PA Parents Sue Over Priest Impregnating Their Daughter

[Pensfan]

(Sticking my head into a RC discussion where I don't belong, but forever hoping that the RC Church and Orthodox Church will be able to reunite someday)

I hope that the Holy Father will soon begin to allow candidates for the priesthood to marry before they take they become ordained to the priesthood. There have been many studies on RC seminaries and the actions of their graduates (walking on egg shells here...hang with me). RC seminaries would benefit by allowing men who wished to be married and married men as students to enter.


Now on topic-The parents in this story have very questionable judgement.

 

[VespaElf]

And the rest of the article says that he was her spiritual counselor, she suffered from mental health issues and had previously been sexually abused by an adult man.

I'm not so sure she was 18 when they first had sex. She was 18 when they were video taped, but it doesn't say when the sex relationship started. Now, this man is 41, she is 19 - he is 22 years her senior. He was in a position of authority over her, and as her spiritual counselor, he should have had her best interests in mind.

Now she has given birth and told her parents to get away. I'm sure they were frustrated and fearful for their daughter and they are trying to win her back.

Maybe filing the suit was the only way to get everyone's attention?

Salem

ETA: the link: http://www.philly.com/philly/news/20100828_Suit_says_priest_impregnated_teenager.html?cmpid=41144277

THANK YOU SALEM! I thought I was alone in seeing this situation differently than the majority of posters!!!

IMO these people turned to their church & religion to help them when their family has issues.Their vulnerable daughter was groomed & abused by someone in authority who they trusted.They took their concerns to the school & the church & were ,basically,shown the door.Their church denied it,the 'Priest' denied it & the child denied it.
I am sure they questioned THEMSELVES many,many times.Was it "just them"?Was anything untoward actually going on? All the while this child was manipulated & alienated by her abuser.The child then became a legal adult & clearly the 'situation' with the 'Priest' continued as well as startling behavior from the child toward her parents(allegedly) & her pregnancy from an "unknown father"(no pun intended) so the parents(the owners of the home) installed security cameras inside their home(as is their right....nothing illegal or litigious there) & unfortunately captured confirmation of their suspicions that their now adult daughter was indeed involved sexually with an adult 'Priest'(2 adults having sex is not child pornography & two adults having sex in someone elses home getting caught on tape is NOT invasion of privacy as it ain't their house). These people (& their daughter although she doesn't realize it yet)have been taken advantage of,manipulated & abused by THEIR Church who used their faith against them to violate the entire family.
Hell yes they needed to have proof and bring this to light & ,imo,their 50k is chump change compared to other settlements we have seen and since these people have to go up against the deep coffers of the Catholic Church this amount will likely just cover their legal bills.
These people want their daughter back & her abuser punished-period.

I guarantee if this was a MALE victim with a Priest everyone would be singing a different tune!!!!!!!!

I am praying this young,damaged woman finds her way home & gets her baby away from this pedophile(god help us if it's a girl baby)& rebuilds her relationship with her family.
I pray the Church FOR ONCE does the right thing with this Priest *AND* I especially pray this horrible situation has not stolen away this family's faith!!!

 

[jjenny]

The parents might want their daughter back, but their daughter is an adult now and as such can really do as she wants.

 

[WhyaDuck?]

In some states and jurisdictions, an adult in a position of authority cannot have sex with a student or someone in their charge until later than the "regular" age of consent. Not sure about PA, but maybe this is what is at play here?

ETA: Can't find anything about that in the PA statutes, so it must be 16, straight up. So, sorry, this post turns out to be irrelevant.

 

[Belinda]

I'm not saying the priest is innocent in all of this. Far from it, especially if he was in a position of authority. However, my problem with the parents is the way they handled it. If they had suspicions about the priest, why did they allow him to spend time in the basement with their daughter? I find that highly suspicious. It is their house. They were not required to allow him in it. Unless this all took place while they were not home, but that isn't the sense that I got from the article. Then they videotaped it and instead of taking it to police, they took it straight to the church and demanded money. It just sets my hinky meter off.

 

[Salem]

Well I certainly don't know what happened here and I think everybody is asking excellent questions.

The way I am understanding the articles, is that the parents DID try to do something about this relationship. The parents seemed to feel that something was not right. They went to the school and got no help. They went to the church and got no help. Maybe everyone just thought they were over protective parents? I don't know. But it seems to me that when they kept hitting the brick wall, they probably were second-guessing their own instincts and that's why they installed the video cameras.

Then when they had proof, they were still blown off, because now she is 18.

Why was this man the spiritual advisor? What was he counseling the young woman about? Was it the previous abuse? Was he trying to help her deal with issues stemming from what ever had happened?

The dude has 20 years on this young woman. Now I know years don't always mean a lot, but 40 to 20 is a LOOOOOOOOOnnnnng ways in my opinion. Especially if the young woman had always lived with her parents and never been out on her own.

Maybe the parents just didn't know what to do? Their daughter is becoming more and more alienated from them, maybe they thought if they went to the police, it would make their daughter really hate them? And they were trying to find the best way to approach the situation with out making the family situation worse? I don't know. Maybe it is as many have said - the parents are just out there? I don't know.

