NV NV - Steven T. Koecher, 30, Henderson, 13 Dec 2009 - #12

[carbuff]

...and that might explain the "on-and-off" behavior we seem to see on the cell phone. With or without the "family tracking", they could see (within 48 hours), everyone's phone activity.

A stationary cell phone doesn't "hit" off a tower, unless it's turned off and on again. Why do I say that? Because if there was a trail of cell phone hits on Dec 12th, Naegle wouldn't have asked about the Overton ping -- right?

There's some family plan issues to think about:
You give up privacy when someone else is paying the bill.
Family plans allow unlimited talk between the "friends and family" YET didn't we read that his parents only called once a week?

If they have the same ATT plan as we do, you get a pool of minutes that all of you can use. It's not just friends-and-family; out of network calls are charged from the same pool. So it's not just how often he called them or they called him. Their calls to each other would also come out of that pool, as would their calls to other people.

Around here it's pretty common for adult children to be on the parents' plan, just for convenience.

 

[laytonian]

Did the driver of the SUV notice SK's car parked in the cul de sac when she drove around to park in front of her house/her mom's house? IMO in order to avoid hitting his car she would have had to see it. Did she notice another human being walking? IMO to at least glance at this person to see if he/she was on the sidewalk, or out of the street enough, so one wouldn't run him over with the car. No bloody way! I'm not buying it that the driver of the SUV didn't see Steven!

I'm sure she "saw" him, in that peripheral way you see someone walking down a sidewalk while you're driving down the street. But unless you're in an area where you know people, do you really look at them?

This is the last potential person to see Steven. That is a sure thing, as the SUV is on video. Did LE or the PI speak to this person on the telephone, or face to face? One would hope for a face to face considering the importance of a missing person.

I'm upset that there isn't any progress that we are aware of. I'm upset that LE isn't involved. What else? etc.

If LE has evidence that an adult went missing on their own accord, there's no crime to investigate. It's an open "missing persons" case, to be sure - but apparently the only people who see evidence of a crime, are the Koechers and their investigators. There's hints all over the place, but none have led to anything.

If LE had evidence, wouldn't they have issued warrants, searched other than in the hills, etc?

Damn this case. :banghead:

 

[carbuff]

Or maybe he was done with, whatever he did?

There are similar-themed events all over St George during the week we've tracked, that he could have attended.

This is a man who drove through SLC twice on late Dec 9th/Dec 10th (after he went to the temple), yet didn't stop to see his friends or family.

Unless there is evidence that he was I see the "break" with religion and family starting right there.

I think we need to look at the "dark side", which would be the secular, missing church, the searching, the desperate job-seeking, evasion.

Those things ARE part of a "dark side".

Everybody has a dark side, I agree. Everybody has things they'd rather their family didn't know about them -- that doesn't mean they're living a double life, only that they've grown up to be independent people.

 

[laytonian]

Everybody has a dark side, I agree. Everybody has things they'd rather their family didn't know about them -- that doesn't mean they're living a double life, only that they've grown up to be independent people.

Exactly.

That's why it bothers me, a bit, when his dad says there was no "dark side".

I think his dad is defining "dark" as "sinister, suspicious, against standards"....rather than "private and adult".

 

[sbakker]

I personally have known of some Mormon friends who go to the temple for "inspiration" and even personal "revelations from God". They are very sincere about it and take it very seriously. I know one single woman who told me that it was revealed to her in the temple that a widowed man she knew should marry her and that it was revealed to her by the deceased wife of the man. She told the widower and they were married. With this kind of belief system I think it might be possible that Steven had a very profound experience in the Mormon temple that night and felt he needed to act on it...whatever "it" may have been...

There are ward temple nights, stake temple nights, single ward temple nights, etc. Since there were other people from his ward, I am guessing it was a singles ward temple night. And usually the people with ward positions attend.

 

[ding174]

what if he didnt dump the car and had every intention of going back to it. and maybe not even on the same day but a day or two later and got delayed and when he came back for it - uh-oh ! my cars gone and my phones dead and what do i do now.
and then thought to himself "the repo guys must have found it so now i dont have a job, no car, locked out of my place, no wife, cell phone is dead, im a loser im ashamed so im not going to call mom or dad or even my friends etc etc etc . . .

 

[ThePhantom]

I have been very concerned about what his mental health may have been like -- I can see he was in a very difficult place in his life -- a very hard time for people his age. Still, I continue to hope he just decided to make a major life change, and will someday be found okay.

 

[laytonian]

I have been very concerned about what his mental health may have been like -- I can see he was in a very difficult place in his life -- a very hard time for people his age. Still, I continue to hope he just decided to make a major life change, and will someday be found okay.

I just realized, the other day, there was something else that may have depressed him: just after Steven turned 30, his brother and his wife welcomed their first child. Just another reminder......

Yet, MOST of us would think that if the pressure was removed (mostly the pressure he was putting on himself), if he just settled down and took a decent job....everything else would fall into place.

For some reason, he was chasing perfection.

 

[ThePhantom]

Perhaps even chasing a type of expected perfection he knew he could never obtain

 

[ThePhantom]

...and/or running away from the expected perfection

 

[Fairy1]

I just realized, the other day, there was something else that may have depressed him: just after Steven turned 30, his brother and his wife welcomed their first child. Just another reminder......

Yet, MOST of us would think that if the pressure was removed (mostly the pressure he was putting on himself), if he just settled down and took a decent job....everything else would fall into place.

For some reason, he was chasing perfection.

It is possible the pressure was coming from someone else or even multiple others. Maybe he couldn't figure out what should come first - the right girl or a good job. That may be something he revealed in his diary.

