Found Deceased NY - Jennifer Ramsaran, 36, Chenango County, 11 Dec 2012 - #13

[Jilllian]

plus:
Officer Layman
Sgt. Shoals
Deputy Hayner

whoops - and the Y employee who dialed the phone for GR to call for a ride...

 

[Solus]

Since I've been here I have spent a lot of time with ES. I've also learned a lot about a side of GR that I never saw in 18 years. I know everyone here had the foresight to recognize he was a dirtbag and would have never fallen for his lies. Those of us who did were just naive. GR had a way of taking a partial truth and turning it to a convincing lie. For example I knew Jen played games, there wasn't a reason to suspect GR of lying when he said she was spending too much time on it. Remember though our histories with GR go back much longer than this brief time that you have been aware of him.

ES made a mistake, I know most of you on here have never done anything your not proud of. In most of your eyes and comments it is an unforgivable mistake to fall for your friends spouse. GR saw a weakness in ES and exploited it. He was attentive, complimentary and encouraging. Again traits that none of you would ever fall for. I can't blame ES for not wanting to testify. Besides carrying a tremendous amount of guilt and having everyone insist you were complicit with what happened. You are going to have to share the most personal aspects of your sexual life for the world. If you have never testified before, it's not as easy as just telling the truth. You are prepped that you can't say what you,ve heard that it is hearsay, you can only say admissions. You have 50 plus people staring at you. Your trying to remember exact events from several years ago. The same question asked several ways just trying to catch you slip. So your not only remembering and making sure it is phrased right, but that are remembering verbatim cause it's getting recorded and you'll have to repeat several times. It's not simply saying the truth or yes and no. At the same time your remembering the pain that has been caused and seeing it on Jen's parents face. ES is not this monster that was involved with the murder of Jen. She had an affair that she is has not only felt guilty about, but is reminded every day by strangers. Her kids, family are also reminded by others every day. I know y'all would never do that. It's inconceivable that anyone could do that in your eyes. ES has to live with that. She'll never have a chance to try and apologize, because of what GR did.

I'm not saying to feel sorry for her, but there isn't a need to keep proclaiming that she is lying on the stand and trying to cover it up.

I'm just to blame as she is. You want to blame someone use my name. It's Jason Wicks.

 

[zwiebel]

Since I've been here I have spent a lot of time with ES. I've also learned a lot about a side of GR that I never saw in 18 years. I know everyone here had the foresight to recognize he was a dirtbag and would have never fallen for his lies. Those of us who did were just naive. GR had a way of taking a partial truth and turning it to a convincing lie. For example I knew Jen played games, there wasn't a reason to suspect GR of lying when he said she was spending too much time on it. Remember though our histories with GR go back much longer than this brief time that you have been aware of him.

ES made a mistake, I know most of you on here have never done anything your not proud of. In most of your eyes and comments it is an unforgivable mistake to fall for your friends spouse. GR saw a weakness in ES and exploited it. He was attentive, complimentary and encouraging. Again traits that none of you would ever fall for. I can't blame ES for not wanting to testify. Besides carrying a tremendous amount of guilt and having everyone insist you were complicit with what happened. You are going to have to share the most personal aspects of your sexual life for the world. If you have never testified before, it's not as easy as just telling the truth. You are prepped that you can't say what you,ve heard that it is hearsay, you can only say admissions. You have 50 plus people staring at you. Your trying to remember exact events from several years ago. The same question asked several ways just trying to catch you slip. So your not only remembering and making sure it is phrased right, but that are remembering verbatim cause it's getting recorded and you'll have to repeat several times. It's not simply saying the truth or yes and no. At the same time your remembering the pain that has been caused and seeing it on Jen's parents face. ES is not this monster that was involved with the murder of Jen. She had an affair that she is has not only felt guilty about, but is reminded every day by strangers. Her kids, family are also reminded by others every day. I know y'all would never do that. It's inconceivable that anyone could do that in your eyes. ES has to live with that. She'll never have a chance to try and apologize, because of what GR did.

I'm not saying to feel sorry for her, but there isn't a need to keep proclaiming that she is lying on the stand and trying to cover it up.

I'm just to blame as she is. You want to blame someone use my name. It's Jason Wicks.

Total respect for you.

But if you'd been helping look after Remy's kids in those terrible days, would you have stood by and let him torment her parents by forbidding the children's contact with them? Eileen did. And she was probably the only person who had an ounce of influence with him at the time.

 

[Solus]

Total respect for you.

But if you'd been helping look after Remy's kids in those terrible days, would you have stood by and let him torment her parents by forbidding the children's contact with them? Eileen did. And she was probably the only person who had an ounce of influence with him at the time.

What makes you think ES could have controlled him. He gave a compelling lie as to why they couldn't see the kids. His version of events was different from Jen's parents. Yes we should have known he was lying, but didn't. There are other parts of the story and relationship with her parents that goes back years. That is what made the lie seem true. Yes I should have known, but it didn't.

 

[Solus]

Also Z. I have a lot of respect for you and what you have done for Jen's children. I quoted you, but I respect you a lot.

 

[Jilllian]

Since I've been here I have spent a lot of time with ES. I've also learned a lot about a side of GR that I never saw in 18 years. I know everyone here had the foresight to recognize he was a dirtbag and would have never fallen for his lies. Those of us who did were just naive. GR had a way of taking a partial truth and turning it to a convincing lie. For example I knew Jen played games, there wasn't a reason to suspect GR of lying when he said she was spending too much time on it. Remember though our histories with GR go back much longer than this brief time that you have been aware of him.