I'm just seeing this as a 41 year old man counseling a 17-19 year old female with prior issues of sexual abuse. And now this young woman lives with this man, has a baby and has in essence told her parents to take a hike. If she were my daughter, I would be freaking out.

Just sayin'

Salem

ETA: I would love to see the papers they filed - it might explain a lot more about what the parents were thinking.

 

[Belinda]

Good points, Salem. Hopefully we will hear more about this case and be able to m ore fully understand who did what, when and why. I definitely agree about that the relationship is highly inappropriate.

 

[Salem]

There are laws about psychologists having sex with patients and I see this as the same type of situation. However, researching PA's statutes is a pain so I have to give up for now. But I'll look again later.

Salem

 

[jjenny]

She is an adult now and she met him at 17, at which age I presume someone is able to make their own decisions. She also was above the age of consent when she met him.
Whether the relationship was appropriate or not, it appears to me it was not illegal.

 

[Salem]

And maybe that's why there have been no criminal charges. Because she was of the age of consent. Still there may be laws about the counselor sleeping with his client?


Salem

 

[VespaElf]

And maybe that's why there have been no criminal charges. Because she was of the age of consent. Still there may be laws about the counselor sleeping with his client?


Salem

I think charges could be brought if it could be proven that when this started she was underage(which I think,imo,it probably did)however it'd require evidence likely in the form of the girl's testimony & I don't see that happening at this stage in her life.

<sigh>Filly is indeed correct....the Thornbirds this aint!

 

[jjenny]

I think charges could be brought if it could be proven that when this started she was underage(which I think,imo,it probably did)however it'd require evidence likely in the form of the girl's testimony & I don't see that happening at this stage in her life.

<sigh>Filly is indeed correct....the Thornbirds this aint!

On what basis would the charges be brought? They met when she was 17 which is above the age of consent. So even if the girl were to give testimony it's not illegal.

 

[Cubby]

(Sticking my head into a RC discussion where I don't belong, but forever hoping that the RC Church and Orthodox Church will be able to reunite someday)

I hope that the Holy Father will soon begin to allow candidates for the priesthood to marry before they take they become ordained to the priesthood. There have been many studies on RC seminaries and the actions of their graduates (walking on egg shells here...hang with me). RC seminaries would benefit by allowing men who wished to be married and married men as students to enter.


Now on topic-The parents in this story have very questionable judgement.

No worries walking on egg shells. I very much appreciate your honest thoughts. Differences of opinion are always welcome as long as they are within TOS.

I respect your thoughts and agree with them, however I do not believe that will ever change. (Kind of in the same manner the bradley ammendment with regards to child support will never change though it is highly debated.) on another note I do not believe the Catholic Church will ever allow women priests. however, because of that, it does not mean a devout person can nit seek other rewarding and much needed positions within the church. It all goes back to options and choices. We are not always granted availability to the optimum choice, thus sometimes we need to seek the next best alternative. In anything........

Clearly this man should not have made the choice to become a priest. I'm not ready to jump all over him solely because he broke his vows and had sex with a former student after she became a legal adult of the age to consent. Yes, he should have left the priesthood before consumating a sexual relationship, but at this point, from what I have read, we have NO PROOF the allegations the daughter is mentally ill and was sexually abused by an adult male which are coming from the persons -her parents- who are seeking MONETARY not criminal damages nor are they seeking any court ordered guardianship of this now adult.

Respectfully, my gut tells me they are highly devout hispanic or latino Catholics which are culturally different in their devotion as Catholics than other various Catholic communities.... and they are simply mortified this happened. My gut tells me this is a moral issue for them and this has to do with retaining their honor? Not the best choice of words but what is coming to mind. - and seeking some kind of moral remand for what occured.

Realistically priests are not doctors, yes they can spiritually counsel, but they do not have the medical science or education to properly diagnose or counsel someone with actual mental illness.

jmo respectfully.

 

[Cubby]

THANK YOU SALEM! I thought I was alone in seeing this situation differently than the majority of posters!!!

IMO these people turned to their church & religion to help them when their family has issues.Their vulnerable daughter was groomed & abused by someone in authority who they trusted.They took their concerns to the school & the church & were ,basically,shown the door.Their church denied it,the 'Priest' denied it & the child denied it.

Correction, the priest did NOT deny it.

According to the suit, Bonilla was removed from his posts after the girl's parents showed the diocese a videotape of the priest having sex with their daughter in the basement of the couple's home.

At the time, Bonilla acknowledged an inappropriate relationship with the teen,

http://readingeagle.com/article.aspx?id=244723



And yes, I think it is immoral this occured while he was a priest but I also think it was immoral that parents would video tape their ADULT child having sex with anyone. I don't care if it is their home or not. If you think something is going on in your home as parents they had the choice to NOT allow the two to be alone, yet they still did and by installing the video camera it is CLEAR their INTENTION was to set them up and catch them in the act.

Why did they simply NOT allow the priest back into their home if they were suspicious? The parents are the ones who welcomed this man back into their home AFTER they had suspicions.

jmo

 

[Cubby]

And maybe that's why there have been no criminal charges. Because she was of the age of consent. Still there may be laws about the counselor sleeping with his client?


