OH OH - Harley Dilly, 14, enroute to Port Clinton High School, 20 Dec 2019

[mom2chloe]

I raised a son, he was always a clean tidy kid, even made his bed everyday. The problem I had was he took two showers a day and used TWO FRESH TOWELS each shower and a complete wardrobe change.

Because he was an only child, he had a ton of clothes, he loves clothes and no -unless I saw him walk out the door, I wouldn’t know what was missing from his wardrobe.

The two lengthy showers are somedays still an issue especially if we have guests or friends staying over. Mine used to make his bed every day and now as a young adult keeps his bedroom door shut! He claims it’s because of the cats! Ok we will accept that!
On another note, do any of us know if canines were brought in? Because with all of the stinky socks and unfavorable habits of teenage boys in particular along with the recollection of mom recently donating some of Harley’s clothing to Goodwill it seems they would have had an abundance of scent to gather on even if he was the type to throw in in the hamper. IMO
Also I could have told you exactly what my kids were wearing when they were young especially if they went missing but I can no longer say that. A winter coat missing I would definitely notice but I agree with all the others who say their kids didn’t wear coats even in cold weather.

 

[Linda7NJ]

PLAYING MM20 FOR FUN *SORRYFORMYDAD*
Posted Aug 31, 2019

Harley posts a video while his parents are audibly fighting in the background. I transcribed as much as I could. Transcript starts from 10:53 in the video.
_________

Dad screams: GOD DAMNIT!
Mom: Why?
Dad: He just fucki*g spilled the ******* pop all over the ******* table by throwing that stupid thing at me.
Mom: Marc, he is 4 years old!
Harley: Sorry if you heard that in the background. My dad’s a little….mad right now.
Dad: All over the electrics too.
Mom: Well you don’t have to be a total as*hole about everything. How about you clean it up?
Dad: I am cleaning it up.
Harley: My dad’s being rude. Sorry.
Mom: He needs to learn how to throw ****.
Mom: You’re mean. I don’t *****ng like this. This **** that you do is done. You are so fucki*g mean. He is a child! It was an accident. He’s gonna sit there and say “Oh I’m gonna fu*k up my mom and dad’s stuff?”
Dad: He knows
Mom: Okay well I think that’s...(inaudible)…fucki*g hard. Um that’s not my phone thank you, that’s Nicole’s phone. Keep throwing her ****.
Dad: Nicole who?
Mom: Last name redacted
Dad: Why do you have her phone? (Something inaudible)
Harley: My dad’s being an as*hole right now. My bad. (Deep sigh)
Dad: There you go with your mouth.
Mom: Oh my mouth?
Dad: Yeah.
Mom: How’s this? Take your and get the fu*k out of your lives. Because until you…(inaudible)…if I have to go to a doctor and get whatever….(inaudible). You have been nothing but…
Mom: You need a fucki*g counselor.
Harley: Team you can pause the video if you want. There you go… There you go… I’m gonna have to see what’s going on with my family but I’ll see you guys next video. Peace.

listening to that- really made me very sad

Have you heard the one where she screams at the 4 year old and hits him. Harley is trying to flip the water bottle thing in his room while chaos is going on outside of his bedroom ?

 

[v0x]

PLAYING MM20 FOR FUN *SORRYFORMYDAD*
Posted Aug 31, 2019

Harley posts a video while his parents are audibly fighting in the background. I transcribed as much as I could. Transcript starts from 10:53 in the video.
_________

Dad screams: GOD DAMNIT!
Mom: Why?
Dad: He just fu*kig spilled the fu*king pop all over the fu*king table by throwing that stupid thing at me.
Mom: Marc, he is 4 years old!
Harley: Sorry if you heard that in the background. My dad’s a little….mad right now.
Dad: All over the electrics too.
Mom: Well you don’t have to be a total as*hole about everything. How about you clean it up?
Dad: I am cleaning it up.
Harley: My dad’s being rude. Sorry.
Mom: He needs to learn how to throw s*it.
Mom: You’re mean. I don’t fu*king like this. This s*it that you do is done. You are so fu*king mean. He is a child! It was an accident. He’s gonna sit there and say “Oh I’m gonna fu*k up my mom and dad’s stuff?”
Dad: He knows
Mom: Okay well I think that’s...(inaudible)…fu*king hard. Um that’s not my phone thank you, that’s Nicole’s phone. Keep throwing her s*it.
Dad: Nicole who?
Mom: Last name redacted
Dad: Why do you have her phone? (Something inaudible)
Harley: My dad’s being an as*hole right now. My bad. (Deep sigh)
Dad: There you go with your mouth.
Mom: Oh my mouth?
Dad: Yeah.
Mom: How’s this? Take your and get the fu*k out of your lives. Because until you…(inaudible)…if I have to go to a doctor and get whatever….(inaudible). You have been nothing but…
Mom: You need a fu*king counselor.
Harley: Team you can pause the video if you want. There you go… There you go… I’m gonna have to see what’s going on with my family but I’ll see you guys next video. Peace.

