GUILTY NY - Kenneth White, 5, Berne, 18 Dec 2014

[Jilllian]

I totally agree. Even after reading the descriptions I didn't understand how this would be civil and not criminal, other than maybe the lower burden of proof. I wonder if additional criminal charges might be coming at some point.

Yes, exactly!

 

[Jilllian]

Just watched the funeral clip here: http://albany.twcnews.com/content/n...-to-say-goodbye-to-5-year-old-taken-too-soon/

Did Kenneth's mom seriously wear jeans to his funeral? Jeeeez!!

 

[LAMARQ]

Just watched the funeral clip here: http://albany.twcnews.com/content/n...-to-say-goodbye-to-5-year-old-taken-too-soon/

Did Kenneth's mom seriously wear jeans to his funeral? Jeeeez!!

This family couldn't afford to keep their own kids so I don't expect them to afford appropriate clothing. My brother always wears jeans even to events that aren't typically deemed appropriate. It has nothing to do with being able to afford something more appropriate because he can afford it. I've learned over the years to appreciate him and others just being there and don't care what they wear.

Sent from my KFAPWI using Tapatalk

 

[Jilllian]

This family couldn't afford to keep their own kids so I don't expect them to afford appropriate clothing. My brother always wears jeans even to events that aren't typically deemed appropriate. It has nothing to do with being able to afford something more appropriate because he can afford it. I've learned over the years to appreciate him and others just being there and don't care what they wear.

Sent from my KFAPWI using Tapatalk

Good for you. You're a bigger person than me. I find this highly disrespectful for a mother to wear jeans to her own child's funeral. JMO

Also, I didn't know the children were taken away because the family was broke. I thought it had to do with CPS charges.

 

[MzOpinion8d]

I work for a foster care agency in the area and though I can't tell you whether or not these children are in our care, I can tell you that if they are, they are being well taken care of by very loving people. We also have what are called "therapeutic foster homes" for children dealing with some deep emotional stuff.

In terms of civil and criminal charges as they pertain to child protective services, most cases are handled in family court, and deal with civil charges, if that's even the right term. Even when things are serious enough for a TPR (termination of parental rights), the charges are addressed in family court. I've testified numerous times in these cases and only a handful of times have the parents been charged criminally. If BV had not been the legal guardian of the children in her care, the charges would more likely have been criminal. CPS charges of inadequate guardianship, lack of supervision, and neglect are the most common in natre (the latter less so), even in severe cases - most all handled in family court.

Crazy, right?

Thanks for sharing your expertise with us! I'm not asking for specifics about this family but the situation is what brings about my question, which is if it's typical to have situations where some children stay with the bio parent(s) while other children are removed? It seems so strange to me that the dad had two of their kids but the other 3 had been essentially farmed out.

 

[Tssiemer]

I worked for a foster care agency and provided therapy to the children in therapeutic foster care. I saw each child for 2 hours a week in their homes and at school. The foster parents had attend 100s of hours of training and then like 40 hours annually to keep their certification.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Jilllian]

Thanks for sharing your expertise with us! I'm not asking for specifics about this family but the situation is what brings about my question, which is if it's typical to have situations where some children stay with the bio parent(s) while other children are removed? It seems so strange to me that the dad had two of their kids but the other 3 had been essentially farmed out.

Yes, it does happen, though I wouldn't say it's typical. Sometimes kids have emotional or developmental disabilities that a parent either can't or doesn't want to deal with, so that specific child is either placed in kinship foster care, or non-kinship foster care. I've seen times where biological parent(s) have custody of children the CPS allegations didn't pertain to, believe it or not, since most would think any harm to one child is cause for ALL children to be removed. I've seen lots of cases were there have been numerous TPRs, and the mother keeps giving birth to another, only to be able to keep the new baby.

Kenneth's best bet was to be ignored by each of his parents for 18 consecutive months of a 24-month period, enabling social services to terminate their rights altogether, thus allowing this little guy the chance to be raised by a loving family.

I'm curious to know what kind of stipend, if any, BV was receiving for each of the three children, aside from SNAP benefits and possible rental assistance. She's listed as their legal guardian, so she wasn't technically fostering them, as far as I know, but it seems to be a lot of work (and expense) to "volunteer." If any of the children received SSI, then as legal guardian, she could have been collecting over $700/mo. for each of them. Not saying there was a financial motive to care for three young children, two adults, plus herself, but if I had to guess... JMO

 

[LAMARQ]

Good for you. You're a bigger person than me. I find this highly disrespectful for a mother to wear jeans to her own child's funeral. JMO

Also, I didn't know the children were taken away because the family was broke. I thought it had to do with CPS charges.

