The "Affair"

[NCBanker]

You guys did incredible work to identify the "other woman" before it was eventually published. I'm impressed! :clap:

And to think you even found a photo of her? Double kudos!! :clap: :clap:

 

[NCBanker]

Of all the possible Google searches in recent weeks, our "other woman" was ranked number 28, way ahead of Barack Obama, and several other noted folks... This is big time news.

http://www.rushprnews.com/2008/07/24/google-hot-trends-july-24/

 

[LillyRush]

I dont' like that saying he is socially inept/awkward makes him a bad husband...seriously, with the amount of knowledge her friends had on their marriage...if I were him I wouldn't want to show my face and hang out with them either. My mother always told me "it takes two".

Need to end this post, and possibly, get back to my day at hand.

I agree that the claims of social awkwardness were a bit over the top. As someone who is not fond of big/cliquey group type situations, those types of statements always make me cringe. So, anyway...Brad was an introvert..Nancy was an extrovert...it happens.

This brings me back to the thing with one friend saying Nancy was uncomfortable with certain people because they were supposedly too chummy with Brad and then other people feeling Brad was the one uncomfortable around them because they had been informed of his affair. There was too much personal information floating through this neighborhood and group of friends.

 

[LillyRush]

Of all the possible Google searches in recent weeks, our "other woman" was ranked number 28, way ahead of Barack Obama, and several other noted folks... This is big time news.

http://www.rushprnews.com/2008/07/24/google-hot-trends-july-24/

That's funny. Hey, maybe she can write a book now and be assured that her name is already out there.:crazy: I also like how "corey feldman's wife" is # 18 on the google search list. lol:waitasec:

 

[LillyRush]

About Heather's ex-husband Scott supporting and still being friendly with Brad, it turns out my theory that involved them reuniting as friends over mutual angst wasn't too far from the truth. In Scott's affidavit, he mentions that he didn't find out about the affair until it was already over with Brad and Heather had moved on to another guy who she is currently dating. So, it looks like they did indeed re-bond (as I'm calling it) over shared experiences of beint burnt by Heather.

 

[SusieClue]

I hope the facts of this case help the next wife and mother who is being controlled and verbally abused by her husband to take heed and plot her escape from the abuser well and long before she too ends up like Nancy did.

Such a control freak should never learn in advance that his wife is 'unhappy' and wants a divorce. She should do the best acting of her life and pretend all is well for as long as she needs to. But she should be socking away money and get herself a good and private plan to escape to save herself and her children.

NEVER EVER give a control freak abuser spouse information about what you want, ESPECIALLY if it's about gaining your independence. Never give your abuser the opportunity to 'snap' and do the ultimate control maneuver: murder.

Plot your escape carefully. Take your time. Make sure you have money in cash and hidden. Make sure you contact your local women's shelter and document what is happening with you. But SECRETLY! Do not leave evidence around where your control freak abuser might discover it.

Do whatever you have to do but PLOT YOUR ESCAPE, GET OUT, GET YOUR KIDS OUT, and SURVIVE!

AGREED. Unfortunately, I think it is plainly obvious that Nancy had a hard time hiding her emotions and thoughts. She told so many friends about her troubles. There is no crime in that, just an honest soul. But, it makes sense that it was hard for her to hide feelings from her husband as well, which makes me believe, all the more, that she was upfront with him about her plans and he snapped. Either snapped a few months ago and made a plan or snapped on the spot on Friday night. Either way, it didn't end well for sweet Nancy.

 

[SusieClue]

About Heather's ex-husband Scott supporting and still being friendly with Brad, it turns out my theory that involved them reuniting as friends over mutual angst wasn't too far from the truth. In Scott's affidavit, he mentions that he didn't find out about the affair until it was already over with Brad and Heather had moved on to another guy who she is currently dating. So, it looks like they did indeed re-bond (as I'm calling it) over shared experiences of beint burnt by Heather.

AND the fact that she is currently the DEFENDANT in an Alienation of Affection lawsuit - which means she was YET AGAIN "enjoying the company" of another woman's husband. Telling isn't it? She is just a grade A peach, no?

 

[Bob&Bob]

I think someone needs to define the word "Affair"

 

[SusieClue]

I think someone needs to define the word "Affair"

I guess I'll bite. What do you mean?

