Found Deceased NY - Jennifer Ramsaran, 36, Chenango County, 11 Dec 2012 - # 2

[krey]

bbm..... but YES!
there are 3 kids to keep things as "normal" as possible until an actual or more sufficent pin of evidence can be placed on that donkey. MOO / IMHO

o/t thanks for the welcome Krey! a little nervous about the rules & such but happy to be here nonetheless! :great:

You'll do fine!! They won't kick you out if you accidently break a rule or two in the beginning And if you have any questions, we're all here to help. Glad to have you!

 

[fringles]

Missing page says they are removing photo's from JR's FB that do not have permission - JR put them there so to me that is her permission. Nobody has permission to remove them except her. Isn't this a breech of privacy? Some of the removed photo's are of food - why remove them?

Yes I think it's odd. I can see, how if I had a family member who was missing and people on the Internet were all over their Facebook it might make me feel a little strange. However I think I'd try to see it as 'for the greater good' in that at least people were interested. I do see why they wouldn't want pics of the kids distributed widely but they could've just removed those ones.

Times when I remember seeing this happen before were when the FB pics were at odds with the image of the person the family wanted presented - mostly because it made them out to be less of a 'good person' - that's also an impulse I can understand as I know it's harder to get publicity for a missing person who is living a so-called 'risky' life (though I personally think that's extremely unfair) - that's obviously not the case here but I guess it's possible it's a similar thing - where somehow the pics arent fitting the 'image' they want to present?

 

[krey]

There are now many posts on the Missing Person fb page from people reaching out directly to Jennifer, telling her that it's okay to come home. I can't imagine why no one started doing this 5 weeks ago, but at least they're doing it now.

My feelings have totally flip-flopped again, and I do believe it's possible that she ran away. But I also still believe that the other theory is entirely possible. Sigh........... really don't know what to think.

 

[krey]

Has anyone here read Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn?? If you have, no spoilers please!! for those who haven't read it Awesome book, and I highly recommend it!

The reason I ask is b/c it's fitting to this case - it's about a husband whose wife goes missing.

 

[SouthAussie]

There are now many posts on the Missing Person fb page from people reaching out directly to Jennifer, telling her that it's okay to come home. I can't imagine why no one started doing this 5 weeks ago, but at least they're doing it now.

My feelings have totally flip-flopped again, and I do believe it's possible that she ran away. But I also still believe that the other theory is entirely possible. Sigh........... really don't know what to think.

I flip flop too krey. I can equally see that Jennifer may have run away from her home situation as any other theory.

Controlling husband … perhaps controlling every facet of her life … how to raise the children, what meals to make, if she could work outside the home and earn her own money if she wanted to, her personal activities

Egotistical husband …. indignant .. ‘she wouldn’t leave me, all the ladies love me’ (including her best friend? … double deception and hurt)

Her family keeping pretty quiet through this …. do they know her home life and suspect she could run from it, perhaps they know she is not strong enough to stand up to the husband, or is verbally beaten down when she tries

Police discouraging public from searching … they may strongly suspect she ran, have done some searching themselves, and are concerned about public safety … searching (perhaps futilely, they think) in winter conditions

Leaving phone and car … ‘and you can have the darn car and phone you bought for me to use too!’

It is hard to imagine leaving your children, but as much as you love them, perhaps when your life is s**t and you have no control over anything to do with them anyway ….

May be totally off-base, but these thoughts do enter my mind.

 

[LolaAngelina]

Missing page says they are removing photo's from JR's FB that do not have permission - JR put them there so to me that is her permission. Nobody has permission to remove them except her. Isn't this a breech of privacy? Some of the removed photo's are of food - why remove them?

BBM, Yep exactly what I posted before. Would love to know the answer to that

 

[LolaAngelina]

There are now many posts on the Missing Person fb page from people reaching out directly to Jennifer, telling her that it's okay to come home. I can't imagine why no one started doing this 5 weeks ago, but at least they're doing it now.

My feelings have totally flip-flopped again, and I do believe it's possible that she ran away. But I also still believe that the other theory is entirely possible. Sigh........... really don't know what to think.

