Found Deceased KS - Marilane Carter, 36, Overland Park, enroute to Birmingham, 2 Aug 2020 #2

[swedeheart]

I'm still kind of new to this site, and I hope that the question I am about to ask is not inappropriate, because Marilane's death has an official cause, and LE seems to have closed the books.

But is it OK to question the official version here? Or is there another place? I only ask because there is so much about her death that doesn't make sense to me. And the things that do not make sense are part of the official LE and family record. It just seems like there was an immediate dismissal, saying she committed suicide, but that there are a lot of really "hinky" (never used that word before I came here) things.

I will stop posting if requested. But Marilane's death bothers me, and not because of her mental health.

welcome, @VanillaSky1970, and don't worry, you are not alone in your thinking. i had to step away from this thread after she was found, bc i made i promise that i couldn't keep (an apology to someone close to marilane). i'm still not ready to apologize, bc i do not feel like this case is on the up and up. i wish i felt differently, but i have too many doubts/questions about the official story. i'm staying tuned.

 

[I wonder]

In the UK I believe the cause of death would have most likely been misadventure. There is insufficient evidence to prove it was suicide and likewise, not enough evidence to prove it was accidental. Whether she took her own life or not, I am certain Marilane desperately wanted to feel safe. She's safe now.

 

[Quill]

I haven’t looked. But they may have chosen not to publish it. When my son passed, we chose not to publish the obituary because we figured everyone who needed to know already knew. Likewise, I recently learned a high school friend passed away a year ago. She was a teacher, and she and her husband also ran a non profit, so she was known in her community. I’ve searched and searched, and all I can find are vague articles stating she died in tragic accident while on vacation with her family. No obituary to be found.

Obituaries published in newspapers these days cost you a lot of money. It is several hundred dollars to put a traditional obit in our paper.

 

[mlhenn]

Obituaries published in newspapers these days cost you a lot of money. It is several hundred dollars to put a traditional obit in our paper.

Wow, really?? I had no idea it was that expensive, but looking into it I found some papers around here charge .50 per word after first 50! That adds up!! Then $30 to add a photo.
Some papers accept obit info only from funeral homes so not sure what the funeral home charges for doing so.
However, small town papers (published once a week) and we have a lot of those around here, charge very little to submit a obit.

As you stated, it can get expensive. I feel some just can’t afford it or choose not to spend money on that.

 

[Pianoturtle]

Wow, really?? I had no idea it was that expensive, but looking into it I found some papers around here charge .50 per word after first 50! That adds up!! Then $30 to add a photo.
Some papers accept obit info only from funeral homes so not sure what the funeral home charges for doing so.
However, small town papers (published once a week) and we have a lot of those around here, charge very little to submit a obit.

As you stated, it can get expensive. I feel some just can’t afford it or choose not to spend money on that.

If I remember correctly, a death notice in the paper, basically stating the name of the deceased and funeral info, was little to no charge. Most funeral home will publish the obituary to their own webpage. Not sure if they charge for that, as we opted not to.

 

[Seattle1]

Obituaries published in newspapers these days cost you a lot of money. It is several hundred dollars to put a traditional obit in our paper.

Wow, really?? I had no idea it was that expensive, but looking into it I found some papers around here charge .50 per word after first 50! That adds up!! Then $30 to add a photo.

^^sbm

Actually, it's always been like that (pre-internet). I had a great aunt in the newspaper biz and I recall that families were extended credit by the local paper and it would take them two years to pay off the Obit (at $7-10/mo)!

 

[Laughing]

In other places, families stopped publishing obituaries, especially service information, because criminals would break into the family member's homes during the service, knowing the family would be at the funeral home/church/graveside.

Prayers that Marilane is at rest, peace & comfort to all who love her!

 

[MimosaMornings]

Kansas City Star - Post an Obituary | Legacy.com

“The first 8 lines of an obituary are run at no charge for a deceased individual who ever lived in the Kansas City metropolitan area. A single line consists of approximately 22-27 letters and spaces. We begin charging at line 9. Once an obituary is long enough to be a paid obituary, the free eight lines is absorbed into the cost and it becomes all-inclusive. The 8 lines are free when the obituary is only 8 lines. Those lines are not subtracted from the total lines if the obituary is longer than 8 lines and is paid.”

 

[mlhenn]

In other places, families stopped publishing obituaries, especially service information, because criminals would break into the family member's homes during the service, knowing the family would be at the funeral home/church/graveside.

Prayers that Marilane is at rest, peace & comfort to all who love her!

How sad!!

 

[mlhenn]

I don’t know if it’s like this everywhere or not, but here in the south, especially in small towns, majority of people don’t even think NOT to publish an obituary. If it’s not in the weekly town paper, it’s on the funeral home’s site for people to view. A short “name, birthdate, date of death” is rarely seen either; obits can get pretty elaborate.

That’s not to say it’s the wrong or correct way/etiquette. I believe it’s the family’s decision to make and should be respected.

