OH OH - Harley Dilly, 14, walking to Port Clinton High School, 20 Dec 2019 #2

[katydid23]

Despite his obviously difficult family there is nothing that points me to him being a suicidal, or even a danger seeking kid. In all of his videos he is happy, often mischievous, but not seeking danger. Why victim blame him at this point? Why even see him as suicidal?

As a therapist I have profiled this kid, I don't see him as suicidal. That sounds like what people who are close to him would like to purport as a justification. It doesn't mean it is true.

Well that got me into trouble when I profiled the people around him and the law enforcement in the area. Let's just say that if/when a body is found, maybe a competent forensic autopsy should be performed.

Yes I do believe Harley is no longer with us. It saddens me to say this.

I am just an old fart with a lot of opinions and a lot of heart. I will leave it up to you young sleuths to find the answer.

To the managers of this board, if I have overstepped my bounds, I am sorry. This is all my own opinion, both professionally and personally.

His voice is very flat and he sounds very depressed in many of his videos. His family dysfunction weighs on him.

Did you read the transcript of this nice family dinner?

Dad screams: GOD DAMNIT!
Mom: Why?
Dad: He just fu*kig spilled the fu*king pop all over the fu*king table by throwing that stupid thing at me.
Mom: Marc, he is 4 years old!
Harley: Sorry if you heard that in the background. My dad’s a little….mad right now.
Dad: All over the electrics too.
Mom: Well you don’t have to be a total as*hole about everything. How about you clean it up?
Dad: I am cleaning it up.
Harley: My dad’s being rude. Sorry.
Mom: He needs to learn how to throw s*it.
Mom: You’re mean. I don’t fu*king like this. This s*it that you do is done. You are so fu*king mean. He is a child! It was an accident. He’s gonna sit there and say “Oh I’m gonna fu*k up my mom and dad’s stuff?”
Dad: He knows
Mom: Okay well I think that’s...(inaudible)…fu*king hard. Um that’s not my phone thank you, that’s Nicole’s phone. Keep throwing her s*it.
Dad: Nicole who?
Mom: Last name redacted
Dad: Why do you have her phone? (Something inaudible)
Harley: My dad’s being an as*hole right now. My bad. (Deep sigh)
Dad: There you go with your mouth.
Mom: Oh my mouth?
Dad: Yeah.
Mom: How’s this? Take your and get the fu*k out of our lives. Because until you…(inaudible)…if I have to go to a doctor and get whatever….(inaudible). You have been nothing but…
Mom: You need a fu*king counselor.
Harley: Team you can pause the video if you want. There you go… There you go… I’m gonna have to see what’s going on with my family but I’ll see you guys next video. Peace.

Listen to this poor kid's voice when he says "I’m gonna have to see what’s going on with my family but I’ll see you guys next video. Peace."

To me, he sounds very depressed and upset. His home life is a mess. His Mom locks him out in the cold on the regular. His Dad has rage fuelled outbursts. There is family tension around the 4 yr old, who is really the grandson, but being raised as the son, and Mom and Dad are at each other's throats over the situation.

And he was in therapy over being tormented and bullied by his older sister in earlier times. Mom claims he has PTSD because of it.

He openly and sincerely reaches out to 'the public' while streaming, seemingly looking for friends to fill the void. Gives out his phone number and name, in his quest for acceptance.

And no one reports him missing for about 40 hours.

I think children have killed themselves over less stressful conditions.

 

[MassGuy]

His voice is very flat and he sounds very depressed in many of his videos. His family dysfunction weighs on him.

Did you read the transcript of this nice family dinner?

