I think this was referring to a previous history of abuse, not that which occurred during her murder.
Right.
They were implying that this was something that PR should have/would have known about.
It helps to remember, MurriFlower that, many times, the other spouse DOES know about it. That said, they may not have implied that at all. They may have thought that it would have been worse to hide it from her.
I'm not sure you can read emotion into those interviews.
Maybe you can. Everyone bear with me here. I'm glad this issue came up. It's a big part of why I started this thread to begin with.
Okay, here goes. My purpose in starting this thread was not to suggest that anyone suffering from mental illness is a dangerous maniac. It was instead an attempt to illustrate the danger of ignoring warning signs and to encourage deeper understanding of those poor souls who are afflicted. We all have stereotyped images of what a so-called "nut" or "psycho" is like: how they look, how they act, etc. The big problem is, most of the time they seem quite ordinary. It's only after something goes wrong that the problem is seen for what it is. The classic case would be Andrea Yates. We all know how that ended up. Her case illustrates the problem of willful denial as well.
I think I had best come clean about something. I wouldn't have started a thread involving Patsy and mental illness if I didn't think that she had issues. But that does NOT mean that I'm not sympathetic. As anyone who reads the original post can see, I did it with the very noblest of intentions. There's a big difference between seeing someone as disturbed and saying that someone is an "evil psycho."
I make no bones about the fact that I believe that Patsy Ramsey was a deeply troubled woman. This thread and "Loved to Death" are my attempts to illustrate that belief. BUT I am NOT trying to paint her as some kind of monster. I'm doing everything I possibly can to convey how much deep sympathy I have for her, even if she is guilty. Far as I go, this case is a tragedy right across the board.
I've stated just now that I believe Patsy was disturbed. There are several reasons for that belief. I don't think that she had a very nurturing childhood. From what I know of her mother, Nedra, she seems like a very controlling, dominating woman, possibly cold. Judging from her adamant statement that JB would do the pageants, it's clear she wasn't leaving any room for argument. Nedra struck me as the kind of mother who demanded nothing but the best from her daughters and would not tolerate anything less.
It's possible Patsy's parents were abusive, maybe physically (although back then the definition of abuse was far less elastic than it is today), more likely emotionally. There is also the chance that PR was sexually abused herself. I admit, I have no concrete proof of that, but I've learned to trust my gut feelings. If you observe her in that interview with Tom Haney, when he asks her if she or her sisters were abused, her demeanor changes dramatically. She becomes small and quiet, like a child in fear of punishment. Her voice is barely audible. She appears to be frightened. You really have to ask: when she said "no" to that question, was she trying to convince Haney or herself? There's also the issue of Patsy's sister Pam. As my own mother pointed out in her own matter-of-fact way, "I'll bet they were. Why do you think Pam let her body go so much, never got married and never had kids?" I have to admit, that got my mind going. Moreover, the idea that Patsy was sexually abused is
NOT exclusive to RDI; not by a DAMN sight. I've spoken to many IDIs in my time and there are some (how many exactly I don't know) that think the exact same thing.
If my idea about Nedra is true, it puts a whole new light on JB's pageant participation. I know that RDI takes a lot of heat for using the pageants as a jump-off point for anything in this case. Fang has cetainly hammered me because of it. But when I look at the broader canvas that has been painted here, I can't NOT see it as a factor. Let's face it: we've all heard the stories about pageant moms. We've all seen the TV shows. Anyone who watches them will notice some pretty extreme behavior on the part of the parents, many of whom are trying to capture some personal glory through their children. But what you have to remember is that Patsy took it to a whole other level. Some of the veterans of the child-pageant circuit were troubled by how far she took it. Patsy tried to claim that JB wanted to do this, and that it didn't take up much time. "Just a few Sunday afternoons," she said.
Really? Think about how much went into these performances: singing lessons, dancing lessons, modeling lessons, costume fittings and designs, making appearance dates...we're talking dozens of hours and thousands of dollars here. Does anyone here actually think that a parent would put that much time and money and effort into this purely so a child can play "dress-up?" No way. That kind of investment has a lot more behind it. Imagine the kind of pressure that puts on these little girls. We all know they're going to grow up to be "high-maintenance." The best example I can think of is Lynn Spears, mother of Britney and Jaime-Lynn Spears. Go read up on that sometime, then compare it to how those two turned out!
Was Patsy using JB to succeed where she supposedly "failed" and somehow redeem herself in her mother's eyes? I don't know. Maybe. But when a parent puts that much of an investment into their child and something happens that turns those dreams to ashes, people are capable of anything. When your whole world is built on pillars, all if takes is for one to give way and bring your whole world crashing in around you.
Then there's the issue of her disease and treatments. This is one area I have all too much firsthand knowledge about. I watched it kill both of my parents, good people who I loved more than anything. I watched it as it ate away at their minds as well as their bodies, turning them into emotional wrecks. I hardly KNEW my parents after a while. They were like these creatures that I couldn't relate to anymore. When you get cancer, there's two ways it plays out: if either kills you or you beat it. Either way, the damage to the soul is permanent. And there's the issue of Patsy's treatments and medications. We've talked alot lately about the potentially devastating side-effects of the meds she was known to take. If I could be allowed a slight "soapbox" moment here, I think that it's another sign of our overly-medicated society. Drugs are given as a quick fix with little understanding about the long-term damage that may be done. If the medications (whether or not coupled with any of the other issues I've brought up here) are dangerous, then we owe it to both JB AND Patsy to find out more about them and do everything we can to make sure it doesn't happen again.
There you have it. Anyone of these problems could lead to horrific ends. It's a lousy, rotten nest of vipers no matter what side you're on.
I've said my piece. And the worst part is, I know it won't do any good. No one will make any attempt to understand it. I honestly don't know what good I'm doing anymore. I don't know why I care anymore.
May the gods save my soul, but sometimes I wish I didn't care!