For 3 months now, this case has consumed my life. My personal life is kind of crappy right now but I have shared on the boards that I battled alchoholism 4 years ago. I knew I was using this case as a distraction from what was going on in my life but I have found myself living in resentment and anger at CA and GA. I have stayed sober by the grace of my Higher Power but I have also had to live by the principals of my 12 step program. This is not the only answer for addiction, but for me this has worked amazingly.
One of the principals is resentment is a great offender. When I get spun up, it prevents me from doing the good things I am supposed to be doing. I have to let go of my anger at KC, CA and GA. The only way I can do that is by accepting the way things are, whether I like it or not. The fact is, no matter how hard I try, I can't change it anyway.
My God has perfect justice. Maybe not in my lifetime, and definitely not the way I would like, but ultimately I have seen there is justice.
I am not trying to preach, because that is one of the tenets of my 12 step program too. Everyone has to come to their own peace with things and its a process. Mine was helped along by hearing GA's interview.
I think am being shown to hug your babies tight, that 1000's can unite in search of a common good, that there are people who care, that we are not alone. Although I get ill at the thought of where Caylee may be, I am grateful that her disappareance/death has united many when many in this world appear to be so uncaring. I can only speak for myself, but I have become a better mother in small ways since this all came about.
Please forgive the "preaching". I just have to find some peace with this.
I will just share this
God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change
(CA, KC, lies, other people's denial)
Courage to change the things I can
(hug my girls, be a good mom, be an honest person)
And the wisdom to know the difference
(my anger at KC, CA doesn't help bring back Caylee)
Living one day at a time
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace
Taking as he did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it be.
Trusting that he will make things right.
If I surrender to God's will, that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy in the next.
Just my humble thoughts and opinions. I don't want to live with anger anymore.