ES made a mistake, I know most of you on here have never done anything your not proud of. In most of your eyes and comments it is an unforgivable mistake to fall for your friends spouse. GR saw a weakness in ES and exploited it. He was attentive, complimentary and encouraging. Again traits that none of you would ever fall for. I can't blame ES for not wanting to testify. Besides carrying a tremendous amount of guilt and having everyone insist you were complicit with what happened. You are going to have to share the most personal aspects of your sexual life for the world. If you have never testified before, it's not as easy as just telling the truth. You are prepped that you can't say what you,ve heard that it is hearsay, you can only say admissions. You have 50 plus people staring at you. Your trying to remember exact events from several years ago. The same question asked several ways just trying to catch you slip. So your not only remembering and making sure it is phrased right, but that are remembering verbatim cause it's getting recorded and you'll have to repeat several times. It's not simply saying the truth or yes and no. At the same time your remembering the pain that has been caused and seeing it on Jen's parents face. ES is not this monster that was involved with the murder of Jen. She had an affair that she is has not only felt guilty about, but is reminded every day by strangers. Her kids, family are also reminded by others every day. I know y'all would never do that. It's inconceivable that anyone could do that in your eyes. ES has to live with that. She'll never have a chance to try and apologize, because of what GR did.

I'm not saying to feel sorry for her, but there isn't a need to keep proclaiming that she is lying on the stand and trying to cover it up.

I'm just to blame as she is. You want to blame someone use my name. It's Jason Wicks.

OMG! Say it isn't so. She got to YOU too???

 

[Solus]

I'm not innocent on this I wondered if ES was involved. The things I had heard didn't make sense when compared to what GR told me. When I was able to hear what really happened, they made sense to me. I've had to apologize to ES for some of the terrible things I've thought of her. But I've learned she has a good heart. No one can understand how sorry she is about the affair. I'm guilty of pushing it also. We never contemplated this as a possible outcome.

 

[zwiebel]

Also Z. I have a lot of respect for you and what you have done for Jen's children. I quoted you, but I respect you a lot.

Don't worry. I hardly ever take offence. And I have a murderer just like this in my own family too, so I DO understand. He fooled us all, for so long. That's why I'm so uppity about looking charming killers (and those who support them) right in the eye and calling them out.

My family member did try and kill a second woman, after he killed his wife. She knew his history. She was his probation officer.

 

[zwiebel]

Actually, I get really, really, upset thinking about how we never searched for my missing family member because her murderer convinced us not to, when I was just a young teen. That's why I'm here on WS. I've heard all the justifications in the world but they don't excuse anything.

[modsnip] Like I am.

 

[yupikgirl]

I don't understand Eileen saying she still loves him? Then to say she used "I love you" to get the truth. I'm super tired maybe I'm not reading it right???


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[Solus]

Well said, and I agree.

No reason to support him now. She still "loves" him and imo she is still supporting him.

Disgusted

No she does not love or support him. She was never allowed to finish answering that question.

 

[yupikgirl]

I understand she may have been "fooled" by remy, but I will not excuse her for even considering an affair. That is horrible and worse since Jen was her friend. Nobody forces you to have an affair. I get the being taken advantage of or whatever it is he did, but deciding to have a long term affair. No. Just no.


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[zwiebel]

I'm not saying to feel sorry for her. Stating she was implicit is too much. I supported G also. I loved GR also. What he did was unforgivable. Yes, maybe I'm not right in the head. But that doesn't mean we were covering it up

No, I don't think you were covering up. I am not so certain about Eileen though, to be honest.

 

[yupikgirl]

No she does not love or support him. She was never allowed to finish answering that question.

Thank you! That quote was confusing and it seems she said "yes" in that yes she did still love him.


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[Solus]

Actually, I get really, really, upset thinking about how we never searched for my missing family member because her murderer convinced us not to, when I was just a young teen. That's why I'm here on WS. I've heard all the justifications in the world but they don't excuse anything.

Eileen needs to face the truth and make amends, in my opinion. Like I am.

This is an assumption that she is not. She apologized to Jen's sister. She would like to apologize to her parents.

 

[epiphany]

"One question that bothered me that I could not finish my reply to was 'if I still loved him,' and my answer was yes," Sayles wrote. "And if able to finish my answer, I would have told them that regrettably I used those words 'I love you' to find the truth in so many lies.

http://www.wbng.com/news/local/Mother-in-law-testifies-in-murder-trial-274340721.html

What am I not understanding? She still loves him.

 

[zwiebel]

No she does not love or support him. She was never allowed to finish answering that question.

This is an assumption that she is not. She apologized to Jen's sister. She would like to apologize to her parents.

I think she should start activating/running for missing people, the way she's done for other good causes. Seemed to be really successful. I'd support that, 100 per cent.

 

[Solus]

I understand she may have been "fooled" by remy, but I will not excuse her for even considering an affair. That is horrible and worse since Jen was her friend. Nobody forces you to have an affair. I get the being taken advantage of or whatever it is he did, but deciding to have a long term affair. No. Just no.


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Exactly my point. Imagine for just a second to have done something to hurt someone and never be able to find any forgiveness no matter what you do. Don't worry she will have a whole town to point it out to her forever

 

[yupikgirl]

Yes epiphany that's why I was confused.


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[Solus]

<modsnip>
They know about the affair. How would you like to explain in front of Jen's parents, the media and all those people on which date you had sex, where did you have sex and even for how long.