Dad screams: GOD DAMNIT!
Mom: Why?
Dad: He just fu*kig spilled the fu*king pop all over the fu*king table by throwing that stupid thing at me.
Mom: Marc, he is 4 years old!
Harley: Sorry if you heard that in the background. My dad’s a little….mad right now.
Dad: All over the electrics too.
Mom: Well you don’t have to be a total as*hole about everything. How about you clean it up?
Dad: I am cleaning it up.
Harley: My dad’s being rude. Sorry.
Mom: He needs to learn how to throw s*it.
Mom: You’re mean. I don’t fu*king like this. This s*it that you do is done. You are so fu*king mean. He is a child! It was an accident. He’s gonna sit there and say “Oh I’m gonna fu*k up my mom and dad’s stuff?”
Dad: He knows
Mom: Okay well I think that’s...(inaudible)…fu*king hard. Um that’s not my phone thank you, that’s Nicole’s phone. Keep throwing her s*it.
Dad: Nicole who?
Mom: Last name redacted
Dad: Why do you have her phone? (Something inaudible)
Harley: My dad’s being an as*hole right now. My bad. (Deep sigh)
Dad: There you go with your mouth.
Mom: Oh my mouth?
Dad: Yeah.
Mom: How’s this? Take your and get the fu*k out of our lives. Because until you…(inaudible)…if I have to go to a doctor and get whatever….(inaudible). You have been nothing but…
Mom: You need a fu*king counselor.
Harley: Team you can pause the video if you want. There you go… There you go… I’m gonna have to see what’s going on with my family but I’ll see you guys next video. Peace.

Listen to this poor kid's voice when he says "I’m gonna have to see what’s going on with my family but I’ll see you guys next video. Peace."

To me, he sounds very depressed and upset. His home life is a mess. His Mom locks him out in the cold on the regular. His Dad has rage fuelled outbursts. There is family tension around the 4 yr old, who is really the grandson, but being raised as the son, and Mom and Dad are at each other's throats over the situation

I think children have killed themselves over less stressful conditions.

If that’s a functional family, then I sure as hell don’t want to see a dysfunctional one. That’s absolutely insane.

 

[Linda7NJ]

Despite his obviously difficult family there is nothing that points me to him being a suicidal, or even a danger seeking kid. In all of his videos he is happy, often mischievous, but not seeking danger. Why victim blame him at this point? Why even see him as suicidal?

As a therapist I have profiled this kid, I don't see him as suicidal. That sounds like what people who are close to him would like to purport as a justification. It doesn't mean it is true.

Well that got me into trouble when I profiled the people around him and the law enforcement in the area. Let's just say that if/when a body is found, maybe a competent forensic autopsy should be performed.

Yes I do believe Harley is no longer with us. It saddens me to say this.

I am just an old fart with a lot of opinions and a lot of heart. I will leave it up to you young sleuths to find the answer.

To the managers of this board, if I have overstepped my bounds, I am sorry. This is all my own opinion, both professionally and personally.

I can imagine a scenario....Harley left home, early & in a hurry at 6:08 after a huge fight that included someone threatening to end his SOCIAL MEDIA for good. The kid loved and lived for followers. School was about to be out for extended Christmas break, he had no phone, his trusted mentor wouldn’t be available, and zero social media. I can imagine why he wouldn’t be looking forward to being trapped in that house.

 

[KCmetwo]

If that’s a functional family, then I sure as hell don’t want to see a dysfunctional one. That’s absolutely insane.

Honestly do we know what "sane" is anymore?? I think we all have a LITTLE crazy in us....that family seems to have BAT runnin through their veins by the truck load IMO and that's just based on observation from HD's video's

 

[MassGuy]

Honestly do we know what "sane" is anymore?? I think we all have a LITTLE crazy in us....that family seems to have BAT **** runnin through their veins by the truck load IMO and that's just based on observation from HD's video's

I mean, quirky is one thing. But this ain’t that.

It just opens the door to a lot of possibilities.

 

[Desert Dude]

His voice is very flat and he sounds very depressed in many of his videos. His family dysfunction weighs on him.

Did you read the transcript of this nice family dinner?

snipped for brevity:

Listen to this poor kid's voice when he says "I’m gonna have to see what’s going on with my family but I’ll see you guys next video. Peace."

To me, he sounds very depressed and upset. His home life is a mess. His Mom locks him out in the cold on the regular. His Dad has rage fuelled outbursts. There is family tension around the 4 yr old, who is really the grandson, but being raised as the son, and Mom and Dad are at each other's throats over the situation

I think children have killed themselves over less stressful conditions.

Children also survive with worse. The fact that he just matter of factly closes the video also says a lot. I have seen, and worked with, a lot of kids on the autism spectrum. I feel confidant in the fact that he is on the high functioning level, most often known as a person with Aspergers. To be honest, killing themselves is the last thing on earth a kid with Aspergers would ever contemplate. It just wouldn't make sense to them.

