Yep, I could just see it now...
Patsy: Hello and welcome class, I am your teacher for this course..."Ransom Notes 101: How to Write a Fake One". My name is Patsy Ramsey, and I am a former Miss West Virginia, and I SHOULD have been MISS AMERICA ...I was the prettiest and most talented one there. (Starts to cry)....I SHOULD HAVE WON!! I SHOULD HAVE WON!! DAM- IT...I was the BEST!!! The girl that they chose wasn't nearly as pretty or as talented as I am... (sniff, sniff..and dries her tears), but at LEAST I was Miss West Virginia, alot of people can't say that. I mean, how many former Miss West Virginias do YOU know?? Raise your hand if you know another former Miss West Virgina (nobody raises hand). See...I am special. Well, enough about ME, now lets talk about ME.....as you know....I wrote the mother of all Ransom Notes, well, I prefer to call it a Ransom LETTER. And to be quite frank, I am quite proud of the fact...that it was a FAKE, but nobody knew it and it fooled everybody. (Starts to laugh). Well, not exactly EVERYBODY, there's some people that weren't fooled by it, but...thats okay...because, it fooled the people that it was meant for. And hey, I am not behind bars, and that is the main thing, right? Okay, well today I am going to teach you, MY students, how to write a fake ransom note, and you will learn how to do it from a PRO...me, Patsy Ramsey...a former Miss West Virginia. The first thing you need to do, is get out your writing pad, and your Sharpie pen....