I have been reading everyone's posts and opinions since this murder occurred in 2008 and have been fascinated with everyone's thoughts, opinions, and interactions. Some REALLY smart and VERY observant people here on Websleuths!!! Most everything I have read has been intelligent and respectful of each other's opinions (with the exception of a 'loose cannon' that was posting for a short time yesterday!!). I am usually not too vocal with my opinions, and could be content just reading, but this case 'moves' me to the point of feeling the urge to speak up!!
I live in Lochmere (different section than BC and NC), and I work in the mental health field and have experience counseling both individuals and couples. As such, I can't help but give my opinion of NC's 'behavior'!!
Frankly, I consider it pretty typical!! She was obviously an outgoing person who was young, and full of life and energy (i.e. a fighter). She gave up a lot to support her husband (her home, her career, her family, and her independence). I haven't heard anything that leads me to believe she was anything but a good wife prior to learning of his affair(s). Excessive spending by both parties does not constitute being a 'bad wife' and her affair has certainly not been proven. She was cheering him on (loudly) when he graduated and her family accepted him as their own! She seemed to have accepted the long hours he worked, went to school, trained, and even traveled without her.
And what did she get in return? Betrayal!! He had an affair with her friend. Not a one night stand, a full out affair. And, if I am not mistaken, there were other affairs as well. Obviously she was hurt and angry...who wouldn't be? And instead of admitting he was a big jerk and allowing her to divorce and move on with her life, what does BC do...traps her. No work VISA, no income, no passports. I'm sorry, folks, but I find it completely logical (and healthy) for someone who is essentially being held hostage to fight back in what ever ways they can. In this case her 'fighting back' was in the form of telling everyone what a creep he was (hit him in his ego!), spending whatever money she could (hit him in his wallet!), do everything possible to be obnoxious and nasty to her captor (don't cook or clean for him, etc.). He could force her to stay there, but he couldn't force her to be pleasant about it!! I can honestly say that if I were her age and in that same predicament, I probably would have had many of the same 'bad behaviors"!!
JMO