SIDEBAR #57 - Travis Alexander forum

[coffeejunkie]

BTW: Have not heard from Nore last night or this morning...hope she is doing ok! Prayers for her...

Prayers/Good Thoughts/Jingles for all! :hug:

 

[Wagara]

Prayers for Nore and everyone else low on resources...be it health, money, or spirit.

Rayden and I danced last night for the first time or we moved in a slow circle and called it dancing! But we held hands and he didn't run away so I call that dancing!

Here he is looking at our tree. It is Cowboys themed. I prefer lights but Byran is a die-hard Dallas fan.

I have been busy crocheting hats for Christmas. I'll post some pics later. Have a great weekend!

 

[YESorNO]

Happy Birthday LinasK

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May you have the most glorious day ever! :confetti:

 

[atthelake]

Sad follow up to the cookie delivery. I just took cookies to my next door neighbor. He just that moment got off the phone with a family member in Bangladesh. His mother in law has just passed away. He doesn't know how to tell his wife.. She is at work right now.They will not keep the body long enough for her to travel to the funeral. I talked to him for about 10 minutes until his phone rang and we parted.

They were there for me when my fiance died... I just want to know how to help them as a neighbor.

:crying:

 

[Hatfield]

.......snipped for focus.........

I always feel better when I do things for others..

....snipped for focus.....

she will make a very compassionate nurse

....snipped for focus.....

I called Food Lion Corporate today to commend the employee to make sure she gets the praise and that her District Manager is aware. My mother will do something nice for her and include a note.

....snipped for focus.....

Sometimes just going out of our way a little bit will make an employee feel appreciated.

.......snipped for focus.........

Voila! Instead of being home by myself getting depressed I have turned it around and made cookies for all my neighbors.....

......I had fun tonight doing this for everyone.... hope everyone finds something to make them feel better this holiday season.

Putting out a scented candle... putting on old music.. doing something for a neighbor..

.......snipped for focus.........

FWIW, the very best medicine I know of for this season is to help someone else in whatever way that is possible to do.

Thanks everyone for the GREAT ADVICE. I couldn't get multi-quote to work so trying to cut+paste+snip some of the great points made. Sorry if I missed some.

We have such wonderful WISDOM here and this advice about helping others is SUPER ADVICE. It always makes us feel good to do something for others. Its a great way to cheer up ourselves as well as the recipient during the holidays.

Thanks everyone so much. Such amazing wisdom here.

 

[Hatfield]

Sad follow up to the cookie delivery. I just took cookies to my next door neighbor. He just that moment got off the phone with a family member in Bangladesh. His mother in law has just passed away. He doesn't know how to tell his wife.. She is at work right now.They will not keep the body long enough for her to travel to the funeral. I talked to him for about 10 minutes until his phone rang and we parted.

They were there for me when my fiance died... I just want to know how to help them as a neighbor.

So sorry to hear. The good thing is since you just talked to him then he knows you care. Perhaps a simple card to mention if they need any help with anything, they can feel free to contact you. You most likely already mentioned this to him but maybe a sympathy card to put it in writing may help. Sorry to hear about their sad news but glad you stopped by to visit and bring your cookies. That went a long ways already to help them know you are there for them if needed.

P.S. If you dont have a sympathy card handy, instead of going to the store, you can usually find a generic card if you have any like that. I sometimes use one of my generic cards I have in a box that just has nice flowers or something on the front with no writing. Then I write my message inside the card. It helps me to send one in a jiffy when I cant get to the store for a certain type of card.

 

[Hope4More]

Sad follow up to the cookie delivery. I just took cookies to my next door neighbor. He just that moment got off the phone with a family member in Bangladesh. His mother in law has just passed away. He doesn't know how to tell his wife.. She is at work right now.They will not keep the body long enough for her to travel to the funeral. I talked to him for about 10 minutes until his phone rang and we parted.

They were there for me when my fiance died... I just want to know how to help them as a neighbor.

:crying:

How awful. Ways to support? Practical offers of support- to make a meal so she doesn't have to this day she hears of her mother's death. A ride to the airport if they are flying there for after the funeral. Watching their house while they're gone, taking care of pets.

