MA - Cape mother fights to protect her son

[jjenny]

I think based on what has been released, it's very unclear as to what this child is saying, considering it appears he mentioned both mommy and daddy. Mommy did something "by mistake?" What in the world does that mean?

 

[Missizzy]

"Mommy" could have been putting ointment on an adhesion (which stings like heck) or might have scrubbed too vigorously during a bath. Could have...but there's no way to know. Children can use creative phrasing.

I remember one of our children's testimony and truth-telling being questioned as he stated, under oath, that the rapist had also "broken my leg". Hmmm. Our little guy was only 7 when he said that and what he meant was that the teen had badly hurt his leg. I recall a good bit of discussion about whether this child should be believed, due to that single statement. The judge didn't have any problem at all, however. The teen was found guilty on the count involving that little boy.

 

[Opie]

Another possibility that has occurred to me is that for some reason the attorneys are "afraid" of this judge. Maybe I've read too much in nearby papers (Cleveland) about scandalous conduct by a large number of folks including judges. Just a thought.

 

[Cubby]

No, I don't think anyone is bashing mom. (that would be a tos violation if we were, and I am sure if there were any tos violations the mods would have edited or removed the posts.) I think we are asking the questions to determine who is telling the truth here. Imo, we also need to be cautious of calling dad or accusing dad of being a criminal when no criminal charges have been filed against him.

From the article in the opening post:
No criminal charges have been filed against the father based on the latest evidence.

There are some concerning questions why the judge has determined moms allegations without merit.
There are concerning questions why mom is not able to retain counsel.
There is conflicting information from the experts described in the article. Some favor dad, some favor mom.

The article closes with what appears to be more of moms concerns about a gag order, when in reality, we all know family court cases are sealed. Why is the mom more concerned with the gag order? Why did the article not include a plea for assistance from an attorney willing to take her case? How did mom obtain the semen stained pajamas?

Other members have posted excellent questions as well as a means to get to the truth.
The truth is what we wish to uncover here at WS, regardless of which parent it favors in this case.

I'm not willing to take either parents side until I have more information about the (obvious) questions that were omitted for some reason in this particular article.

Hopefully the journalist will be willing to continue digging, get answers to the many posted questions in order to get to the truth of the story, for this childs sake.

 

[Cubby]

I was questioning the craziness of even entertaining the notion that a woman would be so calculated in her attempt to attack a former husband.

Respectfully snipped.

I generally don't like to give parents who falsely accuse their childs other parent of sexual allegations the attention they so desperately crave, so I won't name the 'mother' who made these accusations. (though her name and story is easy to find.)

I will add a letter written by her now adult daughter, the child who was at the center of these allegations made by her mother against her father.

Here is what Sherry Orbach has to say regarding the sexual abuse allegations her mother made against her father.

The following Op Ed article appears in the The Jewish
Press
(27 May 2005, Pagef 4). It is written by Sherry Orbach

The Jewish Press
27 May 2005, Page 4

Silent No Longer
The Other Side Of Abuse Allegations
By Sherry Orbach (Daughter of anti-father feminist <name removed>)

Editor's Note: In recent months The Jewish Press published two articles
by <Name removed> the first a, feature piece in the Family Matters section, the second an op ed column in which she recounted her longstanding allegations that her ex husband abused their daughter. Ms. <name removed>'s daughter, Sherry Orbach, requested this opportunity to respond.

Although I have not seen my mother, <name removed>, in sixteen years, I remember her clearly. She claims the reason she repeatedly accused my father in the media of sexually abusing me was to gain custody rather than fame. Yet when she did have custody of me long before the legal battles began I remember her voluntarily sending me off to live with my grandmother in upstate New York, after which I rarely saw her.

I remember, on one of my rare visits to my mother's house in Brooklyn, watching her softly stroking her hair with an antique silver brush as she gazed at herself in her bedroom mirror and wondered out loud whether she was pretty enough to be famous.

I remember my mother sitting with me on the plastic covered couch in my grandmother's country home at age five as if it were yesterday. We had been rehearsing for hours. She would begin by telling me a sordid and false story about my father, such as a detailed account about how he had molested me or about how he had thrown me violently against a wall. She then instructed me to repeat the story word for word until she was satisfied with my rendition. At the time, my father had indicated he would be filing for custody. My mother warned that if I did not tell these lies to the judge, I would be taken from my grandmother.

