NJ - Sean Goldman: Abducted and living in Brazil UPDATE: Coming Home

[Linda7NJ]

The boy is in a legal tug of war between "dads" The boy is going to end up being ripped in half.

 

[Fairy1]

I would do the same!

Me too! How bad could it be living in Brazil? But the point is - they all must do what is best for Sean. All of them.

 

[Fairy1]

Please don't think I'm attacking you. This is just the first thing that came to mind when I read your post. Matthew Mcconaughey's closing statement in the movie "A Time to Kill" had a major and sometimes irritating impact on me.

Pretend you're this little boy's father or mother, who should he be with ?

Totally understand where you're coming from! I think anyone who spends much time on WS knows all too well that sometimes, being with the bio parent(s) is NOT best for the child. Of course, this case is different and, by all accounts and actions, David should be considered a great father who just wants to raise his child as he was meant to. Sadly, it's become incredibly complicated.

What bothers me most is the stepfather's motivations in keeping Sean. What does he stand to gain by keeping Sean with him in Brazil? Has it become nothing more than a matter of winning at all costs? The Brazillian court system is guilty of doing a great disservice to this little boy if they haven't thoroughly explored this question.

 

[MCDRAW]

I see nothing weird about it. The boys step father has been daddy for how long now?

I guess some people just don't understand how a person can love a child that isn't their blood. For some people that isn't even possible.

My son is adopted, *I* am his mother and I love him with every fiber of my being. I get it, I understand it.

So if someone kidnapped your child and kept him for five years, you wouldn't fight for him or even think you should have him back because the kidnapper loved your child and was a parent to him? Adopted and kidnapped are two different things. Your son's biological parents chose to have you adopt him. Sean's Dad didn't get a choice.

 

[Fairy1]

So if someone kidnapped your child and kept him for five years, you wouldn't fight for him or even think you should have him back because the kidnapper loved your child and was a parent to him? Adopted and kidnapped are two different things. Your son's biological parents chose to have you adopt him. Sean's Dad didn't get a choice.

So true. Has the stepfather ever even attempted to adopt Sean, as his own, legally?

My husband - my children's stepfather - adopted my children years ago. The main reason for that was so that, in the event anything should ever happen to me, their entire lives wouldn't be turned upside down. I couldn't bear the thought of my babies, after losing their mom, having to leave their home, their school, their friends, etc. Plus, their stepdad is primarily the only dad they've ever known and I knew he would take care of them no matter what.

I realize that Sean's mom didn't foresee what would happen, but she did go about removing Sean from his home and family in a very calculating manner, IMO. Though I don't believe David would have given up his rights to his son under any circumstances.

 

[Linda7NJ]

So if someone kidnapped your child and kept him for five years, you wouldn't fight for him or even think you should have him back because the kidnapper loved your child and was a parent to him? Adopted and kidnapped are two different things. Your son's biological parents chose to have you adopt him. Sean's Dad didn't get a choice.

You're talking law again...All I am saying is, the step father is the boy's psychological parent. It doesn't really matter what is legal. *I* would want whatever is best for my child.

I already said...my butt would be relocated in Brazil, I would have done it long ago.

 

[Bree0372]

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2009/06/david_goldmans_son_says_he_wan.html

David Goldman's son says he wants to stay in Brazil

Sorry for this being such a long post (multi-posts) but I've been away for a while and wanted to respond.

This psychologist was paid for by the Lins e Silva's. Each question she asked was a leading question and therefore did not give Sean an opportunity to respond in a correct manner. In other words, she put things into his head....as requested and paid for, I'm sure.

I'm just glad the child was allowed to be heard.

I also hope the decision reached isn't based on the laws...but only on what's best for the child's well being

The child had already been heard by 3 court appointed psychologists. This latest fiasco has done more mental harm to Sean. That is NOT in his best interest. I pray that this latest "interview" (again paid for by the abductor) will not be entered into evidence. When a child has been repeatedly told lies about his father, what do you expect him to believe?

Just at the beginning of June, Sean was so excited to be with his father (David) and even asked him to return the following morning. David changed his travel arrangements in order to spend additional time with Sean on Thursday morning. He said that Sean was happy-go-lucky and playful UNTIL he was called upstairs. Once returning he was "robotic" and withdrawn. I'm not sure how anyone can believe that the environment that the child (Sean) is currently living in is a healthy one. I wouldn't want that for my son nor anyone elses.

What's very telling, IMHO, about the step father, is this is his j o b. Working for families who's children have been taken from them and held within the bounds of Brazil. He knows all the ins and outs, and he KNOWS all the heartbreak too.

Yet here he is, doing the same thing.

