OH OH - Roberta 'Bobby' Snider, 70, Hartville, 4 Jan 2018 *Guilty*

[dms]

Looking back at the obituary, it says "cremation services are being performed" -- not that Bobby has actually been cremated. I still think the obit was a pre-written part of her end-of-life arrangements that for some reason, someone went ahead and had published. The who and why of that are just a couple more big*** question marks in a story slam-full of 'em.

 

[justchrissy47]

I was on the fence when this story was first posted but when nothing more was being said in MSM I fell off the fence into the *suspicious circumstances* field.

Sent from my SM-G955W using Tapatalk

 

[houndpounder]

Obituary: Very possible when Mr. Snider arrived home he told his children she passed away, she was cremated, etc. so the children proceeded to publish an obituary as they await the ashes. After all it is their father. The children sincerely had no doubt to believe the story, and/or if he had the on set of dementia they weren't around him enough to know. Then when Bobby's brother found out he started questioning the entire scenario and realized something was not right and reported her as missing.

If she is not in the river, and was already dead, the ambulance workers would have to call the coroner. In NY the coroner would have to come to deem the death natural and possibly transported the body direct to a crematorium? Perhaps told Mr. Snider at the time even gave him the information which he lost??

Cleaning the car is not unusual after someone passed away in it, Actually you would have to.

 

[always reading]

Obituary: Very possible when Mr. Snider arrived home he told his children she passed away, she was cremated, etc. so the children proceeded to publish an obituary as they await the ashes. After all it is their father. The children sincerely had no doubt to believe the story, and/or if he had the on set of dementia they weren't around him enough to know. Then when Bobby's brother found out he started questioning the entire scenario and realized something was not right and reported her as missing.

If she is not in the river, and was already dead, the ambulance workers would have to call the coroner. In NY the coroner would have to come to deem the death natural and possibly transported the body direct to a crematorium? Perhaps told Mr. Snider at the time even gave him the information which he lost??

Cleaning the car is not unusual after someone passed away in it, Actually you would have to.

I just can't see any children being ok with dad coming home and saying oh your mom died on the trip and I had her cremated. Wouldn't the kids want to see their mom one last time? But do we know if they have kids?

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

 

[Doghairrules]

This is one of the strangest stories but I don't think LE is being crafty and trying to trick this old man when they say they believe him. For some reason unknown to us LE is believing his story even if they are changing.

Do they think he has dementia and the stories are changing because they know dementia patients can easily be confused? What story they may tell one day may be the total opposite the next day.

I was the caregiver for my father for 7 years when he suffered from dementia before passing away. They can tell some wild tales and they believe what they are saying at the time even if other people know it is not true. You can ask them the same question and get totally different answers on the same subject all depending on their memory or lack of each time. They often jumble up facts to make one story taking memories from long ago and distorting it in the present.

It would depend on his level of dementia whether he would be able to travel back home I would think. Many have dementia that haven't been diagnosed. They are able to go places they have consistently gone in the past. Had he taken Bobby to Graceland before this? The memory seems to still be there. It is their short term memory that causes them cognitive problems.

Maybe he had already thought if she passed away along the way he needed to either have her cremated or wrap her body in plastic and throw her into the water. Neither are logical ideas whatsoever but dementia patients do not posses thought processes many times that is like those who do not have it. To him it may have seemed reasonable but to everyone else it seems bizarre because it is to anyone not affected by these

IMO

Snipped for length (and I think I messed it up), but just wanted to say that this has been my experience with dementia as well. Many years ago, I was a caretaker for my grandparents, who both had dementia.

 

[houndpounder]

I just can't see any children being ok with dad coming home and saying oh your mom died on the trip and I had her cremated. Wouldn't the kids want to see their mom one last time? But do we know if they have kids?

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

The obituary clearly states they had 2 sons and grandchildren. Perhaps her wishes were always to be cremated. The family may not have the financial means to transport the body back to Ohio so they can see it, when her wish may have been to be cremated. When tragedies happen, people don't think clearly, the father may have just reacted and not thought to call his sons to fly to Memphis or where ever he was to see her body. His thought was to get back home.