In the horrible environment provided by his parents having his disability is actually a blessing. He recognizes his parents as being unacceptable, as being something he should be ashamed of, but he probably doesn't emotionally feel it is all that bad. He just knows from his learning, it is wrong.

The fact is, I doubt he would ever be suicidal. In 43 years of practice I have never had a suicidal Aspergers client. Homicidal, well that is another issue.

 

[KCmetwo]

I can imagine a scenario....Harley left home, early & in a hurry at 6:08 after a huge fight that included someone threatening to end his SOCIAL MEDIA for good. The kid loved and lived for followers. School was about to be out for extended Christmas break, he had no phone, his trusted mentor wouldn’t be available, and zero social media.

could it be possible that his "mentor" from school could be hiding him? their family could have taken him in and agreed to hide him, and are just keeping their mouths shut not saying anything because they know how his home life is?? Just a question since I just thought about that. They had all of these counselors at the school, news interviewed 1 kid the day school went back into session....JUST 1 KID and it was an older kid at that, one that could drive, NOT ONE HD'S AGE.....shouldn't they have tt one HD'S age to get THEIR reaction? It's odd that they go for an OLDER student, one that could be the age of someone in the mentor program.

 

[katydid23]

I mean, quirky is one thing. But this ain’t that.

It just opens the door to a lot of possibilities.

Yes. I don't think he did commit suicide. But I do think he was very depressed and lost.

And I believe it put him in harm's way too often because he was looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. So many possibilities where he may have been taken advantage of.

From very close to home, to the halfway house next door, to the neighbourhood mArket to a too friendly neighbour----so many potential land mines, for such a naive, trusting young boy.

 

[Linda7NJ]

could it be possible that his "mentor" from school could be hiding him? their family could have taken him in and agreed to hide him, and are just keeping their mouths shut not saying anything because they know how his home life is?? Just a question since I just thought about that. They had all of these counselors at the school, news interviewed 1 kid the day school went back into session....JUST 1 KID and it was an older kid at that, one that could drive, NOT ONE HD'S AGE.....shouldn't they have tt one HD'S age to get THEIR reaction? It's odd that they go for an OLDER student, one that could be the age of someone in the mentor program.

My understanding- his mentor was a school official, someone he confided in. Not a peer.

I would not want the media approaching my kid under any circumstances reguardless of age. I don’t think it’s appropriate.

 

[KCmetwo]

Children also survive with worse. The fact that he just matter of factly closes the video also says a lot. I have seen, and worked with, a lot of kids on the autism spectrum. I feel confidant in the fact that he his high functioning, most often known as a person with Aspergers. To be honest, killing themselves is the last thing on earth a kid with Aspergers would ever contemplate. It just wouldn't make sense to them.

In the horrible environment provided by his parents having his disability is actually a blessing. He recognizes his parents as being unacceptable, as being something he should be ashamed of, but he probably doesn't emotionally feel it is all that bad. He just knows from his learning, it is wrong.

The fact is, I doubt he would ever be suicidal. In 43 years of practice I have never had a suicidal Aspergers client. Homicidal, well that is another issue.

you want test subjects, I'll gladly let you borrow my kids one is 18 and is adhd and my 9 y/o had mild autism, so they have said as well as adhd....and a motor mouth. She has developmental delays and LOVES medical shows as well as Law and Order. She is a strange child. She HATES when a scheduled changes, I mean she will throw the BIGGEST tantrum on the face of the earth, the ENTIRE school hears it. You would swear she is 1/2 banshee...and things like "I didn't die when I got killed" has popped out of her mouth. My son is a gamer, for someone with adhd he can sit there for HOURS and do the same thing, but give him homework and he can't sit still...they didn't test him for the autism scale but he is similar to his sister when it comes to textures (they get it from me). BUT, if there is an argument in the house, he will continue to be on voice on his game unless I glare at him then he will go to typing.

