TH's emails shed light on Horman split

[gardeness]

Terri received a $1000 in child support for "one" child (J****)? Do you have a link to support that?

I didn't say that...

 

[ladonna]

Terri received a $1000 in child support for "one" child (J****)? Do you have a link to support that?

Ecker continues to pay Terri child support for J in excess of $500 monthly

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/06/kyron_hormans_blended_family_f.html

 

[miabellamoure]

I didn't say that...

Sorry...I thought you had seen that that was what she was getting in child support for one child which would be on the high side...very high side...of course dependent upon the fathers income.

I think the norm is probably around $500 & below...

 

[stmarysmead]

Is there a question whether these emails are actually Terri's? Intense hatred for a little innocent child, that is MISSING, and there is still doubt if shes guilty? Intense hatred for a little adorable boy is probably one of the most evil things I have ever read. I cant just chalk this up to, oh well hope I dont get in trouble and send an email when mad, I mean wow, this is not a normal thought process, I mean jealousy of a child? And the child is missing? And shes flunking lie detectors, and withdraws visitation requests for her daughter... This gets more sinister every day, thats for sure.

And sending emails like that adds to the pattern of recklessness. Just as she was sexting when she knew LE was watching her...and lying to her lawyers when she had just hired them.

This is a type of recklessness that indicates Terri believes she will never be caught, is invincible...or can lie her way out of anything.

Or some combination of both.

 

[SurfieTX]

About custody: http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/08/terri_horman.html

"In mid-December 2002, Terri and J**** moved into his house in Aloha, Kaine said.

~~snip

Court records show that Desiree had primary custody of Kyron after her divorce with Kaine in early 2003. Both Kaine and Desiree said they worked out a joint arrangement: Kyron stayed with Desiree at night, was in day care and then spent two hours every afternoon at the Aloha house where Terri, Kaine and J**** were living.

In 2004, when Desiree moved to Canada to seek medical treatment, Kaine gained custody of his son. He said he was primary caretaker, dropping Kyron off at day care and picking him up."

"In January 2002, Horman and Ecker were divorced. She got primary custody of J and the decree included an informal agreement that Ecker would pay about $169 a month in child support.

A year later, Horman went to Washington County authorities, asking for more child support. His payments were bumped up to nearly $550 a month. Ecker went to Horman's house to ask for a break on child support, saying the payments were cutting a big chunk out of his salary. She seemed amenable to a reduction, he said, but the next day he got a call from the Washington County Sheriff's Office, telling him to stop harassing his ex-wife."

Three things:
1. She moved in with Kaine in December of 2002.
2. She received a significant increase in child support to 550.00 a month in January 2003.
3. Terri called the police a lot, it seems.

 

[gardeness]

Sorry...I thought you had seen that that was what she was getting in child support for one child which would be on the high side...very high side...of course dependent upon the fathers income.

I think the norm is probably around $500 & below...

In her 4/6/10 email, she says the $1000 was child support and unemployment--
http://www.katu.com/news/local/108352154.html?

 

[forthelost]

The same way one becomes an expert in "ADD, ADHD, ODD, OSC, YSC, Prader Willy, Down Syndrome and Medically Fragile."

http://www.linkedin.com/in/terrihorman

Anyone who knows anything about the condition knows it's spelled "Prader-Willi." :innocent:

 

[tiredblondy]

I'm confused about a statement DY made on Good Morning America...

she says, "on a couple of different occasions Terri had called me specifically so that I could talk to Kyron because he was so upset, and Terri personally wanted me to take Kyron"

I don't understand why TH would call DY to talk to Kyron and comfort him if TH was responsible for upsetting him. Does that make any sense?

Would you call your step-son's mother so she could talk to him if you were abusing him (emotionally, verbally)?

Imagine what a position that put Kyron in!!! Bless his little heart! I hope this release of the emails indicates somethings happening behind the scene. I sometimes wonder if they did this to help DY accept the fact that he is gone.Would they have done this to pit Kaine against Desiree? What would be the purpose of that?

 

[QueenD]

I suspect you're right about LE trying to get KH and DY prepared for a "no body" homicide case.

A parent like Desiree, who is expresses herself eloquently, gives off a sense of emotional honesty, etc, could torpedo a "no body" case if she got on the stand and testified that she believes Kyron is still alive.

Something somewhat similar happened in the Johnny Gosch case. His mother got on the stand in the trial of a man who was believed to be part of a pedophile ring and testified, very sincerely, that she believed her son is still alive because he visited her in the middle of the night (when he would have been 28 years old). That testimony brought down the prosecution case.

I have no doubt Johnny's mother believes it. But I'm certainly not alone in thinking that she is nearly alone in her beliefs, which strain credulity to the utmost.