I would never wear jeans myself, but I don't judge others who do. People wear jeans to church all the time and I was always shocked at that.

I don't know if money was an issue in keeping the children in this case, but the dad can't even afford to get a bigger apartment so I'm sure they don't have a lot to spare.

I'm not defending these parents and think this whole situation is sickening. Kenneth and his siblings deserved so much better. I got one look forward to more information surrounding the circumstances that led to BV getting custody.

Sent from my KFAPWI using Tapatalk

 

[necco]

If my child was murdered and I was ill (as indicated from various sources) as Christine seems to be, I wouldn't exactly be up for a trip to the mall, at Christmas on top of everything else, to pick up appropriate attire. It may be all she had that fits. Would I wear jeans to a funeral? Probably not. But I have family and friends who, if I was Christine, would have made sure I had something more suitable to wear. Failing that, the women of my church would likely attend to this need. Not everyone is so lucky.

Also, this is not a terribly wealthy area. And we've seen evidence that the family is of very little means. It seems that whatever industry was there (Coleco) is long gone.

Most of the people in the video were in jeans.

There is a lot of blame and judgment to go around in this case. But, imo, criticizing the mother for her appearance is inappropriate. (Not saying there aren't a laundry list of other things to criticize a LOT of people for, but this isn't one of them.)

Good for you. You're a bigger person than me. I find this highly disrespectful for a mother to wear jeans to her own child's funeral. JMO

Also, I didn't know the children were taken away because the family was broke. I thought it had to do with CPS charges.

 

[ontheclock]

I fell apart when my father died. I really didn't even want to attend his funeral - no disrespect to him, but I could hardly pull myself together. Wearing jeans, no biggie.

 

[Tssiemer]

When my cousin was missing and found dead, we couldn't even get her mom out of bed for the funeral let alone get her into "appropriate" clothing. I don't even think she brushed her hair that day.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Jilllian]

Just watched the funeral clip here: http://albany.twcnews.com/content/n...-to-say-goodbye-to-5-year-old-taken-too-soon/

Did Kenneth's mom seriously wear jeans to his funeral? Jeeeez!!

Sorry you guys - I'm just realizing how insensitive my quote above came off. It was rude and judgmental of me. I'm not against wearing jeans to funerals. I just wouldn't wear them to my own child's. I also realize that not everyone can afford appropriate funeral attire, which may be the case here. My bad.

 

[Jilllian]

I fell apart when my father died. I really didn't even want to attend his funeral - no disrespect to him, but I could hardly pull myself together. Wearing jeans, no biggie.

I understand. My dad died too, not so long ago, and it took some effort to look nice for his calling hours and funeral. I remember being in a fog going about activities of daily living...

 

[ontheclock]

It's okay Jillian. Weve all had those moments on ws. I don't think you're evil and judgmental. Your heart is in the right place. We all have different realities. Sometimes I wanna take my post back and it's just too late.

 

[Jilllian]

It's okay Jillian. Weve all had those moments on ws. I don't think you're evil and judgmental. Your heart is in the right place. We all have different realities. Sometimes I wanna take my post back and it's just too late.

honestly, i think i was just pee-oh'ed at this family and just snapped at them in my mind (and in my post). i'm so sad for this little boy. i feel like he was short changed right from the get go. every kid deserves a happy life with a loving family, and he didn't get that. i work with foster kids every day and see what they've been through. taken away from their bio parents they love, even when the bio parents are completely unfit. moving from home to home with all their worldly possessions packed in garbage bags. not knowing where they're going to lay their little heads the next day, month or year, especially if god forbid, they misbehave. having their bio parent(s) flake out on visits and phone calls, etc.

i work with so many families that would have taken this little guy in and loved and cared for him the way he deserved to be loved and cared for. and then, they oftentimes get to adopt them. i feel this is where the surviving sisters are headed, but you never know if some loser family member will step up for the care subsidy and try to take the girls. counties prefer kinship care, and will want to keep the kids together, and i suspect DSS and CPS eagle eyes will be on this case. i would like to say it would be great if a biological family member stepped up to the plate for the right reasons, but gah, i doubt it.

 

[Ontario Mom]

Jillian, I think you've nailed it when you say we're all just so ticked off at this family for what they've allowed to take place and what this poor child suffered through as the result.