After my mother lost legal custody, I visited her once a week. During
these visits, my mother used to tape record me and pose me for pictures in order to gain material for her next media performance. I fought back in the only way I could. Once, I chased her around a table in an attempt to snatch her tape recorder.

For eighteen years (I am now 24); I was silent as my mother spun lie
upon lie about my father and me. According to her story, she is the victim of a conspiracy involving my father, Brooklyn Family Court, federal and state appellate courts, the Legal Aid Society, the Brooklyn Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, Ohel family services, and several leaders of the Jewish community. These co-conspirators, my mother insists, punished her for revealing that my father had sexually abused me by taking me away from her.

The truth, however, is that my father never sexually abused me, and that
reporters and alleged victims' advocates who supported my mother chose
to retell her lies without adequately checking the facts.

The reason my family and I did not seek media attention to counter my
mother's allegations is that we wished to maintain our privacy. My
family believed that my mother's publicity would fizzle out, and that it was
best to avoid the media spotlight as much as possible so that I could live a normal life. But my mother has been relentless in her exploitation of me.
Recently she embarked on another media tirade, and has published her
false allegations in this paper and others.

The worst article I have yet to see this year contains my full name as
well as photos of me as a child and as an adult, along with sickening and
absurd lies about my father and me. Even if the allegations were true (which they are not), it is a widely accepted principle of journalistic responsibility and of everyday morality that it is wrong to invade the privacy of victims (alleged or actual) by publishing their full names and photographs. Kal u'chomer (how much more so) when the allegations are false. Such deceptive reporting is so damaging and hurtful that I feel I no longer have any choice but to break my silence.

I do not hate my mother; I see her as troubled. Nor do I seek revenge. I am only speaking out to stop her, and her supporters who profess to care about me, from continuing to exploit and torment me. With no other recourse, my mother has tried to counter my denial of her allegations by claiming that I am being brainwashed and used by my father and other alleged members of the so called conspiracy who "desperately fear public scrutiny and government inquiry"

Anyone who knows me well will vouch that I am independent minded and not the weak character my mother makes me out to be. The only parent who tried to brainwash me is my mother. The only people who are using me to advance their own careers are my mother and her allies. I vividly remember my mother sitting me on the couch at age five and coaching me to lie about my father. These are my memories and not anyone else's.

I do not profess to know how typical my story is. I hope it is the exception and not the rule. However, the research involving allegations of child sexual abuse in court custody cases indicates that false allegations can occur in anywhere from 2 percent to 60 percent of such cases, and so it is far from an exact science. In these instances the accuser can often be the most vocal, the most sympathetic, and thus the most believable: But sometimes the real victim is the accused. And the one who pays the biggest price of all is the child. What I have learned from my case is that you can find "experts" to say anything, and that journalists are sometimes more interested in a good story and don't want to be confused by the facts.

The damage caused by the irresponsible reporting and advocacy of my mother and her supporters extends beyond my family. Not only have they stained the credibility of the victims' rights movement they claim to speak for, but they have diverted attention from the true needs of children in the family court and child welfare systems by misrepresenting what I, and similar children, required. What I did not require, contrary to my mother's claim, was for the family court to be opened to the media.

I, for one, owe my existence as a normal young adult to the family judges, Ohel foster care, and the Legal Aid Society attorney who helped me reunite with my father in the face of considerable opposition in the media.

Most of all, I am grateful to my father for the sacrifices he has made for me over the years.

---
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ncfc-network/message/1779


I'm posting this only as an example of what extremes a 'mother' might take. This information is not intended to prove or refute the mothers claims in the opening post for which this thread was started.

 

[Missizzy]

Cubby--I found the letter compelling and tragic. It's appalling what parents will do to their children. Your point is well taken. However, I did use the word "craziness" in my original post. If (and this is a HUGE if) the mother in question in this case has in any way manipulated her child, it is not only crazy but unconscionable.

This is an extremely disturbing case. I'm sure we all agree on that fact. Someone is abusing this child--whether it is via sexual or emotional means, possibly both. Isn't it time for the courts to make a definitive ruling about this child's safety? He is not a pawn. He is a little boy who deserves to have a safe and stable life. It is not acceptable that this child has been forced to live in limbo, effectively awaiting his fate. Can't some higher authority put the effort into meticulously investigating both parents and their claims and counter claims?

