NY NY - Robert Mayer, 46, Dix Hills, 14 Jun 2013 - # 4

[Angel629]

I can't find anywhere that IM said the call was 45 minutes...do you remember where you saw that?

I will have to go through quite a few articles, and maybe even look on FB. I certainly could be mistaken, but I remember thinking: "That's a long time to be on the phone with someone, who's at work." I will look now, and if I can't find it, will apologize "to" IM. :blushing:

 

[Force Ten]

Here are some of the things that tell me this was not a planned disappearance.

For one, there would be some telltale signs. There might be problems within the marriage, finances, work. There may be behavioral signs as RM would do odd things, out of the ordinary. May it be depression, breakdowns, drug use, withdrawal, or in the matter of another woman, sneaking or being secretive and hiding things. such as phone calls, texts, emails, missing time, etc. By now friends and family would be coming forward to expose such things. Wives with kids who know for certain their husbands left for another woman don't launch a media campaign about their missing husband. They hire a a PI who specializes in finding deadbeat dads.

Now specifically for RM, there are some things to consider pertaining to a planned disappearance. Why would RM go to the trouble of driving to the scrap yard for a small exchange then exit his life boarding a train. Or let's entertain the report that he did go home. He risks getting seen by family and or neighbors, then inexplicably leaves minutes later....to take a train....leaving his beautiful and loved GTO. And why not take his car? It's not like it was marked. He could have drove clear across country and until any cop pulled him over, nobody would be the wiser. Why not just leave work and.....just go? His phone pings in Melville, goes to scrap yard near home.

 

[CuriousAmI]

Here are some of the things that tell me this was not a planned disappearance.

For one, there would be some telltale signs. There might be problems within the marriage, finances, work. There may be behavioral signs as RM would do odd things, out of the ordinary. May it be depression, breakdowns, drug use, withdrawal, or in the matter of another woman, sneaking or being secretive and hiding things. such as phone calls, texts, emails, missing time, etc. By now friends and family would be coming forward to expose such things. Wives with kids who know for certain their husbands left for another woman don't launch a media campaign about their missing husband. They hire a a PI who specializes in finding deadbeat dads.

Now specifically for RM, there are some things to consider pertaining to a planned disappearance. Why would RM go to the trouble of driving to the scrap yard for a small exchange then exit his life boarding a train. Or let's entertain the report that he did go home. He risks getting seen by family and or neighbors, then inexplicably leaves minutes later....to take a train....leaving his beautiful and loved GTO. And why not take his car? It's not like it was marked. He could have drove clear across country and until any cop pulled him over, nobody would be the wiser. Why not just leave work and.....just go? His phone pings in Melville, goes to scrap yard near home.

It has been reported there were problems in the marriage, RM had been texting with someone IM had issues with, per NCNY, a verified insider, and too many discrepancies with the details of the disappearance, conflicting stories, no official reports other than no foul play. We don't know why his beautiful GTO was at the train station. We don't know if he took a train. We don't know if he was at work, or at the scrap yard. We don't know a lot.

 

[cluciano63]

I wonder if the car was registered solely to him.
He could have taken it, and sold it for cash in another state or traded it in on his way to someplace else. If he left on his own, he seems to not want his family to even know if he is alive or dead, which is harsh, to say the least. If he wanted them to think he was dead, why not park near the ocean? Leave his shoes, etc. on the beach?

I don't feel like he left on his own. JMO obviously.

 

[Angel629]

I can't find anywhere that IM said the call was 45 minutes...do you remember where you saw that?

I could not find it, so I must be mistaken. Don't know why I thought they talked longer. Sorry. (Sorry, IM!) :facepalm: :blushing:

 

[Sweetnspicy]

It has been reported there were problems in the marriage, RM had been texting with someone IM had issues with, per NCNY, a verified insider, and too many discrepancies with the details of the disappearance, conflicting stories, no official reports other than no foul play. We don't know why his beautiful GTO was at the train station. We don't know if he took a train. We don't know if he was at work, or at the scrap yard. We don't know a lot.

Texting someone that IM did not approve of or like does not mean 1) it was a woman or 2) he was being unfaithful. It could have been a buddy of his that IM Didnt like because he tried to get RM to do something IM felt inappropriate, it could have been a family member or friend that is in constant trouble looking for help Repeatedly and IM was sick of it, or it could have just been someone that has a lot of drama in their life and IDA didnt want her husband getting sucked into it...we dont know, the possibilities are numerous. IMO I think it is unfair to IM, RM, and the investigation to assume anything..
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[CuriousAmI]

Texting someone that IM did not approve of or like does not mean 1) it was a woman or 2) he was being unfaithful. It could have been a buddy of his that IM Didnt like because he tried to get RM to do something IM felt inappropriate, it could have been a family member or friend that is in constant trouble looking for help Repeatedly and IM was sick of it, or it could have just been someone that has a lot of drama in their life and IDA didnt want her husband getting sucked into it...we dont know, the possibilities are numerous. IMO I think it is unfair to IM, RM, and the investigation to assume anything..
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I'm not assuming. It was reported at some point there were problems in the marriage and things were good now. Separate point, the texting reported by NCNY, I didn't say it was a woman, nor did NCNY, but there was texting.

 

[MrsColumbo]

I could not find it, so I must be mistaken. Don't know why I thought they talked longer. Sorry. (Sorry, IM!) :facepalm: :blushing:

I don't believe you are mistaken. Definitely saw it in one of the interviews or read it on the FB page. A couple of threads back it was a big topic because of the length of time to be talking while he was at work.