Offering to run errands or take care of must-do's for a bit. Most importantly- offering to be there for each and both of them when and if they need comforting.

 

[Spellbound]

Missing our sweet Nore.... I do hope she is doing better and will be back home (and feeling all right) real soon!

Wagara, your tree looks very pretty, and Rayden looks spellbound (giggles!) by it. What a lovely dance you must have had.

LinasK..... happy, HAPPY birthday to you!!!! Hard to make a birthday extra special around the holidays, but I do hope this one is as special as you are to us here at SB. :balloons::balloons:

ATL .... I am sorry to hear about your neighbor's mother (mother-in-law). You went at just the right time with the cookies ... they know you already care and it was the perfect time for you to be there. A card would be a nice added touch, and a hug for the wife when you see her next.

Hatfield .... are you the one who has those new-fangled Christmas laser lights for outside? I think our neighbor has just one --- it seems very muted, not at all bright. I actually was a little disappointed. I don't know if there are adjustments to them, but these are just blue and red as far as I can tell, and do not light up the entire house as much as I expected. I would like to see them add more. But they are very pretty, and you will probably enjoy them. Happy Holidays to you!!!

 

[atthelake]

So sorry to hear. The good thing is since you just talked to him then he knows you care. Perhaps a simple card to mention if they need any help with anything, they can feel free to contact you. You most likely already mentioned this to him but maybe a sympathy card to put it in writing may help. Sorry to hear about their sad news but glad you stopped by to visit and bring your cookies. That went a long ways already to help them know you are there for them if needed.

P.S. If you dont have a sympathy card handy, instead of going to the store, you can usually find a generic card if you have any like that. I sometimes use one of my generic cards I have in a box that just has nice flowers or something on the front with no writing. Then I write my message inside the card. It helps me to send one in a jiffy when I cant get to the store for a certain type of card.

I talked to one of my neighbors and she is Hindu and she did not know how to cook for a Muslim except making a rice dish which I knew would not be to their expectations.

So I did the southern thing.

I mowed their yard of alllllll the leaves and put pine straw all around there trees and natural areas. So when their guests come to visit for respects to their home.. that it would look nice .

Its a southern thing we always want our yard to look nice when people come to visit and I do yard work off and so I knew I could do that well.

As I was finishing up she came home and her son came home from college.

My heart goes out to her because I know I was downward spiral for 2 years when my mother died.

ETA .. And I would have never known to even be there for her unless I did the cookies. Telling you guys.. do something for other people and it will make you feel better although it will make you feel sad at the same time.

And you never know when karma will make you be there when someone else is in need.

ETA #2 I also cleaned my house and told them if they have people coming in from out of town like the brother who lives near but out of town that they can stay at my house ... I have a separate floor plan and they can have the other side of the house and two bedrooms for anyone out of town

 

[Spellbound]

ATL .... you deserve the biggest hug!! What you did can never be bought, but means so much more to most of us. Your life is rich in all the best ways. :hug:

 

[atthelake]

ATL .... you deserve the biggest hug!! What you did can never be bought, but means so much more to most of us. Your life is rich in all the best ways. :hug:

It does make me feel good helping others.. I'm telling you. But I did a faux pas. Asking Muslims to stay with a single woman in her house was not correct but I bet they understood even though they would never accept it silly me.

Again this was the family that was there first for me of all my neighbors when my fiance died helping me out. I feel so stupid now asking Muslims to stay in a house of a single woman that is so inappropriate I think. Grrrr but I didn't have the presence of mind to realize that before I offered.

 

[Niner]

Morning! :wave:

Niner..... I don't know what to tell you as to your husband's wishes to not tell his brother, or the niece and nephews. Does he get along with and speak to them? I can understand not wanting their attention put on him as a "terminally ill person" (if that is what this may be). But if they are somewhat close, they won't want to be hit with horrible news when they cannot see or speak to him while he is still able to. I hope others here have some advice to share that will help you decide what to do.
He really needs to understand that there is no shame in using a cane or walker while his balance is off kilter.... it is so much better than getting battle wounds that may be hard to heal while his immune system is working overtime. What if he falls and gets hurt and you can't help him get up? Oh men!! They turn our hair gray too early (gotta blame it on something).