Meh. Who hasn’t had a parent that’s had an “a-hole” moment? Hell, who hasn’t had and “a-hole moment” themselves? The only difference is that it wasn’t recorded in the background of a missing child’s YouTube video.

 

[Linda7NJ]

My nieces are the same. Here’s hoping Harley is home and making more laundry for his parents soon!

get this- before he would get in the shower, he would put his FRESH TOWELS in the dryer so they were warm when he got out!

He’s 22 now and in his own apartment less than a mile away from me. He tried bringing his laundry over and using my washer & dryer - HA HA HA - Those days are OVER! I thought he’d time it done after he got his first electric bill- Nope. I bought him an actual towel warmer!

 

[Desert Dude]

I raised a son, he was always a clean tidy kid, even made his bed everyday. The problem I had was he took two showers a day and used TWO FRESH TOWELS each shower and a complete wardrobe change.

Because he was an only child, he had a ton of clothes, he loves clothes and no -unless I saw him walk out the door, I wouldn’t know what was missing from his wardrobe.

If I had a 14 year old child that was only 4'9, I probably wouldn't buy that many clothes for them because I knew that the great body growth spirt was just around the corner. At 14 my son was 5'3" and by the time he was 15 he was 5'10". I won't tell you how many pairs of shoes we went through that year.

I have a grandson that was probably more like Harley. Beginning of 9th grade he was 4'11" and weighed 98 lbs soaking wet. Puberty was not his friend until he reached 10th grade. In one year he grew 8 inches, and went through a pair of shoes a month. In 11th grade he grew another 4 inches. Then he stopped. That was when he became a clothes horse when it came to clothes. While he was growing he only had 3 or four pants and shirts in his size. But that just seemed to change every month. LOL

 

[Linda7NJ]

The two lengthy showers are somedays still an issue especially if we have guests or friends staying over. Mine used to make his bed every day and now as a young adult keeps his bedroom door shut! He claims it’s because of the cats! Ok we will accept that!
On another note, do any of us know if canines were brought in? Because with all of the stinky socks and unfavorable habits of teenage boys in particular along with the recollection of mom recently donating some of Harley’s clothing to Goodwill it seems they would have had an abundance of scent to gather on even if he was the type to throw in in the hamper. IMO
Also I could have told you exactly what my kids were wearing when they were young especially if they went missing but I can no longer say that. A winter coat missing I would definitely notice but I agree with all the others who say their kids didn’t wear coats even in cold weather.

yes, dogs cleared the house

 

[mom2chloe]

PLAYING MM20 FOR FUN *SORRYFORMYDAD*
Posted Aug 31, 2019

Harley posts a video while his parents are audibly fighting in the background. I transcribed as much as I could. Transcript starts from 10:53 in the video.
_________

Dad screams: GOD DAMNIT!
Mom: Why?
Dad: He just fu*kig spilled the fu*king pop all over the fu*king table by throwing that stupid thing at me.
Mom: Marc, he is 4 years old!
Harley: Sorry if you heard that in the background. My dad’s a little….mad right now.
Dad: All over the electrics too.
Mom: Well you don’t have to be a total as*hole about everything. How about you clean it up?
Dad: I am cleaning it up.
Harley: My dad’s being rude. Sorry.
Mom: He needs to learn how to throw s*it.
Mom: You’re mean. I don’t fu*king like this. This s*it that you do is done. You are so fu*king mean. He is a child! It was an accident. He’s gonna sit there and say “Oh I’m gonna fu*k up my mom and dad’s stuff?”
Dad: He knows
Mom: Okay well I think that’s...(inaudible)…fu*king hard. Um that’s not my phone thank you, that’s Nicole’s phone. Keep throwing her s*it.
Dad: Nicole who?
Mom: Last name redacted
Dad: Why do you have her phone? (Something inaudible)
Harley: My dad’s being an as*hole right now. My bad. (Deep sigh)
Dad: There you go with your mouth.
Mom: Oh my mouth?
Dad: Yeah.
Mom: How’s this? Take your and get the fu*k out of your lives. Because until you…(inaudible)…if I have to go to a doctor and get whatever….(inaudible). You have been nothing but…
Mom: You need a fu*king counselor.
Harley: Team you can pause the video if you want. There you go… There you go… I’m gonna have to see what’s going on with my family but I’ll see you guys next video. Peace.

Your transcription indicates symptoms of a rageaholic. If this anger is met with alcohol it is likely to become violent.

Rageaholic - Wikipedia

I am familiar with this term from many decades ago when my therapist labeled my father as such.

IMO

 

[v0x]

get this- before he would get in the shower, he would put his FRESH TOWELS in the dryer so they were warm when he got out!

He’s 22 now and in his own apartment less than a mile away from me. He tried bringing his laundry over and using my washer & dryer - HA HA HA - Those days are OVER! I thought he’d time it done after he got his first electric bill- Nope. I bought him an actual towel warmer!

You are such a good mom! I’m sure he loved that gift!