Who knows the ashes may arrive at his house at the time, he could have given his address and not remembered.

 

[Doghairrules]

I just can't see any children being ok with dad coming home and saying oh your mom died on the trip and I had her cremated. Wouldn't the kids want to see their mom one last time? But do we know if they have kids?

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

They do have children - it’s in one of the links at the beginning.

Also, the dad of a friend of mine passed away suddenly on a trip a couple of years ago and that’s exactly what happened. Stepmom came home and his ashes were sent later.

 

[Steelslady]

If all that is true above, then why can't they find the ambulance drivers that took her body away or the coroner? Not to mention the hospital would have a record of a corpse being brought there- there wasn't any unreported corpses brought in without a name, or even her name.

Now he's claimed the threw her body in a river- obviously, the ambulance story is false, if he threw her in the river, so there would be no record of EMT's taking her away, a coroner pronouncing her dead, and a hospital record.

Her own brother got suspicious for a reason. Obviously, there is not a body to cremate, if she's in a river somewhere floating around. So if we go by that maybe the obituary was premade before she passed away, doesn't the funeral home have to confirm that there is a body delivered that was cremated, and that it was indeed, hers? Who made the decision to publish the obituary?

This just seems to be too complicated- all of the details, for a dementia person. I could see if some of that happened locally, but the distance traveled, buying trash bags, cleaning the car, dumping her in the river, driving home, having her obituary posted- it just seems too planned out to me.

Whatever happened to her, I hope they find her soon.

 

[flute4peace]

This is one of the strangest stories but I don't think LE is being crafty and trying to trick this old man when they say they believe him. For some reason unknown to us LE is believing his story even if they are changing.

Do they think he has dementia and the stories are changing because they know dementia patients can easily be confused? What story they may tell one day may be the total opposite the next day.

I was the caregiver for my father for 7 years when he suffered from dementia before passing away. They can tell some wild tales and they believe what they are saying at the time even if other people know it is not true. You can ask them the same question and get totally different answers on the same subject all depending on their memory or lack of each time. They often jumble up facts to make one story taking memories from long ago and distorting it in the present.

It would depend on his level of dementia whether he would be able to travel back home I would think. Many have dementia that haven't been diagnosed. They are able to go places they have consistently gone in the past. Had he taken Bobby to Graceland before this? The memory seems to still be there. It is their short term memory that causes them cognitive problems.

Maybe he had already thought if she passed away along the way he needed to either have her cremated or wrap her body in plastic and throw her into the water. Neither are logical ideas whatsoever but dementia patients do not posses thought processes many times that is like those who do not have it. To him it may have seemed reasonable but to everyone else it seems bizarre because it is to anyone not affected by these issues.

At the end we had to put my father in a convalescent care home since he was sun-downing so often and would leave his home. But one time he was able to walk away from even them and he had walked over a mile before the police finally located him. We were out looking too. He was walking in the correct direction that would have led back to his home even though it was still miles away. He told the police he was going to see my mom since she must be sick and that had to be the reason she hadn't been to see him. My mom had died 9 years before then. Their reality is simply not our reality but it is as real to them as ours is.

I just don't want to believe this man killed his wife after being married 53 years. Of course I know it can, and does happen, but for now I remain hopeful since the police do seem to believe him and they are the ones who have been talking with him. At least LE is continuing to speak with him and he is speaking with them.

His story may change even again. I just hope and pray LE can find Bobby and bring her home where she should be.

IMO

Thank you for sharing such a personal story. The information is very helpful.

Sent from my SCH-I435L using Tapatalk

 

[dms]

I don't think newspapers require confirmation from a funeral home before publishing an obituary. In my family at least, one of us writes the obit, forwards it to the paper, pays the publishing fee etc. The papers generally take your word for it.