Salem

If she is of sound mind and of legal age, I think the only repercussion is to lose ones 'license or credentials' so to speak. Not sure how exactly to word it, but the priest was removed from his position and not re-assigned.

For example, let's use a secular example. If a psychiatrist is sleeping with is patient- who is of legal age to consent to a sexual relationship- the psychiatrist is quilty of violating the doctor patient relationship and loses their right to practise medicine. They are not criminally charged, unless for example that adult is deemed to have medical issues such as a handicap of somekind or mental health issues which legally make them unable to make adult decisions.

 

[Cubby]

I went to Catholic school through 8th grade and then onto public HS.

When I went to college, one of the girls I roomed with was from an all girls Catholic High school. There were several other girls in the dorm from all girls catholic HS's. Let me tell you, these girls were so niave, so hidden from the real world and had such overbearing parents they went freaking wild in College! They did not yet know what fellatio was.... and I was kind of like huh? how did you make it out of High School not knowing what that is?

These girls went completely wild once they turned 18 because they didn't have time or parents who ALLOWED THEM to be normal teens. I went to a lot of parties in HS. Did some underage drinking but KNEW my boundaries. Never missed curfew and was NEVER arrested. BECAUSE I was permitted to be a normal teen I didn't go nuts with the first chance of freedom after turning 18.

After all I have read my gut really tells me these parents were overbearing and are as equally responsible for a young 18 yr old girl not being well prepared to enter adulthood and make wise choices for herself. However, now that she IS a legal adult she can and will make some wise and not so wise choices for herself UNTIL and IF a court of law determines she is 'not of sound mind' to make adult choices for herself. I do NOT see thecourts determining this 18 year old woman is incapacitated in any way that she would 'lose' her legal status as an adult.

JMVHO

 

[Steely Dan]

I don't know if this is true or not but just for the sake of argument let's say that the parents sought help from the church and they felt the church wasn't doing anything to help them. I could see them bringing suit against the church just in anger.

As I said I don't know if it's true or not but it would make the parents look better if true.

 

[Cubby]

I don't know if this is true or not but just for the sake of argument let's say that the parents sought help from the church and they felt the church wasn't doing anything to help them. I could see them bringing suit against the church just in anger.

As I said I don't know if it's true or not but it would make the parents look better if true.

One of the articles did state that the parents went to the school and the school 'investigated' and told the parents there was no proof of anything.

From reading the articles it appears their sexual relationship began AFTER she graduated HS. There were a few girls I recall in HS, one in particular who married our HS science teacher AFTER graduation. They had been fond of each other but waited until she was no longer a student to have a relationship. We have NO proof the same didn't happen here, and it wouldn't be 'newsworthy' if the male involved was not a priest.

jmo

 

[Cubby]

Another thing, who cares about the age difference? It is NOT against the law for an 18 year old to marry a 40 year old. We raise our eyes at such age gaps because 'society' believes something is inappropriate about huge age gaps in relationships between consenting adults.

My sister has been in a relationship with a man appx 24 years her elder for appx 10 years. He's a few years shy of our parents. IIRC the relationship began when she was just under 30 and he was in his early 50's.

When I was 22 I dated a 40 yr old man. So what! No it didn't work, but it was nice while it lasted.

Oh the shame if couples are more than a few years apart prior to say 40. lol

ETA: This would NOT be newsworthy if a Catholic priest chose to leave the priesthood because he wished to marry and knew he could no longer adhere to his vow of celibacy-which many have. It is newsworthy because he broke his vow and people love to point: 'EW he sinned, he sinned!". What does the bible say, let him without sin cast the first stone. Oh how people love to point out the sins of others - particularly when they are not charged with or convicted of a crime.

THIS PRIEST HAS NOT BEEN CHARGED WITH A CRIME.

JMVHO

 

[Cubby]

Here is another thought no one has mentioned. This adult teen mother most likely had prenatal care. She was under the care of an OBGYN. She likely had her child in a hospital and was observed by doctors, nurses, CNA's and various medical staff. She has likely had routine postpardom visits. She has a young infant 3 months of age. She has likely taken the child for routine well being visits which are frequent at this childs age.

If there were ANY indication this infant was being cared for by a mentally unstable parent these mandatory reporters would be obligated to notify CPS on the childs behalf. That has NOT HAPPENED. I am certain if these new grandparents had ANYTHING in addition to their 'only proof' -a video tape of two legal aged consenting adults involved in sexual activity-it would have been included in the article.

The parents would have said, she was under the care of a physician for mental illness. The media would have attempted to interview the adult teen mothers doctor and if HE/SHE or ANY of her doctors had any concerns we would be seeing more than just the new grandparents seeking monetary compensation for their 'emotional distress'.......based on immoral activity seen by God which is a sin in the eyes of the Lord but not a criminal matter in the eyes of the court.

One can sue anyone for anything. I don't believe the civil courts award punitive damages for emotional distress caused by the sins of others which are legal in the court of law, but sins in the eyes of the Lord.

jmvho