Telling, very telling.
fran

and

Oh yes. He's an attorney and represents people who are trying to get their kidnapped children, or let's say custody disputed children, back to them.

That's what I meant, he knows all the ins and outs. He's now using the laws to HIS advantage.

JMHO
fran

PS...at least that's what I understand. I could be wrong.

Joao Paulo Lins e Silva is a family law attorney. He is a part of a large family practice in Rio. It is sickening that this is what he does for a living.....working Hague Cases just as David's. Yet, when the shoe is on the other foot, the law goes out the window. It is believed that he assisted in the initial abduction of Sean 5 years ago. Even Joao Paulo's father, Paulo, has given interviews in the past on the very subject of Parental Abduction and Parental Alienation. In his speech, he said that you can not go by the wishes of a child who has been subjected to Parental Alienation. It was proven (and stated in Judge Pintos rulings) that Sean is a VICTIM of Parental Alienation given the continuous, ongoing lies that this family and step-father have fed him about his father.

David did not just begin the fight for the return of his son after the death of Bruna in August 2008. His fight began the day he found out that Sean was not coming home. So, why should he just lay back now and let some man (if you can call Lins e Silva that) raise HIS SON? (Not directing this at you Fran.)

You know, my foster daughter called me Mommy. We gave her the very best of everything. I know in my heart that I could have given her more than her parents ever could, BUT....she wasn't mine to keep (unfortunately). So, sadly, I gave her back to her parents. Maybe I should have gone to Brazil? That doesn't mean that I don't think of her everyday, that I don't have pictures of her in my home, and that I don't love her with all of my heart. Now my son, who is adopted...that's a different story -- he's mine, legally mine!

This case is so very sad. I want to believe all of the adults will do what's best for this little boy. But at this stage and under the circumstances, it's difficult to keep the faith. The stepfather has no legal or biological claim to Sean, so you have to wonder what his motives really are. The bio dad clearly loves his son and wants to raise him here in the states, where he was born and has a loving family waiting for him. But at this point, would it really be best to take him away from the only life he knows? I just don't know. I don't think it's entirely black and white.

Why wouldn't it be in his best interest? Should we leave all kidnapped children with their abductors if they have developed a relationship with them? Again, this Dad didn't just begin this fight. The Brazilian Judiciary System is a joke! They saw this case initially as a custody case, not an international child abduction case. This case was seen in the Rio State Courts rather than the Federal Courts where it should have been (and currently is). The reason that the family made it to the State Courts is because that is their friends. Of course their friends were not going to rule in David's favor.

There is a Canadian guy that won his Hague Case 2 years ago in an effort to have his son returned from Brazil to Canada. His girlfriend abducted their son. She appealed the decision and he is still waiting for the appeal to be heard. 2 years for a ruling????? This whole thing is heartbreaking! I don't care whose case it is....David's, Tim W's, Francois L's, Marty P's, .... the list goes on. Why does Brazil not abide by the terms of the Treaty (Hague) that they signed in 2003? There's the question!

FWIW, the US has more than 70 children being held in Brazil illegally....50+ parents fighting for the return of their children. Don't get me started on Mexico - their record is even worse!

For me, it's not a question of right or wrong. It's not even a question of where he should have been all this time. It's not a question of who does he "belong" to.

For me the only question in my mind is...... what is best for the boy, right now.

But Linda, it is a question of right or wrong. Being a mother of a handsome young guy, how can you turn your head to the fact that this is a case of INTERNATIONAL CHILD ABDUCTION!?!? I don't care if Sean is currently living with his family in Brazil, or the President of Brazil (who by the way is a friend of the step-fathers family).....this child was abducted and through the crappy judicial system in Brazil (and the death of Sean's mother) it has taken David 5 years to get this far!!!! Is he supposed to just give up after 5 years and $400,000 just because Sean is cared for in a physical sense...not an emotional nor mental sense? Emotional and mental abuse is far worse than physical abuse, IMO.

Me too! How bad could it be living in Brazil? But the point is - they all must do what is best for Sean. All of them.

You are right! They must do what is best for Sean. IMO, that is removing him from an unhealthy environment. They are torturing his child mentally. That is far from healthy!

So true. Has the stepfather ever even attempted to adopt Sean, as his own, legally?

My husband - my children's stepfather - adopted my children years ago. The main reason for that was so that, in the event anything should ever happen to me, their entire lives wouldn't be turned upside down. I couldn't bear the thought of my babies, after losing their mom, having to leave their home, their school, their friends, etc. Plus, their stepdad is primarily the only dad they've ever known and I knew he would take care of them no matter what.