 

[Sweetnspicy]

I don't believe you are mistaken. Definitely saw it in one of the interviews or read it on the FB page. A couple of threads back it was a big topic because of the length of time to be talking while he was at work.

I believe 4-5 minutes is what was said...could it not be as someone mentioned before that someone simply misread this?

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[Sweetnspicy]

I'm not assuming. It was reported at some point there were problems in the marriage and things were good now. Separate point, the texting reported by NCNY, I didn't say it was a woman, nor did NCNY, but there was texting.

I never said there were never any problems in their marriage. I know there were at some point, all marriages have their rough patches, although they stood by each other and I think that says a lot.

and you are right, I misspoke, I was reading more than one message and meant to include both quotes. you did not say a woman, others have. I am just saying that. IM0 just because he was texting someone he shouldnt have does not mean there were problems. Disagreements arise but it is a big jump from a disagreement to problems in the marriage...maybe. my wording is not the best tonight but i think you understand what i am trying to say

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[Vedder]

I believe 4-5 minutes is what was said...could it not be as someone mentioned before that someone simply misread this?

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That's what I'm thinking. It was a big discussion on previous threads but it was an assumption - I cannot find IM saying 45 minutes anywhere.

 

[Jerry516]

On the one point I bolded, why would he want to be so secretive? I can see a man escaping an intolerable situation (needed to break free or go bonkers), but sneaking away so his scent won't be picked up seems over the top, IMO. However, I don't think it is implausible that he took off with another woman. Who knows? Maybe he got really friendly with a woman who ran a coffee shop in Brooklyn and they both moved to the west coast.

JMO

What about another man? Maybe he knew hs wife could never understand.....so he just took off? Even though homosexual relationships are obviously more accepted these days, for a married man with children to "come out" is a bit more difficult for some men I would imagine. Maybe he didn't wanna live a lie anymore, but was too shamed to admit it to his family. She is old school Italian after all. Just a theory....

 

[Jerry516]

I never said there were never any problems in their marriage. I know there were at some point, all marriages have their rough patches, although they stood by each other and I think that says a lot.

and you are right, I misspoke, I was reading more than one message and meant to include both quotes. you did not say a woman, others have. I am just saying that. IM0 just because he was texting someone he shouldnt have does not mean there were problems. Disagreements arise but it is a big jump from a disagreement to problems in the marriage...maybe. my wording is not the best tonight but i think you understand what i am trying to say

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JMO----every article, blog, interview I have seen about this case makes me feel like Someone is trying awfully hard to convince me they had the perfect marriage---I feel like its poured on a bit too much. Maybe IM is the one in denial, and not the daughter. :twocents:

 

[Sweetnspicy]

JMO----every article, blog, interview I have seen about this case makes me feel like Someone is trying awfully hard to convince me they had the perfect marriage---I feel like its poured on a bit too much. Maybe IM is the one in denial, and not the daughter. :twocents:

Daughter? Sorry now I am lost

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[Sweetnspicy]

Daughter? Sorry now I am lost

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And you might very well be right, although IMO it is just her putting emphasis on this so that people dont automatically assume he walked away with another woman and not look for him.

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[Force Ten]

But it's true only Ida told us. She was a lawyer she won't incriminate herself.

Just....wow. I can't even respond.

 

[desensitized]

I think to say the "rhetoric" of IM being the only source is getting old is ridiculous. it's a very valid observation. IMs statements are inconsistant, yet it's ALL we have. I can completely understand IM being distraught and making mistakes, but I also understand she's a lawyer, and a smart woman. if she can't provide consiststant information she should hire a spokesperson to speak on the families behalf to eliminate these issues.

I don't think there RM would have needed to make noticeable changes in life for him to have been talking to/thinking about someone else. just as not everyone would respond to a dropped call the same, not everyone reacts the same way when starting new relationships. as for the car, he might have loved his car, but to believe it MUST have been foul play, because he left his beloved CAR behind, at a train station he didn't like... you'd have to believe he loved the car more than his children. if a man is willing to walk out on his family, then he's prolly willing to walk away from his vehicle too.

I feel like certain people are taking this case too personally, considering no one knows all the details I don't think it's fair to discount anyone's theories, somewhere in all of this, the truth has been discussed. only time will tell which truth it was, til then every theory is equally possible.

 

[Force Ten]

It has been reported there were problems in the marriage, RM had been texting with someone IM had issues with, per NCNY, a verified insider, and too many discrepancies with the details of the disappearance, conflicting stories, no official reports other than no foul play. We don't know why his beautiful GTO was at the train station. We don't know if he took a train. We don't know if he was at work, or at the scrap yard. We don't know a lot.

BBM. No it has not. Please tell me where it has. Even so, there is no perfect marriage. EVERY marriage will have problems.

 

[trigger]

What I would like to know is

Did he wear his work ID around his neck or did he have it in his wallet.
Did he get a duplicate license lately (can be easily checked)
Did IM check with Lost and Found at train station for cell phone etc
Did she hire a PI
Did RM get someone fired or did he have a problem with a worker

lease: Im praying he is found just have a bad feeling.

 

[Sweetnspicy]

What I would like to know is

Did he wear his work ID around his neck or did he have it in his wallet.
Did he get a duplicate license lately (can be easily checked)
Did IM check with Lost and Found at train station for cell phone etc
Did she hire a PI
Did RM get someone fired or did he have a problem with a worker

lease: Im praying he is found just have a bad feeling.

Sadly with each passing day the odds of him being okay drastically drops I would be curious what the statistics were if the pictures of those kids didnt keep popping up in my mind...

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