Yep funny how there was a post here the other day (might have even been you Krey?) about how we have never seen a plea from the husband and now there it is on the page.:waitasec:

 

[LolaAngelina]

Yes I think it's odd. I can see, how if I had a family member who was missing and people on the Internet were all over their Facebook it might make me feel a little strange. However I think I'd try to see it as 'for the greater good' in that at least people were interested. I do see why they wouldn't want pics of the kids distributed widely but they could've just removed those ones.

Times when I remember seeing this happen before were when the FB pics were at odds with the image of the person the family wanted presented - mostly because it made them out to be less of a 'good person' - that's also an impulse I can understand as I know it's harder to get publicity for a missing person who is living a so-called 'risky' life (though I personally think that's extremely unfair) - that's obviously not the case here but I guess it's possible it's a similar thing - where somehow the pics arent fitting the 'image' they want to present?

Fringles, I think I know the case you are talking about. Racheal M, right? Aspects of this have def. reminded me of that case.
In the case the family/friends knew a lot more than they were saying to the public or police. Hence when people asked questions they didnt want to answer they were blocked from the page and the page was eventually shut down.
There was no interviews/pleas from the family etc. The mother even complained when media were outside her house. Wanting them just to go away instead of doing as much media as possible to bring her daughter home.
Of course I dont believe this will have the same ending (Rachael not being missing at all, having run away due to being associated with criminal elements).

 

[imamaze]

Lavanda has explained the poster, if you have questions or would like to give some suggestions that is fine. If you have questions about the case and Lavanda can answer them she will when she's here. Discuss the case and don't talk about anyone as a suspect at this time.

Social Media unless its from main stream media is considered rumor and not to be discussed here.


We are a victim friendly forum, this includes the family and husband. No one has been named a person of interest or suspect so we will not accuse, sleuth, or discuss anyone as a suspect.


If FB has been set to private then its private and not to be discussed.


If you have questions you can pm me or any of the Mods, we are all happy to help.


Ima

ETA - some clarification on what can be discussed.

 

[terracotta]

<Mod Snip>
Friends and family who know her say her family was everything. It would seem to take a VERY strong person to walk away from everything they know and have and start a new life...it is just silly. She definitely didn't leave on her own...it is all presentation.

Any news on searches by SAR or LE by any locals?

 

[PennyFlower]

I wish I knew what side of the road her phone was found. Left or right traveling west/east. Has that been communicated? I don't know why - I just want to know.

If it was found on the right side of the road; and we presume she had ditched the van and got in the car with someone else traveling west out of town, then we can hypothesize that SHE, the passenger, threw the phone out the passenger window.

If the phone was found on the left side of the road and we presume, again, she was in someone else's vehicle then most likely the driver threw it out the driver side window.

If the phone was found on the right side of the road (traveling West); and we presume she was traveling east back into town, then it was most likely tosssed from the drivers side.

Etc., etc.

Come home Jen!

 

[terracotta]

Thank you imamaze...I tried to delete the whole thing sorry.

 

[PennyFlower]

<Mod Snip>
Friends and family who know her say her family was everything. It would seem to take a VERY strong person to walk away from everything they know and have and start a new life...it is just silly. She definitely didn't leave on her own...it is all presentation.

Any news on searches by SAR or LE by any locals?

You'd be very very surprised! People would say the same about me and I certainly portray that - but a few short years ago I would have walked away from it all. I didn't only because I figured I would be found anyway and have to come back to it all - what was the point. Its a very desperate situation. No matter how much you love your family - and sometimes its out of love for your family, because that's what you think. The mind is powerful.

I love my family dearly. Thank goodness for my husband who recognized my desperation and got me help. If that had not happened I shudder to think what I might have done.

Sorry for the confessional. Just trying to bring to light that things are not always as they seem.

 

[SouthAussie]

I had a friend some years ago who up and left her husband and three young boys, and we all knew her boys meant everything to her at the time. She left with another man, didn’t tell anyone she was going, and left everything behind.

