NY NY - Robert Mayer, 46, Dix Hills, 14 Jun 2013 - # 8

[Treelights]

So parking at the train station might have been a way for the car to found sooner than if it were in the preserve parking?

And if that is the case, why hide the phone at home? Did he not want the phone to be found? Or he wanted the car to be found Before the phone was found??
Why not leave the phone in the car? What is the purpose of having the car separate from the wallet, phone, and 300 dollars?
Was it to show that Yes he made it home,and perhaps retrieved something else from home??

IMOO.

 

[Drib]

I think if he parked the car, he knew that sooner or later, that lot would be checked, if anyone had the idea he went to the city. Regardless if be normally used it or not.

Add to that the most common thing to do after a person is reported missing is search wooded areas their home. And the car is parked right across the street from the preserve. Think they need to do a more thorough search of the areas around where the car is found.

 

[VeryCleverGirl]

Clu...Oc's razor and all that.... simplest ex would be he took off....simply because we don't have a body...LE says no crime....no foul play....fb's are both gone from public....reporter's not picking it up because when ya dig into it you get the real sense he took off JMO

 

[cluciano63]

Even if he did take off...that is kinda interesting, no? A seemingly average guy, wife and kids and a good job, up and leaves without a word? Allowing his family, his mom, his friends to imagine he might be dead?

Suicide is starting to sound like a viable option, sorry to say. If this is a real possibility, then that preserve/reserve needs to be searched entirely.

I really do not see the walking away scenario without letting his mom, at least, know he is okay. That would be just cruel. Bad enough for the kids, but for an old woman to have to wonder if her son is alive is just awful, JMO.

 

[Momoffourboys]

Clu...Oc's razor and all that.... simplest ex would be he took off....simply because we don't have a body...LE says no crime....no foul play....fb's are both gone from public....reporter's not picking it up because when ya dig into it you get the real sense he took off JMO

Clevah (your official name),
Maybe that is why LE is holding off on additional searches. No body, no evidence pointing towards foul play. They do not want to "waste" precious time and resources searching for an adult that they feel just up and left.
JMO

 

[Treelights]

Even if he did take off...that is kinda interesting, no? A seemingly average guy, wife and kids and a good job, up and leaves without a word? Allowing his family, his mom, his friends to imagine he might be dead?

Suicide is starting to sound like a viable option, sorry to say. If this is a real possibility, then that preserve/reserve needs to be searched entirely.

I really do not see the walking away scenario without letting his mom, at least, know he is okay. That would be just cruel. Bad enough for the kids, but for an old woman to have to wonder if her son is alive is just awful, JMO.

Maybe that's what it is......Maybe that's why the phone, wallet ,and 300 dollars was found at home so that those items would not be found on him or in the car to be stolen. He didn't want them stolen. The car at the train station Looks like he took off, when maybe in reality he wanted to commit suicide and maybe he is in that preserve, hidden well, and once found maybe it would take DNA to identify him, seeing as he had no ID on him.

IMOO.

 

[Born2succeed]

Maybe that's what it is......Maybe that's why the phone, wallet ,and 300 dollars was found at home so that those items would not be found on him or in the car to be stolen. He didn't want them stolen. The car at the train station Looks like he took off, when maybe in reality he wanted to commit suicide and maybe he is in that preserve, hidden well, and once found maybe it would take DNA to identify him, seeing as he had no ID on him.

IMOO.

I can see everyone's point on suicide, and if not Arrow to make a "minimal exchange" I would be more inclined to believe this. The video tape showing RM "scared" doesnt add up to this for me either. Working in behavior health for many years, the "norm" is for people to all of a sudden feel peaceful where they had before shown signs of internal struggle. From everything I have seen or heard, it was the exact opposite with RM. Of course we have only heard from his wife on this matter. I would really like to hear something, anything..from his family. Now admittedly there are holes in my theory as well for the same reasons...although IMO much smaller ones... I may be subconciously looking For fault in the suicide theory just because the thought of this man with two beautiful kids doing that bothers me greater than him just leaving on his own. I cant say for sure until I examine myself a little more. Either way, something stinks and I would hate for this case to get cold without some answers for those kids. I hope my instincts are right and he is alive somewhere...although if he is, I dont think he is drinking margaritas on the beach somewhere.. not after 3 months. Even if he was in the beginning, I am sure reality has set in and he is at least partially tormenting about his kids.

I guess only time will tell... holidays coming up...

 

[VeryCleverGirl]

Clevah (your official name),
Maybe that is why LE is holding off on additional searches. No body, no evidence pointing towards foul play. They do not want to "waste" precious time and resources searching for an adult that they feel just up and left.
JMO

Mom-of-4 .....Clevah is catching on is it not??? lol

there is a real sense of duplicity...I don't know on whose part...fabricated or micro-managed....but def duplicitous

MOO and all that jazz (sorry Cawfee borrowing your catch phrase!)

 

[MissJ]

Somewhat like the Ray Gricar case. Disappears with no trace. ?

 

[Eileen730]

Don't you think possibly he told her they were finished he wanted a divorce and was leaving so he comes home gathers some things and leaves she arrived home to find him gone.... she sits and waits and waits nothing....gets angrier and angrier as the night passes her only way to find out where he is is to report him missing.

