Supreme Court Rules against Death for Child Rape

[philamena]

Thank you both.

And Phil? I am now. It took me a long time how to figure out how to get that, but, thank God, I have it now.

Thank goodness you are now!
Love and admiration for you IrishMist.:blowkiss:

 

[southcitymom]

Speaking as someone that was raped at the age of five, I think they made the right decision. I believe a child rapist should serve LWOP. True LWOP. That is, the rest of their lives.

I've been raped, molested, and had my childhood stolen in a myriad of ways. But none of it is insurmountable. Being raped doesn't define me. My parents caused me to suffer, and stole more than my childhood... should they also be put to death??

LWOP protects society from these people, and that's what it's all about, IMO.

You sound so much like my BFF who had a similar path as a young girl and who feels the same way about rape and the DP. My love and respect to you always, Irish, for not allowing yourself to be definied by your most horrific experiences.:blowkiss:

 

[IrishMist]

You sound so much like my BFF who had a similar path as a young girl and who feels the same way about rape and the DP. My love and respect to you always, Irish, for not allowing yourself to be definied by your most horrific experiences.:blowkiss:

Thank you, SCM. My love and respect to you always, too, for who you are and the things you've overcome. :blowkiss:

 

[Grainne Dhu]

I'm glad this law was struck down.

I am against the death penalty in general, so that might bias me. I was raped by a school counsellor when I was 9 years old, so that might also bias me.

One thing the man who molested and raped me told me was that I was "forcing" him to do those things to me. It took many, many years for me to begin to believe that I was not the one responsible, that I was not guilty of doing anything but being a child.

From everything I've learned, this sort of thing is a common strategy amongst child molesters. No child wants to be raped but many children who are molested or raped by people they know (which includes well over 90% of victims) like or love their abuser. The burden of guilt that a child would feel if the abuser were put to death would be unbearable.

I know that I do not wish the man who raped me to be put to death; I've come to understand (after 40+ years) that he was a mentally disturbed individual. I've also lived to learn that being raped was not the worst thing that would happen to me in my life.

 

[believe09]

I'm glad this law was struck down.

I am against the death penalty in general, so that might bias me. I was raped by a school counsellor when I was 9 years old, so that might also bias me.

One thing the man who molested and raped me told me was that I was "forcing" him to do those things to me. It took many, many years for me to begin to believe that I was not the one responsible, that I was not guilty of doing anything but being a child.

From everything I've learned, this sort of thing is a common strategy amongst child molesters. No child wants to be raped but many children who are molested or raped by people they know (which includes well over 90% of victims) like or love their abuser. The burden of guilt that a child would feel if the abuser were put to death would be unbearable.

I know that I do not wish the man who raped me to be put to death; I've come to understand (after 40+ years) that he was a mentally disturbed individual. I've also lived to learn that being raped was not the worst thing that would happen to me in my life.

Congratulations on your survival and healing-and Welcome to WS!

 

[southcitymom]

I'm glad this law was struck down.

I am against the death penalty in general, so that might bias me. I was raped by a school counsellor when I was 9 years old, so that might also bias me.

One thing the man who molested and raped me told me was that I was "forcing" him to do those things to me. It took many, many years for me to begin to believe that I was not the one responsible, that I was not guilty of doing anything but being a child.

From everything I've learned, this sort of thing is a common strategy amongst child molesters. No child wants to be raped but many children who are molested or raped by people they know (which includes well over 90% of victims) like or love their abuser. The burden of guilt that a child would feel if the abuser were put to death would be unbearable.

I know that I do not wish the man who raped me to be put to death; I've come to understand (after 40+ years) that he was a mentally disturbed individual. I've also lived to learn that being raped was not the worst thing that would happen to me in my life.

I am so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

 

[Grainne Dhu]

Believe09 and southcitymom, thank you for the welcome and kind words.

One reason I hate the sort of doom-laden "child will never recover" talk is that when I was a teenager and trying to come to terms with what had happened to me, I did a lot of literature research (I had access to the libraries of a major research university). All I could find at that time (late 60s/early 70s) sounded to me like my life was over before it had really begun. The list of awful consequences went on and on. All for something I'd never asked for or chosen!

It would have meant so much to me if I'd found something, even one small paragraph, that suggested that perhaps I would be just fine. That I could go on and lead the sort of life I wanted to have, that I wasn't ruined forever.

Slowly things are changing. There have been a few studies in the last ten years that suggest that there are children who are molested or raped who recover and it does not affect them negatively for the rest of their lives. Children do get hurt in other ways and no one forecasts that they will suffer forever because of it. For instance, I broke my arm in a fall down a flight of stairs. It was scary and painful at the time but no one suggested or thought that it would affect me beyond the time when the cast came off.

