ND - Kate Boe, 5 mos, dies in hot car, Grand Forks, 28 June 2006

[mymeow]

This is a truly tragic story. As a new mother who takes her child to daycare every day, I know that sometimes I'm half way to work and, due to major sleep deprivation, will panic and think-oh my God, did I drop the baby off? Of course I did, but there have been times when I got on the parkway (which is a block before the day care) because it was my routine for 5 years. I used to think these parents were idiots, too, but after trying to function on 2 hours sleep some nights, I, sadly, can see how this would happen. My heart goes out to this family. I also don't think I could survive the guilt.

 

[Yakwoman]

What a horrid scene that must have been at the day care center….
Are there any siblings?
At 34 with a 5 month old and a job maybe she was sleep deprived? Wonder what kind of work she did? Mine didn’t go to day care until much older and only a couple days a week but the dropping off and picking up was a major event in my day. I would think at 5 months there would be quite a bit of paraphernalia that would have to be prepared and carried in as well.

So sad.

Andrea is a marketing director for an engineering firm. Her workplace is practically across the street from the day care. Not sure if they had any other kids. So sad.

 

[Garnan]

This is very strange, why didn't she see the baby in the car when she left work that afternoon? Sorry for this, but... wouldn't there have been an odor in the car as well? I am not liking what I am thinking, but this is not your typical left the baby in the car story. I am not surprised that an investigation is going to take 2 weeks.

 

[Masissy]

This is very strange, why didn't she see the baby in the car when she left work that afternoon? Sorry for this, but... wouldn't there have been an odor in the car as well? I am not liking what I am thinking, but this is not your typical left the baby in the car story. I am not surprised that an investigation is going to take 2 weeks.

Probably for autopsy results.

 

[Yakwoman]

This is very strange, why didn't she see the baby in the car when she left work that afternoon? Sorry for this, but... wouldn't there have been an odor in the car as well? I am not liking what I am thinking, but this is not your typical left the baby in the car story. I am not surprised that an investigation is going to take 2 weeks.

Well, it wasn't a car - it was a van and it had tinted windows. From what I've been able to gather via news reports and the old "grapevine," it seems that it was simply a tragic accident, and I think the autopsy results will bear that out.

 

[Yakwoman]

Here is the obituary notice, along with a photo of little Kate.

http://www.legacy.com/grandforks/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=18298260

 

[Leila]

I heard a radio interview yesterday with a woman who's the spokesperson for an auto-safety group. She had a few good tips for people who regularly transport their infants and toddlers to daycare or other places. One thing she said was to get into the habit of having your purse and/or briefcase or whatever you normally carry in the car, placed right next to the car seat, which would nessitate you opening the rear door and seeing the child.

The other hint was to have a teddy bear in the car seat when it's not in use. When you place the child in the car seat, move the teddy bear to the front seat and place it where you can't miss it, reminding you that a child is on board.

The woman is advocating some sort of alarm either on car seats or on the car that will go off when the engine is turned off. It might be as simple as something that can be programmed into the car's computer that the owner can pre-set only once when they purchase the car. The alarm will come on every time the engine is turned off. I like the idea that the alarm could be a pre-programmed voice alert "child in rear seat" as opposed to a sound, as often people get used to a sound and their mind tunes them out. A verbal alert might be more effective.

 

[reb]

does anyone notice an increase of people being distracted all day long from yakking incessantly on their cell phones, and this kind of thing happening....???

 

[lizziedripping]

This is very strange, why didn't she see the baby in the car when she left work that afternoon? Sorry for this, but... wouldn't there have been an odor in the car as well? I am not liking what I am thinking, but this is not your typical left the baby in the car story. I am not surprised that an investigation is going to take 2 weeks.

I'm not sure if I think it's strange or just hard to believe. Does anyone know where the van was parked, on the company car park, on the street? Surely the baby must have been crying at some stage, strange how nobody heard it

 

[Old Broad]

I wish someone had been able to see the baby and gotten help but I'm thinking that with the temperature rising, the affect would be just the oposite, the baby would be more apt to fall asleep.

