I hope I come across friendly, I would like to share information on this. This may be an interesting read for you, the five stages were not meant to be about what those left behind experience. She based it on interviews with over 200 dying patients. I have read some her writings at the end of her life, she was unhappy that her work was taken out of context. And you are correct, they were never meant to be linear or applied to all people.
From
Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. This group of terms has become so ingrained in our cultural consciousness that almost anyone could tell you what they are: the five stages of grief. Introduced to the world in the 1969 book On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the...
www.mcgill.ca
“Using these experiences Kübler-Ross wrote her now famous book outlining the DABDA model, citing her contact with ‘‘over two hundred dying patients’" as its basis. Now, she did write in On Death and Dying that, “family members undergo different stages of adjustment similar to the ones described for our patients,” but having a loved one diagnosed with a terminal illness is not the same as losing said loved one to death. The five stages of grief were never meant for the bereaved. That’s just how they’ve been applied again and again.”
The EKR Foundation has further developed the model into what they now call the EKR Change Curve. There are other frameworks that speak to change in addition to the EKR one I mentioned above.
Since the publication of "On Death & Dying" (1969), the Five stages have been adapted into the "Kübler-Ross Change Curve" ™
www.ekrfoundation.org