If they have nothing to hide and if they truly want to act in their child's best interest, wouldn't they welcome this?

 

[Cubby]

Cubby--I found the letter compelling and tragic. It's appalling what parents will do to their children. Your point is well taken. However, I did use the word "craziness" in my original post. If (and this is a HUGE if) the mother in question in this case has in any way manipulated her child, it is not only crazy but unconscionable.

This is an extremely disturbing case. I'm sure we all agree on that fact. Someone is abusing this child--whether it is via sexual or emotional means, possibly both. Isn't it time for the courts to make a definitive ruling about this child's safety? He is not a pawn. He is a little boy who deserves to have a safe and stable life. It is not acceptable that this child has been forced to live in limbo, effectively awaiting his fate. Can't some higher authority put the effort into meticulously investigating both parents and their claims and counter claims?

If they have nothing to hide and if they truly want to act in their child's best interest, wouldn't they welcome this?

Missizzy, I did not mean to direct my point at you, or any individual poster here. I simply used that snippet from your post as a springboard to lead into why I felt it important to share Sherri's letter. I agree with your points regarding the letter. I also fully agree with the rest of your post.

You asked about the courts or some higher authority meticulously investigating both parents claims and counter claims. The article didn't state whether that has been done or not. I assume it has. I assume some protocal is in effect where both parents are required to take some kind of psychological exam as part of a custody determination. Those again, are valid questions which were not addressed in the MSM article. The mom either did not offer that information, or the journalist did not ask.

And I agree, if there is nothing to hide both parents should be jumping at the bit to agree and adhere to all court requirements.

 

[katydid23]

My father was a defense attorney. He had many cases where he defended male clients against FALSE claims of abuse by their ex-wives. Many times he was visited later by the children when they were older, coming to apologize for their 'lies'---even though they were forced to lie as children. I am sure some of the abuse cases may have been real, but the majority of clients that he represented were innocent of the accusations.

 

[mysticrose]

This story is so similar to what I dealt with with the court and a horrible judge that it is making my skin crawl and my blood pressure rocket.
If I get time I will post my experience with all the prof. involved, it sounds just like my situation but without the sexual abuse, there was mental and some physical abuse...

It is very hard for me, it brings on anixety attacks .

Prayers this boy is finally freeded from all of this, his mother is a very strong woman, the court system can and will suck the life right out of you...

 

[Cubby]

My father was a defense attorney. He had many cases where he defended male clients against FALSE claims of abuse by their ex-wives. Many times he was visited later by the children when they were older, coming to apologize for their 'lies'---even though they were forced to lie as children. I am sure some of the abuse cases may have been real, but the majority of clients that he represented were innocent of the accusations.

This tells me Sherri is not alone in her story. And for those who are TRUE victims of abuse, these false tales do so much more harm outside the immediate family just as Sherri has stated. It makes it MUCH more difficult for those telling the TRUTH about abuse to protect themselves.

All around it is so very very sad.

 

[Cubby]

This story is so similar to what I dealt with with the court and a horrible judge that it is making my skin crawl and my blood pressure rocket.
If I get time I will post my experience with all the prof. involved, it sounds just like my situation but without the sexual abuse, there was mental and some physical abuse...

It is very hard for me, it brings on anixety attacks .

Prayers this boy is finally freeded from all of this, his mother is a very strong woman, the court system can and will suck the life right out of you...

I'm sorry you experienced this mysticrose. I too pray this child is able to escape his abuser.

 

[Reader]

I spoke with the reporter, fwiw. There is no hidden agenda here on the part of mom in his opinion.

And, I think, if the criminal case was revived here Mom is represented by the DA. We know from the article that little man has his own attorney.

He, quite likely, has the whole case file. I feel terrible for him that he had to read it...I feel worse that this little family had to live it.

Is mom being bashed here? Just a question. A criminal case was filed and the case was let go by the DA's office. Why-well, we have a traumatized child witness, we have no one other than the child in the room with the parent who was charged by police and at that time no DNA evidence. Not an unusual scenario at all-we see it every day.

So, if the inherant belief is that mom is making up allegations of sexual abuse such that professionals have been completely snowed for the last 5 years, I suppose that people can choose to go that route. I am sceptical that Mom would pass the smell test for that long.