A couple years ago I got upset with seeing a small dog left in the car parked at a restaraunt. It was the middle of summer and Hot! I went inside and called humane society and police station. Of course the people responsible for leaving that poor dog inside the swealtering car did it on purpose. I'm sorry but leaving an animal inside an oven with a little crack in the window is criminal, it was a sit down place and they were probably in there 45-60 minutes.

It happens also that young children get inside parked cars and are killed. Some just curl up and go to sleep, never trying to get back out.

Old Broad

 

[Yakwoman]

I'm not sure if I think it's strange or just hard to believe. Does anyone know where the van was parked, on the company car park, on the street? Surely the baby must have been crying at some stage, strange how nobody heard it

It's a very small parking lot where the employees park. Most likely, everyone arrived around the same time and didn't leave again until lunchtime or closing time (even by lunchtime it was probably too late to hear anything). The van had tinted windows, so it was unlikely anyone would have seen anything even if they had looked.

 

[Amraann]

This poor family.


Its worth noting that these types of accidents seem more prevalant now that women are a larger part of the work force.
You can only do a million and ONE things at once before you start to forget.
You cook you clean you still do all those Mommy/ wife things and you work 40 hours or more per week.
I am sad that at 5 months old this baby had to go into daycare. I know that its what a working mom has to do. I am not bashing.. I am just saying its almost impossible for a family to survive without 2 incomes nowadays and mom's working are more distracted and over stressed then ever before.

 

[2sisters]

I consider myself a smart woman (somewhat). I love my children, I would step in front of a speeding train for them. I am a good mother and they are my first priority above everything. They are my life. That said, I have driven past my day care before and had to turn around half way to work b/c my babies are in the car still. I have also driven past and failed to pick them up ( I have 4 month old twins). This happens to alot of us so lets lay off this woman a little and quit being so judgemental. The mother must feel awful, I would want to kill myself i would feel so bad. i don't think I could live with out my babies.

 

[Yakwoman]

I consider myself a smart woman (somewhat). I love my children, I would step in front of a speeding train for them. I am a good mother and they are my first priority above everything. They are my life. That said, I have driven past my day care before and had to turn around half way to work b/c my babies are in the car still. I have also driven past and failed to pick them up ( I have 4 month old twins). This happens to alot of us so lets lay off this woman a little and quit being so judgemental. The mother must feel awful, I would want to kill myself i would feel so bad. i don't think I could live with out my babies.

Well said. :clap:

 

[Yakwoman]

This poor family.


Its worth noting that these types of accidents seem more prevalant now that women are a larger part of the work force.
You can only do a million and ONE things at once before you start to forget.
You cook you clean you still do all those Mommy/ wife things and you work 40 hours or more per week.
I am sad that at 5 months old this baby had to go into daycare. I know that its what a working mom has to do. I am not bashing.. I am just saying its almost impossible for a family to survive without 2 incomes nowadays and mom's working are more distracted and over stressed then ever before.

Very true. We are supposed to be "super women" who can "have it all" and when it comes right down to it, we are just human.

 

[lizziedripping]

It's a very small parking lot where the employees park. Most likely, everyone arrived around the same time and didn't leave again until lunchtime or closing time (even by lunchtime it was probably too late to hear anything). The van had tinted windows, so it was unlikely anyone would have seen anything even if they had looked.

Thanks Yakwoman, I think I was visualising a large car park with people constantly coming and going.

 

[Malapoo]

There was a time I could never understand how these things happened, but having worked with a wide variety of people over the years and having forgotten some pretty standard things myself more as the years passed, I can understand how they happen. Doesn't make it any less tragic, but I would bet that these folks will suffer enough for the rest of their lives without any reminders or chastisement from outside.