Unfortunately, almost all the info we have in this case is conjecture based on Philip Snider's various statements -- very little hard info, when you think about it. I'd make a list, but I keep dozing off! :redface::redface:

 

[Cherry]

help,why is it I know I have heard this exact story before?
Man drives spouse to graceland, comes back without her, and has a whopper of a tale.
??

 

[Cherry]

http://www.crimeonline.com/2018/01/...-graceland-but-cops-still-cant-find-her-body/
Oh dear.

 

[oceanblueeyes]

http://www.crimeonline.com/2018/01/...-graceland-but-cops-still-cant-find-her-body/
Oh dear.

I think most likely Bobby was dead before he arrived at the Days Inn.

excerpt:

Back home in Ohio, police have said they believe the husband’s account of his wife’s death. They are also hoping her body will be found.

Hartville Police Chief Lawrence Dordea said the agency is “considering her to be a missing person.”

 

[oceanblueeyes]

I don't think newspapers require confirmation from a funeral home before publishing an obituary. In my family at least, one of us writes the obit, forwards it to the paper, pays the publishing fee etc. The papers generally take your word for it.

Unfortunately, almost all the info we have in this case is conjecture based on Philip Snider's various statements -- very little hard info, when you think about it. I'd make a list, but I keep dozing off! :redface::redface:

Here, where I live all funeral homes submits the obit to the newspapers for the families. The family gets with the funeral director and they gather the information/photo that is to be printed in whatever newspapers the family wants it in.

 

[oceanblueeyes]

Thank you for sharing such a personal story. The information is very helpful.

Sent from my SCH-I435L using Tapatalk

Thank you for your kind words.

Dementia patients can tell in great detail true stories about what happened years ago that is still held in their long term memory. They tell them thinking those things are happening in the present time. We were all grown when he got dementia yet our father thought my two younger brothers were still small children. Since I am 16 and 17 years older than my brothers he accepted that I was his adult child.

Where they struggle greatly is remembering what they may have done just minutes or days before since their short term memory is so profoundly affected.

The loss of short term memory actually helped my father live longer. He was fed well and would eat all of his food during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The problem was though... immediately after eating each time he would forget he had just eaten and would swear he had not been fed anything so to keep him calm they would feed him a little again. Sometimes it acts in reverse and some dementia patients will become very malnourished when they refuse to eat much of anything at all.

I hope today is the today Bobby is found and brought home.

 

[Gardener1850]

Thank you for your kind words.

Dementia patients can tell in great detail true stories about what happened years ago that is still held in their long term memory. They tell them thinking those things are happening in the present time. We were all grown when he got dementia yet our father thought my two younger brothers were still small children. Since I am 16 and 17 years older than my brothers he accepted that I was his adult child.

Where they struggle greatly is remembering what they may have done just minutes or days before since their short term memory is so profoundly affected.

The loss of short term memory actually helped my father live longer. He was fed well and would eat all of his food during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The problem was though... immediately after eating each time he would forget he had just eaten and would swear he had not been fed anything so to keep him calm they would feed him a little again. Sometimes it acts in reverse and some dementia patients will become very malnourished when they refuse to eat much of anything at all.

I hope today is the today Bobby is found and brought home.

My grandmother had dementia and would insist she had already eaten. She needed someone to sit with her and tell her every few minutes to take a bite or she would not eat at all. My mom spent every day visiting her in the assisted living facility for at least one meal so she could be sure she ate something that day. At the same time, if asked who she had seen that day she would insist no one ever came to visit her. My grandmother also told stories from the past in great detail as if they just happened. She would always say she milked the cow and fed her chickens that morning because she grew up on a farm. Towards the last few days of her life, when she didn't recognize any of us and did not say much at all, I brought her some old photos of her parents and siblings. I'll never forget how her eyes lit up with recognition when she saw them. She saw a picture of her father and said "daddy!" as if she was a very young child again. That was one of the last words I ever heard her say. It's a heartbreaking disease. I'm sorry you had to go through it with your father, Oceanblueeyes. :hug:

Back to this case, IF Mr. Snider has dementia , then the story of him flagging down an ambulance outside a hotel to take Bobby away may have happened in real life. It could have happened years ago when she had a medical incident and later recovered in the hospital. His brain may have simply brought up that memory first when asked "Where is Roberta?" and mixed up the details of her condition to make it make sense.

