BY JOANNE RICHARD, TORONTO SUN
WE'RE CONSTANTLY fascinated by tales of moral bankruptcy. Recurrent reports of greed and deceit mesmerize us, and denials of wrongdoing echo over and over again in corporate America. Witness the lurid details of the Martha Stewart trial and Ken Lay's involvement in Enron.
Finger-pointing, bald-faced lies, intellectual depravity. And that's just for starters! "There's so much lying going on all around us -- we've lost our morals and values," says New York psychologist Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. "The lying that goes on in the business arena alone is representative of what is going on in society. "It started with the Clinton era, continued with the Bush election and so on."
Eaker Weil says that people have come to believe that lying, in order to attain financial reward and power, is acceptable: "It's an entitlement. We've become a society of narcissists. It's all about greed - people are overcompensating for the terror and uncertainty and are trying to get rid of an emptiness. Money is viewed as a comfort."
According to experts, lies surround us -- "but there are good lies and bad lies," stresses Eaker Weil. "White lies are fine because they prevent hurt because honesty can be cruelty. Lies are wrong when it's done for their own selfish gain and create pain and hurt -- like innocent people losing their pensions or infidelity."
And, say the experts, we all fib. Up to 500 white lies a day, says
Patti Wood. "We lie to have smooth social interaction, have people like us and to get away with things," says Wood, an Atlanta-based body language expert. Lying, in general, has become much more acceptable, says Wood. "It's scary how our culture is rationalizing and justifying serious lying. It breaks down the social structure and makes us feel that we can't trust anyone." Wood says research reveals "college age people are more likely to lie and justify it. Eighty percent feel justified to lie on a resume by padding it. In the '60s, only 10% felt that was an okay thing to do. There's been a big cultural change in what is viewed as acceptable."
Wood, who was asked by ABC and CBS news to analyze Gary Condit during the infamous Connie Chung interview, conducts seminars on
Body Honesty: How to Spot a Liar in order to recognize deception cues as well as establish credibility through body language. Losing credibility can be disastrous, she says. "In the most important interview of their careers, Gary Condit sucked in his lips and stuck out his tongue, Bill Clinton touched his nose about every four minutes and Enron's Ken Lay over-acted and was overconfident,' says Wood, adding that all these are nonverbal cues of deception and crushed their credibility.
"You can send and receive up to 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than one minute of interaction," she says. "... These cues give the most accurate indication of a person's truest emotions and can reveal most accurately when someone is lying." A liar leaks out cues from the eyes, head, voice and hands, she says, adding that 80% of lies go undetected. Many people think they're good at detecting lies, but they're not, and most of us actually incorrectly interpret nervousness cues as lying. Wood says true deception cues include a higher pitched voice, more pauses when speaking and 64% less body movement -- "as people try to control the lie from coming out." On the other hand, common honesty signs include synchronicity -- words, voice and body language are all in sync, says Wood.
Dr. Alan Hirsch has researched deception signs for the past 17 years and has come up with a list of 23 signs of lying in order to help the medical profession detect truthfulness. He says anyone can become "a human lie detector" by using his signs, including cuing into his "Pinocchio phenomenon" -- engorgement of the nasal erectile tissue which leads to a liar rubbing and scratching his nose.
Hirsch, a neurologist and psychiatrist from Chicago, became interested in lying while researching odour and sexual arousal at the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. He says that within the first three minutes of meeting someone, deceit can be determined -- unless they're a sociopath and there's no guilt present.
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NEUROLOGIST Dr. Alan Hirsch's research has turned up 23 signs of lying. But, he cautions, stress alone may generate lying signs and make someone appear guilty. So be sure to compare a high stress time to one when lying is suspected.
WATCH FOR THESE VERBAL CUES:
- QUALIFIERS: Liars tend to use words such as "not necessarily," "but," "however," "generally," and "basically."
- EXPANDED CONTRACTIONS: Liars tend to emphasize the "not," for example, that they were "not" involved -- as in could not, would not, etc.
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DENIALS OF LYING: "The liar denies lying and emphasizes the truthfulness of his answers," says Hirsch; e.g. "to tell you the truth," "believe me," and "honestly." (FROM AMES: PATSY DID THIS ALOT...INCLUDING..."I SWEAR TO GOD")
- SPEECH ERRORS: Watch for grammatical errors and changes of thought in midsentence.
- PAUSE FILLERS: Listen for lots of "uhs," "ers," "ums," and "ahs." (FROM AMES: I HAVE A LINK ON FFJ DEVOTED TO THIS REGARDING THE RAMS, ON FFJ)
- STUTTERING: "The liar becomes tongue-tied, stammers and stutters," says Hirsch.
- THROAT CLEARING: Liars tend to throat clear, moan, groan and grunt.
WATCH FOR THESE NON-VERBAL SIGNS:
- LESS FINGER POINTING: There's a lack of pointing or of raising a single finger to illustrate a point.
- LIAR'S LEAN: "The liar tends to lean forward, resting elbows on knees or a table, constantly changing posture or position in a chair."
- LIP LICKING: Increased frequency. (FROM AMES: AND JOHN DID THIS ALOT!!!!)
- LIP PUCKERING: "Tightening the mouth as though to let nothing get out," says Hirsch.
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www.pattiwood.net As quoted in The Toronto Sun 2004
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DRINKING: Increase in drinking and swallowing. (FROM AMES...I IMAGINE THIS WOULD BE FROM THE DRY MOUTH)
- SMILING: Watch for more smiles and inappropriate laughter. (FROM AMES: AND GOODNESS KNOWS, JOHN DID THIS ALOT TOO!)
- HAND GESTURES: Liars use fewer hand gestures.
- GROOMING: Increased touching of the face, ears and hair.
- SIGHS: Increased sighs or deep breaths.
- HAND AND SHOULDER SHRUGS: Flipping the hands with the palms up and shrugging the shoulders.
- HANDLING OBJECTS: Toying with objects such as eyeglasses, pen, paper, etc.
- AVERTING GAZE: "Looking away, to the side or down after having made eye contact."
- BLINKING: Liars tend to blink less often.
- CROSSING ARMS: Folding the arms across the chest as if to create a barrier.
- CLOSING HANDS: Holding either hand in a fist or interlocking fingers together of both hands.
- TOUCHING NOSE: Scratching, touching or rubbing the nose.
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