OK OK - Stephen “Steve” Lee Murphy, last seen in Claremore sometime in 1976, not reported missing until July 2022 Thread #2

[subaw0067]

Hello Sleuthers,

Earlier today a friend sent me a message asking for help doing research on a missing person (the father of her friend). He was last seen in Claremore Oklahoma sometime in 1976. For a multitude of reasons, a missing persons report was not filed until last week in Tulsa.

STEPHEN "STEVE" LEE MURPHY
DOB: April 5, 1957 in Claremore Oklahoma

5’4”-5’7” 140-180lbs Brown hair, brown eyes

MOTHER: Mary Jane Hamm
FATHER: Tommy Wayne Murphy.

A.G. Bell junior high school 1970-1972, Tulsa, OK
Will Rogers High School graduate 1975, Tulsa, OK- DECA, Chess Club, Martial Arts, brought bible to school daily per classmate’s report. Went by "Steve"

Married June 2 1975 to in Tulsa. His uncle hadn't heard from him since about 1976. When my mother filed for divorce she had to put it in the newspaper as he couldn't be located, 1980 in the Tulsa Tribune, July 18,25, August 1, 8 publication.

MP’s mother reportedly told his siblings that “he went into the Marines and escaped still with handcuffs on and therefore went AWOL never seen again”.. When they asked about his whereabouts.

Where is Stephen Lee Murphy?

Thread #1

 

[Knitty]

Please continue here.

 

[vls12345]

@Snoangel26, sending you condolences on the passing of your mom.

 

[truthfinder2019]

Steve looks just like his mother.

Obituary information for Mary Jane Clark

View Mary Jane Clark's obituary, contribute to their memorial, see their funeral service details, and more.

www.highsmithfh.com

He is not mentioned in his sister’s obit, contrary to that of his mom

Kathy Jane Murphy - View Obituary & Service Information

Share Memories and Support the Family.

www.floralhaven.com

What about his brother J.M. ? Does he recall anything ?

 

[Snoangel26]

Steve looks just like his mother.

Obituary information for Mary Jane Clark

View Mary Jane Clark's obituary, contribute to their memorial, see their funeral service details, and more.

www.highsmithfh.com

He is not mentioned in his sister’s obit, contrary to that of his mom

Kathy Jane Murphy - View Obituary & Service Information

Share Memories and Support the Family.

www.floralhaven.com

What about his brother J.M. ? Does he recall anything ?

I don't know why he wasn't mentioned in his sister Kathy's obituary. I have spoken with his brother Jimmy, he couldn't tell me much

 

[summergirl1]

What was the story about an uncle of his last seeing him? The uncle said he walked off and said he would be fine? I found references to it in the original thread. I couldn't find all the info as it's a long thread. From what I gathered from that thread, it's not known when in 1976 that was but according to the official time-line, it would before Nov 1976 when the military last had contact with him and according to his mother, he was never heard from again. So the last documented record of him is in Nov 1976 in CA it sounds like.

Maybe his mother was so upset about what happened with his military service that she just couldn't deal with the whole thing again unless he contacted them? Officially, it sounds like the story she told your aunt was something the military told her and that she didn't hear from her son at that time. It's a dramatic story, not just a mention of he was discharged from the military for not showing up. I wonder if your aunt remembers the story correctly or even if his mother remembered whatever the military told her correctly. From the info in the first thread, she had more children born around that time and it sounds like her focus was on (perhaps) her new family and not on what happened to an older son who didn't have a good military record. Perhaps years later she felt bad she had focused on her new family at that time and didn't look into what might have happened with her older son besides whatever info she got from the military so she couldn't bring herself to answer letters about it, or she just couldn't deal with whatever happened or might have happened to her son. Maybe even she didn't remember exactly what the military told her precisely as it doesn't seem to be exactly what happened from the info received from the military records so far. But she passed along the story as best she could remember?

She may have been angry she never heard from him again? Or maybe she felt she was honoring his wishes by not looking for him? Although if that was the case, I'm not sure why she wouldn't have responded and told you that? It could be the whole subject was too painful. It's hard to know if she believed he was living or not, from the posts I've read on here anyway. Many families of missing persons never reported missing who turn out to be Does basically believed the family member was just out living their life and would get in touch if they wanted to..then they find out it was because the family member couldn't.

Of course that's supposing she knew nothing except whatever the military told her. Perhaps she knew whatever his new identity was/is and because she feared he would or he fears/feared getting in trouble for what happened with the military or other things took the secret to her grave? It doesn't particularly sound like he is living, though. Hmm. Without getting his whole military record that I think you posted couldn't be found or you couldn't get unless he was declared deceased, there's definitely missing answers.

 

[Valiant]

it was not uncommon for family members to cut off other family members for real or perceived slights. Or to pretend relatives don't exist because of some past embarrassing situation. And before the internet and the popularity of genealogy it was often a permanent break.
Growing up, I saw both in my family. Especially when there are re-marriages involved.