 

[Linda7NJ]

Meh. Who hasn’t had a parent that’s had an “a-hole” moment? Hell, who hasn’t had and “a-hole moment” themselves? The only difference is that it wasn’t recorded in the background of a missing child’s YouTube video.

I’ve had my share! I not one to yell though, I actually lower my voice and talk through clenched teeth when I’m super angry. I would say things that sound awful but in my family lighten the tension of the moment. Sarcasm or outlandish threats like, I’ll rip your eyelids off, crazy glue em shut, poke your left eye out with a spoon... for some reason we find it amusing & we can get real creative.

 

[mom2chloe]

listening to that- really made me very sad

Have you heard the one where she screams at the 4 year old and hits him. Harley is trying to flip the water bottle thing in his room while chaos is going on outside of his bedroom ?

This is strategically a calming technique for Harley when these things happens and I bet he was taught this by someone who knows how it works. His mentor perhaps?
A 14 year old boy living in this situation doing everything he could to maintain. Also likely worried about his 4 year old brother in this dynamic. MOO

 

[Linda7NJ]

Your transcription indicates symptoms of a rageaholic. If this anger is met with alcohol it is likely to become violent.

Rageaholic - Wikipedia

I am familiar with this term from many decades ago when my therapist labeled my father as such.

IMO

mom addressed this - says dad doesn’t not drink or do drugs

 

[Desert Dude]

Meh. Who hasn’t had a parent that’s had an “a-hole” moment? Hell, who hasn’t had and “a-hole moment” themselves? The only difference is that it wasn’t recorded in the background of a missing child’s YouTube video.

Whomever heard parents in the background has better hearing than me. But I am old, I only hear Harley.

 

[mom2chloe]

Meh. Who hasn’t had a parent that’s had an “a-hole” moment? Hell, who hasn’t had and “a-hole moment” themselves? The only difference is that it wasn’t recorded in the background of a missing child’s YouTube video.

In this particular case maybe Harley was documenting and may further explain why his phone was taken or broken? Someone earlier suggested some hinky youtube comments where someone indicated they always knew where Harley was and what he was doing. We parents often monitor our kids’ SM presence. MOO

 

[v0x]

I’ve had my share! I not one to yell though, I actually lower my voice and talk through clenched teeth when I’m super angry. I would say things that sound awful but in my family lighten the tension of the moment. Sarcasm or outlandish threats like, I’ll rip your eyelids off, crazy glue em shut, poke your left eye out with a spoon... for some reason we find it amusing & we can get real creative.

Exactly. Now imagine in that YouTube audio you heard someone say through clenched teeth in a low voice, “ I’ll rip your eyelids off”.

 

[Linda7NJ]

You are such a good mom! I’m sure he loved that gift!

Thanks, he did. I taught him how to do laundry & had him washing his own clothes at 10 hoping to curb his changing clothes constantly obsession - NOPE. He used to ask for LINT ROLLERS for Christmas & Birthdays LMAO!

 

[mom2chloe]

mom addressed this - says dad doesn’t not drink or do drugs

Anyone else every experienced an angry individual or parent who didn’t do drugs or drink? I did as did my 3 siblings; in fact we experienced both parents as rageaholics.
just imagine of you did mix in alcohol and/or drugs. IMO

 

[Linda7NJ]

Exactly. Now imagine in that YouTube audio you heard someone say through clenched teeth in a low voice, “ I’ll rip your eyelids off”.

And read my search history - over the years I’ve researched chloroform, all sorts of poisons, best acid to resolve a body & who sells it... being a member of Websleuths wouldn’t do me any favors

 

[bellyup]

Meh. Who hasn’t had a parent that’s had an “a-hole” moment? Hell, who hasn’t had and “a-hole moment” themselves? The only difference is that it wasn’t recorded in the background of a missing child’s YouTube video.

There’s an a*hole moment and then there’s damaging parenting. I had an a*hole moment with my kid the other day watching one of Harleys videos. My kid walked in and was being noisy and I snapped “Could you NOT?” And before they could respond... immediately, I apologized.

To me, this isn’t a*hole moments and may be a clear reason why Harley would choose to leave voluntarily. I had a ragey parent like this. I’m a grown adult and I’m still not really over it. It’s really damaging. Add in all the threats to toss dad out (which Harley would know and fear if he is the primary financial provider).

That’s the one thing that has shocked me in this case maybe more than anything. Is that people think this sort of screaming and hitting kids is just something that happens or is normal?

So heartbreaking. Harley come home. Talk to someone and hopefully they can get you and your family some solid support so this stops for all of you.

 

[mom2chloe]

yes, dogs cleared the house

Any idea if they scented on family vehicles too? TIA

 

[Linda7NJ]

Exactly. Now imagine in that YouTube audio you heard someone say through clenched teeth in a low voice, “ I’ll rip your eyelids off”.

i was once overheard outside of a store telling my kid who was about 5 at the time, I’d staple his hands to his ankles if he touched anything before we went in...the Look on the woman’s face was pure horror, my son saw it and started laughing, so did I. It was funny!