For DY's sake, I wish KH had done her the courtesy of providing her with copies of his court filings before they hit the media. When she said she had found out all this via the media, my heart clenched for her. I can only imagine the pain she goes through every evening as she wonders what she'll find out via the evening news (or worse, from a reporter asking her "and what is your reaction to X, Y and Z?" when she had never heard X, Y or Z previously).

bolded in red and underline by me
Reminds me of another mother of a killer from Orlando "CA" did sorta the same.:furious: And I believed she did it for the same reason.
I am lost here, haven't been following very closely lately. I am reading back to see where I stopped following. Is there a link to these emails or have they not all been disclosed to the public?
TIA

 

[pufnstuf]

"In January 2002, Horman and Ecker were divorced. She got primary custody of James and the decree included an informal agreement that Ecker would pay about $169 a month in child support.

A year later, Horman went to Washington County authorities, asking for more child support. His payments were bumped up to nearly $550 a month. Ecker went to Horman's house to ask for a break on child support, saying the payments were cutting a big chunk out of his salary. She seemed amenable to a reduction, he said, but the next day he got a call from the Washington County Sheriff's Office, telling him to stop harassing his ex-wife."

Three things:
1. She moved in with Kaine in December of 2002.
2. She received a significant increase in child support to 550.00 a month in January 2003.
3. Terri called the police a lot, it seems.

A window into her psyche, isn't it?

In a nutshell, she had a son with R. Tarver, then divorced Tarver. She married R. Ecker, had Ecker adopt her son, and then divorced Ecker. She moved in with Kaine, had Ecker's child support tripled, and then, when J reached adolescence, she sent him to live with his grandparents and then his bio father while she continued to collect child support from his adoptive father.

I really don't believe that Terri gave J's child support check to Kaine. No evidence of such, just a gut feeling based on what we've come to know about her.

 

[tiredblondy]

In her 4/6/10 email, she says the $1000 was child support and unemployment--
http://www.katu.com/news/local/108352154.html?

I don't believe everything Terri says in these emails.I don't even know if I believe half of what she says. I do believe she wanted Kyron to live with Desiree but what she told Kaine about it all, who knows. I suspect she wanted Kaine to choose her over Kyron.

As for the police releasing these emails at this time it sure looks like it's contributing to a motive.

 

[GingerRed]

This is all IMO regarding the OP.

I don't believe that Terri's "perception" is much of a reality. Having a diagnosed NPD for an ex husband, I see the so many similarities. My ex husband hasn't seen his daughter in two years, but tells people he has. He started an endless legal assault on us starting when my now 13 yo was five because I said "no" to him about something trivial--he tells everyone I started and continue to initiate all the legal fights. He complains endlessly of how poor he is because he must be forced to pay child support, while he and his wife make a whopping 175K more than my family each year (and we aren't even close to six figures!). I controlled him during the marriage he says, but he was the one carrying on numerous affairs instead of going to the poker games, sporting events and basic hang out events he claimed he wanted to go to...all with my support and a hug on the way out the door. He was afraid of me being violent--a person who is quiet and withdrawn when upset, but he punched holes in walls and turned red with rage.

I do believe that Terri didn't feel she had any freedom. Do I believe it was Kaine doing the controlling? No. I'm not just projecting my past onto this. Her history as reported--given that information--I'm just not buying it.

 

[QueenD]

No, these emails have not been released. They were discussed by Kyron's biological mother Desiree on the Today Show. If you scroll back a few pages you can find the link to her interview.

Find my answer on the emails, thanks ThoughtFox.

 

[Aedrys]

I am the same way, I think I may expect too much from a man, but I am the same.

My mom was stay at home, and I always wished I could be. Yes, my mom felt trapped sometimes, maybe she wanted to get out more, get a job at times of boredom, and yes, she said these same types of things. She was just venting during times of frustration, and meant no harm to anyone.

That was also a different time period, way different economy, and at that time, the man was expected to bring home the bacon while the wife raised the kids.

Not in today's economy. I watch my friends struggle. For instance, one friend is a dad having two jobs and a bad knee from when he was in the military but he works those two jobs all so that his wife can stay home and take care of their four kids (two teenagers and two little kids). They are not rich and struggle everyday with every penny. I have another friend who works way too many hours a week away from his family while his wife stays home and raises their two boys. They are pinching pennies too, and she's a diabetic that doesn't take care of herself half the time, and sometimes she overspends their money. Both women are stay at home moms and my friends too, but I would not want to be in their situation. Unless you're very wealthy and can really afford it, SAHM is not the ideal situation it used to be.

For Terri to be so lucky, have the ideal situation, and sit there and whine because she has to contribute to the household is just self centered and lazy on her part. So now she gets yet another pass because it's normal to complain? Normal women who complain don't plot to kill their husbands, make their older child leave the home, and then kill their stepchild when they can't take it anymore. There is nothing normal or pleasant about Terri complaining about being an overly spoiled SAHM. It's a slap to the face of every SAHM out there struggling to raise kids, hoping their husband can make enough to make ends meet, and hoping they get to eat and keep their home next month (or sometimes next week).