I realize that Sean's mom didn't foresee what would happen, but she did go about removing Sean from his home and family in a very calculating manner, IMO. Though I don't believe David would have given up his rights to his son under any circumstances.

Bruna, Sean's mother, died after giving birth to her daughter, Chiara, in August 2008. Without telling the courts that Bruna had died, the step father went to the courts (the state courts that are his friends) and obtained a temporary custody order. He also filed paperwork to remove David Goldman's name and David's parents name from Sean's Brazilian birth certificate that was filed at the consulates office there. He filed paperwork to have his name added as Sean's father and have his parents added as Sean's grandparents.

IT'S SICK!!!!!!

Lins e Silva was cited for this....he is facing some criminal charges for other things as well - failing to adhere to a court visitation order, telling lies to the judge, etc.

You're talking law again...All I am saying is, the step father is the boy's psychological parent. It doesn't really matter what is legal. *I* would want whatever is best for my child.

I already said...my butt would be relocated in Brazil, I would have done it long ago.

According to the latest Judge's ruling, Joao Paulo is not the Sean's "psychological parent" as you have termed him, nor is he Sean's "socio-affective parent" as he has termed himself. In fact, he is child abductor #2.

It's not so easy just to pick-up and relocate to Brazil. #1 you have to have money to do that #2 you have to have a work visa to support yourself (minimum $5K a month to live in a nice place in Rio) #3 there are death threats on David, he will require security #$...well, I could go on and on about why and how it is difficult, if not impossible, to just pick up and relocate. David is self employed in NJ and has a home to pay for among other things. Is he supposed to just leave it all behind because the Brazilian Judiciary is dragging their feet (some 5 years later)? Besides the maternal family wouldn't even let him have contact (physical or over the phone...not even gifts) until it was a court order -- February 2009.

I'm not sure if you are aware....David has received death threats while in New Jersey. He came home one day to find cigarette butts on his door step. He has proof that people have been to his home (not in his home, tmk). The FBI was called and he was told to leave his home for a while.

All of this because HE LOVES HIS SON and WANTS TO BE WITH HIM! Is that so wrong or hard to understand? Sean loves his Daddy. He has told him so. However, the maternal family and step father turn everything around on him by telling him that David is not really suffering as he would have him believe and that he doesn't love him. They have told him that David is in this for the money....he has spent nearly $400,000 already and it isn't even over yet.

Okay, I'm going to get off my soap box now. Sorry for my rant...not meaning to offend anyone. I'm just telling it like it is (IMHO)!

 

[Elphaba]

Even if David moved to Brazil to be closer to Sean, there is no guarantee that he would be able to see him. The "family/step-father" holding Sean hostage, right now, does not even want David spending quality alone time with the child, when David is even in the country.

With the threats coming out, I actually feel that David would be in danger, if he moved to Brazil permanently, to try to be near Sean. I think the only thing keeping David safe right now is that he has the attention of the courts down there, the media, and a large and current backing of the US. Let those 3 things calm as David forges a life in Brazil, and I have a feeling David will become an open target...

 

[RayStar]

Happy Father's Day to you David if you happen to read this forum. I am so po'd about this kidnapping. If the step-dad had a sense of caring in him, he would make sure Sean is returned safely to his natural father.
This is not a fight between dads.

 

[Bree0372]

Even if David moved to Brazil to be closer to Sean, there is no guarantee that he would be able to see him. The "family/step-father" holding Sean hostage, right now, does not even want David spending quality alone time with the child, when David is even in the country.

With the threats coming out, I actually feel that David would be in danger, if he moved to Brazil permanently, to try to be near Sean. I think the only thing keeping David safe right now is that he has the attention of the courts down there, the media, and a large and current backing of the US. Let those 3 things calm as David forges a life in Brazil, and I have a feeling David will become an open target...

It is my understanding, David is planning to go to Brazil in July during Sean's break from school. It is dangerous each and every time David goes to Brazil. I hope our Government will provide him with protection (as they have been while he's out) as well as assistance with living expenses (not expected). I don't believe he will 'move' to Brazil but will be present as much as possible pending the outcome of the LeS appeal on this latest decision.

For a family who is trying to now say they aren't doing anything to keep Sean away from David, that it is David making little effort to see Sean ... why file an appeal on a Judge's ruling that states Sean will spend maximum time with his Dad? I think they may have just shot themself in the foot with this latest appeal...as well as this latest psychologist 'interview' of approx 40 minutes. (One 40 minute visit and this psychologist could put together an ethical report? I think not! The court appointed psychologists (3 of them) took 5 months of interviews with Sean to reach their decision that he is suffering mental abuse in the form of Parental Alientation.