No, his brother and him are not very close - as the years between them - 12 years - he was an unexpected baby for his mother! LOL! She stood on her head to conceive him! :lol: But he is close to his nephews and neice. I too believe he is "terminally ill"... And when I go to sleep at night - I think of WHAT am I going to do when he dies... too much to think about - and try to get those thoughts out of my head. He is glad that California passed the "Dignity in Dying" bill...
I too think they should know - as you said above - "they won't want to be hit with horrible news when they cannot see or speak to him while he is still able to". Yeah, he drives me crazy when he walks around with the cane instead of his walker... :gaah:

atthelake - I just watched the CNN - Christmas Thru the Decades - only the 60s and 70s part! Oh that brought back memories of Christmas past for me! :santahat:

Niner, why doesn't your DH want you to contact his brother? Is it because he doesn't want him to worry?

I really hope he feels better soon. He is prone to fractures, so he needs to be careful! Maybe the doctor will give you and he some good news on Monday. Jingles sent.

Well, first of all - he doesn't "like" his brother... calls him an a$$hole... LOL! Never got along! But like I said he does like his nephews and neice.
Thanks for the Jingles!! :luv:

Ready to eat ..who wants some cookies!!

YES!!!!! yummy....

Hey Niner,

I'm so sorry to hear that your husband isn't doing well. I have been hoping and praying that you'd soon be sharing good news about his condition. This makes me sad.

As to contacting his brother, niece and nephews, I would strongly urge you to abide by his wishes. You are his lifeline and he is relying on you to do as he asks. Your loyalty should be to him, not his relatives. When people are in compromised health situations, doing things that will upset them only makes matters worse. JMO

I am still holding out hope that his health will improve. I hope you and he are doing the same and haven't given up. He seems like a truly nice guy.

Now, here I was thinking after Spellbound's post that I would contact his brother, but than you said the above ^^ and you're quite right! My loyalty is to him, not his relatives! Thank you!
I too am holding out HOPE that his health will improve. I thought the cancer pills and the shot would help, but it doesn't seem to be making any improvements. And he IS a very nice guy! :loveyou:

With regard to his book and his explanations and justifications, it must have been hard to have Millions of people say negative things about him. IMO He complains about social media and the press, not because of their reporting on the trial, but because he was critiqued by watchers and his peers as well. It is that "He who protests too much" type thing if that makes sense.

Oh you hit it the nail head! That's what I'm getting out of just the first chapters of his book! :read:

Happy Birthday LinasK!!! :confetti:

What nice gesters you've done atthelake!! Don't worry about your "faux pas"!!

Okay - time to DO something on this Saturday! Was going to blow the leaves off everything, but another "gusty" storm coming thru tonight thru Monday morning, so I'll put that off until Monday! So... what now?

Later! :seeya:

 

[Susza]

[video=youtube;8XFBUM8dMqw]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XFBUM8dMqw[/video]

Something to make you smile!

I LOVE this one so much. While watching it I imagined all of us singing this in our SB-Tour-Bus at 3 pm just before arriving at this Café where they serve these huge pieces of Black Forest cake...

 

[GigiG]

I talked to one of my neighbors and she is Hindu and she did not know how to cook for a Muslim except making a rice dish which I knew would not be to their expectations.

So I did the southern thing.

I mowed their yard of alllllll the leaves and put pine straw all around there trees and natural areas. So when their guests come to visit for respects to their home.. that it would look nice .

Its a southern thing we always want our yard to look nice when people come to visit and I do yard work off and so I knew I could do that well.

As I was finishing up she came home and her son came home from college.

My heart goes out to her because I know I was downward spiral for 2 years when my mother died.

ETA .. And I would have never known to even be there for her unless I did the cookies. Telling you guys.. do something for other people and it will make you feel better although it will make you feel sad at the same time.

And you never know when karma will make you be there when someone else is in need.

ETA #2 I also cleaned my house and told them if they have people coming in from out of town like the brother who lives near but out of town that they can stay at my house ... I have a separate floor plan and they can have the other side of the house and two bedrooms for anyone out of town

How sweet of you to help in meaningful ways. It seems obvious that your being there at that precise moment was no coincidence; it was meant to be, giving you a unique opportunity to take your idea of doing something for others to a higher level. That's pretty cosmic...