What does not make sense to me, however, is how he would come up with the story of wrapping her in plastic and putting her over a bridge. A few possible scenarios, IF we assume he has dementia or Alzheimer's:

1. Perhaps that is what actually happened and he finally remembered it --- but with this scenario I cannot figure out WHY he would do that to his wife if she died of natural causes. Was it something he had done before or seen done to someone? Did he suddenly realize she was dead but didn't remember how she died and panicked? This being a more recent event would be less likely to be recalled correctly if he has cognitive issues.

2. Perhaps the wrapping in plastic and dumping over a bridge is a memory from the past and didn't happen to Bobby-- but this is a really disturbing theory too as it would mean he either participated or witnessed someone else get wrapped in plastic and put over a bridge. Perhaps there is an innocent explanation, however, if he is recalling a tv episode where that happened. I'm not sure if dementia patients tell memories from tv, however, as if they are their own memories.

3. Perhaps he has early onset of Alzheimer's or dementia but is still sharp enough to attempt to deceive OR sharp enough to recall pieces of the story correctly. Perhaps there are elements of truth to the bridge story but he embellished-- either on purpose or due to the dementia. Unfortunately, if he has a medical doctor's diagnosis, it will be hard to figure out if he is competent enough for any possible charges. I'm guessing that LE recognize that and are trying to tread lightly so that they can keep communication open with him.

I'm really on the fence on what happened here. I just hope they find Bobby soon!

 

[houndpounder]

Who knows maybe he even left her some where alive and drove away if he has dementia???

 

[meanmaryjean]

My grandmother had dementia and would insist she had already eaten. She needed someone to sit with her and tell her every few minutes to take a bite or she would not eat at all. My mom spent every day visiting her in the assisted living facility for at least one meal so she could be sure she ate something that day. At the same time, if asked who she had seen that day she would insist no one ever came to visit her. My grandmother also told stories from the past in great detail as if they just happened. She would always say she milked the cow and fed her chickens that morning because she grew up on a farm. Towards the last few days of her life, when she didn't recognize any of us and did not say much at all, I brought her some old photos of her parents and siblings. I'll never forget how her eyes lit up with recognition when she saw them. She saw a picture of her father and said "daddy!" as if she was a very young child again. That was one of the last words I ever heard her say. It's a heartbreaking disease. I'm sorry you had to go through it with your father, Oceanblueeyes. :hug:

Back to this case, IF Mr. Snider has dementia , then the story of him flagging down an ambulance outside a hotel to take Bobby away may have happened in real life. It could have happened years ago when she had a medical incident and later recovered in the hospital. His brain may have simply brought up that memory first when asked "Where is Roberta?" and mixed up the details of her condition to make it make sense.

What does not make sense to me, however, is how he would come up with the story of wrapping her in plastic and putting her over a bridge. A few possible scenarios, IF we assume he has dementia or Alzheimer's:

1. Perhaps that is what actually happened and he finally remembered it --- but with this scenario I cannot figure out WHY he would do that to his wife if she died of natural causes. Was it something he had done before or seen done to someone? Did he suddenly realize she was dead but didn't remember how she died and panicked? This being a more recent event would be less likely to be recalled correctly if he has cognitive issues.

2. Perhaps the wrapping in plastic and dumping over a bridge is a memory from the past and didn't happen to Bobby-- but this is a really disturbing theory too as it would mean he either participated or witnessed someone else get wrapped in plastic and put over a bridge. Perhaps there is an innocent explanation, however, if he is recalling a tv episode where that happened. I'm not sure if dementia patients tell memories from tv, however, as if they are their own memories.