Please feel free to join the BringSeanHome forum! The more the merrier - they are a terrific group there as well. There are many other Left Behind Parents (LBP's) that are members there. Some of them have posted their abduction stories on the board as well. BSH is now a Foundation to assist David and other LBP's.

 

[MCDRAW]

You're talking law again...All I am saying is, the step father is the boy's psychological parent. It doesn't really matter what is legal. *I* would want whatever is best for my child.

I already said...my butt would be relocated in Brazil, I would have done it long ago.

You might go to Brazil but I don't believe for one minute that you would just step aside and let someone that had kidnapped your child, have your child, because they loved him and had been a parent to him. I believe you would fight to get your child back. I would hope that you would think that YOU would be best for your child.

 

[Bree0372]

You might go to Brazil but I don't believe for one minute that you would just step aside and let someone that had kidnapped your child, have your child, because they loved him and had been a parent to him. I believe you would fight to get your child back. I would hope that you would think that YOU would be best for your child.

THANK YOU!!! :clap:

Just hitting the Thanks button wasn't good enough. I felt it needed repeating. :blowkiss:

 

[opme]

You're talking law again...All I am saying is, the step father is the boy's psychological parent. It doesn't really matter what is legal. *I* would want whatever is best for my child.

I already said...my butt would be relocated in Brazil, I would have done it long ago.

And do honestly beleive that you would still have access to your child? especially with regular vists ? Do you honestly believe that they would allow you unsupervised and frequent vistiation? I think not.. its already been proven that these individuals have blocked visits, required supervised visits despite no basis for this requirement as there has been no proof of any harm psychological or physical harm to the son, nor would the pyschological warfare or campaign of parental alientation stop simply because you now reside in Brazil.. you also are not a citizen and have few rights.. so that is not necessarily going to help your cause nor aid your child if you are not physically able to see your child, freely spend time with them and if you have powerful and weathly folks fighting to prevent you from seeing your child.. especially as unsupervised visits. For all you know they could easily fabricate information of wrong doing or claims of child abuse etc and your butt will be in Brazil but behind the walls if a Brazilian prison...

 

[RayStar]

David just did an interview with the today show. I thought it was the worst I have ever seen Meredith do. I hope if and when David goes back to Brazil it will be to bring Sean home to America. I fear for David's safety in Brazil.

 

[Elphaba]

I wish I had caught the interview... hopefully NBC will post it on their site. Like you, RayStar, I'm concerned about David's safety, as well. That poor man is being put through hell...

 

[fran]

I wish I had caught the interview... hopefully NBC will post it on their site. Like you, RayStar, I'm concerned about David's safety, as well. That poor man is being put through hell...

Here's a link. I actually like the interview. Of course, I wasn't paying much attention to the interviewer because I wanted to hear the father and his attorney.

The dad is very forceful and determined in his quest to regain custody of his son.

fran


http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/31542002#31542002


PS......

FWIW, the Brazilian family came to the U.S. the other day and were on the Early Show. They made all these accusations, blah, blah, blah..........they were in a bad marriage. Well, she did get a divorce so yeah, there were problems.

But............the point is,...... this mom kidnapped the child. She ran off to Brazil because she didn't want to work and was too chicken to tell her husband she wanted a divorce and her parents helped her run away. Plain and simple........fran

 

[Mendara]

You're talking law again...All I am saying is, the step father is the boy's psychological parent. It doesn't really matter what is legal. *I* would want whatever is best for my child.

I already said...my butt would be relocated in Brazil, I would have done it long ago.

The best thing for my child is to be with me. I am sure this boy's father feels the same way. If I took my son away from my husband and ran to another country, my husband would hurt more than anything and if I then died, he would want our son back, in no way would he let my mother keep him. People are different in their views about this case, but it really is a crime to take a child away froma loving responsible parent against their will and then expect that parent to give up the child just because the child sudedenly has a "psychological" parent. Not sure what that is.

 

[Mendara]

Let me ask a question..If David went in there in the cover of night with a group of well trained people and took his son back by force back to America - would that be a crime in America?

I am so sick of these people thinking they know what is best for this child - 5 years! 5 years he has been fighting. If Sean woud have been returned 5 years ago, he would have been healthy, happy living with his real father in America as he should be, instead he is in a place where there are actual people who claim to love him, purposely and illegally keeping him away from his daddy. HOW MANY KIDS in this world have deadbeat fathers who never see them and grow up wondering why? Sean has a father who wants him and everyone is trying to stop him! Why? How horrible for this boy, he is going to be a man one day and be really angry at his mother and her family for doing this to his father and unless they lie to him and tell him his father is a monster which I am sure he will easily find out he is not and was not amonster, these brazialians are going to have to answer to a lot!