 

[boxy]

Of all the possible Google searches in recent weeks, our "other woman" was ranked number 28, way ahead of Barack Obama, and several other noted folks... This is big time news.

http://www.rushprnews.com/2008/07/24/google-hot-trends-july-24/

She's ahead of "John Edwards mistress" even, way down in the 90's.

 

[boxy]

I guess I'll bite. What do you mean?

I'll guess that B&B meant is whether a one time sexual liaison qualifies as an affair. Or perhaps whether a non-sexual whatever that he claims Nancy had is an affair.

 

[Bob&Bob]

I'll guess that B&B meant is whether a one time sexual liaison qualifies as an affair. Or perhaps whether a non-sexual whatever that he claims Nancy had is an affair.

That's sort of what I meant.

 

[EntreNous]

In my opinion a one time sexual union does not constitute an affair but it does constitute adultry. Whereas a long term relationship of a deeply intimate nature but is never consumated is an emotional affair, but not adultry.

Again, my opinion, I believe adultry to be more damning, technically.

 

[SusieClue]

I have a real headache from this thread.

It's real simple. Love your wife, honor her - do not talk about her to other women or try to establish a relationship with someone else while you are already married. If you honor her in your relationship - most likely she will repay you with RESPECT and your love will just bloom. She will RESPECT you and as a result, you will LOVE her. Cheating in either direction just fosters mistrust and resentment for a lifetime.

 

[Tink56]

I have a real headache from this thread.

It's real simple. Love your wife, honor her - do not talk about her to other women or try to establish a relationship with someone else while you are already married. If you honor her in your relationship - most likely she will repay you with RESPECT and your love will just bloom. She will RESPECT you and as a result, you will LOVE her. Cheating in either direction just fosters mistrust and resentment for a lifetime.

I agree with this, but feel it must go both ways. AND, once adultery has been committed and the trust lost, the vows are broken for most people. However, if Nancy and Brad had not been intimate for 2+ years, the marriage had been "broken" for a long time.

I sincerely hope that Nancy wasn't sharing the intimate details of her married life for the past 3-4 years. If so, besides lacking maturity, she was breaching the confidence of the relationship.

I'm sure her venting to her friends was a "safety" valve of sorts, but what if they had reconciled? Whew! None of her friends would have ever accepted Brad.

She should have been talking with a marriage counselor, therapist, or other professional, rather than airing all this in the neighborhood, IMO. Although if Brad is responsible for her death, her indiscretion may result in some justice.

However, the problem might not have escalated to this point if she had filed the separation papers and demanded that Brad leave the residence. Or, if she was truly fearful, she could have taken the girls and gone to a shelter, friend's home, etc.

Hindsight is marvelous, isn't it??

 

[RoughlyCollie]

I was shocked by the amount of private information NC allegedly shared with so many of her friends. I figured maybe I am just a heck of a lot more reticent than she is.

If NC felt she was in danger, she had options -- for one thing, she had a close family and friends who seemed to be willing to help her out.

I don't think anyone thought NC was in danger until she disappeared.

As far as Brad is concerned, I don't have enough information (and I've read it all) to get off the fence about whether he killed his wife. If he did, I hope he fries for it. If he didn't, I hope he is actually cleared.

Respectfully,
RC

I'm sure her venting to her friends was a "safety" valve of sorts, but what if they had reconciled? Whew! None of her friends would have ever accepted Brad.

She should have been talking with a marriage counselor, therapist, or other professional, rather than airing all this in the neighborhood, IMO. Although if Brad is responsible for her death, her indiscretion may result in some justice.

However, the problem might not have escalated to this point if she had filed the separation papers and demanded that Brad leave the residence. Or, if she was truly fearful, she could have taken the girls and gone to a shelter, friend's home, etc.

Hindsight is marvelous, isn't it??

 

[momto3kids]

I agree with this, but feel it must go both ways. AND, once adultery has been committed and the trust lost, the vows are broken for most people. However, if Nancy and Brad had not been intimate for 2+ years, the marriage had been "broken" for a long time.

I sincerely hope that Nancy wasn't sharing the intimate details of her married life for the past 3-4 years. If so, besides lacking maturity, she was breaching the confidence of the relationship.

I'm sure her venting to her friends was a "safety" valve of sorts, but what if they had reconciled? Whew! None of her friends would have ever accepted Brad.

She should have been talking with a marriage counselor, therapist, or other professional, rather than airing all this in the neighborhood, IMO. Although if Brad is responsible for her death, her indiscretion may result in some justice.