 

[SewingDeb]

Grainne Dhu,

Welcome to the forum. I am saddened to hear that you were raped as a child. I hope that guy has not been free all these years to do it to another child.

 

[Grainne Dhu]

Grainne Dhu,

Welcome to the forum. I am saddened to hear that you were raped as a child. I hope that guy has not been free all these years to do it to another child.

Thank you for the welcome.

He was eventually caught but not due to anything I did. I didn't tell anyone for nearly twenty years. He told me that if I told anyone, my mother would die (my mother had cancer at the time).

Back in those days, people did not talk about sexual abuse the way they do now. Children weren't taught about sex until they were into their teens and no one talked about inappropriate touch or anything like that. So it was rather unusual that he was caught. He eventually molested a girl who promptly told her parents, who believed her. Which was also pretty unusual in those days--the prevailing belief was that children who reported sexual abuse either had overactive imaginations or were actually lying. Her parents were quite wealthy and they managed to force an arrest and trial.

Times have changed so much that I look back on my childhood and it's almost like something out of a novel. This was before Arpanet, before usenet, before the world wide web. Before calculators! I would have been amazed to hear about calculators given away as promotional items when I was 20 years old because they were $300 items then (and $300 was a lot more money back then, too--enough to rent a house). Children are taught a lot more about sex and sexual abuse now than they were in those days and I believe that is a good thing.

 

[believe09]

I deeply appreciate the stories of hope and healing I have read here; I have written before on the boards of someone I love who was also a victim of repeated child rape and who went on to put both of her rapists away for a long time before the statute of limitations ran out. She is absolutely one of the strongest women I know and a hero in my eyes for many reasons; mainly because she went on to have beautiful children and raise them successfully (so far! lol they are teens). She carries her wounds gracefully-she is successful in business and life as well. However, her distain for the men who harmed her when she was a child well into her teens knows no limits. Would they be candidates for DP? I don't know-one was LE. There are special circumstances in this country for people who inflict harm on law enforcement-shouldn't that be the case when the reverse is true? She went to this man to try and escape her abuser, and was then abused.

i believe that there is hope and healing after the rape-but the scars are always there. What is the equivalent justice and is there an equivalent justice? I think the DP cases are those that cause incredible physical harm and show a special deviance-such as infant rape. jMO.

 

[southcitymom]

Thank you for the welcome.

He was eventually caught but not due to anything I did. I didn't tell anyone for nearly twenty years. He told me that if I told anyone, my mother would die (my mother had cancer at the time).

Back in those days, people did not talk about sexual abuse the way they do now. Children weren't taught about sex until they were into their teens and no one talked about inappropriate touch or anything like that. So it was rather unusual that he was caught. He eventually molested a girl who promptly told her parents, who believed her. Which was also pretty unusual in those days--the prevailing belief was that children who reported sexual abuse either had overactive imaginations or were actually lying. Her parents were quite wealthy and they managed to force an arrest and trial.

Times have changed so much that I look back on my childhood and it's almost like something out of a novel. This was before Arpanet, before usenet, before the world wide web. Before calculators! I would have been amazed to hear about calculators given away as promotional items when I was 20 years old because they were $300 items then (and $300 was a lot more money back then, too--enough to rent a house). Children are taught a lot more about sex and sexual abuse now than they were in those days and I believe that is a good thing.

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your positive, truthful voice on this subject. I agree that we are much more open and candid about sexual abuse today - our awareness has grown and that is good for everyone.

A number of my best friends were victims of childhood sexual assault - to include my husband, my sister and my two closest female friends. While it didn't happen over night, all of them have survived and recovered and have actually made it through to the other side of sexual assault - the place where hope, love and joy reside.

As you touched on, all of us have childhood traumas to deal with, and they can be crippling. For some, they can become a death sentence. For others, they can become the spring board to a better life.

I do not want this post to read as dismissive to the brutality of childhood sexual assault. My experience is that it stays with a person forever and informs their experience of the world around them. Some innocuous situation might happen with our young sons, and I can literally feel and see the shift in my husband as he filters it through the memories of his own childhood sexual abuse.

However, we must continue to share the message that there is hope and healing from such darkness - even as we work to create a world where such darkness no longer exists.

 

[SewingDeb]

Grainne Dhu,

I can understand not telling anyone in those days. I'm 54 so we probably grew up in similar times.


I'm glad he didn't get away with it forever.

I agree with SouthCityMom that childhood sexual abuse does change people forever. It does not have to ruin them (how many very successful people are walking around with their own horrible memories?) but it does color their world. Hopefully it makes them more aware of their children's safety.