The truth about Oprah Winfrey & Gayle King ... according to them

[txsvicki]

Sorry guys, but it's not just the high profile professions. You would be absolutely AMAZED at the amount of gays married to straights. There is a whole sub-culture out there, and it includes people that you wouldn't imagine.

I've posted on here more than once that my last husband turned out to be gay. I turned to an online board called Str8's for strength and support, and there were over 318,000 members at the time. (approx. 10 years ago) Keep in mind that that was just spouses who knew, needed help and support, and found their way to the same board...

The men that he met with were married. Not one of their wives knew.

I was friends with a woman not too many years ago who caught her ex husband in bed with a man. She had no idea that he was gay and his excuse was that he thought he "could change". There was no reason for him to be so secretive and experimental with her.

 

[IrishMist]

I was friends with a woman not too many years ago who caught her ex husband in bed with a man. She had no idea that he was gay and his excuse was that he thought he "could change". There was no reason for him to be so secretive and experimental with her.

The reason, IMO, is that society is not accepting of gays. If people were free to be who they are, this kind of thing would not happen. Why would it? There would be no reason to hide it.

That's a very common thing. These people are ashamed of their sexuality, and try to hide it, change it, do what society expects them to do... but you can not deny your sexuality.

So you have one spouse who can never truly engage in the marriage, and another who can sense that their spouse is not truly engaged, but can't quite figure out what the problem is.

So as long as gays are considered second class citizens, unworthy of rights and privileges based solely on their sexuality, this will continue.

And for the life of me, I honestly do not understand why. Why can't they marry? Why can't they be accepted for who they are? It reminds me so much of the civil rights issues of the sixties. To me, it is no different.

 

[Jeana (DP)]

The reason, IMO, is that society is not accepting of gays. If people were free to be who they are, this kind of thing would not happen. Why would it? There would be no reason to hide it.

That's a very common thing. These people are ashamed of their sexuality, and try to hide it, change it, do what society expects them to do... but you can not deny your sexuality.

So you have one spouse who can never truly engage in the marriage, and another who can sense that their spouse is not truly engaged, but can't quite figure out what the problem is.

So as long as gays are considered second class citizens, unworthy of rights and privileges based solely on their sexuality, this will continue.

And for the life of me, I honestly do not understand why. Why can't they marry? Why can't they be accepted for who they are? It reminds me so much of the civil rights issues of the sixties. To me, it is no different.

I agree. However, they're not forced to get married. That's what I have a problem with.

 

[Nova]

I agree. However, they're not forced to get married. That's what I have a problem with.

Ditto. Although I realize there's a lot of pressure to be "normal," even today, it seems there is plenty of info out there as to other options.

As for the Brokeback guys, however, I don't believe they conceived as themselves as "gay." In their view, there was no reason not to get married. (They were wrong, obviously.)

 

[IrishMist]

I agree. However, they're not forced to get married. That's what I have a problem with.

No, they're not forced into it, per se. Some, like my ex, marry purposely to hide behind a veil of heterosexuality. He counted on the people that say "he can't be gay- he's married!"

Many (if not most) others do it for what I would call denial. Denial is a very strong defense mechanism. They don't want to be gay. Can't or won't admit to themselves or others that they are gay. They think that if they get married, and live the life that they "should" live, they will change, and those feelings will go away.

Most don't set out to hurt the straight spouse.

I guess that's what my thinking goes to... if being gay was considered just as normal as not being gay, what would there be to hate or hide?

 

[Marthatex]

I agree. However, they're not forced to get married. That's what I have a problem with.

The time of BB mountain was 1963. Yes, they got married because they "wanted" to fit into society's expectations, and very few gays were out of the closet.

I've known alot of heterosexual cowboys who were awful to their wives. They can be pretty "macho"; and think they can treat them any old way. Again, in the '60s women were treated differently than they are now in general. Women were only beginning to have more opportunities, also.