 

[atthelake]

How sweet of you to help in meaningful ways. It seems obvious that your being there at that precise moment was no coincidence, it was meant to be, giving you a unique opportunity to take your idea of doing something for others to a higher level. That's pretty cosmic...

Yeah... I believe in karma.. higher power.. Or what anyone else wants to call it.

I'm surrounded by wonderful people with different religious beliefs.

 

[Susza]

Voila! Instead of being home by myself getting depressed I have turned it around and made cookies for all my neighbors... Also For Everybody here on the sidebar that needs a little sweetness and good smelling stuff and Christmas music and camaraderie.

Happy holidays to you all and I do understand how sometimes this time of the season gets depressing do something for others... I had fun tonight doing this for everyone.... hope everyone finds something to make them feel better this holiday season.

Putting out a scented candle... putting on old music.. doing something for a neighbor..

Xoxoxoxo sidebar !

You are so right, ATL! Thanks a lot for reminding me that it can often be so easy to avoid these dark moments. Quite often I find myself struggling too much with my own concerns. I hate it but may be this is a common trap for people living alone?? I love to socialize; sometimes I just bring a bowl of soup to my neighbours (when I cook, I often do quite big quantities); yesterday I took a piece of Stollen and knocked at the door of an elder italian lady living on the 2nd floor (her huz passed away on Christmas 2013) and we had a coffee together and a good chat. So easy!!!!

GigiG recently posted another key-idea, well, at least for me: keep your expectations low.
It makes life much easier. Find your happyness through simple things and try to be in the presence...
Hmm, these attitudes should be "automatic" (hope you know what I try to say; can't find the right word) but I still have a long road in front of me to get there.

 

[Niner]

Oh forgot - I was going to post a little bit about what I've read so far in Nurmi's book!

I couldn't find "where" he stated this but... he says a normal DP case has about 5 boxes worth, but Inmate #whatever :jail: had 30 boxes, plus videos and photos.

Here's a line from Chapter 8 - My Initial review of the evidence related to the crime (pg 47)
"As Detective Flores said in his interview with Ms. Arias, whoever did this to Mr. Alexander was extremely angry. In fact, based on my experience, the killing of Mr. Alexander contained a level of emotion that one does not often see even with the brutal world of homicides."

poor Travis...

Here's one for Hope4More - I don't believe the June texts, emails, etc. have been posted yet, right?? So, here in Chapter 8 again pg. 52:
"Additionally, there were no signs that anyone who was not welcome in the home was actually in the home. Meaning there were no signs of forced entry but also that there was no evidence that Mr. Arias was unwelcome in Mr. Alexander's home. In fact the evidence, specifically the text message found on Mr. Alexander's phone, collected from his physical phone, the day his body was found, demonstrated that Mr. Alexander wanted Mr. Arias in his home."

It will be interesting to "see" if there is actually a text message from Travis to Jodi inviting her that night... I don't believe it! If there IS, than Jodi "somehow" did it!! Hope you'll let us know Hope4More!!

I got thru Chapter 8 last night, but I didn't get to the book until late, as I had to read my National Enquirer first! :laughing:

I'm hoping Bernina will checking in with us soon! We DO get worried if someone doesn't return quickly!!

Nore - :hug: hope you're doing okay??!!! :luv:

:seeya:

 

[Susza]

[video=youtube;8NFzmJ66rV0]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NFzmJ66rV0[/video]

The cop that is driving has young daughters and hears these songs all the time lol.

Btw, what happens at around 1'46??? Does the guy on the passenger seat ... :blushing:

 

[Susza]

This is what Christmas is all about. What a lovely, lovely person you are ATL. We are so lucky to "know" you. Especially me of course as we are practically related!

Please marry my cousin!

Do you have another cousin for me???
:happydance::happydance::happydance:

 

[Susza]

I hope Bernina is OK.


[video=youtu;R8x9oNZ7CcI]http://youtu.be/R8x9oNZ7CcI[/video]

Right. Me too, I was thinking of her today while hiking. I want to be sure she's fine.
No news from her since a long time, hmmm...
:thinking: