I asked RKAB:
Did he loose his apples over her talking back to him at the BBQ when he finally tried to socialize which he is not known to do?"
She answered:
I definately don't think he slept on it. IMO, he went home and grumbled and festered about it and was really really angry when she got home. It would probably start with him making snide comments that, if they were already in "hate" mode, she was probably defensive in her speech back to him (and I would be).
I don't think he meant to kill her initially but I think he got to a point where he had seriously injured her and that he thought if he DIDN'T kill her, he'd be in serious trouble when she was able to escape and tell someone. I don't think he would have laid in wait for her to come home, you know, with a shoelace in hand that he had decided earlier that he would strangle her with. I think he finally lost total control.
He would have been absolutely LIVID at being corrected in front of other people at the BBQ. They were probably already on edge if they had been fighting earlier in the day and anything at all that was coming out of her mouth, he was getting more and more agitated by it. He would be storing each and every word in the little backpack in his mind to bring out later to use against her. He wouldn't say anything at the time of the BBQ but later on, he would regurgitate all of it and start a fight. That was his way. Sulk and pout and then when a fight does start, typically with his little snarky comments, he rolls out everything that he's been holding in.