The fact that HD shut his video off shows he has SOME respect for his family and that he doesn't want his subscribers to hear just how bad things get at his house. He possibly knew he was gonna get yelled at soon to come down and help out with the cleaning or he is protective of the sibling. The again he could also feel like he is the invisible one in the house. It could be that all the attention goes to the younger child in the house and HD has to insert himself so that the majority of whatever is going to happen lands on him instead of the younger child. I know how that goes, my brother did it for me. There is 11 1/2 years age difference between my brother and I and when he wasn't gettin me in trouble he was tryin to spare me from myself.

So, HD could have been tryin to spare the 4 y/o from getting hit to hard for the soda spill or what ever else riled his dad's temper.

 

[KCmetwo]

My understanding- his mentor was a school official, someone he confided in. Not a peer.

I would not want the media approaching my kid under any circumstances reguardless of age. I don’t think it’s appropriate.

Someone said that he had a mentor that was assigned through the school. The mentor that was a school official was the Vice Principal when he was in Middle School and that individual is at a different school now. He works in Springfield by my understanding.

 

[Linda7NJ]

Children also survive with worse. The fact that he just matter of factly closes the video also says a lot. I have seen, and worked with, a lot of kids on the autism spectrum. I feel confidant in the fact that he is on the high functioning level, most often known as a person with Aspergers. To be honest, killing themselves is the last thing on earth a kid with Aspergers would ever contemplate. It just wouldn't make sense to them.

In the horrible environment provided by his parents having his disability is actually a blessing. He recognizes his parents as being unacceptable, as being something he should be ashamed of, but he probably doesn't emotionally feel it is all that bad. He just knows from his learning, it is wrong.

The fact is, I doubt he would ever be suicidal. In 43 years of practice I have never had a suicidal Aspergers client. Homicidal, well that is another issue.

I gotta disagree with you on Harley. It seemed to bother him very much.
I don’t believe he has Aspergers.
If he was diagnosed, I don’t believe it’s accurate. It’s OVER DIAGNOSED like ADHD IMO.

 

[Linda7NJ]

Children also survive with worse. The fact that he just matter of factly closes the video also says a lot. I have seen, and worked with, a lot of kids on the autism spectrum. I feel confidant in the fact that he is on the high functioning level, most often known as a person with Aspergers. To be honest, killing themselves is the last thing on earth a kid with Aspergers would ever contemplate. It just wouldn't make sense to them.

In the horrible environment provided by his parents having his disability is actually a blessing. He recognizes his parents as being unacceptable, as being something he should be ashamed of, but he probably doesn't emotionally feel it is all that bad. He just knows from his learning, it is wrong.

The fact is, I doubt he would ever be suicidal. In 43 years of practice I have never had a suicidal Aspergers client. Homicidal, well that is another issue.

I gotta disagree with you on Harley. It seemed to bother him very much.
I don’t believe he has Aspergers.
If he was diagnosed, I don’t believe it’s accurate. It’s OVER DIAGNOSED like ADHD.

I was too confused & can’t figure out what they’re disagreeing about...scratching my head over here.

 

[Desert Dude]

I can imagine a scenario....Harley left home, early & in a hurry at 6:08 after a huge fight that included someone threatening to end his SOCIAL MEDIA for good. The kid loved and lived for followers. School was about to be out for extended Christmas break, he had no phone, his trusted mentor wouldn’t be available, and zero social media. I can imagine why he wouldn’t be looking forward to being trapped in that house.

The only time I heard him talk about a mentor was in middle school. Of course it is possible the mentor carried on to high school, but we don't know.

 

[KCmetwo]

Yes. I don't think he did commit suicide. But I do think he was very depressed and lost.

And I believe it put him in harm's way too often because he was looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. So many possibilities where he may have been taken advantage of.

From very close to home, to the halfway house next door, to the neighbourhood mArket to a too friendly neighbour----so many potential land mines, for such a naive, trusting young boy.