Hindsight is marvelous, isn't it??

This is exactly what someone else pointed out to me, just what you said. This is not what I have said, but what some others are thinking.

A person I spoke to mentioned how NC didn't know the name of who the 'non-sexual' extra maritial relationship was with? They don't believe it for a moment. If she was giving all the fine details of her marriage to anyone that would listen she knew this persons name and so did her friends. It appears NC did it 1st since it was 4 yrs ago and supposedly BC was after Bella was born. They also feel since her friends have all given different amounts she was allowed to spend per week that NC told what fit the mold best or the friends are telling a lie.
Some are thinking there might be someone else she was confiding in besides her gf's and their husbands. Another man.

Remember this is not what I have said but what some are now wondering about.

 

[raisincharlie]

I agree with this, but feel it must go both ways. AND, once adultery has been committed and the trust lost, the vows are broken for most people. However, if Nancy and Brad had not been intimate for 2+ years, the marriage had been "broken" for a long time.

I sincerely hope that Nancy wasn't sharing the intimate details of her married life for the past 3-4 years. If so, besides lacking maturity, she was breaching the confidence of the relationship.

I'm sure her venting to her friends was a "safety" valve of sorts, but what if they had reconciled? Whew! None of her friends would have ever accepted Brad.

She should have been talking with a marriage counselor, therapist, or other professional, rather than airing all this in the neighborhood, IMO. Although if Brad is responsible for her death, her indiscretion may result in some justice.

However, the problem might not have escalated to this point if she had filed the separation papers and demanded that Brad leave the residence. Or, if she was truly fearful, she could have taken the girls and gone to a shelter, friend's home, etc.

Hindsight is marvelous, isn't it??

Not to say the friends did or did not know - the only one who mentioned it and the only reason we heard it was because Brad put it in an affidavit.

ETA - this is one of those statements that if Nancy had never told friends it would be impossible to refute. If this is news to her friends then chances are it was said to point away from Brad and to imply perhaps there was someone else in Nancy's life who could have been responsible for her murder. If it is not news to her friends, they certainly managed to keep it out of those affidavits - seems to me it would have verified the dysfunction existing and given the reasons for the affidavits, well might have been useful. JMO

 

[raisincharlie]

This is exactly what someone else pointed out to me, just what you said. This is not what I have said, but what some others are thinking.

A person I spoke to mentioned how NC didn't know the name of who the 'non-sexual' extra maritial relationship was with? They don't believe it for a moment. If she was giving all the fine details of her marriage to anyone that would listen she knew this persons name and so did her friends. It appears NC did it 1st since it was 4 yrs ago and supposedly BC was after Bella was born. They also feel since her friends have all given different amounts she was allowed to spend per week that NC told what fit the mold best or the friends are telling a lie.
Some are thinking there might be someone else she was confiding in besides her gf's and their husbands. Another man.

Remember this is not what I have said but what some are now wondering about.

I'm thinking that Brad put that out there to deflect. Connvenient that he says no one knew his name - there are numerous affidavits, some with a lot of information which he probably didn't think someone knew either. It happened only once according to Brad, it wasn't sexual - wth ? For some reason I get the feeling this was one of those in your face comments. I could well be wrong but that is what I think of this comment. And from the "talk" it seems Brad achieved exactly what he wanted - people thinking there is someone else and therefore someone else who could have reason to murder Nancy.

 

[SusieClue]

I'm thinking that Brad put that out there to deflect. Connvenient that he says no one knew his name - there are numerous affidavits, some with a lot of information which he probably didn't think someone knew either. It happened only once according to Brad, it wasn't sexual - wth ? For some reason I get the feeling this was one of those in your face comments. I could well be wrong but that is what I think of this comment. And from the "talk" it seems Brad achieved exactly what he wanted - people thinking there is someone else and therefore someone else who could have reason to murder Nancy.

I totally agree. I asked before, what is a "non sexual" extramarital relationship? I think you call that a friend. It happened one time. Maybe she had lunch with her friend once? In reality, this was probably just a red herring thrown out at the behest of BC's lawyer. Irrefutable due to the "no one knew his name". Ridiculous.

I have 3 children of my own and the idea that Nancy - who by all accounts had the children 99% of the time - was carrying on an affair in the midst of all of that is very hard to imagine.