I bet there are many women who believed, just like you, that it couldn't happen to them because they were good parents and didn't play games. Then while their children were being taken away and thrown into foster care because someone called in false allegations of inappropriate actions, they realized too late they were being held at the mercy of an aggressive agency by virtue of an often abused power of the state. The agency then turned life upside down for the entire family as they combed through every detail of their personal lives and racked up every small infraction ever made as a parent or a person. If this didn't get them what they wanted, they would eventually (after the families got a lawyer and threatened court action) give the kids back after they had been in foster care with the real possibility they could have been abused while there. CPS would come back every month to insure the families knew they held the power to do it again at any given time.
This is basically what can and often happens when CPS becomes involved...false allegations or not. It is not a walk in the park for even the most innocent families. It can be a terrifying and long ordeal with grave consequences. There are not enough workers and the kids who suffer horribly are the ones in true trouble overlooked while CPS goes on witch hunts for ex-husbands/ex-wives or in-laws. Sad, but true...in this state our children's protection agency has lost or misplaced several children and some have ended up dead because they screwed up so badly. Hence the call for an overhaul.
Like I said...I have not experienced it personally, but I did some extensive research on the subject. I found some very frightening cases. After talking to some families, it made a huge impression on me of how vulnerable people really are when it comes to this particular state agency.
Great points. I've been lurking here a few months, but this story compelled me to come out of the woodwork. I can't tell enough about the details of the story to judge the mother's involvement in the situation, but reading the story made me physically ill, based on my own experiences. I'm one of the most "law and order" people you will ever meet, but I would not blame anyone for going into hiding over social service involvement. I was the victim of harassment by social services and it has affected my family's lives for years.
It started with my husband's ex wife getting busted for drugs while my stepdaughter was visiting her. My husband, who had long been divorced from her, was immediately granted sole custody as the non-offending parent who was in no way involved or aware of the situation.
I can tell you with 100 percent certainty that just because you did not commit child abuse or neglect or was never even accused of being involved with it, does not mean you won't face the wrath of social services.
Their involvement in our lives, as non-offending parties, led to a false arrest and on a separate occasion, led to police and social workers to surprise storm our house. We were those people with nothing to hide. There was no child abuse or even remote evidence of it. That's said, I cannot even begin to describe the feelings of fear, helplessness, and horror that come with these "investigations" initiated by undertrained and overworked people. Yes, we came out the good side of things in that no one has any convictions, my stepdaughter never went to foster care, and we now have permanent sole custody, but I dare say that was only because we're educated and have strong political connections in the community. If we had less social and economic privilege, I'm sure things would have been different.
My stepdaughter and I both have nightmares about police and social workers regularly and have had have therapy because of the DSS harassment.
Recently, social services has prevented us from adopting from another agency simply because they do not like us. As I said, we have no criminal records or child abuse or neglect records. They simply found us to be a frustrating family to work with because we asked a lot of questions about the process. Even though I am a mandated child abuse and neglect reporter, one case worker told me they would put my stepdaughter in foster care if I called them ever again. Can they legally do that? No way. But in the heat of the moment, fear overtakes logic and I didn't call their bluff.
Out of about 30 law firms I contacted about our situation, only one agreed to take the case -- at an astronomical rate -- because the consensus is that DSS is almost "untouchable" in my state, as one attorney told me.
In the end, its difficult to know how you'll behave in these situations until you're actually there. Social services, more than any government agency I've seen, uses fear tactics on average citizens. It's in no way fair, even though I believe keeping children safe is one of the most important responsibilities of the government. Until there's an overhaul of the entire system, I think we'll see more and more cases of people going into hiding.