But he didn't trust to easily. He wouldn't commit suicide, BUT he would reach out for help...which I saw a lot of his video's as a cry for help IN A WAY and this is JMO. He was smart enough to know his mental state at the point in time and he would let people know in the video so that was always a plus that people know. BUT, he also let people know he had that ALLEGED stalker. I will say alleged as we don't know if it was verified. We know that the individual did say that he would find HD and that HD said that the individual showed up, BUT, there isn't proof from the other person's side. ( I had my son look on reddit and it looks like that one conversation was all there was unless the other individual did some deleting)

 

[Linda7NJ]

But he didn't trust to easily. He wouldn't commit suicide, BUT he would reach out for help...which I saw a lot of his video's as a cry for help IN A WAY and this is JMO. He was smart enough to know his mental state at the point in time and he would let people know in the video so that was always a plus that people know. BUT, he also let people know he had that ALLEGED stalker. I will say alleged as we don't know if it was verified. We know that the individual did say that he would find HD and that HD said that the individual showed up, BUT, there isn't proof from the other person's side. ( I had my son look on reddit and it looks like that one conversation was all there was unless the other individual did some deleting)

He trusted enough to broadcast his phone number online. That “doesn’t trust” & needs to “warm up to people” - I’m not buying that either.

 

[KCmetwo]

DesertDad posted:
Despite his obviously difficult family there is nothing that points me to him being a suicidal, or even a danger seeking kid. In all of his videos he is happy, often mischievous, but not seeking danger. Why victim blame him at this point? Why even see him as suicidal?


So DD says that HD is not a danger seeking kid. Not going to harm himself.

And yet we see him doing dangerous and harmful things in that span of time before he went missing. And we see him being emotionally affected by his dysfunctional family.

And when someone speculates that he may have had an accidental misadventure because of that emotional situation, DD calls that 'victim blaming .'

I disagree.

I see HD acting like a TEEN. A little reckless at times. Then again I own an 18 y/o that does stupid stuff all the time. When I was a teen I did stupid stuff like jumping off the roof of a garage into a pile of leaves. My family dynamic is confusing as all holy hello kitty. Lived with my Grandma, helped her out, dad's got CP, Mom is retired Military but was working at the post office, hardly ever saw her. My current family situation is.....I'm disabled my Mom helps me with my kids while their dad works. My dad is 82 still has CP BUT he broke his neck a couple years ago, my son helps with him my daughter drives us all froot loops. so it's just like when I was growing up. just a few slight changes. like more technology.

So HD was acting out like a teen and LE had him marked as a "UNRULY JUVENILE" that much has been established, BUT is that because he had the type of parents that would rather have LE raise their kids for them? In a deleted video that HD had he was scared b/c his Mom threatened to call LE on him and if she did that he would have 30 days in "Detention" which would be Juvie basically. This kid is afraid of cops, even though his grandfather used to be one.

 

[Linda7NJ]

I see HD acting like a TEEN. A little reckless at times. Then again I own an 18 y/o that does stupid stuff all the time. When I was a teen I did stupid stuff like jumping off the roof of a garage into a pile of leaves. My family dynamic is confusing as all holy hello kitty. Lived with my Grandma, helped her out, dad's got CP, Mom is retired Military but was working at the post office, hardly ever saw her. My current family situation is.....I'm disabled my Mom helps me with my kids while their dad works. My dad is 82 still has CP BUT he broke his neck a couple years ago, my son helps with him my daughter drives us all froot loops. so it's just like when I was growing up. just a few slight changes. like more technology.

So HD was acting out like a teen and LE had him marked as a "UNRULY JUVENILE" that much has been established, BUT is that because he had the type of parents that would rather have LE raise their kids for them? In a deleted video that HD had he was scared b/c his Mom threatened to call LE on him and if she did that he would have 30 days in "Detention" which would be Juvie basically. This kid is afraid of cops, even though his grandfather used to be one.

I thought “doing stupid stuff” was part of the job description for being a teenager?

I’ve never in my life run across a teenager that didn’t do INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS STUPID STUFF. It’s normal. It’s a miracle so many survive to be honest.

 

[Linda7NJ]

That unruly label didn’t do him any favors. Between that label & the delay in reporting him missing - he may never be found.

 

[KCmetwo]

I thought “doing stupid stuff” was part of the job description for being a teenager?

I’ve never in my life run across a teenager that didn’t do INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS STUPID STUFF. It’s normal. It’s a miracle so many survive to be honest.

It's in the job description "Do stupid stuff, attempt to give parents heart attack, make it to adult hood, keep goin"

That's what the job description of a teenager is!