I think any and every expression is useful if we are trying to gather information about a potential frame of mind. We surely don't know how fragile (or not) that is in this case.I’m not sure it’s particularly significant that Esther wrote about being her disappointment about turning back that particular day.
I’ve spent quite a lot of time reading back through their blog (the website, as well as FB & IG) and it seeming very much in keeping with other things she or they both have written in the past.
They both seem very introspective and seem to spend a lot of time analyzing “feelings”, emotions, how their minds “work”, and their relationship.
The one thing that gives me pause about the mention of turning back & the tiny part of her that had wanted to ‘push on’, is that could have affected a subsequent decision, on the 22nd - say - and perhaps she “pushed on” this time when perhaps she should have turned back...
*Speculation*, JMO, etc etc.
Esther had formerly been diagnosed with depression. That is probably not a mild case, in my opinion. If we consider that an activity makes someone the happiest they have ever been I think it's only prudent to wonder or speculate as to whether the prospect of returning to future lock downs or even being confined to an area, had the potential to swing the other way. It's perhaps not insignificant that she left France just as it went into second lockdown.
I wouldn't dismiss anything at this stage. I'm not alluding necessarily to a plan to stay on the road - I think frame and balance of mind could be an important consideration.
It is a fact that lockdowns have had a very detrimental affect on mental health.
MOO