When I spoke with her many months later, she said that she had no say in the household, her husband overrode everything she said to her boys, so much so that the boys stopped regarding anything she said. She certainly wasn’t a strong person either, but the other man gave her the strength to rebuild her life.

Eventually she made contact with her boys and started a relationship with them again. But she never took custody of them again, just saw them from time to time.

As I said, I’m probably way off-base, but this case has many similarities to my old friend.

 

[Jilllian]

<Mod Snip>
Friends and family who know her say her family was everything. It would seem to take a VERY strong person to walk away from everything they know and have and start a new life...it is just silly. She definitely didn't leave on her own...it is all presentation.

Any news on searches by SAR or LE by any locals?

haven't heard any news locally.

hypothetically, i can see a woman leaving a dominant, overbearing narcissistic husband, out of desperation. but if she did, she would have had to plan it. i mean, if she were to do it "right."' like, save money over a long period of time, depositing it into an out of town bank and having any statements sent to a PO box created for that sole purpose, for example. and not telling *anyone*. i can't see her leaving willingly without any money (or her meds). and reports have said that her bank cards have not been used, which begs the still unanswered question of "where's her purse?"

what i can't see is a woman leaving her children willingly. if she did, i can't imagine her doing so in a sound mental/emotional state. but she could have. women have been known to do that. but statistics are against it.

the pleas of "please come back home jennifer" on jenniferramsaran.com, indicate that *some* family members (or really, hypothetically just one) believe she's out there, has internet access, and can read what's being posted. but the public has seen no indication or reports of this.

if there's any indication that she left willingly, then why such strong reactions by GR and the police (published in MSM) against public searches? and why no news conference to say "we think she left willingly?" seems like, as one other poster mentioned previously, that if our local communities have a monster out there somewhere, that LE is obligated to tell us, right?

this case spins in 4 different directions (her leaving willingly and being out there somewhere, safe and sound, a spouse having something to do with her disappearance, her meeting someone online and meeting foul play, or her going shopping and meeting foul play).

 

[Jilllian]

I wish I knew what side of the road her phone was found. Left or right traveling west/east. Has that been communicated? I don't know why - I just want to know.

If it was found on the right side of the road; and we presume she had ditched the van and got in the car with someone else traveling west out of town, then we can hypothesize that SHE, the passenger, threw the phone out the passenger window.

If the phone was found on the left side of the road and we presume, again, she was in someone else's vehicle then most likely the driver threw it out the driver side window.

If the phone was found on the right side of the road (traveling West); and we presume she was traveling east back into town, then it was most likely tosssed from the drivers side.

Etc., etc.

Come home Jen!

it appears to have been tossed out the driver's side of the van.

 

[mijamawi]

You'd be very very surprised! People would say the same about me and I certainly portray that - but a few short years ago I would have walked away from it all. I didn't only because I figured I would be found anyway and have to come back to it all - what was the point. Its a very desperate situation. No matter how much you love your family - and sometimes its out of love for your family, because that's what you think. The mind is powerful.

I love my family dearly. Thank goodness for my husband who recognized my desperation and got me help. If that had not happened I shudder to think what I might have done.

Sorry for the confessional. Just trying to bring to light that things are not always as they seem.

Aww, PennyFlower, that took a lot to admit and I applaud you for bringing this to people's attention. Everyone sees what others want them to see, so there's no telling how Jennifer really felt. While I tend to lean towards an involuntary disappearance, there's always things like this to keep in mind.

I'm glad you have a supportive husband who was able to realize you needed some help.

 

[krey]

Looks like a certain "best friend" posted something on the Missing Person page, if anyone wants to go look.

(hope I'm not breaking the rules here! trying to be careful. I didn't quote or discuss anything, and it's a public missing person's page, so hopefully I'm in the clear)

 

[Sharoneonta]

PennyFlower, thank you for being so brave and sharing your story.

 

[Sharoneonta]

what i can't see is a woman leaving her children willingly. if she did, i can't imagine her doing so in a sound mental/emotional state. but she could have. women have been known to do that. but statistics are against it.

(Snipped for space)

Can you point me toward the statistics? Thanks in advance.