 

[Seattle1]

I don’t know if it’s like this everywhere or not, but here in the south, especially in small towns, majority of people don’t even think NOT to publish an obituary. If it’s not in the weekly town paper, it’s on the funeral home’s site for people to view. A short “name, birthdate, date of death” is rarely seen either; obits can get pretty elaborate.

That’s not to say it’s the wrong or correct way/etiquette. I believe it’s the family’s decision to make and should be respected.

Yes! And a sign of great disrespect from the family (and the paper) not to make it happen. Times have changed. Yet if you have elderly relatives today and try to explain the Obit is posted online, they're still aghast....

 

[Iona]

Thank you for posting this.

I have had a hard time reconciling a lot of things in Marilane's case. Mom who loves her kids. Has faith. Has direction.

And still, that wasn't enough to make things okay.

There are still unknowns, and we may never be privy to them. My thought is I need to let this go, but accept the fact that where her case is leaves me uncomfortable

Me too...

 

[Iona]

I'm still kind of new to this site, and I hope that the question I am about to ask is not inappropriate, because Marilane's death has an official cause, and LE seems to have closed the books.

But is it OK to question the official version here? Or is there another place? I only ask because there is so much about her death that doesn't make sense to me. And the things that do not make sense are part of the official LE and family record. It just seems like there was an immediate dismissal, saying she committed suicide, but that there are a lot of really "hinky" (never used that word before I came here) things.

I will stop posting if requested. But Marilane's death bothers me, and not because of her mental health.

Question everything, it means you have critical thinking skills...

 

[Quill]

^^sbm

Actually, it's always been like that (pre-internet). I had a great aunt in the newspaper biz and I recall that families were extended credit by the local paper and it would take them two years to pay off the Obit (at $7-10/mo)!

Wow. It wasn't like that down south where I live. Not until our statewide newspaper got bought by Ganne++. Our small town newspapers still do it for free and some may charge a modest fee.

 

[Quill]

I don’t know if it’s like this everywhere or not, but here in the south, especially in small towns, majority of people don’t even think NOT to publish an obituary. If it’s not in the weekly town paper, it’s on the funeral home’s site for people to view. A short “name, birthdate, date of death” is rarely seen either; obits can get pretty elaborate.

That’s not to say it’s the wrong or correct way/etiquette. I believe it’s the family’s decision to make and should be respected.

Many here (Mississippi) do not put one in the state newspaper anymore because of the cost. It used to be free and now it is quite a chunk of change if you want more than a line or two. Editing to add that most still use the smalltown papers but honestly we look online now/

 

[Quill]

Kansas City Star - Post an Obituary | Legacy.com

“The first 8 lines of an obituary are run at no charge for a deceased individual who ever lived in the Kansas City metropolitan area. A single line consists of approximately 22-27 letters and spaces. We begin charging at line 9. Once an obituary is long enough to be a paid obituary, the free eight lines is absorbed into the cost and it becomes all-inclusive. The 8 lines are free when the obituary is only 8 lines. Those lines are not subtracted from the total lines if the obituary is longer than 8 lines and is paid.”

Wow. Wonder who owns that paper? Ours got taken over by a national conglomerate and you get the name, birthdate, death date and funeral time and that is it.

 

[MimosaMornings]

Pricing: Atlanta Journal-Constitution obituaries are $17.00 per line, Sunday through Saturday. (Note: there are 40-45 characters per line). Photographs are not charged separately — They are considered part of the lineage, and photos take up about 14 lines.

 

[Seattle1]

Wow. Wonder who owns that paper? Ours got taken over by a national conglomerate and you get the name, birthdate, death date and funeral time and that is it.

With even the local advertisers turning to on-line or digital services, it's been near impossible for print media to survive and small market areas. Papers have had no choice to sell or be taken over for a song by the huge, national conglomerates.

At Thanksgiving last year, we decided that we would gift annual subscriptions to our elderly relatives because of both the cost and their inability to pay the bill locally or with their carrier as they'd done for decades.

(I'm remembering when promoting an answering machine was really pushing the envelope for this beloved and cherished group).

 

[Quill]

With even the local advertisers turning to on-line or digital services, it's been near impossible for print media to survive and small market areas. Papers have had no choice to sell or be taken over for a song by the huge, national conglomerates.

At Thanksgiving last year, we decided that we would gift annual subscriptions to our elderly relatives because of both the cost and their inability to pay the bill locally or with their carrier as they'd done for decades.

(I'm remembering when promoting an answering machine was really pushing the envelope for this beloved and cherished group).

Ours got taken over many years ago. Probably over 30 years ago and it has been its downfall. They have moved there editing operation out of state and they have screwed up so many headline. No one wants to read it anymore. I think if they had stayed local they would still relevant.

 

[Steph8angels]

Just in case as we may never know the demons Marilane was fighting alone.

I was still hoping she kept journals and maybe one day her children could see how hard she fought to have control of the burdens she carried.

I still believe there is more to her case, unfortunately we may never know.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.