3. Perhaps he has early onset of Alzheimer's or dementia but is still sharp enough to attempt to deceive OR sharp enough to recall pieces of the story correctly. Perhaps there are elements of truth to the bridge story but he embellished-- either on purpose or due to the dementia. Unfortunately, if he has a medical doctor's diagnosis, it will be hard to figure out if he is competent enough for any possible charges. I'm guessing that LE recognize that and are trying to tread lightly so that they can keep communication open with him.

I'm really on the fence on what happened here. I just hope they find Bobby soon!

IF being the operative word! And it's a mighty big IF.

 

[oceanblueeyes]

It IS such a puzzle. A great mystery puzzle the police are trying hard to find the real answer to as to what really happened to Bobby and where she may be. If his thoughts continue to be disjointed and stories continue to change I feel very sorry for the police who are trying to sort it all out, and for her other family members too. I would be sick with worry not knowing where my mother may be whether she passed away from cancer or from any other reason.

While my father would speak in great detail at times of past memories he also could come up with the most off the wall stuff that made absolutely no sense except to him.

At times after we had to put him in the care home, I would ask him did he know why he was there. He would tell me the most outlandish tale saying he was there because he was with one of my long ago boyfriends and my boyfriend supposedly was with my daddy and got in a fight with someone and he said the police locked them both up. The truth is neither my ex-bf nor my father had ever been arrested by the police or locked up. Not before or since then. Where that particular story came from I really have never understood but he told it very often. He did tell me several times he was being held hostage, and I needed to call the police. One time he even told one of the postal workers who was dropping off the mail he was being held hostage and someone was trying to murder him. Of course all of it was not true whatsoever but there was simply no reason to try and tell him any differently. It would have only caused him to be angry and very hard to manage for his caregivers.

The best thing to do for dementia patients is to make them believe you believe what they are saying is true. To argue with a dementia patient only upsets them greatly. Then they think you are actually the one having mental problems.

I have seen caregivers in the past argue constantly with a dementia family member and it highly irritated me and how little they knew about caring for one who has dementia.

I still see at times around town when I am shopping when the patient is taken out by those who I assume are family members or paid caregivers and see the constant arguing that is done with the dementia patient. I have had to step away and go to another area of the store or leave. I cant stand to listen to it or see it.

To me it is a form of abuse since there are so many ways to learn how to deal with someone correctly who is affected with short term memory loss.

So if Bobby's husband does have any form of memory loss I believe the police are handling him very gently hoping he can recall what happened and where Bobby is. I am sure if he has this they have brought in trained professionals to speak with him.

IMO

 

[Elainera]

http://www.crimeonline.com/2018/01/...-graceland-but-cops-still-cant-find-her-body/
Oh dear.

From this article:

While he was at the hotel, she noted that he “was constantly asking about which car wash was near and if there are some open.”

Sounds like he repeatedly asked the same question? Which would be in line with dementia or Alzheimer. My grandmother had Alzheimer, she would ask us the same thing over and over and over ...

But his claim that she died of cancer while on the way does not ring true. Aren't cancer patients in their last days weak and bedridden and often need strong painkillers? Plus, I believe she might not even have been fully conscious over the past 24 hours or so. Dying from cancer is not a sudden death. You don't feel well enough to go on a trip and then suddenly in the car, poof, you die. That's not how this disease unfolds. Unless there's complications such as a heart attack.

If she did die of cancer while they were on the road he must have loaded a very weak, barely conscious, suffering woman into the car, possibly lying on the back seat, where she then passed. He would have had to lift her into the car, and later out of it. I don't know how fit and strong he is but I doubt the story, just as much as I doubt he threw her over a bridge railing. Even without dementia this sounds like quite an arduous task for a 70 year old. As has been said before, she wasn't a petite woman.

But if neither the ambulance story nor the cancer death/bridge story is true - whatever happened??

It's just all so bizarre.

I tend to believe he has no clue what happened to Bobby (due to dementia) and is making up stories because he doesn't want to admit that he somehow, somewhere left/lost/forgot his wife and can't remember any of it.

I wonder if they found any evidence of her dying in the car.

All just moo.