I don't know this family, but from what I've read I honestly believe Christine thought her kids were in good hands, with her sister. At least, better hands than what she could provide given her health condition. I don't think *anyone* in the family saw this coming, no matter how much history is there, no matter what the trailer looked like, no matter anything. Clearly they just all thought "it's all good" when obviously it wasn't. Tons of families live through much harsher/poorer conditions and everyone grows up just fine. It seems obvious this is the way they were thinking as well.

Just as an aside about the jeans...

If all little Kenneth ever saw his bio mom in was jeans, maybe somewhere in her thinking she concluded that's what she wanted to be seen in, saying goodbye to him? I honestly don't know, I'm just guessing.

When my first husband died *everyone* told me I had to wear a black dress to his memorial. I didn't own a black dress. I was (at the time) all about jeans, leather & t-shirts. But everyone *insisted* it was proper to wear a black dress. So, I went shopping for a black dress. Found one, went into the change rooms to try it on, sat on the floor and wept my heart out at how STUPID it was that here I was shopping for a stupid black dress just to impress others when he knew all I *ever* wore were jeans, tees and leather. It felt entirely fake, and entirely for the "impression" and that made me cry even more that I wasn't dealing with enough pain I had to deal with the petty expectations of onlookers as well. I ended up buying the dress, and shoes to match, and wearing it to his funeral. Came home to what seemed like 800 people hanging out in my house and back yard, bringing food & trying to make me feel better and immediately changed into my jean cut-offs and a t-shirt (it was August, and very hot that day). If anyone cared, it certainly wasn't me. I never wore the dress again and ended up giving it to Goodwill a few years later since seeing it in my closet just hurt my heart, every time.

So, her wearing jeans to Kenneth's funeral is 100% okay by me. Saying goodbye to those you love is about the heart, not about what you're wearing.

 

[kimi_SFC]

honestly, i think i was just pee-oh'ed at this family and just snapped at them in my mind (and in my post). i'm so sad for this little boy. i feel like he was short changed right from the get go. every kid deserves a happy life with a loving family, and he didn't get that. i work with foster kids every day and see what they've been through. taken away from their bio parents they love, even when the bio parents are completely unfit. moving from home to home with all their worldly possessions packed in garbage bags. not knowing where they're going to lay their little heads the next day, month or year, especially if god forbid, they misbehave. having their bio parent(s) flake out on visits and phone calls, etc.

i work with so many families that would have taken this little guy in and loved and cared for him the way he deserved to be loved and cared for. and then, they oftentimes get to adopt them. i feel this is where the surviving sisters are headed, but you never know if some loser family member will step up for the care subsidy and try to take the girls. counties prefer kinship care, and will want to keep the kids together, and i suspect DSS and CPS eagle eyes will be on this case. i would like to say it would be great if a biological family member stepped up to the plate for the right reasons, but gah, i doubt it.

This is the catch-22 of the system, Jillian. The system's preference for kinship care opens the door for a less than perfect family member to step into the role, for financial gain perhaps, and at the expense of the kids. It is, sadly, a gamble, because how can we truly vet people completely, and know their absolute intentions? I know, safeguards are put into place, but clearly they did not work in Kenneth's case. :moo:

We need to figure out what went wrong and fix it. I wonder if it was purposeful lies by omission that prevented the release / exchange of information from occurring, or if existing HIPAA laws shielded certain players diagnoses from being told?

Sheriff Apple alluded to LE's inability to access information, discern fact from fiction in the early part of the investigation (The link is posted upthread). I have no doubt this is playing out even now. It will take systemic change to implement safeguards that truly allow the "best interest of the child" to be put first. I know we say it is paramount, but I believe the system isn't set up to allow professionals to always act in ways that allow this to come to pass. :cow:

As a society, we can truly honor Little Kenneth by making the world his siblings have been left behind to grow up in, a healthier, safer place. His death cannot be in vain.

Thank you Jillian for your dedication to your profession, and these children. Your insight is important.

:grouphug:


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[necco]

Jillian,
It was the easiest thing to go for. I think most of us knew that it was likely misdirected anger. If you notice, we were all very, very careful about how we worded our replies. We all get too wound up in a case and post something less than ideal sometimes. We all get it. It's all good.

 

[kimi_SFC]

Sorry you guys - I'm just realizing how insensitive my quote above came off. It was rude and judgmental of me. I'm not against wearing jeans to funerals. I just wouldn't wear them to my own child's. I also realize that not everyone can afford appropriate funeral attire, which may be the case here. My bad.

:grouphug:


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[FindHG]

Whites receive mourners at service