Now Robert hears this and get angry and decides ok ill be missing!

Just a thought folks!

 

[CatFancier]

I have to agree with Born2succeed on the attitude regarding suicide. Having a lot of mental illness in my family, unfortunately, I have seen this peace. Additionally, once one has decided on this, I don't think one would drive home and return the wallet, phone and $300, move car to the station, etc. He could have ditched his stuff in the trash and parked at Walmart if that was the deal. Additionally, most of the suicides on WS are out of the way, when you find the vehicle, you find the MP.

I also don't see a big strong union guy who made it to work that day suddenly falling apart because he fought with wife on the phone and they had money troubles. Seems to me he was mighty strong when every thing was falling apart in the past, why would he fall apart now?

 

[Born2succeed]

Don't you think possibly he told her they were finished he wanted a divorce and was leaving so he comes home gathers some things and leaves she arrived home to find him gone.... she sits and waits and waits nothing....gets angrier and angrier as the night passes her only way to find out where he is is to report him missing.

Now Robert hears this and get angry and decides ok ill be missing!

Just a thought folks!

this I can definitely see! I mean why else would she be looking through the garage by 4pm?? I am sorry, no matter how much your in love or insecure...you dont start panicking about someone being only an hour late unless you have had an argument or they made some earlier reference to "giving up" which she adamantly denies.

Sorry... IMO of course...

 

[Vedder]

Don't you think possibly he told her they were finished he wanted a divorce and was leaving so he comes home gathers some things and leaves she arrived home to find him gone.... she sits and waits and waits nothing....gets angrier and angrier as the night passes her only way to find out where he is is to report him missing.

Now Robert hears this and get angry and decides ok ill be missing!

Just a thought folks!

But why make your kids suffer? Your mother suffer?

 

[Treelights]

But why make your kids suffer? Your mother suffer?

I agree, why make your kids and mom suffer?
People do walk off leaving family behind....It is selfish, but it happens.
I don't know if it happened in RM's case, but people that do walk away without a word to family are only thinking of themselves... Very selfish.
I want to add the ramifications of abandonment can carry through a person's life, and it is hurtful
and not fair to those being abandoned.
IMOO.

 

[Born2succeed]

But why make your kids suffer? Your mother suffer?

How are we sure his mother is suffering? I have heard nothing from his family. if she was dont you think she would be talking? Or even maybe pointing fingers as to who might have hurt her beloved son? jMOO As for kids...dads do it all the time unfortunately. Many think the kids will understand and resent the mother eventually. Or maybe he never intended for it to go this far and his hand was forced......or maybe he felt it better than committing suicide and his kids finding that! I dont know...just my thoughts...

 

[desensitized]

And if that is the case, why hide the phone at home? Did he not want the phone to be found? Or he wanted the car to be found Before the phone was found??
Why not leave the phone in the car? What is the purpose of having the car separate from the wallet, phone, and 300 dollars?
Was it to show that Yes he made it home,and perhaps retrieved something else from home??

IMOO.

with IM and friends/family being the first to find his car, I'm not convinced that his phone was not found there rather than the drawer. again, all "facts" are from one source, and have often changed.

 

[Vedder]

How are we sure his mother is suffering? I have heard nothing from his family. if she was dont you think she would be talking? Or even maybe pointing fingers as to who might have hurt her beloved son? jMOO As for kids...dads do it all the time unfortunately. Many think the kids will understand and resent the mother eventually. Or maybe he never intended for it to go this far and his hand was forced......or maybe he felt it better than committing suicide and his kids finding that! I dont know...just my thoughts...

She's an older woman. She may not be on social media or the internet for that matter. I would not assume the woman is not suffering while her son is missing and her grandchildren are devastated.

MOO

 

[Eileen730]

But why make your kids suffer? Your mother suffer?

Im not so sure his kids and mom have not spoken to him.
JMO

I think if she had waited before calling the cops he probably would have contacted her...I think she made the decision for him to be missing it wasn't him,,,
what if letters were sent?

 

[CatFancier]

If you post is removed and you are discussing PM'ing each other, here's why...

“Inviting” is termed as a post where you invite other members to contact you to find out more information, rather than post it in the forum. This is not allowed and any posts with emails or invitations to contact for more information will either be edited or deleted entirely. This includes use of the Private Message system via comments such as “Check your PMs” or “PM me” posted in discussion threads. Think about it - it's like whispering into someone's ear while you are at a table full of other people. If you want to have a private conversation just have it, don't announce it. Additionally,please don't drop hints or post on the board that you know something or are privy to inside information but you won't or can't post it.
If you can't post it, don't.

Rules Etiquette & Information - Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community

 

[Vedder]

this I can definitely see! I mean why else would she be looking through the garage by 4pm?? I am sorry, no matter how much your in love or insecure...you dont start panicking about someone being only an hour late unless you have had an argument or they made some earlier reference to "giving up" which she adamantly denies.

Sorry... IMO of course...

It can't just be that she happened to walk into the garage at 4pm and saw his wallet, could it?

IIRC she was not panicking at 4pm. That came later, when she called her relatives in LE.