I don't believe Sean as a grown man will be happy about what they are doing to him and his father right now and eventually he is going to be angry with these people.

 

[Bree0372]

Here's a link. I actually like the interview. Of course, I wasn't paying much attention to the interviewer because I wanted to hear the father and his attorney.

The dad is very forceful and determined in his quest to regain custody of his son.

fran


http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/31542002#31542002


PS......

FWIW, the Brazilian family came to the U.S. the other day and were on the Early Show. They made all these accusations, blah, blah, blah..........they were in a bad marriage. Well, she did get a divorce so yeah, there were problems.

But............the point is,...... this mom kidnapped the child. She ran off to Brazil because she didn't want to work and was too chicken to tell her husband she wanted a divorce and her parents helped her run away. Plain and simple........fran

I thought the interview was great. David finally had an opportunity to show his emotions and speak his mind. The family that was on the CBS show -- well, I won't tell you what I really think. The fact that Bruna wasn't happy with her marriage really has zero bearing on this case. A year and a half after she abducted to Brazil with Sean, she filed papers in the NJ courts that David was a good guy and a wonderful father. She wasn't happy living in New Jersey and wanted to return to her native Brazil. She never made allegations of abuse or anything of that nature. All of that came about after she passed away and the family had to find something to throw at David to make him look like the bad guy. I have heard recently so much about how Bruna had to work and support the family. (GASP! She had to work! ) She was a school teacher - her work hours weren't terrible. The family would have you to believe that David didn't work, he was a bum...yada yada. Bruna complained that David's work hours were too long. He is a Captain at his/a Charter Boat Company. Of course they work long hourse. He was also modeling and doing real estate. They failed to mention her hours spent with the personal trainer and her acting lessons in NYC. If time spent away from Sean was so important to her, then when did she find the time to do all the extras?

The one thing that really irritated me in the interview with the Brazilian family was that Joao Paulo kept saying that Sean lived 60% of his life in Brazil. Actually it's 55% but of course he was never given an option of where he wanted to live when he was ripped away from his best buddy (aka his father). Did they listen to Sean's wishes when he was a 4 year old crying and begging to go home to his Daddy? Nope, Bruna made the decisions about what was best for her. She wanted to go back to Brazil where people knew her - her family is influential. She had help, IMHO.

Below is a recent article on this case:
New blow for dad with son in Brazil
http://www.nj.com/news/ledger/jersey/index.ssf?/base/news-14/1246194315288340.xml&coll=1

Some highlights from the article:

"To not be able to do anything is killing me," Goldman said yesterday, but added that his lawyer is at work on a "next step" and said he is trying to remain positive.

"There was a forty-something page report by Brazilian mental health experts," Goldman said, "The outcome of Sean's environment is that he is being mentally and psychologically abused," Goldman said

Earlier last week, the boy's maternal grandmother, Silvana Bianchi, told "The Early Show" on CBS that 9-year-old Sean has told her he doesn't want to leave them. (MY NOTE: This interview of Sean by CBS was in direct violation of the Brazilian Judges order. It was not aired because of an effort by BSH.org and David's attorney, Patricia Apy.)

Goldman denies that, saying that when he is able to speak to his son, the child begs him to come back with Goldman.
....
"When I'm able to visit him we're trapped in a common area in a condo," Goldman said adding that someone is posted nearby to monitor them and that person often is recording the conversation. "My son left there crying, screaming, missing me," he said.

 

[southcitymom]

You're talking law again...All I am saying is, the step father is the boy's psychological parent. It doesn't really matter what is legal. *I* would want whatever is best for my child.

I already said...my butt would be relocated in Brazil, I would have done it long ago.

I haven't followed this thread, but I read a lengthy article about this case a few weeks ago. I have to say that I am with you 100% here, Linda - I could give a flip about "legal" parent - the stepfather is this child's parent and if I were the Dad, I'd be in Brazil and I'd have been there a long time ago.

An aside - my BIL got a German au pair pregnant 13 years ago. She went back to Germany and he followed even though their personal romantic relationship had ended. He's been in Germany ever since because he wants to be present in his son's life.

The au pair has since remarried and had two more children with her husband and my BIL's son lives with his mother and stepfather. He is, of course, very close with his stepfather, but he also sees his father all the time and is close with him and travels back to the US with his father to see all of us here at least once a year.

I will add that my BIL does not like being in German - he would rather be back in the States for a number of reason. That said, in Germany he stays because more than his personal desires and comforts, he wants to know his son and he does not want to put is son in the middle of some gruesome legal tug of war.

I have immense respect for my BIL.