As tlcox says, your family has gone and is still going thru a difficult time, i also am glad you can vent here.
My child and i had CPS involved in our lives for 10 years, difference is i went to them, other than to say it was hard to get there attention at the start, CPS was one of the best things in my childs and my life, I begged CPS to take him or teach me. He was in protective custody for 10 years(which means i keep him but CPS can and would take him, when things got unstable) there was partial foster care so he could experiance a normal -2 parent with sibling family, mental health councellors, parenting classes, and on and on. I gave up my pride, my possesiveness, my power so i could hold on to him.
The point to that story is, your family has gone thru a terrible experiance, understandably you all need to come to peace with it. The bio father is not much touched by the situation so to CPS he will seem the most stable. You cannot fight with CPS, you cannot let your issues as valid as they are, become part of your relashionship with CPS. Only the childs well being is important, is she getting councelling, is there anything you can do that CPS can support you with, those are the things you can push for, ask them to do the most they can for the child do not fight.
You said the child is angry, she has a right to be, it is beautiful to see that you are so understanding of her and her needs, you are really a very good wise grandma. Things may not work out the way you hope, but you will never loose her, you love and care for her so very much. The child cannot make her own choices now, but she can and will in the future. Your doing the best you can for her, i wish you and your family well.
With CPS breath slow, count to 10 or maybe 100, good luck.
