NJ NJ - Mindy Jordan, 46, missing from cruise ship off Atlantic City, 11 May 2008

[SuziQ]

I don't agree. Many abused women do love the men who abuse them.

Ahhhh, they think it's love. That's the difference. Abused women stay in bad relationships for a variety of reasons, low self esteem, finances, fear, etc.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

He wasn't there or I could agree he should be a suspect.

 

[Rino]

Ahhhh, they think it's love. That's the difference. Abused women stay in bad relationships for a variety of reasons, low self esteem, finances, fear, etc.

With all due respect I think you are making a judgement call that is not yours to make.

Yes it takes a lack of self esteem to stay with an abuser, but that does not mean their "love" for the other person should be questioned.

 

[SuziQ]

With all due respect I think you are making a judgement call that is not yours to make.

Yes it takes a lack of self esteem to stay with an abuser, but that does not mean their "love" for the other person should be questioned.

I think someone posting that there was obviously "love" between Jorge and Mindy is a pretty big judgement call and assumption as well.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

I think Suzi is right. What abused women believe to be "love" are feelings of dependence, inadequacy, and fear. Once the woman is removed from the situation and she has received counseling for those issues...her undying "love" for her abuser ends because she will come to understand it wasn't a healthy emotional relationship. Her feelings were not stemming from love, but from whatever reasons she allowed herself to be drawn into the situation to begin with.

 

[Ntegrity]

I think Suzi is right. What abused women believe to be "love" are feelings of dependence, inadequacy, and fear.

I think Suzi is wrong. My father was an abuser so I think I know a little about the subject -- certainly enough to give an opinion that is based on real life experience without having it shot down.

 

[Rino]

I think someone posting that there was obviously "love" between Jorge and Mindy is a pretty big judgement call and assumption as well.

Maybe so but that has little to do with you or anyone questioning someone elses emotions.

Leaving an abuser may mean having to leave your loved one.

 

[SuziQ]

I think Suzi is wrong. My father was an abuser so I think I know a little about the subject -- certainly enough to give an opinion that is based on real life experience without having it shot down.

When did I "shoot" your opinion down? Since when is it not okay to voice a different opinion at WS?

 

[LinasK]

I think Suzi is right. What abused women believe to be "love" are feelings of dependence, inadequacy, and fear. Once the woman is removed from the situation and she has received counseling for those issues...her undying "love" for her abuser ends because she will come to understand it wasn't a healthy emotional relationship. Her feelings were not stemming from love, but from whatever reasons she allowed herself to be drawn into the situation to begin with.

Well-stated!:clap::clap::clap:

 

[SeriouslySearching]

I think Suzi is wrong. My father was an abuser so I think I know a little about the subject -- certainly enough to give an opinion that is based on real life experience without having it shot down.

So you are in fact talking about your mother's feelings? Because this doesn't apply to the children of an abuser.

 

[Rino]

So you are in fact talking about your mother's feelings? Because this doesn't apply to the children of an abuser.

Sure it does.

 

[SuziQ]

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,356335,00.html

This is a rush transcript from "On the Record ," May 15, 2008. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

Sure it does.

No, it really doesn't. A child is born into such a relationship and the basic values of that dictate the child will sincerely love the parent...even if abuse is present. An adult relationship containing abuse is an entirely different dynamic.

 

[Rino]

No, it really doesn't. A child is born into such a relationship and the basic values of that dictate the child will sincerely love the parent...even if abuse is present. An adult relationship containing abuse is an entirely different dynamic.

You lost me because thats what I thought I said

 

[SuziQ]

He wasn't there or I could agree he should be a suspect.

And THAT'S the wrench thrown into the foul play theory. I wonder if the friends will speak publicly anytime soon?

 

[SeriouslySearching]

Originally Posted by SeriouslySearching
So you are in fact talking about your mother's feelings? Because this doesn't apply to the children of an abuser.

Sure it does.

No, that isn't the way I understood it at least. What I thought you said was it DOES apply to the children of an abuser. I was making the statement there is a huge difference between the two and the spouse of an abuser does not experience feelings of "love" in the true sense of the word. They may mistaken it for such, but it isn't.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

And THAT'S the wrench thrown into the foul play theory. I wonder if the friends will speak publicly anytime soon?

LOL Not if the FBI has anything to say about it.

 

[kato]

My mom went on a cruise a couple yrs. ago leaving out of Galveston. On their way home a woman committed suicide by jumping off the ship. They turned around to go look for her.

Her husband and 2 young kids were onboard also. He woke up and she was gone. Come to find out via friends and family that she had been battling depression for quite awhile. Some of you other Houstonians may remember this incident.

 

[LinasK]

You lost me because thats what I thought I said

I think what SS means is that a child in an abusive relationship isn't given a choice whether or not to love his parent, usually they learn to love unconditionally, even when they are being abused. Whereas, an adult woman has entered an abusive relationship by choice, even if she didn't know going into it the guy was abusive, she certainly makes the choice to stay in it, even if it's only because she feels she has no options. Many abused women do successfully leave abusive relationships and go on to live better lives.

A good example that comes to mind is the FLDS women and children...

 

[SeriouslySearching]

How sad, Kato.