ready. And I didn't hear anything about an immediate DNA test, I'm pretty sure he's willing to wait until she's ready for that, too. There was nothing about his voice or body language that said urgency. I saw regret, guilt and grief. But no urgency or pushing the issue. Did I miss something?

With the introduction of DNA testing in the late 1970s and 1980s, scientists saw the powerful tool this process was for identification and determination of biological relationships.
http://www.dnacenter.com/science-technology/dna-history.html

And even before DNA testing became commonplace there was a legal process for legitimizing children. He could have done it. He didn't.