So when kids show some signs of this, pre-adolescence, what is the recommended treatment modality? Is there one?
If the child has been diagnosed with attachment disorder, typical parenting won't work. In "typical" children, they obey rules because they care about their attachment with their caregivers - they don't want to let them down. As a result, when the caregiver enforces rules, the child's attachment is what brings the child back around. However, when a child can't attach, they don't care about any relationship with the parent. They don't care at all if anyone finds their behavior offense. So, normal rewards and consequences have absolutely no impact. For these kids, we must establish attachment first. Once there is attachment, the behavior takes care of itself.
If the attachment never happens, you get a child without empathy and conscience and an extreme need to control at all costs.
Attachment parenting is extremely challenging because the parent is trying to build a relationship with a child who is continually fighting against the relationship and fighting for control. It takes 24/7 care and supervision. And, the parents are easily drained. The younger the child, the more potential to change brain patterns, and the more likely success.
It is hard, hard, hard. But, from personal experience, I will tell you that, after years of trying and working for a child, it is very rewarding when you see the first signs of conscience and empathy.
