Recovered/Located MI - Ashley Shade, 35, & baby, 6 days,(fnd dec.) Lansing, Mar 2019 *arrest*

[yrmfp]

I adopted my now 4 year old son from foster care and this whole case has reminded me SO much of his bio mother. At 24 he was her 4th baby born addicted and immediately removed by the state ( now there have been 5). When we were in court terminating her parental rights the judge stated ( she did not show, just as she rarely did visits or previous hearings and appointments) that if the law allowed he would court order long term birth control but he did put in the order that any subsequent children born from her in NC would immediately go into state care.
Not to tie the thread up about her but she definitely has some mental issues that the drugs just add to. When pregnant with baby #5 she messaged me that she was pregnant and not sure how far but was going to leave the state to give birth ( she never had any prenatal care with any of the 5 pregnancies).
Thankfully she had a warrant out and " somehow " her probation officer was tipped off to the motel she was hiding in. She gave birth while in prison on a 5 month stint and is currently absconded. No matter how much anyone has tried to help her she just continues... I've personally offered to pay for detox ( even pulled strings to get her a spot in a long term program that offered her a job and place to stay when she told me about the last pregnancy. The case worker went to pick her up at the motel as agreed and she hid. ...

I know people feel its immoral to permanently steralize but when you have taken care of a baby in full withdrawal and it continues happening repeatedly to several babies born to that mother, you change your opinion quickly.

 

[beatrixpotter]

I adopted my now 4 year old son from foster care and this whole case has reminded me SO much of his bio mother. At 24 he was her 4th baby born addicted and immediately removed by the state ( now there have been 5). When we were in court terminating her parental rights the judge stated ( she did not show, just as she rarely did visits or previous hearings and appointments) that if the law allowed he would court order long term birth control but he did put in the order that any subsequent children born from her in NC would immediately go into state care.
Not to tie the thread up about her but she definitely has some mental issues that the drugs just add to. When pregnant with baby #5 she messaged me that she was pregnant and not sure how far but was going to leave the state to give birth ( she never had any prenatal care with any of the 5 pregnancies).
Thankfully she had a warrant out and " somehow " her probation officer was tipped off to the motel she was hiding in. She gave birth while in prison on a 5 month stint and is currently absconded. No matter how much anyone has tried to help her she just continues... I've personally offered to pay for detox ( even pulled strings to get her a spot in a long term program that offered her a job and place to stay when she told me about the last pregnancy. The case worker went to pick her up at the motel as agreed and she hid. ...

I know people feel its immoral to permanently steralize but when you have taken care of a baby in full withdrawal and it continues happening repeatedly to several babies born to that mother, you change your opinion quickly.

Even as the idea of forcible sterilization makes me ill I do absolutely get where you are coming from. There is a difference between sterilizing "undesirables" and sterilizing someone who repeatedly damages their unborn children and refuses to take care of them despite every opportunity. I know my beliefs often contradict. *sigh*

 

[ValhallaWolves]

Even as the idea of forcible sterilization makes me ill I do absolutely get where you are coming from. There is a difference between sterilizing "undesirables" and sterilizing someone who repeatedly damages their unborn children and refuses to take care of them despite every opportunity. I know my beliefs often contradict. *sigh*

I’m 100% a fence sitter on this issue too. It’s such a huge violation of human rights... but isn’t abusing and murdering a child also a violation of THEIR human right? I have a nine month old and my heart hurts knowing this sweet little girl never even got a chance.

 

[yrmfp]

I definitely do not agree with how in the past they steralized for even slight mental delays etc... however, I've seen so many women just continue having children born addicted and the only repercussions here in NC is that DSS removes the baby. That obviously isn't enough to affect them as they continue having more born under the same conditions.
Do I think an addict that accidentally gets pregnant and continues using during deserves no more chance? No ( although I struggle saying that when I remember my sons first few months). I do believe everyone deserves a second chance.... however, when they create a pattern of doing it again and again... something has to change.

We still do not know what caused Ashley's babies death but given her history one possibility is the baby was going through withdrawal....Regardless it's sad and even if not permanent sterilization, I definitely wish that long term birth control was mandatory.

 

[LadyL]

ugh
RIP baby