 

[Snoangel26]

What was the story about an uncle of his last seeing him? The uncle said he walked off and said he would be fine? I found references to it in the original thread. I couldn't find all the info as it's a long thread. From what I gathered from that thread, it's not known when in 1976 that was but according to the official time-line, it would before Nov 1976 when the military last had contact with him and according to his mother, he was never heard from again. So the last documented record of him is in Nov 1976 in CA it sounds like.

Maybe his mother was so upset about what happened with his military service that she just couldn't deal with the whole thing again unless he contacted them? Officially, it sounds like the story she told your aunt was something the military told her and that she didn't hear from her son at that time. It's a dramatic story, not just a mention of he was discharged from the military for not showing up. I wonder if your aunt remembers the story correctly or even if his mother remembered whatever the military told her correctly. From the info in the first thread, she had more children born around that time and it sounds like her focus was on (perhaps) her new family and not on what happened to an older son who didn't have a good military record. Perhaps years later she felt bad she had focused on her new family at that time and didn't look into what might have happened with her older son besides whatever info she got from the military so she couldn't bring herself to answer letters about it, or she just couldn't deal with whatever happened or might have happened to her son. Maybe even she didn't remember exactly what the military told her precisely as it doesn't seem to be exactly what happened from the info received from the military records so far. But she passed along the story as best she could remember?

She may have been angry she never heard from him again? Or maybe she felt she was honoring his wishes by not looking for him? Although if that was the case, I'm not sure why she wouldn't have responded and told you that? It could be the whole subject was too painful. It's hard to know if she believed he was living or not, from the posts I've read on here anyway. Many families of missing persons never reported missing who turn out to be Does basically believed the family member was just out living their life and would get in touch if they wanted to..then they find out it was because the family member couldn't.

Of course that's supposing she knew nothing except whatever the military told her. Perhaps she knew whatever his new identity was/is and because she feared he would or he fears/feared getting in trouble for what happened with the military or other things took the secret to her grave? It doesn't particularly sound like he is living, though. Hmm. Without getting his whole military record that I think you posted couldn't be found or you couldn't get unless he was declared deceased, there's definitely missing answers.

I agree. And I'm not sure if his full unredacted military file would be released. I do have his SSN, DOB, PARENTS NAMES

 

[Snoangel26]

it was not uncommon for family members to cut off other family members for real or perceived slights. Or to pretend relatives don't exist because of some past embarrassing situation. And before the internet and the popularity of genealogy it was often a permanent break.
Growing up, I saw both in my family. Especially when there are re-marriages involved.

It's really sad. I couldn't imagine not having contact with my children and siblings.

 

[Rush4087]

What kind of person was the uncle? Did he and Steve get along well?

 

[Charlot123]

It's really sad. I couldn't imagine not having contact with my children and siblings.

When I looked at my mom and her brother, I always thought, their parents must have done something right. They were best siblings I saw, and that included dividing their inheritance more than amicably, and many other situations. And yet when I started making the family tree, I realized that it was precisely my maternal grandpa’s family where someone would always be on no speaking terms with someone else. My grandpa and his mom didn’t talk, his sister and her son didn't either; my second uncle’s kids stopped talking to their father, and the same guy didn’t speak to his brother. And since it is a huge family, someone at the same time also adores some cousins or such. Now when I hear about yet one more fact, I say, “it’s in the genes”.

I am just sharing it because in some families, there is no clear “why”. As the keeper of the tree, I try to find out the reason in each case (and individually many make sense!), but the pattern led me think that some people consciously allow themselves to hold on to grudges. I think it is useless and toxic.

Having read through the previous thread, I wonder if Steve’s disappearance was some sort of an off-camp accident that was never properly investigated. Not a true cover up, but since no relatives were curious, it was easy to call it AWOL and close the case. Hazing or drunken brawl at a nearby pub could end up this way. Anyhow, wish you to get to the truth.

 

[Snoangel26]

When I looked at my mom and her brother, I always thought, their parents must have done something right. They were best siblings I saw, and that included dividing their inheritance more than amicably, and many other situations. And yet when I started making the family tree, I realized that it was precisely my maternal grandpa’s family where someone would always be on no speaking terms with someone else. My grandpa and his mom didn’t talk, his sister and her son didn't either; my second uncle’s kids stopped talking to their father, and the same guy didn’t speak to his brother. And since it is a huge family, someone at the same time also adores some cousins or such. Now when I hear about yet one more fact, I say, “it’s in the genes”.

I am just sharing it because in some families, there is no clear “why”. As the keeper of the tree, I try to find out the reason in each case (and individually many make sense!), but the pattern led me think that some people consciously allow themselves to hold on to grudges. I think it is useless and toxic.