I travel certain routes to see family and football games repeatedly every year and have frequently found myself "daydreaming" only to look around and have absolutely no idea where I am. Routes I see regularly and certainly after a few miles I see a landmark I know, but it's sort of scary. Worked with a girl who performed the same task for YEARS and one morning she came past and I said have you done such and such (that task) and she said "Oh, would you like me to START doing that now?" - I'm not exaggerating, this task had been her responsibility for YEARS and suddenly it was like she'd never done it and had no idea that it was her job to begin with. I don't have children but she does and claims to be ADHD as well though as much as she likes to sit on her butt, I find that hard to believe since she doesn't take any meds etc for it.

Especially being in the work force, you get in sort of a monotonous routine where you "zone out" and as horrible as it seems, these things can and do happen. A veterinarian in this state did it - he wasn't the usual child care handler but had a few days when he did the morning routine which wasn't normally his and wound up with a dead child and this after they'd tried for years including fertility to even HAVE a baby. I won't tar & feather him because I know there is nothing society can do to him that comes close to what he'll do to himself inside for the rest of his life.

 

[TisHerself]

I consider myself a smart woman (somewhat). I love my children, I would step in front of a speeding train for them. I am a good mother and they are my first priority above everything. They are my life. That said, I have driven past my day care before and had to turn around half way to work b/c my babies are in the car still. I have also driven past and failed to pick them up ( I have 4 month old twins). This happens to alot of us so lets lay off this woman a little and quit being so judgemental. The mother must feel awful, I would want to kill myself i would feel so bad. i don't think I could live with out my babies.

Nobody is being judgemental or saying anything bad about this woman, some were just asking questions to try to make things a little clearer in their minds that's all. We can do that, my heart goes out to her she has to be totally devastated. Just because we are asking questions does not mean we are judging her, if I thought she was at fault I would come right out and say so.

 

[JBean]

Very true. We are supposed to be "super women" who can "have it all" and when it comes right down to it, we are just human.

Hi Yak.I think we should stop trying to be superwomen. We can't do it all well, it's impossible. I have never met a woman that CAN do it all, without something getting neglected.I thought I could do it "all" once upon a time, but i figured out fast that while it appears everything is 'getting done" something is taking a backseat and is being neglected. Could be work that is neglected, could be family but something is coming in second. Might be as simple as losing the evening family meal because everyone is "too busy".
What I found really sad, was the "safety" tip to put your briefcase or purse near your child so you have to open the door and this will remind you that your child is there . Seems like it should be the other way around. That tip alone really rings of misplaced priorities IMO. I don't mean about specific women but about society in general.
We should put our briefcases next to our children to remember our briefcases.
I know accidents happen everyday all the time. But when we are so
preoccupied with work or other aspects of life that we forget our kids,it's time to make a change. Again, I am not speaking about this woman specifically, because i think she represents many.I am speaking about our society in general, about the expectations placed on us to be superwomen.
I feel really bad for this woman and her family.

 

[TisHerself]

Hi Yak.I think we should stop trying to be superwomen. We can't do it all well, it's impossible. I have never met a woman that CAN do it all, without something getting neglected.I thought I could do it "all" once upon a time, but i figured out fast that while it appears everything is 'getting done" something is taking a backseat and is being neglected. Could be work that is neglected, could be family but something is coming in second. Might be as simple as losing the evening family meal because everyone is "too busy".
What I found really sad, was the "safety" tip to put your briefcase or purse near your child so you have to open the door and this will remind you that your child is there . Seems like it should be the other way around. That tip alone really rings of misplaced priorities IMO. I don't mean about specific women but about society in general.
We should put our briefcases next to our children to remember our briefcases.
I know accidents happen everyday all the time. But when we are so
preoccupied with work or other aspects of life that we forget our kids,it's time to make a change. Again, I am not speaking about this woman specifically, because i think she represents many.I am speaking about our society in general, about the expectations placed on us to be superwomen.
I feel really bad for this woman and her family.

Great post, that's all I think some were saying when they were questioning, not judging this woman. It is really sad that it is to the point we have to think of puttting a briefcase next to us to remind us our child is in the car.
It does not speak to well of our society as a whole, and the pressures many of us are under in order to survive. The fact that our minds can be so overloaded and tired that we would need to have briefcases or alarms is really sad.