Does anyone have probate experience here? Just wondering, because I know several people who have gone through several different attornies with protracted custody disputes, estate settlements or divorce. A number of factors come into play-how fast does the retainer run out, how much money does the person have to meet the likely bill for services, whether or not the attorney is being pressured by a partner or owner of the law firm to give up the case. I have seen all of these things occur.

After all, all of the case workers and the GAL et al are independent of Mom. They are entities of themselves.

Perhaps she is as foxy as they come and has enjoyed the last 5 years of mayhem where her child has been poked prodded and abused and terrorized by all of these strangers that have been brought into his life....perhaps she seeks the attention of the court. Perhaps she spirited biological material from her ex to accuse him of this heinous act, and perhaps she loves the attention she received from the reporter.

I dont think so. I dont think she has pursuaded all of these experts to reach the conclusions they reached on their own to further her own agenda.

She has physical custody-she could have just run. Some people will undoubtedly say she should have. She chose to operate within the court system. She invited people into their lives that could have taken her child away from her at any given time.

Just sayin.

Thanks again, believe09, for checking out the facts with the reporter and pointing out how the mother has tried to work with the system and this judge to protect her son. I agree, I don't think she has fabricated these allegations either...that would be hard to do with all of these professional people examining and interviewing the child independently, without her being present. If that were so, the child, being innocent, would have eventually told the truth about what his mother coached him to say. Also there has been physical evidence of injury to the child seen by physicians.

As far as the pajama evidence, has anybody considered that she could have just found them in the child's dirty clothes after a visit with the father?

I believe the prosecutor should just go ahead and file abuse charges against this father; if the child is telling the professionals his experiences, he should be able to tell the judge in the proper setting.

No, Believe, that was not my implication at all. I was questioning the craziness of even entertaining the notion that a woman would be so calculated in her attempt to attack a former husband. Saving semen for years??? I find it highly unlikely that anything of the sort could or would occur.

As always, I have a strong tendency to believe the child.

I'd still like to know, however, how the various independent reports were generated. Were they made due to direct disclosures from the child or observations by the mandated reporter or as the outcome of a report by the mother to the mandated reporter?

The way I read the article, the reports were from the professionals/mandated reporters own examinations and interviews with the child, NOT from taking the mother's word alone. If she was fabricating evidence, making up lies about the father, she wouldn't agree over and over for all these outside experts to be involved.

Another possibility that has occurred to me is that for some reason the attorneys are "afraid" of this judge. Maybe I've read too much in nearby papers (Cleveland) about scandalous conduct by a large number of folks including judges. Just a thought.

Good point...also, what about afraid of the father? Not much information is given about him other than he likes seeing women tortured and , abusing his wife and has had numerous complaints for sexually abusing his son, apparently has money to fight these complaints and has a lot of strange influence over the judge, who certainly seems biased in his favor...having given him unsupervised visits in the face of all evidence of abuse and even threatened to give him full custody, against all recommendations from unbiased professional reporters and police. "Shapse and other professionals in the field wondered how the judge could have reached the conclusions he did."

Cubby--I found the letter compelling and tragic. It's appalling what parents will do to their children. Your point is well taken. However, I did use the word "craziness" in my original post. If (and this is a HUGE if) the mother in question in this case has in any way manipulated her child, it is not only crazy but unconscionable.

This is an extremely disturbing case. I'm sure we all agree on that fact. Someone is abusing this child--whether it is via sexual or emotional means, possibly both. Isn't it time for the courts to make a definitive ruling about this child's safety? He is not a pawn. He is a little boy who deserves to have a safe and stable life. It is not acceptable that this child has been forced to live in limbo, effectively awaiting his fate. Can't some higher authority put the effort into meticulously investigating both parents and their claims and counter claims?

If they have nothing to hide and if they truly want to act in their child's best interest, wouldn't they welcome this?

I think that is a good idea, although there have already been independent professionals involved, but since the judge refuses to accept their findings and recommendations, if he finds against her again, the mother and the child's attorney should appeal his decision to a higher court so a complete review can be made.

------
Some other observations:

1/ I'm not sure about what is required in this probate court system, but normally a parent does not have an attorney for a child abuse case unless they are being charged. The court appoints a GAL for the child, which has been done. I think the mother wanted an attorney because she was unfamiliar with how the court system worked, had language problems and began to see how this judge was ruling in favor of her husband in the face of evidence. Why she had trouble keeping one, most likely money, besides attorneys not wanting to fight with this judge and the father's influence.