Having read through the previous thread, I wonder if Steve’s disappearance was some sort of an off-camp accident that was never properly investigated. Not a true cover up, but since no relatives were curious, it was easy to call it AWOL and close the case. Hazing or drunken brawl at a nearby pub could end up this way. Anyhow, wish you to get to the truth.

That makes sense to me. And the "why" is what gets me. The unanswered questions bug me. But with no one willing to speak or no one around they stay unanswered

 

[Snoangel26]

What kind of person was the uncle? Did he and Steve get along well?

As far as I could gather they did get along. But I haven't heard from the uncle in over a year

 

[Charlot123]

That makes sense to me. And the "why" is what gets me. The unanswered questions bug me. But with no one willing to speak or no one around they stay unanswered

Having followed your thread, I can’t but admire the job you have done. It is easy to explain it by your interest, but one can look at it from another angle: if something pushes you so hard for answers, maybe Steve would have wanted you to know them. Maybe it is of importance not only for you, but for him, too.
I don’t have a crystal ball, but objectively it doesn’t look like he just wanted to disappear. Some accident. I know it is vexing not to know the truth. But sometimes answers do come to us on their own. Someone else, on another side of the country, one day might get interested in finding out about their family, and unexpectedly reaches out to you. I wish that it happens!

 

[truthfinder2019]

I tried to stay up to date and read most of thread#1 on this case but I could not find any mention of a potential link to a “Ross” family in CA as found below.

Has anyone access to ancestry to open the Ross family tree please ? I tried to pay a subscription but it won’t let me.

Ancestry mentions a Stephen Lee Murphy born in OK, with parents dob matching Tommy and Mary, and a blurred deceased date in CA as taken from a Ross family tree, see snip below, link also pasted

Stephen lee Murphy - Ancestry.com

 

[truthfinder2019]

Missing Stephen Murphy

From Camp Pedleton, CA

missingpeopleinamerica.org

 

[nhmemorymaker]

I tried to stay up to date and read most of thread#1 on this case but I could not find any mention of a potential link to a “Ross” family in CA as found below.

Has anyone access to ancestry to open the Ross family tree please ? I tried to pay a subscription but it won’t let me.

Ancestry mentions a Stephen Lee Murphy born in OK, with parents dob matching Tommy and Mary, and a blurred deceased date in CA as taken from a Ross family tree, see snip below, link also pasted

View attachment 539103

Stephen lee Murphy - Ancestry.com

I have membership and could read all the data.
The death date says 1976.
But I have to dig a bit deeper to see more about the Ross family. The owner of the Tree is in Loveland CO.

Stephen's father had sooo many siblings. That often means that there are too many offspring to keep track of, and no one remembered missing kids of all their siblings!
But I have not found the specific Ross link.... I have pulled up the Ross folks in the tree, but no specific link to the Murphys... yet.


Snoangel probably knows this connection. She had an Ancestry entry for Stephen already....

 

[truthfinder2019]

I have membership and could read all the data.
The death date says 1976.
But I have to dig a bit deeper to see more about the Ross family. The owner of the Tree is in Loveland CO.

Stephen's father had sooo many siblings. That often means that there are too many offspring to keep track of, and no one remembered missing kids of all their siblings!
But I have not found the specific Ross link.... I have pulled up the Ross folks in the tree, but no specific link to the Murphys... yet.


Snoangel probably knows this connection. She had an Ancestry entry for Stephen already....

Woukd you pls mind PM me the details of the Ross tree?

Thx a lot

 

[Snoangel26]

I tried to stay up to date and read most of thread#1 on this case but I could not find any mention of a potential link to a “Ross” family in CA as found below.

Has anyone access to ancestry to open the Ross family tree please ? I tried to pay a subscription but it won’t let me.

Ancestry mentions a Stephen Lee Murphy born in OK, with parents dob matching Tommy and Mary, and a blurred deceased date in CA as taken from a Ross family tree, see snip below, link also pasted

View attachment 539103

Stephen lee Murphy - Ancestry.com

My grandparents were Tommy and Mary Jane. I have not seen the connection concerning Ross family

 

[lightofmine99]

@Snoangel26 I first heard of this story through a YouTube video by Dark Curiosities (I recommend this channel). It reminded me of you and your dad's case. I thought I would share an article about the story here; maybe it will be a morale boost.

Woman’s search for biological father linked to 50-year mystery of a 1971 Oregon John Doe known as ‘Frog Boy’

The body was found in Snedden Creek in Coos County, Oregon in July of 1971. He was identified as missing Idaho teen Winston “Wint” Arthur Maxey III in 2021. But the question remains: What happened to him 5 decades ago?

www.nbcnews.com

I can't access YouTube at work but the video is titled "Winston Maxey: The Snedden Creek Mystery" and is one of her recent releases. There is also a thread here about the case.