 

[Chablis]

"In January 2002, Horman and Ecker were divorced. She got primary custody of J and the decree included an informal agreement that Ecker would pay about $169 a month in child support.

A year later, Horman went to Washington County authorities, asking for more child support. His payments were bumped up to nearly $550 a month. Ecker went to Horman's house to ask for a break on child support, saying the payments were cutting a big chunk out of his salary. She seemed amenable to a reduction, he said, but the next day he got a call from the Washington County Sheriff's Office, telling him to stop harassing his ex-wife."

Three things:
1. She moved in with Kaine in December of 2002.
2. She received a significant increase in child support to 550.00 a month in January 2003.
3. Terri called the police a lot, it seems.

And the kicker to boot, is she could not be gracious to a man who was not the biological father when it came to reduction of the support, all while the bio dad of the child is not really out of the picture. Who wants to cross this chick?

 

[SurfieTX]

"Three months later, the couple got married in their bathing suits in a small ceremony presided over by Kaine's dad on a beach in Kauai, Hawaii.

~~~ snip

About the same time, Terri was working as an assistant manager at Newport Bay restaurant in Washington Square. Don Alanen, a former customer, had many conversations with her when eating there with his wife. He was impressed by her professionalism.

Terri talked to the couple about wanting to become a manager in the high-tech industry where Alanen worked. She also said she had been a bodybuilder and planned to return to intensive workouts at some point.

And she talked about Kyron.

"I can't recall that she called him a stepson," Alanen said. "I'm pretty sure she said our son."

Alanen said that when Terri became pregnant, she told him she was thrilled to be having another baby."

A few more things:
1. Terri was working as a manager here in 2007: http://newportbay.com/page/location (? location - there are a few).
2. She let her teaching cert. expire in 2007.
3. She was interested in becoming a manager (? like Kaine ?) in a high-tech industry.
4. She was friendly with one customer and his wife who remembered her announcing her pregnancy, so she would still presumably be working there in 2008.
5. Looks like K was a Valentine's Day baby.
6. Terri's first marriage lasted 4 years. The second one lasted 6 years. Kaine and Terri were together for 8 years.

Terri had goals and an occupation up until the beginning of 2008, it seems. That's when her unemployment kicked in, the economy started to tank, and she spent most of the year pregnant, and was a full-time, stay-at-home mom with the kids. After that, it seems she was more of a homebody for whatever reason - and that seems really out of character to me.

 

[desquire]

Once again, if this were just a matter of discussing this one email, I would agree completely. Things look so much better fir Terri when we pull them out of the muck, clean em up , and look at them in isolation.

Truer words were never spoken, you just can't take isolated statements or actions, without any knowledge of the context, spin a story around them and expect to arrive at a real depiction.

 

[Snowden]

Lots of people here faulting Terri for complaining but, let's be real, isn't this what women do? (WARNING: This post is payback for all of the "men are clueless horndogs" posts on the other thread.) My wife has a very comfortable life, 3 great kids and a prince of a husband. But no marriage is without its occasional bumps in the road and no person is perfect, so when she gets angry with me about something, you can be sure that at some point she will vent a litany of every flaw I have ever exhibited and every misstep I have ever made in the past 20+ years. I hear it and I'm sure her girlfriends hear it too. I've heard my wife's friends vent about their husbands in the same way. I've always just accepted that most women never forget a man's failing, real or imagined, they just add it to the list that gets pulled out and reviewed whenever the need arises. So let's see a show of hands, how many of the ladies here have never made a "20 Things I Hate About You" list regarding their man or have never vented those items to a friend?

EDIT: Sorry, forgot to make my real point: sometimes venting is just venting, just because a woman may keep such a list doesn't mean that list governs her relationship with her man every day. We vent, and, most of the time, we move on.

I see and agree with your point wholeheartedly. IMO, Terri took it to a new level in that dept. as it is now blowing up in her face. If this venting was also part of her plan to look innocent after Kyron disappeared, I don't know, but if it was, it failed.

Venting can become unhealthy and only fuel the fire. A lot of spouses don't know how good they have it, but I do. I learned that it isn't who loves us, it's who puts up w/us.

 

[Aedrys]

Truer words were never spoken, you just can't take isolated statements or actions, without any knowledge of the context, spin a story around them and expect to arrive at a real depiction.

And we've got more than enough context in this case to get a real depiction of this one email, IMO.

 

[shergal]

All I can say is that I would never, ever, be with a man who thinks so little of my education, my person, my mommy skills, that I would have to pay him to be a stay-at-home mom. Would never be interested in a man who needs to keep all material possessions in his name only, with no thought as to my future.

My mom was a stay-at-home mom and us children talk all the time about how lucky we were.

Could it be that Terri was thinking the same way? my opinion

But she wasn't really "paying him" was she? She was contributing to their joint household. I think (MO) that's what you do as a couple.