2/These reports of sexual abuse by the father have ALL come from either police or other independent professionals, not directly from the mother. Her first complaint to the court after the divorce concerned the father not feeding the child, which the judge totally ignored. The first abuse complaint was made by the police before their divorce.

It was only after she saw injuries to the child that she took him to his doctor, who referred the child to the Children's Cove. Since then numerous complaints have been filed by that agency, his doctor, his therapist, a teacher, a school counselor, child welfare officials and a court-appointed investigator, alleging sexual abuse by the father. It's hard to believe anyone could fool that many impartial professionals during this past five years.

3/The mother even offered for her son to go into state foster care for protection from the father! That reminds me of the story of King Solomon and the 2 mothers fighting over the child...she was willing to give him up to keep him safe...that indicates this is not solely about custody/possession of the child...but about the child's safety.

 

[Rayemonde]

April 2012:

Two months ago, two complaints against Barnstable Probate Court Judge Robert Scandurra were sent to the Commission on Judicial Conduct, both alleging misconduct related to a sexual-abuse case highlighted by the Times...

The complaints themselves — one filed by an organization and the other by an individual — might come to nothing, but the public will probably never know the outcome because the state commission charged with investigating judicial transgressions operates in secrecy...

In general terms, child custody cases can be very difficult to decide, Judge Scandurra said in a January interview with the Times, especially if parents start to raise issues such as alcohol abuse or drug use to gain leverage.

http://m.capecodtimes.com/article/20120401/NEWS/204010343/0/rwd

June 2012:

The father had custody revoked in October 2010 after semen was found on the boy's pajamas when he returned home from a visit with his father. A comparative DNA analysis of the semen and DNA collected from the father determined the semen was his, according to reports.

The trial will determine whether a preponderance of the evidence shows the boy was sexually abused by his father. The defense argues that the mother has coached the boy on the abuse stories as part of a campaign to alienate him from his father.

http://m.capecodtimes.com/article/20120615/NEWS/206150333/0/rwd

 

[Rayemonde]

December 2012 - mother awarded full custody. Judge calls the DNA evidence the "smoking gun" of the case, but still expresses doubt:

"As found at the end of the 2009 trial, there still exists the real possibility that the mother has prompted the child to make allegations of sexual abuse against the father," Scandurra wrote.

The boy, who Scandurra interviewed as part of the trial, provided little substantive evidence, and testimony from a doctor who had examined the child on several occasions produced no evidence that the boy had been sexually abused, according to Scandurra's decision.

The father's explanation for the semen on the boy's pajamas, however, was not credible, Scandurra wrote.

"The father explained to the court that the only way his semen could have been on the child's pajamas was as a result of the father throwing his underwear into a washing machine, which then must have contained the child's pajamas," Scandurra wrote. "He would have the court believe that for some reason the child's pajamas were not washed, but were taken out of the washing machine and given back to the child to return to the mother('s) home, more than likely by the paternal grandmother. While the father's explanation for the semen stain on (the boy's) pajamas is possible, it is farfetched, implausible, and not at all probable."

In his order, Scandurra left open the possibility for future contact between the father and the son after a psychological/offender evaluation of the father and progressive steps toward eventual unsupervised visits, including family therapy.

"Within this therapy, the father must apologize to (the son) for any hurt that he has caused him, and promise him that he will not hurt him again," Scandurra wrote. "The father does not need to admit to abuse, but does need to apologize to (the boy.)"

If unsupervised visits are allowed, the boy must have his own bedroom and the father and boy are not allowed to sleep together, Scandurra wrote.

http://m.capecodtimes.com/article/20121212/NEWS/212120346/0/rwd

 

[Rayemonde]

December 2012:

No criminal charges have been filed and no criminal case is pending against the father based on the DNA evidence, Cape and Islands Assistant District Attorney Sharon Thibeault said.

"This ruling would in no way change that," she said, adding that without more context, such as a more specific allegation tied to the DNA, the district attorney's office would not bring charges.

Because of the past allegations, however, the case will always remain open with the investigating police officer, Sandwich police Detective Sgt. Terence Murphy, she said.

http://m.capecodtimes.com/article/20121212/NEWS/212120346/0/rwd

Ehh??!! Please tell me charges were filed... I can't find any updates after this

 

[pappa rob]

That sounds crazy, why give the father unsupervised visits?