If you're a young LDS man, heavily involved in your own singles ward and exposed to other singles wards socially and you can't find the right girl, where else do you look?

 

[laytonian]

It is possible the pressure was coming from someone else or even multiple others. Maybe he couldn't figure out what should come first - the right girl or a good job. That may be something he revealed in his diary.

If you're a young LDS man, heavily involved in your own singles ward and exposed to other singles wards socially and you can't find the right girl, where else do you look?

Regular wards? He was quickly aging out of the singles ward scene - and in a regular (family) ward, a single would really stand out.

Breaking out of that religious mold may have been an answer, but at some point, he'd want the girl to convert so they could be married (sealed) in the temple. To do the opposite (leave the church) means you go through a church court.

When your entire family and church expects one thing, there's not a lot of room for deviaton. "We don't do that"....or "Steven wouldn't do that."

 

[Lato]

Regular wards? He was quickly aging out of the singles ward scene - and in a regular (family) ward, a single would really stand out.

I have wondered about the transition from the singles ward to a regular/family ward. How and when is this done? Would the bishop have
already told Steven that he will be moving on now that he is past 30...?
Does the single person have a choice to stay?

 

[Fairy1]

I have wondered about the transition from the singles ward to a regular/family ward. How and when is this done? Would the bishop have
already told Steven that he will be moving on now that he is past 30...?
Does the single person have a choice to stay?

I'm wondering about this too. Is it an age thing or a marital status thing? Would there have been any single women in the regular wards? I wouldn't think there are very many single people in the regular wards, right? Is there a negative stigma when someone "ages out" of their singles ward?

Maybe that was where the pressure was coming from - the clock was ticking and the potential for finding the "right" girl were about to go from bad to worse. Maybe that's what had him looking to his past (AN) and had him driving all over the place desperately searching for an answer.

Poor Steven. I find it hard to breathe just thinking about what his frame of mind may have been.

 

[laytonian]

I have wondered about the transition from the singles ward to a regular/family ward. How and when is this done? Would the bishop have
already told Steven that he will be moving on now that he is past 30...?
Does the single person have a choice to stay?

NotNosyObservant had a pithy answer to that question. Then we all chatted about it for awhile.

 

[Lato]

Since his religion was his life, was there anyone to counsel him. Some people cannot put into words what they are feeling...a counselor may be able to
get to those deeper feelings.

Didn't anyone think to say...."Steven, how are you doing with finances. I know you have not had a well paying job in months. Is your family helping you? If not, can we do something for you.

Who is paying your rent and utilities? How are you paying for food? Can we sit down and put a plan together? You have the education to work at a much higher level. Do you know what type job you would like? Have you interviewed with anyone in the past two weeks. If so, how did that go?"

And maybe all of that happened. But I think he has lost his ego-strength.
He does not believe in himself. He needs to do that to get the job that
will put him in a position to say to a girl that he wants to love and care for her. And he has the ability to do that...! I hope it's not too late.

 

[rd_jfc]

On considering if he was attending events or sites, some things come to mind: one is that comment that he left a church meeting rather abruptly the week before on Monday night, uncommon enough to cmment on it. I just wonder if that was totally unrelated or a harbinger of things to come in the following days.

Another is receiving $100 from the owner of the window washing venture. Given that he launched nearly non-stop driving until he disappeared affter receiving it, it could be either that he had some gas money now for some trips he wanted to make, or that something was said that motivated him good or bad to take urgent action, as in he had to change his life.

$100 is some gas money, but it also runs out pretty quick.

I am just wondering what was said when he was paid, whether it was totally routine and expected or much less than expected and made him realize he had to take drastic action on changing direction in his life. I hate to put somebody in the spotlight to answer or evade answering what really happened or at least confirm everything was normal, expected, and ongoing in his participation in the venture. While at it I hope he can answer my questions from the other day about SK's work logistics (I assume he washed windows as well as handing out the fliers). He is probably the only one that knows.

rd

 

[RubyRed]

Those are all good questions Lato, but sadly I think it is to late.

 

[Fairy1]

Since his religion was his life, was there anyone to counsel him. Some people cannot put into words what they are feeling...a counselor may be able to
get to those deeper feelings.

Didn't anyone think to say...."Steven, how are you doing with finances. I know you have not had a well paying job in months. Is your family helping you? If not, can we do something for you.

Who is paying your rent and utilities? How are you paying for food? Can we sit down and put a plan together? You have the education to work at a much higher level. Do you know what type job you would like? Have you interviewed with anyone in the past two weeks. If so, how did that go?"

And maybe all of that happened. But I think he has lost his ego-strength.
He does not believe in himself. He needs to do that to get the job that
will put him in a position to say to a girl that he wants to love and care for her. And he has the ability to do that...! I hope it's not too late.

I'm guessing his church leaders wouldn't know Steven needed help unless he told them. He didn't tell his own family, so it seems unlikely anyone knew the true extent of his troubles.

But, we do know his Bishop was going to help him find work after the first of the year, so I suppose he shared something with them.

 

[rd_jfc]

Also it is clear SK is carrying something under his arm in the video, and I think it is totally unreasonable that he is carrying some kind of overnight bag for running away while leaving coats and blankets in his car.

If he's not carrying an overnightbag to run away, then he's carrying something to meet someone.

Or I guess some might say he's carrying something to meet someone to run away and deliberately left things in his car to fool people, leave messages like with the Christmas gifts, etc.

I think the more strained the logic, the less likely it happened that way. And that kind of stuff strains belief.

rd