Found Deceased NY - Jennifer Ramsaran, 36, Chenango County, 11 Dec 2012 - # 2

[epiphany]

All that weight loss, holidays approaching, mid-30 yo female: $300. on clothing "just for herself."

What's the problem here?

Two new outfits for Mommy? Three or more outfits at $300.?

Give. Me. A. Break.

Second-hand only for Jennifer? Brand new for everyone else?

 

[epiphany]

You guys beat me to it!

EXACTLY!

 

[epiphany]

Yep. I've had this done actually. I got a new ring afterward though.

For all we know, that may have been the "special gift" for Remy she wanted to purchase for Xmas.

 

[Sharoneonta]

If you felt like your partner left, why not just say it?
This thought is stuck in my head.

 

[MissieMt]

Thanks to everyone who posted about the ring cutter. I had no idea they had a special tool for that, but I've thankfully never been in a situation that needed something like that.

 

[Piperdog]

Sorry to be blowing up this thread but here's another one I want to discuss:


I can't speak for anybody but myself but if I spent $300 on clothes and I decided to take off a week later, I sure as heck would be bringing all my nice new clothes with me.

Who knows, maybe she did...

 

[Sharoneonta]

If you felt like your partner left, why not just say it?
This thought is stuck in my head.

Again, treading lightly as I'm not completely clear on what's acceptable. I, personally, wouldn't allude to thinking my partner left, I'd just SAY IT. I'd probably include that I was open to other possibilities and that I certainly hope and pray that there was no foul play but I'd be blunt if I thought my partner left me.
That's just me, I'm blunt.

 

[fringles]

Who knows, maybe she did...

True. However, we've had no statement from LE saying there is any sign she left on her own. If new clothes were missing, surely we would've had this statement? Unless of course she was wearing them all that day, in which case it wouldn't mean much either way I wouldn't think.

 

[MissieMt]

Who knows, maybe she did...

You're right, she very well may have. But I'm pretty sure if she had taken extra clothing with her (especially clothes he's already talking about) GR would have made a point to bring that up too, since he's talking about or at least alluding to, every other reason he thinks she took off.
I also don't think that $300 would only buy one outfit (that a couple people have suggested she may have been wearing that day). Odds are she didn't go on those clothes shopping "sprees" often or he wouldn't have brought it up. And if you don't buy clothes often you are certainly going to buy more than one outfit if you're spending $300.

 

[IHAVENOCLUE]

“If you could just jot this down for me — the kids miss their mom, and I miss her, too,” he said. “The kids miss their old mom, not the one that was here the last six or nine months when she went through all the different changes.”

WOW....really....he is basically saying the kids don't miss thier mom. This speaks volumes.

What an incredibly thoughtless thing to say regarding a missing spouse...

And I believe... There may have been a most unsettling event that arose during that time he refers to that may have involved his behaviors... And could have an impact on her frame of mind...

But... Of course... He won't share any of that....

:banghead:

 

[epiphany]

What was she wearing the day she went missing since we have recently learned from husband that one of the alarming changes of behavior Jennifer began exhibiting was that "she started dressing up every time she left the home?"

Found it.

From Missing Poster: wearing blue jeans, purple blue top, black jacket

Again. How about shoes she was wearing?

Is a pair of heels missing? What jewelry, if any was she wearing? What's dressed up?

IOW, either she dressed up "every time she left the home" or she didn't.

 

[Sharoneonta]

She lost 20 pounds. She needed new clothes. I don't understand the need for this information and I don't understand the need to point out the dollar amount.

 

[mikkismom]

She lost 20 pounds. She needed new clothes. I don't understand the need for this information and I don't understand the need to point out the dollar amount.

I know that 10 pounds either way on me changes my clothing size.

jmo

 

[Sharoneonta]

Does "dressing up" equivocate to her wearing her new clothes, the ones that fit her?

 

[epiphany]

She lost 20 pounds. She needed new clothes. I don't understand the need for this information and I don't understand the need to point out the dollar amount.

Especially when it could be alternately perceived that these behavioral changes: $300. worth of "brand-new clothing just for herself" and "new haircut" could be viewed as Jennifer's attempts to align with husband's interests, to renew her marriage or herself, etc.

For example:

- he's very into working out and fitness, and therefore weight

- he appears well-dressed and is wearing ready-for-interview clothing on video clips

- his hairstyle is meticulous and appears recently maintained on video clips

 

[Hexe]

She lost 20 pounds. She needed new clothes. I don't understand the need for this information and I don't understand the need to point out the dollar amount.

Well I feel it was to show these drastic changes, you know, she spent so much money and OMG, all of it on herself! The problem is someone has really original views on what is a drastic change and how a normal maried woman should behave.

 

[fringles]

Does "dressing up" equivocate to her wearing her new clothes, the ones that fit her?

Y'know what would've made sense? This quote or something like it:

'She was buying new clothes and taking more care with her appearance, as she was so happy to have lost some weight that she'd been struggling with for a while.'

Instead we have miles of weird stuff about 'healthy' weightloss, $300, her children hating her and her not cooking anymore. I'm trying not to get too snarky about it but it's just really frustrating, I don't understand how a husband claiming to be brokenhearted about the loss of his wife is coming out with this stuff.

 

[IHAVENOCLUE]

I would say that husband is dangling use of diet/weight loss pills leading to rapid weight loss and negative behavioral changes:

Snipped

“Before she went missing, she lost 20 pounds,” he said. “Let’s just say it was not the healthy way (to lose weight).”

Snipped

“There were lots of behavioral changes,” he said. “I was so proud of her that she was 190.”

Asked if his wife was taking any medications, the husband said, “Let’s not talk about medication.”

http://thedailystar.com/localnews/x1525009601/Missing-womans-husband-speaks

Also, more implying by husband that he's got a secret, but he cannot tell.

If you can't reveal the secret, don't announce you have one.

And... I still can't help but wonder if he used any "unhealthy" means to bulk up... Himself? :waitasec:

JMO

 

[epiphany]

Yep. I think he liked the heavy stay at home Mom that had a few friends. Not the slimmer, primmed, and social Jennifer she was becoming. I am sure he bullied her.

Personally, I do not think there was any overt bullying. If any, subtle and covert and private insinuations to her, a gradual chipping away at her self-esteem-particularly centered around her weight issues.

 

[MissieMt]

"started dressing up every time she left home" in my mind that's just kind of a "Duh" thing after a woman loses 20 pounds. It's called confidence, and we gain more with every pound we lose.
On the other hand, I can see why this could be alarming to some men. A woman who has been overweight for many years finally starts losing weight.....some men might wonder "who she is losing it for" because in his mind it obviously isn't him if she's been that way for many years. And with weight loss comes the inevitable new clothing.....some men may wonder "who she is dressing up for", it's obviously not him because she hasn't done it in many years. And with the weight loss and new clothes comes a new hair cut, etc. etc. It just kind of snowballs.
For her, it's all about getting her self confidence back. But to a man, it's all about this imaginary "other" that must be in the picture. They don't realize that the imaginary "other" is just the Jennifer that has always been there, but was always hidden behind self doubt and poor self image.